


The Note

by lovemylarry



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Escape, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Harry is 25, High School, Insecure Louis, Louis is 17 and about to turn 18, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Older Harry, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Party, School, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Smut, Student Louis, Teacher Crush, Teacher Harry, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teasing, Younger Louis, written in past tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-30 13:22:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 88
Words: 131,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3938347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemylarry/pseuds/lovemylarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is new in Holmes Chapel. After his dad left without a trace he moved there with his mum and sisters. Life isn't easy for Louis as he is missing his dad and friends from back home a lot. When Louis is told that he has to attend detention on a Friday afternoon he isn’t aware of the fact that this afternoon will change his life forever because that's when he meets Mr. Styles for the first time. Louis is puzzled, torn apart and unsure about his feelings towards the attractive teacher. The boy can't stop thinking of his teacher, he's on his mind every day and night. Besides school, new friends and parties Louis struggles with his sexuality. Why is Mr. Styles affecting him that much? Louis isn't gay, he is definitely not gay. Normal people aren't gay. And he is not. Louis is convinced about that until the day his heart finally tells him he has been wrong all the time. It's written on that note. It's real, it's wonderful but it's also going to be the toughest time of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> NEWS - I'm editing this story because I noticed that I still have some mistakes in it that need to be corrected. I won't change the story, just a few grammar related things. I have already edited 74 chapters.
> 
> This story is pure fiction and I wrote it for your entertainment.  
> My [tumblr friend](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/) drew [Louis](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/post/161464899998/inspired-by-lovemylarrys-lovemylarry-on-ao3) and [Harry](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/post/161728405288/inspired-by-lovemylarrys-lovemylarry-on-ao3) for me and I hope she knows how thankful I am. ♥  
> Don't translate or publish my work without my permission. Thank you.

Thanks to my friend [Tanja](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/) for drawing these wonderful pictures for my fic. They are absolutely stunning. ♥

[link](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/post/162476021828/inspired-by-lovemylarrys-lovemylarry-on-ao3#notes)

[link](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/post/161728405288/inspired-by-lovemylarrys-lovemylarry-on-ao3)

[link](https://wilywolf.tumblr.com/post/161464899998/inspired-by-lovemylarrys-lovemylarry-on-ao3)

 

The rain was drumming against the roof and the windows while the wind made a scary, whistling sound. It seemed that the sound was coming from far away as Louis tried to open his eyes, slowly, while he was trying to reach out for his mobile. The night was pitch black so he could barely see something in the dark. When Louis finally managed to get it, the screen showed 2:43 am what made him sigh silently. He tried to put the mobile back on his bedside table. While putting it back, Louis was too tired to recognize that the mobile fell onto the fluffy carpet without a sound. He turned around again, curled to the left and snuggled under the thick covers. His breathing slowed down before he fell asleep again while the weather calmed down, just like him.

When Louis woke up for the second time that morning he noticed a vague sound. It was dif-ficult to assign what it was or where it came from exactly because he didn’t feel well at all. The boy just closed his eyes again because his head was aching terribly, just like his throat.

“Louis?” a voice called from the corridor. His mum. She knocked on his door and opened it with a tiny squeak. He heard her walking toward the bed but didn’t move. “Good morning Louis, why are you still here?” she asked him with a soft voice while she was sitting down next to him. Louis hear her words but couldn’t get them into his mind for quite a long time because of his bad condition so he stayed silent and didn’t answer. Jay put her hand onto Louis’ forehead. “Don’t you feel well darling? Seems that you have a temperature. You're too hot,” she noticed worried and caressed her son’s hair carefully.

“I couldn’t sleep well last night,” Louis whispered. He just wasn’t able to speak properly be-cause even his throat hurt. “What time is it?”

“It’s late honey, almost nine but . . . you don’t sound good at all. I will call the school that you won’t go there today,” Jay said and got up off the bed slowly.

“Thank you,” Louis nearly whispered because his throat hurt so much. He coughed a few times and reached out for his mobile phone that wasn't in its place anymore, but on the floor. “I think my alarm didn’t go off,” he remarked and cleared his throat.

“Well, that’s not important right now,” Jay replied. “I’ll give you some medicine and tea with honey for your throat.”

“Thank you mum, you’re the best,” Louis croaked. “I love you.” She looked at him fondly, smiled and walked away while Louis was snuggling back under his covers, trying to ignore his shivering body. It wasn’t a good start, not at all.


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis' past life in Doncaster.

Louis’ family was originally from Doncaster. He had lived there with his family since he was born. His mum Jay, his dad Troy, the teenage sister Lottie and Fizzy and the youngest twins Phoebe and Daisy. They had friends and family around almost every day. Whenever the weather was good, the kids went outside to play in the huge garden and Jay would bring them tons of her homemade chocolate chip cookies. When the days got warmer, Louis and his family had huge barbecues in the garden and when the temperature increased massively, the small swimming pool was a popular attraction during hot and muggy summer days. The house bordered on huge fields where Louis and his friends would hide or steal some corn if they felt too adventurous.

Louis was a member of the Doncaster football team for years. There was no other sport that he loved more than football and even when Louis wasn’t playing with the team, he his friends often went to the small football pitch near the woods where they trained as much as possible. The best day of Louis’ childhood was the day when his dad fulfilled his biggest wish; he started building a cute little wooden tree house up in the huge walnut tree in the back yard with him. It took them months to finish it the way Louis wanted it to be, but it was all worth it. The boy loved this house so much and spent more time up there than in his own room.

School wasn’t a torture for Louis. His marks were quite good although he didn’t put too much effort into studying. His classmates were fun and one of his best friends was one of them, Stan. He was Louis' shadow since they had met in Elementary School and from the first moment on, the boys decided to become very close friends. It was mutual.

Life went on with its ups and downs for the Tomlinson family. They had their good and bad days, just as everyone else. Their family was intact, Louis’ parents were ambitious when it came to their children and everything seemed pretty good. Louis had never thought that all this would ever come to an end. It hit him like a storm without a warning; the day his dad left the family. It was one of those days you wished you could wipe them out of your life, of your calendar, out of your mind.


	3. Dad

Things changed so fast after Louis' dad left. The family didn’t have a single moment to process everything that happened during the following weeks. Louis’ dad left in August, without a trace from now to then what left the whole family in a state of shock. It wasn’t possible for them to continue their lives as if nothing had ever happened. It took Louis seventeen years to experience that emotional pain was even worse than physical pain and nothing could help him to take it away from his heart.

It hit Louis' twin sisters the hardest. They cried a lot and it was heartbreaking for their older brother to witness their pain. The worst thing was that Louis couldn’t help them as much as he wanted to. He was there for Daisy and Phoebe whenever they needed a shoulder to cry on although Louis wasn’t feeling any better. But he was their big brother, he needed to be strong for them as much as he could. During the first weeks, Phoebe and Daisy were haunted by nightmares that scattered their little hearts and souls into a million pieces. Their emotional state got worse and Louis felt how their characters changed slowly. Both of them got more aggressive towards other people and they paniced whenever the older siblings or their mum wanted to leave the house. It was nearly impossible to leave the youngest alone at home anymore because their biggest fear was that their loved ones would never return. Daisy and Phoebe used to be very outgoing children, but it seemed like the disappearance of their dad took all the joy and laughter away from them. The hardest thing was that the family didn’t know why their husband and father had left. Jay had no idea and started questioning herself. She wanted to be strong for Louis and his siblings,she wanted to keep her personal problems away from them so she avoided crying when her children were around but Louis knew how hard it was for her to be the strong woman she pretended to be.


	4. The letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets a letter from t father's lawyer. The family has to move out of their house in Doncaster.

Two weeks after Louis’ father left, the boy found a letter from a lawyer’s office in the post box that was addressed to his mum. He just put it onto the chest of drawers in the hallway without thinking about it any further. He called Stan and asked him to come over. The boys watched TV in the living room when they suddenly heard a piercing shriek that gave them such a fright that they both nearly jumped off the sofa.

Louis found his mum leaning against the wall, holding the letter in her hands. Her face was pale, her hands were trembling and tears were running down her face as she nearly collapsed to the floor. Phoebe and Daisy stood next to her with their eyes wide open, not knowing what to do. Stan reacted with a great presence of mind. He pushed the girls into the living room and closed the door while Louis knelt down next to his mum and wrapped his arms around her. Jay couldn’t speak. She just cried and sobbed heart-rendingly while she covered her face with the palms of her hands.

“What happened?” he asked her quietly.

Jay sobbed bitterly and it took her a few seconds to catch her breath. “I . . . your dad . . . we . . . we have to . . . leave . . . but . . . I can’t . . . I don’t know . . . why . . .”

The incoherent words came out of her mouth without any control as her whole body collapsed onto her son. Her body trembled and Louis just held her close and caressed her hair like she used to do when he was a little boy. When Jay stopped crying, she let go of Louis. She showed him the letter that was soaked with tears by now. “It’s from your dad’s lawyer. We have to leave the house in less than two weeks,” she said defeated.

“Are you sure?” Louis asked her in disbelief.

Jay wiped her eyes and held the letter out to her son. “Yes Louis, I’m sure. It’s written right here, in black and white. Read it yourself. Your dad has already sold the house and we have to move out,” she explained while she pointed at the significant line that should decide on the family’s future. Jay got up from the floor and went into the living room to look after the twins.

“We have to move out because my dad sold the house,” Louis told Stan who was standing under the door frame by now. The words burned like fire in the boy’s throat.

Stan pulled his friend into a hug. “I don’t know what to say than I'm very sorry, Lou.”

Louis wrapped his arms around Stan too. “Me too,” he answered in a whisper, then he pulled back.

“I think it’s better for me to go now. If you need any help, just call me, okay?” Stan proposed. Then he walked out of the front door and left Louis and his family alone.

*

In the afternoon, Louis fell asleep. He woke up late when it was already dark outside. When he was about to look at his phone, he heard a light knock on his bedroom door.

“Louis?” a little voice called him. “Are you in here?”

“Come in sweetheart!” Louis replied sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He switched on the little night light on the bedside table, got up in bed and looked towards the door that was opened carefully. His sister Phoebe walked over to Louis, climbed onto his bed and nuzzled close to her big brother. The older sibling wrapped his arms around her. “What’s up, princess?” he asked and pinched her little nose with his index finger what made her giggle. What a lovely sound it was, he hadn’t heard that one for so long.

“Mummy wants you to come downstairs,” she told Louis. “She said it’s important.”

“Alright sweetheart, just give me a second.” Louis took off his jeans, put on some sweatpants and splashed water in his face quickly. Then he took his sister by the hand and they walked downstairs together.

Jay and Louis’ sisters were all sitting around the huge wooden table in the dining room. Nobody said a word. The only sound was made by the huge grandfather clock that was an old heirloom of Jay’s great-grandmother. Louis sat down on an empty chair, lifted up Phoebe onto his lap and rested his chin on her right shoulder. Daisy crawled onto Jay’s lap and nuzzled close to her too. Jay wrapped her arms around her child and gave Daisy a gentle kiss before she started talking.

“I got a letter from your dad’s lawyer today.” Jay took a deep breath. “We have to leave this house as soon as possible because your dad sold it.”

“You’re kidding right?” Fizzy asked harshly.

“Not at all,” Jay answered and folded the letter to put it back into the envelope. “The new owners will move in in about two weeks.”

Fizzy shook her head and tears were wetting Lottie’s eyes. They stared at their mother in disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” Jay continued. “And as much as I'd like to, we can’t stay here in Doncaster. My savings aren’t sufficient to rent a flat or even a house here,” Jay said. She paused and looked at her children. “That’s why we’ll move to Cheshire in two weeks. My sister Carol offered us to stay at her house as long as we'll need to.”

Phoebe pressed her body against Louis, hugged him and buried her face into her brother’s neck.

“We should carefully choose what we take with us.” The woman exhaled audible and ran her fingers through Daisy’s hair.

Lottie suddenly got up and pushed her chair away in anger. “I don’t want to leave Doncaster! I can’t leave just like that, it’s our home town! I don’t want to leave school, I don’t want to leave my friends!"

Fizzy got up too. “What have you done to daddy to make him leave? That he even sold the house?” she yelled at Jay and slammed her fists against the table. She didn’t even wait for an answer. The girl walked away without saying a single word. Lottie glared at her mum and followed her sister.

When Lottie reached the door to the hallway, she turned around. “I don’t want to leave and I won’t leave! How can you be so unfair? You’re mean!” the girl yelled with tears in her eyes. She slammed the door shut with a loud bang.

Louis was shocked. He just couldn’t believe the scene. What was that tone they were talking to their mother? “I’m sorry for their behavior,” Louis told his mum and caressed her arm to comfort her.

Jay sighted. “They don’t mean it, Louis. I know that. They’re hurt. The ground is cut from under their feet, from under _our_  feet. That’s their way to cope with the situation, please don’t blame them, love.”

Louis shook his head. “How can you defend their behavior? This was unfair and humiliating, that’s what it was,” Louis replied enraged, got up and gave his mum a hug.

“Everything will be okay, I promise,” she said and gave her kids a kiss. She tried to be strong, but when Phoebe wrapped her tiny arms around her and Daisy gave her a kiss onto her cheek, she lost it completely. Tears were running down her face as she pressed the twins closer to her shivering body.

Louis walked out of the room to look for Fizzy and Lottie. The boy found the girls in the garden. “Are you insane?” he yelled at the girls as soon as he saw them. “What was that shit? Mum has done so much for us all those years and now you’re blaming her on things that aren’t even her fault? Can’t you see how hurt she is? She’s sitting in there, crying her eyes out and you dare talking to her like this? Don’t you feel ashamed?” Louis yelled. “I thought you both were more reasonable than this, especially you, Lottie.” Louis clenched his fists and kicked an old football away in anger. He was furious.

The girls didn’t answer. Fizzy played with a little branch while Lottie just stared at the ground. “Don’t you have something to say? Don’t you think it would be appropriate to go inside and say sorry to our mum? Fuck!” The boy just couldn’t contain his anger. Lottie and Fizzy weren’t reacting at all what drew him crazy. “You better tell her that you’re sorry,” he told the girls. He glared at them with a pejorative look before he walked back into the house.

Louis walked into the kitchen where Daisy and Phoebe helped preparing dinner with his mum. “We’re all a bit stressed out, aren’t we?” Louis said softly and gave his mum a kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry for the girl’s behavior.”

Jay smiled at Louis and rubbed his arm. “You’re such a lovely boy, Louis. Thank you so much. They’re just hurt, I don’t blame them.”

Louis helped them and set the table. Dinner was quiet and everyone went to bed early that evening.

 


	5. Stan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis invites his best friend. They spend a nice afternoon together and end up watching a movie. Louis knows he'll miss his friend, but what is this special feeling? Louis doesn't know how to classify it.

The following days were the worst of Louis’ life. The feeling that he had to say goodbye to all the people he loved so much was deeply distressing him. The boy spent most of his free time on the football pitch with his friends. He was happy about every little distraction that helped him to hold back his feelings and take his mind off everything.

“I’m going to visit Carol with the twins this weekend,” Jay said while she cut some tomatoes. “Lottie and Fizzy want to meet Madison in Manchester so I’ll just take them with me,” she continued and put the tomatoes into a bowl. “I think it will be nice for you to just have a weekend for yourself after all.”

Louis nodded. “I think so,” he answered and started peeling the onions.

“Privacy is never too bad, isn’t it,” Jay smiled and gave Louis a wink.

Louis shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully. On the one hand he enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere with his mum but on the other hand he knew that she tried to drop a veiled hint to him about girls.

“There is no girl I could bring here mum. Don’t get your hopes up,” he said jokingly.

Jay giggled. “No worries. It was just a joke although I don’t understand why you’re single. You’re such a sweetheart.”

Louis gave her a stressed out look what made her smile again. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” she giggled and started mixing the dressing. “Carol wants to help me with the move and I still have to organize some things. Maybe you could start packing some of your things this weekend?”

“Of course, mum,” Louis answered and put the peels into the bin.

***

When Louis came home from school on Friday, Jay and his sisters were about to leave. Fizzy and Lottie waited in the car while the twins were putting their little lady bug suitcases into the car boot with Jay’s help. Louis walked toward them.

“Hi Louis, you’re arriving in time!” Jay smiled. She seemed to be in a good mood what made Louis happy. “We’re about to leave. There’s pizza in the oven and I left you some money on if you need to buy something. We’ll be home on Sunday afternoon probably – depends on the traffic.”

“That’s fine. The house will be clean again when you come home,” he said with a wink.

Jay gave her boy a warning look but Louis just winked at her. “I’m joking,” he smiled and hugged his mum tight.

“Try to relax a little,” Jay said as she pulled back. “I know the last couple of days were exhausting for all of us.”

“I will,” Louis answered and gave her another smile. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Stan will come over tonight and maybe he’ll stay overnight so we’ll have fun, I suppose.”

“Sounds like a good plan. If you like, you can also order something. There’s enough money left for both of you.”

“That’s very nice, mum, thank you,” Louis answered and gave her another hug. “You’re the best.”

Jay ruffled through Louis’ hair playfully and waved him goodbye before she climbed into her seat while the twins came running toward him and wrapped their tiny arms around their big brother. Louis kissed the girls’ cheeks, wished his family a good weekend and waved them goodbye. His sisters sent air kisses to their brother until he couldn’t see them anymore.

***

When the car was gone, Louis took a deep breath and walked into the house. He closed the front door, leaned his body against it and listened for a while. It had never been that silent in the house. Louis threw his school bag into a corner, took a shower and put on his comfy clothes. After that, Louis started packing some of his belongings as he had promised.

When Stan arrived, the boys practiced some football tricks in the garden. They stayed there for a few hours until it got colder. They climbed into the tree house where they wrapped themselves into thick blankets and started talking about the near future.

“I can’t believe that you’re leaving," Stan said and put one arm around Louis’ shoulders.

“I can’t believe it either.” Louis sighted. He leaned his head onto Stan’s shoulders and stayed quiet for a few minutes.

Suddenly, Stan pulled a crumbled envelope out of his pocket.

Louis got up from Stan’s shoulder and changed his seating position. “What is this?” he asked frowning.

 “I forgot that Sam gave me a letter for you this morning,” his friend explained. ”I think she was too shy to give it to you personally.” Stan chuckled.

“Sam?” Louis asked. “Sam Warrington?”

Stan nodded and gave his friend a small nudge. “Yes, the cute one of the Warrington sisters,” he added and made an obvious gesture what made Louis giggle. He took the envelope out of his friend's hands, opened it and took a quick look over the neatly scribbled words.

“What does she want?” Stan asked impatiently while Louis was still reading.

“She wants to go on a date with me," Louis answered slowly without looking up. “And she thinks my bum is cute,” he said slowly.

“A lot of girls think that actually,” Stan giggled and patted Louis’ back.

Louis frowned. “Stop talking shit, Stan!”

“I’m not talking shit. They all go crazy about your bum, silly. Haven’t you noticed yet?”

“Well if it is so, I should probably be proud of it, shouldn’t I?” he answered and chuckled. Then he put the letter aside and leaned his head against the wooden wall.

“Will you call her?” Stan wanted to know.

Louis shook his head. “No I won’t.”

Stan looked at him with wide eyes. “Why not? I know so many guys who would love to date her, she’s such a cutie!" he remarked.

Louis patted his friends’ back twice. “First, I’m going to leave soon. It wouldn’t make sense to date her. Second, I don’t want to date Sam and third, if you like her that much – which you obviously do – you can have this letter and do your thing.”

Louis handed his friend the letter. Stan took it and scanned the hand written piece of paper quickly. “To be honest, I’ve liked Sam since I was in grade seven but I was too shy to ask her out,” he tells Louis while he was reading the handwritten letter.

Louis smiled at his friend and gave him a small nudge. “Well, then you should take the opportunity and call her,” he replied amused.

“I’m not sure if it will work because the girls always want to meet you, not me,” Stan replied.

Louis shook his head. “I don’t think so. Maybe they are too shy to tell you?”

Stan chuckled. “Oh yes, of course! I’m such a womanizer.”

Louis nudged him playfully again and giggled. “You’re underestimating yourself here, my friend.”

Stan stuck out his tongue toward Louis. He put the letter back into his pocket and crossed his arms.

Both boys stopped talking. They just sat there and looked up to the sky that became darker and darker within minutes. The clouds were moving fast up in the sky and soon the wind blew stronger, brushing through the branches of the trees. Soon, the boys walked back into the house. Stan put an arm around Louis’ shoulders again and leaned his head against Louis’.

“I’ll miss you, Lou,” he said and pulled his friend closer. “We’ve been friends for so long and I just can’t deal with the thought of losing you.”

Louis suddenly felt sad. Where did that come from? The words of his friend touched him so much that he just couldn’t hold back the little tear that run down his cheek without warning. The thought of leaving Stan behind was the worst and it hurt Louis more than he had thought. Stan gave Louis a hug. “I’m sorry,” Louis whispered and felt how more tears poured down his cheeks, wetting his arm. “Don’t be,” Stan replied. “I know we’ll stay best friends but it will be different.” They stayed like this for a while.

***

Louis’ favorite room in the house was definitely the living room. It was huge but still cozy and the old fireplace just looked wonderful and was a blessing on cold winter days. The fire lit the room nicely and the quiet sound of cracking wood was incredibly calming. While Stan was in the kitchen, ordering pizza, Louis switched off the lights and stared at the fire. The flames flickered in wonderful warm colors while various shadows were spreading around the room.

“Wow, Louis,” Stan said in amazement when he stepped into the room. “This is beautiful. I wish I was here with Sam,” he chuckled.

“If you’d rather spend the evening with her, call her. I won’t stand in your way,” Louis replied cheeky and both boys giggled.

“I’d rather not, at least not now,” Stan answered and flopped down on the couch. “The pizza will be here in about an hour,” he informed Louis. “What do you think of watching a thriller? Remember, a few weeks ago you wanted to watch all episodes of “the grudge” – we could do that tonight, maybe?”

Louis nodded. “I remember yeah, I mean, why not?”

“Or would you rather watch an action film or something?” Stan asked.

Louis shook his head. “No, no, I’m fine with “the grudge”, I really want to see it. And with you, it will be fun. Who knows when we’ll have that much time together again so, let’s do it!” The boy switched on the TV and selected the first film on Netflix.

“Yeah, it will quite take a while,” Stan chuckled and got comfy on the sofa. “I can’t wait to watch the last part. I’ve seen the first ones but still, I love watching them so I’m happy now,” he explained with a wide smile on his face.

“I don’t know why I’ve never seen it,” Louis replied as he pressed play. Stan just chuckled.

While the opening credits showed on the screen, the weather outside got worse. It had been windy and rainy for a while but suddenly, the rain got heavier. The wind whistled strongly outside and made scary noises. Some branches hit the walls and parts of the windows with force and the rain drummed against the windows. Nature created the perfect atmosphere for that kind of film. Louis opened a bag of popcorn and filled a huge bowl with it. He also pulled a bag of crisps out of the drawer and offered his friend some of the crispy snacks. A few minutes later, the pizza arrived.

***

After finishing his pizza, Louis leaned back and concentrated on the film again. When it got too scary, Louis usually used to look at his friends to see their reaction to the scene. It was a habit and it made him feel better, kind of. Sometimes the tension would get a little too overwhelming and this habit usually just made him feel calm again.

But this time it was different. Louis somehow felt it wasn’t just that, there was something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. While the character was walking along a dark corridor that was barely illuminated, Louis looked at Stan again. He noticed how broad Stan’s shoulders were in contrast to his. His friend’s hair was messy but fluffy and he just looked quite cute. The thoughts Louis had on Stan were so new and confusing. Just when he was questioning himself, Stan noticed his gaze and smiled at his friend. Louis felt hot all of a sudden.

“Hey buddy, are you scared?" his friend asked Louis with a smirk. When Louis didn’t answer, he chuckled. “You wanted to see this film, so look at the screen.” Stan gave Louis a small nudge before he turned his head back to the screen too.

“You said it wouldn’t be that bad,” Louis whined and grabbed a pillow to hold on to. The rhythm of the music changed. The character was about to face something creepy within the next seconds and Louis buried his face into the pillow so that he could only see a part of the screen. He nervously threw popcorn into his mouth.

“It isn’t that bad, Louis,” Stan chuckled but held his right arm up. “Come here.”

“Don’t make fun of me, okay?” Louis replied frowning but moved closer to his friend until their bodies touched slightly. It wasn’t something the boys would do on a regular basis and Louis liked the feeling of being close to his friend. After a while, Louis leaned his head against Stan’s shoulder. Stan wrapped his right arm around Louis’ waist and rested his hand there.

“Is it better that way?” Louis nodded. Stan’s hand felt warm and comfortable on Louis’ waist but somehow, it was different.

“It’s not only the film, to be honest. I’m sad.” Louis mumbled quietly. “I don’t want to leave.” He paused for a second and sighted. “Most of all, I don’t want to leave you.” Louis turned his head to look at his friend. There it was again. The warm feeling Louis felt earlier but didn’t pay much attention to. “And I miss my dad too.” The boy looked down again as he nuzzled closer to Stan who caressed his side.

“I know. I will miss you too,” Stan sighted. “You are my best friend and nothing in the world can change that,” the boy added. “And that’s the good part.”

Louis looked at his friend and nodded. “I wish.”

The feeling Louis had when he was physically close to Stan was unsettling him a little. The situation gave him food for thought because he couldn’t really classify what was going on. Louis and Stan had always been close but this time it was different. After Louis’ dad left, their relationship had automatically become more physical. It wasn’t the boys' intention, it just happened. Louis felt empty, he needed hugs and he needed someone to comfort him during the saddest time of his life.

 


	6. The move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and his family move to Doncaster and explore their new home.

The family left Doncaster at the end of August. When they approached Holmes Chapel, Louis’ mind was completely empty. Raindrops fell continuously from the sky, expressing how everyone was feeling inside.

Carol’s house was a small and made of red bricks. It was surrounded by a little front garden with a snow white fence. Jay parked the her van in the garage entrance and the lorry stopped on the street. Suddenly, Phoebe and Daisy shrieked loudly when they spotted a cute little cat on the pavement. They immediately ran over and started to pat it. “Mummy, look!" Daisy yelled out. “It’s so cute, can we keep it?”

Jay smiled weakly at her daughter and shook her head. “I’m sure this little fur ball belongs to someone. We can’t just keep it,” she said softly and smiled at her twins.

Louis knew she was thankful for every second the girls weren’t sad. While Phoebe and Daisy were playing with the little cat, Jay climbed the stairs to the front door and rang the doorbell twice. Her sister Carol opened and pulled Jay into a long hug. Then she walked over to Louis and hugged him too.

“Welcome, Louis. I’m really sorry how everything worked out but I’m sure you’ll like it here. The neighbors are nice and the village is quiet. I think that's okay for a new start.”

Everyone helped to unload the lorry and soon all boxes were carried into the house. From this moment on, Jay, Fizzy, Lottie, Daisy, Phoebe and Louis were officially subtenants in Cheshire for an indefinite period of time. After Carol offered the family homemade cake, biscuits and tea, she showed everyone their rooms. Her house wasn’t big but very comfortable and beautiful. Unfortunately, Uncle Stephen had passed away a few years ago. Carol offered Jay to stay in his old room.

“Stephen would have loved to help you. Please don’t feel uncomfortable,” Carol told Jay when she refused to use the room for herself.

Her children Sue and Matt lived in Manchester so there were enough rooms for the Tomlinsons in the house. Soon, Jay and the girls went downstairs to carry their boxes into their rooms. Just when Louis wanted to follow them, Carol gave him a sign to follow her upstairs to the second floor. There were only three rooms upstairs: an empty room that should become Louis’ room, a small bathroom and a storage room.

“I thought you should have a room on your own because you’re the oldest and you’ll need your privacy. Please feel at home,” she said while she opened the door and let Louis step inside.

The boy loved the room from the first second he saw it. It wasn’t huge but very comfy. There was a huge skylight on the left and the ceiling was covered with white planks of wood. The cream carpet matched the huge bed on the right of the room. It was covered with fluffy pillows. The room contained a wardrobe, a little desk with a swivel chair, some shelves and a nice mirror. A door led to the tinybathroom.

Louis walked over to the huge painting that was put up above the bed. It had totally caught his eye because it was one of his favourites, “The Kiss” by Klimt. The colourful painting was surrounded by a thick golden frame with ornamental decoration on it. Louis stepped closer to the painting and touched the frame carefully.

“Oh if you don’t like it I can remove it for you,” Carol said quickly but Louis shook his head.

“No, no, I like it very much. It really fits in here plus it’s one of my favorite paintings,” he answered quickly.

Carol smiled at him. "I'm happy about that, Louis." She walked over to the chest of drawers and opened one. "Look, I took all of my things out. All drawers and the wardrobe are empty so you can put your stuff in.”

 After dinner, they all fell into their beds, exhausted, tired and insecure, not knowing what the future would hold for them.


	7. First steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay has to organize some things before her kids can attend school.

During the first days, Jay often went to the municipal hall. She had to arrange some formalities for her family plus she was looking for a job. She hadn’t been working for maybe ten years because Troy, Louis’ father, was an engineer and had his own successful company. He earned enough money for the family. When Louis and the older siblings were younger, Jay used to work as a nurse at the local hospital but she stopped working when Daisy and Phoebe were born. Troy let Jay decide if she wanted to work or take care of the kids only. That’s why Jay was skeptical if she would succeed finding a new job soon. Fizzy, Lottie and Louis should attend Homes Chapel’s comprehensive school and the twin sisters should sign into the primary school that wasn’t far from Carol’s house.

Jay and Louis went to the principal of the school a few days later. The headteacher invited Jay because he thought it would be important to talk about some things concerning Louis’ further education and he wanted to get to know the boy and his mum personally. Louis was supposed to finish school this year but Mr. Cleve wasn’t sure if it would have made sense to let him directly attend the graduating class. Jay told Mr. Cleve how worried she was about Louis’ emotional state he was in because of their current situation. Mr. Cleve seemed to be very understanding and empathic. He had sympathy for the difficult situation and encouraged Louis to repeat one level. He thought that would help him to catch up with the content for the finals.

Due to the formalities the department had to arrange first so Louis and his siblings had one week off before they attended school officially. It wasn't easy for Jay to find a job but after a few weeks she got a job as a nurse at the Central Manchester Hospital in Manchester. Carol offered Jay to stay at her house until she had enough savings to cover the costs for an own apartment.


	8. New friends and other people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis' classmates and friends.

Louis was very nervous when he went to his new school for the first time. The four separate school buildings were surrounded by many green spaces. The school yard was huge and there were a lot of possibilities to spend an enjoyable break: a football pitch with stands, ping pong tables, trampolines, an oversized chess field, a basketball field, a few table-top footballs and a keep-fit trail that started near the pitch. There were a lot of trees surrounding the pitch but they weren’t as dense as in a forest. Between the trees you could sit on benches or bring your own blanket with you. Louis definitely wanted to join the school football team.

At his first day of school, Louis bumped into Eleanor, a nice girl from his class. Louis and Eleanor got along very well and became good friends after a few days. It was almost unreal but he felt as if he had already known the girl for years. She was outgoing, funny and helped Louis to orientate during the first days a lot. She was popular among the boys although she didn’t pay attention to most of them. Eleanor had a great sense of fashion. She was tall and had long, curly brown hair. Louis and she were so close that even their classmates used to make jokes about them being a couple. Everybody in Louis’ family loved her as much as he did.

She also introduced Louis to her friends Nathan, Taylor, Lauren and Chloe. Only Taylor was already in the graduating class, the others were their classmates too. The boys loved football as much as Louis. They started meeting on a regular basis to play football with some other lads in their free time.

Lauren and Chloe were completely different. Lauren was a skater girl who didn’t like to dress fancy. She would always walk around in baggy pants and oversized sweaters. Lauren and Louis sometimes went over to the skate park where they practiced new skating figures and moves together. It was always fun to exchange experiences with Lauren. Her casual look was a complete contrast to Chloe who was exactly the opposite. Her behavior and clothing absolutely underpinned the image of the stereotype of girl. Chloe loved make-up, fancy clothes, boys and parties. After a few days and conversations with her, Louis noticed that Chloe wasn’t such a bitchy girl who she pretended to be.

“If I wasn’t pretending I was a total bitch they wouldn’t even think of hitting on me. That gets me a lot of free drinks and more flirts than you’d think,” Lauren said to Louis one day. Despite her look she was quite funny too, especially when she was alone with Louis and the other guys.

There were only a few people in Louis class he didn’t like. The first ones to mention were two guys he disliked the minute he saw them: Brandon and his friend Joshua. Although Brandon was in Louis’ class, he never hung around with the classmates. Both of them were usually accompanied by a few bad boys were definitely older than the average people at school. They were covered in tattoos and piercings. Brandon used to smoke a lot and always smelled like an ash tray or weed. He was apparently going to the gym on a regular basis. The older boy's face was angular and very masculine. Brandon used to call every girl babe or baby and he was often surrounded by older girls who looked like cheap girls. As good as Brandon looked, as arrogant and selfish he behaved toward others. His effect on girls and the bad boy image completed his look. Louis noticed that Brandon was observing him during the first days of school, shooting darts at the younger boy but he didn’t know why.

Most of the girls were nice to Louis, except Nadine. She was rude and cold from the beginning. Her behavior was so terrible that Louis disliked her the minute he saw her, similar to Brandon and his friend. Nadine’s clothes were bitchy and tasteless (in contrast to Chloe’s) and of course she had nearly white, bleached blonde hair.

Classmates aside, there was another person Louis didn’t like: Mrs. Holloway, the class teacher. She was a short, middle aged woman with dark hair, very strict and unfair. A lot of pupils even called her “the Holmes Chapel witch”. Although Louis was new at school he soon noticed he should watch out when she was around. Luckily, he didn’t get confronted by her at first but then the day came. He didn’t know this experience would change his life tremendously.

 


	9. Threatened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is too late and gets a detention sheet from his English teacher. He stays at school to work and meets Brandon and his friend Joshua on his way to the lockers. They threaten him and leave him behind after a while. Although Louis and his sisters try to contact their dad, he doesn't answer and their mother doesn't want to talk about this topic at all.

It was a windy Monday morning when Louis entered the bright entrance hall of his school. The boy gasped for air and his heart was hammering in his chest after he skated like an idiot to catch up the time he had missed this morning. Louis ran down the corridors to get to his locker as fast as he could. He took out his English material and locked his skateboard away. His heart beat like crazy and his legs were shaking when he arrived at his classroom. The boy took a huge breath before he knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Mrs. Holloway shouted unfriendly from inside.

Louis opened the door slowly. He blushed while he stepped in because everybody was staring at him. “I’m really sorry, Mrs. Holloway. Something went wrong with my alarm this morning,” he mumbled, nervously pulling the sleeves of his sweater.

Mrs. Holloway didn’t even say good morning. She just glared at Louis and pushed her glasses down her nose. “You’re new at this school, Tomlinson! You want to graduate next year so you should work hard and not skip off school whenever you want to,” she scolded him.

Louis immediately felt the need of defending himself. “But I didn’t skip…”

The elderly woman clearly wasn’t interested in his explanation. “No excuses, Tomlinson! Sit down and don’t you dare talking during my class!” she ordered while pointing at the last row. Louis didn’t say anything. He just walked over to his seat in the back and sat down.

Nathan tapped his forehead. “She’s insane,” he whispered.

“Stop talking in the back!” Mrs. Holloway shouted furiously.

Louis was completely intimidated by her so he didn’t dare to talk at all during the rest of the lesson. What a relief it was when the bell signaled the end of the lesson. Just when Louis was about to leave the classroom with Eleanor, Mrs. Holloway called him over.

“Louis Tomlinson!” Her voice was so loud.

Louis turned around. “Don’t just stare at me, come here,” she said harshly, took off her glasses and started to note something down. “Take this home and let your parents sign it.” She handed Louis a small piece of paper. “It’s your detention sheet. You will hand this sheet with the signature of your parents to the supervisory teacher this Friday. Don’t dare not to do so. Trust me, you wouldn’t like the consequences.”

Louis didn’t answer. He just took the paper out of her hands and left the room as quickly as possible. This whole thing put him in a bad mood. Eleanor hugged Louis from behind and gave him a small kiss onto his cheek. “Don’t be sad, Lou,” Eleanor tried to calm Louis and put her arm around the boy’s waist.

Louis shook his head. “I’ve never had any problems with my teachers, you know. It wasn’t even my fault. My alarm just didn’t go off this morning and that’s because I have to be here on Friday afternoon!” Louis complained angrily. He kicked an empty soda can out of his way. It hit a wall with a metallic sound. “She didn’t even listen to me! I would never skip classes!”

Eleanor caressed her friend’s back. ”She’s unfair, we all know that. She doesn’t know you. Don’t take it personally,” she said. Eleanor hugged Louis again before she walked away because she had to work on a project with Chloe and Lauren.

***

Louis went to the library after school. On the way to his locker, the detention sheet fell out of his pocket. He picked the crumbled piece of paper up from the floor. There it stood with red letters: Louis would have to attend detention on Friday afternoon from four to half past five because he had been late for Mrs. Holloway’s class this morning. He was so angry. Not only because he had to be there on Friday but mainly because there should be an information event about the football team that day where he had planned to go to in first place. Suddenly the boy heard someone who shouted his name. When Louis turned around, he froze immediately. There were Brandon and Joshua.

“Hey! Dickhead!” Brandon yelled with a cigarette in his mouth and pushed his sleeves up his muscular arms which were covered in tattoos. “You’re new at this school so we thought you could use a few instructions,” he said with a certain undertone.

Louis didn’t know what to do or say while Brandon stepped closer to him. He was very tall and stared directly into Louis’ eyes. The smoke of his cigarette caused Louis to cough, his eyes watered slightly.

“There’s just one thing you have to know at this school,” Brandon growled and blew the smoke straight into Louis’ face. His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled awful. The older guy suddenly pushed Louis against the lockers. “Keep your hands off Eleanor,” he hissed and spat onto the floor, next to Louis’ shoes. His friend didn’t say anything. He just glared at Louis with narrowed eyes. The boy's heart pounded heavily.

Brandon grabbed Louis’ chin. He turned the boy’s head to the side roughly that it hurt. “I’m serious. Keep your hands off her,” Brandon snorted. “If you hurt her I’m going to hurt you. And I promise you’re going to regret it,” he spat and slammed Louis against the lockers again. He whimpered because of the pain. The boy was so frightened that he couldn’t say a word. Brandon took his hands off him, took one last drag of his cigarette, threw it onto the floor and stepped onto it. “Now go home to your mummy and cry if you need to,” Brandon said amused and laughed out spitefully. Then they walked away.

Louis’ heart was still hammering in his chest. He didn’t dare to move at first, waited there for a few minutes until he couldn’t see or hear Brandon and Joshua anymore. On his way home Louis was lost in thought. Why would Brandon threaten him? What was his relationship to Eleanor? Why would Eleanor even have something to do with a guy like Brandon? She was such a lovely girl and Brandon clearly a huge asshole. Why?

The atmosphere at home wasn’t good when Louis arrived. Fizzy and Lottie had tried to call their father but he wouldn’t answer at all. Jay didn’t want to talk about this topic.

“He’s gone and we have to accept that. It makes no sense to call him. Maybe he’s even changed his number,” she said and refused to answer more questions concerning him.

Louis couldn’t understand why she was so cold when it came to this topic. Didn’t she want to contact him too? Maybe she was just trying to ease the pain, maybe. Talking about Troy would probably hurt her even more. After dinner, Louis went up into his room and sent his dad a message too but didn’t get a reply.

 


	10. Plans for the weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and his friends plan a party when Stan calls Louis to tell him that he has a girlfriend. When Louis comes back, he's kind of sad and his friends think it's because he doesn't have a girlfriend. They start talking about him but Louis' doesn't like that. In the evening, he tries to reach his dad again but nothing will happen.

The next day Louis and his friends sat down in the cafeteria. They had lunch and made up plans for the weekend. Nathan’s idea was to have an autumn barbecue combined with a movie night at his place. His mum and dad planned to visit relatives so he would have the house for himself. When Nathan mentioned the barbecue, Louis got sad all of a sudden. His friend noticed Louis’ change and put his hand onto his shoulder.

“What’s wrong with you Louis? Isn’t it a good idea?”

“It’s not because of the party,” Louis replied. “You just reminded me of home and...my dad.”

There was silence for a few seconds which was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of Louis’ phone. Stanley. Louis answered the call outside. His friend just wanted to know how Louis was doing and told him about Sam. They started dating a few days after Louis left Doncaster and were together for almost one week. That was good news but Louis noticed that something inside of him stirred in an awkward way. He felt a strange, empty feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel kind of uncomfortable. That's why Louis tried to end the conversation quickly.

“Did I say something wrong?” Stan wanted to know. “I’m really sorry if I did, Lou.”

“Oh no, it’s nothing," Louis lied. He just didn’t want to talk about his feelings because he didn’t even know what was going on. “It’s just…my friends are waiting for me and my lunch is getting cold.”

They ended the call and Louis walked back inside. The boy got lost in thought again. What was this feeling like and why was it there? Was it jealousy? But why should he be jealous? Why couldn’t Louis be happy for his best friend who finally dated the girl he wanted to be with since grade seven? Louis tried to push his awkward thoughts away as he sat down at the table again. His friends were still talking about the weekend plans when suddenly someone covered his eyes.

“Who am I?” a happy voice chirped from behind.

“Francis?” Louis guessed.

“I’m not Francis, you idiot.”

Eleanor giggled as she gave Louis a nudge in the ribs, then hugged him from behind tightly. She placed a little kiss onto Louis’ cheek what made him smile. He scooted over a little bit so she could sit next to him.

“What are you guys doing? If it’s something important I’d like to know!” she remarked with a chuckle and pulled a funny face.

“We’re planning a party,” Nathan explained and continued talking to his friends.

Eleanor turned to Louis. “Hey, what’s that look on your face? Aren’t you allowed to attend the party?” she asked and playfully hit Louis’ arm.

Louis didn't answer. He looked at the tabletop and fidgeted with a bottle.

“Is something wrong with your friend?” Chloe asked. 

“No, no," Louis shook his head. "He’s got a new girlfriend."

“Oh, I see. I mean, we can get you a girlfriend too if that's the problem!” Chloe winked at him and gave him a small nudge.

Nathan pointed at Louis. “You're single Louis, aren’t you?” Louis nodded.

Eleanor put her head onto Louis' shoulder. “It’s because he’s too shy,” she giggled.

Louis stuck his tongue out toward her, then nudged her nose with his index finger. "As shy as you, love," he said jokingly.

“I don’t understand how someone like you can be single,” Lauren remarked seriously. “You’re so funny, lovely and handsome.”

Lauren touched Louis' hair. "And look at your hair! So fluffy!"

"And you're mysterious!" Chloe added quickly.

Louis frowned and made a gesture. “Could you please stop worrying about my relationship state? There’s no girlfriend around and I’m everything else but mysterious,” Louis whined. “You're crazy. Now stop talking about me, please. Are there any news concerning the party?”

                                                                                                                                    ***

At home, Louis showed his mum the detention sheet. “That’s okay darling, don’t worry. I’ll sign it and it will be okay.”

Louis gave his mum a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, you're the best mum in the world! I thought you would maybe be mad at me, you know."

Jay shook her head. "Not for that. It's nothing, really but if your teacher orders that you have to attend detention, you will have to do so, that's all."

On the way to his room, Louis thought about how cool his mum was. Louis was proud of his good relationship with her.

Unfortunately, Louis' dad hadn’t tried to call him back or send him a message what was very dissappointing. Why wouldn’t he try to get in touch with his son? Had he done anything wrong? The boy didn’t want to give up on his dad so he tried to call him several times - without success. Louis sighted and decided to go to bed early this evening. He switched off his phone and snuggled into the covers of his cosy bed.


	11. Detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis stays at school because he has detention in the afternoon. He's so ocupied that he forgets to get there in time. He hurries across the yard and hurts himself badly. Although he's in pain, he doesn't dare not to attend detention because of his teacher. When he sees Harry, he's blown away. How beautiful can a person be? Louis is distracted by this young teacher and the tremendous pain in his foot is nearly killing him. Harry notices that Louis doesn't feel well and helps him. He advises him to visit a doctor but Louis can't reach his mum or Carol.

On Friday after school Louis reworked some subject matter in the library when he got a message from Eleanor. Just when he was about to answer, he noticed how late it already was. What would Mrs. Holloway say if she found out that Louis hadn’t only been late for her class but also for detention? The thought alone let Louis feel sick. He closed his laptop, threw all his books and folders into his rucksack hastily. Then he pulled out the crumpled sheet of paper to check where he was supposed to go. Detention took place in another building the boy had never been in before. Louis really had to hurry because there were only five minutes left to his unlucky appointment. That’s why he decided to take the shortest route possible and run as fast as he could.

Unfortunately, one of the green spaces he ran over wasn’t as clean as the others. It seemed like not long ago someone had worked on the trees in that section because there were naked branches spread all over the place. As Louis was about to cross them, he suddenly stumbled over a thick branch. He lost his balance and fell hard onto the ground. Naked branches scratched his face and the second he touched the ground, he immediately felt a sharp sting in his right ankle that was worse than every other pain he had ever felt before. Louis cried out in pain but there was nobody there. The pain was so strong that he saw stars for a few seconds and thought he’d pass out. He was close to tears.

When he looked up, he noticed that his rucksack was open. Some of his books and pens were spread around and his skateboard was damaged. The boy clenched his teeth while he tried to get to his feet again which was a real challenge. Louis needed several attempts to just get on his knees but how should he manage to get up? He tried again and again but failed every time what made him curse loudly. Louis couldn’t put weight on his right foot at all because it hurt terribly but he had no other choice than to endure the stinging. He crawled over to a tree stump where Louis could support himself a little bit. His ankle was throbbing and the pain got worse, nearly unbearable. He cursed as he sat down on the stump to rest for a few seconds to reduce the pressure on his foot.

For a second Louis thought of leaving, but then the angry face of his class teacher appeared in front of him. She probably wouldn’t understand his situation and Louis didn’t want to find out what her reaction would be if she found out he hadn’t attended detention. Louis tried to move as carefully as possible when he got up to pick up his belongings which was quite hard and took him forever. He put the rucksack onto his shoulders, took his skateboard off the grass and limped towards the building as fast as the pain allowed it. The pain was immense but he somehow managed to get to the room he was supposed to go.  Louis was about thirty minutes late when he knocked onto the door.

“Come in!” a deep voice responded.

Louis opened the door and stepped into the room. A man, probably in his twenties, sat behind the desk and looked friendly at him. He wore a casual white shirt that showed small parts of his chest tattoos, a necklace with a silver cross around his neck and several silver rings on his fingers. His long curly hair was held by an olive green headscarf that let some of his curls stick out of it. The boy was stunned because he had never seen someone that beautiful before. And there it was again: the strange feeling Louis had felt before but couldn’t put into a category. It wasn’t exactly the same, it was _intense_. It hit him like a wave of heat, all of a sudden, without warning. Louis heart started beating faster when the handsome man looked directly at him. The boy felt the heat crawling up his stomach into his face which, he was absolutely sure, could be seen by now. He felt hot and insecure when their eyes met.

“Good afternoon, I’m here for detention,” Louis explained.

The man nodded and got up. Louis couldn’t help but stare at this human creature that looked like a combination of a professional male model and the guy next door. His left arm was nearly covered in black tattoos which looked good on him.

“You must be Louis Tomlinson,” the man said as he walked toward the boy.

Louis couldn't say anything because the man’s soft but also raspy voice nearly killed him. How could someone look so good and have a voice like that? He had never heard any voice that came close to it.

“Hi Louis!” the man smiled and reached out his hand toward Louis. “I haven’t seen you until now so I assume you’re new here? I’m Harry Styles.”

“I am,” Louis answered and shook Mr. Styles’ hand.

Now that he stood so close to Mr. Styles, Louis noticed his perfume, which was combined with a slight vanilla note. It smelled so good on him, heavenly.

“Sorry for being late,” Louis apologized. “I . . . uhm, I had a little accident,” he explained as he pointed at his dirty clothes and his foot.

“Don’t worry. I’ll turn a blind eye this time because you're new,” Mr. Styles answered with a smile that revealed a pair of cute dimples. “You’re the only one today,” he said as he walked back to his desk. “Choose a seat.” The teacher made a gesture with his hand before he opened the folder in front of him. “Mrs. Holloway gave me some extra work for you.”

Louis just nodded. How could he cover up his injury? He didn’t want Mr. Styles to think he was a wet blanket because he fell so he walked slowly to the nearest desk as normal as possible. The boy regretted it within seconds but there was no other way than playing the cool. It was such a terrible idea because he put weight on his injured foot. Louis couldn’t do anything about the quiet moan that escaped his mouth when he felt the sharp sting in his ankle.

Mr. Styles was still looking through his folder while Louis sat down behind a desk. He walked over and put the worksheets in front of Louis. “Are you okay?” he asked frowning.

“I’m okay,” Louis lied and faked a little smile.

Mr. Styles just nodded. He walked back to his desk and sat down again. Louis sighed because if he was honest to himself, he wasn’t sure if he could survive one hour dealing with the tremendous pain. He took his pencil case and a notepad out of his rucksack to get his work started.

But the pain wasn’t the only thing that distracted Louis. The tingly feeling in the pit of his stomach felt weird, like a mixture of an incredible nervousness, unknown expectations and sympathy. There wasn’t a particular thing the boy could link his feelings to, not because he had never felt something similar before but the problem was that Mr. Styles was a boy. This was different, too different to just ignore it. Mr. Styles’ whole appearance fascinated Louis in very much. These casual clothes looked so good on him, too good. When he looked at the teacher, Louis’ stomach fluttered. The boy felt his pulse quicken, his heartbeat pounded in his throat. Suddenly a thought came to Louis’ mind which let him feel hot and cold at the same time. He felt thunderstruck. He felt nearly the same when he watched the film with his friend Stan. He remembered that he felt similar when he talked to Stan on the phone but this time it was different, stronger. What was wrong with him? What was this? Why wouldn’t this feeling go away?

Louis just couldn’t look away. Mr. Styles was busy, he didn’t seem to notice the boy’s stares but of course there would be the moment when his eyes met Louis’ for a second what made the boy blush immediately. Mr. Styles just smiled at his student and continued to work. Louis felt embarrassed. He felt embarrassed that he obviously liked this man but he had no idea why he felt that way. Did he like him? Why? He was confused, unsure and still incredibly nervous. The boy tried to hide his flushed face from Harry so he rested one elbow on the table to cover half of his face with one hand. He tried to ignore the queasy feeling in his stomach.

As much as Louis tried to concentrate, it wasn’t possible. His thoughts were only circling around Mr. Styles and his mixed up feelings. The chaos in his head made Louis almost forget about his aching ankle. The insecurity he carried deep inside of him was worse at this point. His mind was full of thoughts but his worksheets were still empty. After many pointless minutes of weird feelings and less work, Louis just couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to leave the room, if only for a few minutes. That’s why he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom.

“Of course,” Mr. Styles said. “The bathroom is on the right side, you’ll see the signs.”

Louis tried to get up carefully and as discreet as discreet as possible. When he turned around, he accidentally hit the table leg with his injured foot. The pain was burning incredibly strong again but Louis stayed quiet, clenched his fists and his teeth instead. He tried to walk as normal as possible until he reached the door. Mr. Styles shouldn’t know how weak he really was. The pain in his ankle was tremendous, almost unbearable but somehow Louis managed to get to the bathroom without calling attention to him.

In the bathroom, Louis rested his hands on the sink and stared into the mirror. His face was partially wounded, not dramatically but definitely visible. His hair was scrubby, the face pale and red. He looked terrible!

Louis quickly splashed water into his face, toweled it and tried to fix his messy hair somehow. The pain in his foot was bad. What should he do? He needed to see a doctor but still, there were about 45 minutes left. Tears ran down his cheeks, not only because he didn’t know what was going on with him but also because his foot was stinging horribly. Just when he was about to leave, he accidentally put too much weight on his foot again. The pain hit him harder than before this time what caused his body to collapse onto the ground. Louis’ breathing increased because of the pain that was nearly unbearable. More tears were streaming down his face while Louis was convulsing in pain, holding his aching ankle.

***

The pain must have made Louis unconscious for seconds or minutes. He couldn’t remember anything but the light slap on his cheek. When he opened his eyes slowly, he saw Mr. Styles face over him. Was this a dream?

“Louis! Louis! What happened?” the teacher asked worried. “Are you okay? Talk to me!”

“I don’t know,” Louis whispered.

He found himself on the floor in a bathroom. Louis tried to get up on his own but he struggled. There it was again, the pain in his ankle, this terrible sting he could do anything about.

“Wait, I’ll help you,” Mr. Styles said as he got up, put his hands under Louis’ armpits and tried to pull him off the tiles to get him back onto his feet.

“I fell and twisted my ankle somehow,” was all Louis could breathe before the pain took over again. The pain was still very strong, pulsing in his ankle. Louis exhaled loudly, his face twisted in pain. He couldn’t hide it anymore, he just couldn’t. Quiet whimpers escaped his mouth, it hurt too much.

“Put your hand around my shoulders,” Harry said and gave Louis a sign. “Just hold on to me and don’t move your foot at all, let alone put weight on it.” The teacher put his arm around Louis to support him. Louis stayed quiet but did what Mr. Styles told him.

“I was in the first aider team at my university. Would you mind if I took a look at your foot?” Harry asked while he led Louis out of the bathroom.

The boy just nodded in agreement while he limped across the corridor with Mr. Styles’ help. The pain was so strong that he couldn’t stop whimpering although it was embarrassing for him. It happened automatically. Mr. Styles led him to a small room with a clean patient couch where Louis sat down.

“I’ll be right back,” the Mr. Styles said. “I’ll just lock the classroom and get your things.”

Louis lay down, clenched his teeth and screwed up his eyes. Why couldn’t the pain just go away?

When Mr. Styles came back, he asked Louis to sit. Then he crouched down in front of the boy and took his shoe off as gently as he could. The slightest touch made Louis cry out in pain. The man rested his hand on Louis’ knee to calm him. Although the pain was intense, the slight touch of Mr. Styles’ hand caused Louis’ stomach to flutter.

“Why haven’t you told me earlier? Your ankle got so big,” Harry said seriously.

“I thought it might get better,” Louis answered close to tears.

The teacher shook his head in disbelief. “This was silly, Louis.”

When he took his hand away from Louis’ knee, the boy automatically put his hand on the spot and rested it there. Mr. Styles was still crouching in front of the boy as he looked him in the eyes again. His look caused Louis’ stomach to twist. His teacher’s green eyes were so beautiful. Louis rubbed his hands over his face twice and exhaled.

“Can you move your foot a little bit?’ the man asked.

Just the attempt let Louis cry out. He felt tears of pain running down his cheeks as he pressed his fist against his forehead and clenched his teeth.

“Okay, okay. Stop it. Don’t torture yourself.” Mr. Styles took his hands off Louis’ foot, got up and crossed his arms. “This looks serious,” he remarked while he fixed his headband. “Your injury could be a sprain or a torn ligament. That usually hurts immensely, even more than a fracture,” he explained. “You should definitely go see a doctor.”

“But Mrs. Holloway will…” Louis said.

“Don’t worry about Mrs. Holloway now. I will tell her what happened and it will be okay,” he answered.  “Try to call your family now. They should pick you up as soon as possible because obviously you can’t walk with that injury.”

Louis sighed. He took out his phone and tried to call his mum and Carol several times, without success. “What now?” Louis asked clueless.

“I’ll drive you to the doctor’s,” Harry suggested and put his and Louis’ rucksack on his shoulders.


	12. At the doctor's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry drives Louis to the doctor's. He's seriously injured and has to walk on crutches.

Louis stayed completely silent during the drive. It wasn’t just because of his injury but also because Mr. Styles intimidated him with his presence alone. After about ten minutes, the man stopped the car in front of a small brick building.

“Here we are.” He helped Louis to get out of the car and lead him into the doctor’s office.

Mr. Styles greeted the nurse who sat behind the counter. “Oh, Harry! Good afternoon! You haven’t been here for ages. What’s the reason for your visit?”

Harry slightly touched Louis’ back. “This is my student, Louis. He couldn’t contact his family so I brought him here because it’s urgent.”

The nurse nodded and turned toward Louis. “What’s your name dear?” she asked.

“Louis Tomlinson,” Louis replied.

She started to type something into her computer. “I’m new in Holmes Chapel,” Louis added. “I haven’t seen a doctor since we’ve moved here.” Louis exhaled audibly because the pain took over again.

The nurse nodded, looked at Harry and then back at Louis again. “So you’re a new patient,” she said. “I’m really sorry love but before the doctor can examine you, you have to fill in this questionnaire. We’d usually need your parents to sign this when you come here for the first time,” the nurse explained. “You know, we usually don't treat persons under 18 without a parental signature but I’ll make an exception today because I can see you’re in pain.” She passed Louis a yellow paper and a pen. “Here you are."

Harry and Louis sat down at a small table next to the counter. While Louis was filling in the questionnaire, the nurse came to the table. “Harry, could you sign the questionnaire instead of his parents, please? There’s no risk. As his teacher, you’re in a special position.” Harry nodded. “I’ll get in touch with the parents later but we need a signature of an adult now.”

“Of course I will,” Harry answered.

Louis did his best to fill in the questionnaire. When he wrote down his dad’s name, he got sad. His hand was shaking as he wrote his name down: Troy Tomlinson.

After some minutes Louis was called out by a nurse who led him into a treatment room. It didn’t take long until the doctor entered too. He was an older man with almost grey hair, round glasses and a nice smile.

“I’m Dr. Rankey,” he said and reached out his hand to Louis.

“Louis Tomlinson.” The boy shook the doctor’s hand. “My foot hurts so much, doctor. Could you please give me some painkillers?”

“I can’t give you painkillers yet, I’m sorry. First I have to find out what you’re suffering from,” the doctor explained and sat down on a stool. “Tell me what happened to you.”

Louis told the doctor the whole story. “Let’s have a look. It will probably be painful but I have to touch your foot to figure out what’s wrong. Just be prepared,” the doctor said as he started to examine Louis’ foot. Louis pressed his fist against his forehead to stand the tremendous pain.

“I suppose your ankle could be broken or you could have a sprain. Your ligaments could be torn or strained too. I can’t figure it out exactly,” the doctor explained. “To be absolutely sure, we have to x-ray it.”

After the picture was taken, Louis had to wait until Dr. Rankey came back. “Look, Louis. That’s your ankle. It’s definitely not broken and it’s not a sprain. That’s the good news.” The doctor rearranged his glasses. “But you have twisted your ankle massively what caused your ligaments to strain. Luckily they’re not torn,” he said. “I know it’s painful though your injury isn’t that bad.”

Dr. Rankey turned around and took some medicine out of a drawer. He handed Louis two white pills and a glass of water. “These are painkillers. You can take one or both, depending on how much pain you can stand.”

Louis nodded, thanked the doctor and took one pill first.

“I’ll put a pressure bandage on now,” Dr. Rankey said while he gathered everything he needed. “The bandage will help to keep your foot still,” the doctor explained. “You shouldn’t move or put weight on it. If you’re lucky, your ligaments will recover in a few weeks.”

Louis nodded. He still suffered because the pills didn’t kick in that quickly.

“Would you like to choose the color of your bandage?” Dr. Rankey asked Louis and pulled several colored bandages out of the drawer next to him. Louis pointed at a blue one.

“I’m sure it will probably hurt massively, grit your teeth now,” the doctor warned as he started to put the bandage around Louis’ foot carefully.

How right he was. Dr. Rankey passed Louis crutches and gave him instructions how to behave during the next weeks. Then he pulled a small package of pills out of a drawer.

“You’ll probably need the painkillers during the next days,” he suggested. “Don’t take more than four pills a day because they’re very strong.”

The doctor said goodbye to Louis and Louis returned to Harry.

 


	13. Girlfriend Eleanor?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor visits Louis in the evening. Every one can see that Eleanor and Louis are very close to each other and Louis' mum is not the first person who thinks they are a couple. Jay invites Eleanor for dinner and asks Louis, if they're a couple. Later in the evening, Louis questions the feelings he has towards his attractive teacher. He doesn't know these feelings, he never had them towards his ex-girlfriends. Why?

It took Louis minutes to get up the stairs to the front door because the crutches were obstructing his movements and Louis couldn’t handle them properly. When he finally managed to step into the narrow corridor of his temporary home, he was already exhausted. He went in the kitchen to grab some food and discovered a note on the table.

_"We went to the playground this afternoon. There’s some pizza left in the oven. If you like come over to Park Road. If you’re too tired just stay at home and relax. Love you, Mum."_

Louis didn’t want to go anywhere because of his injury. The pain was still there but due to the pills not as strong as it had been hours ago. He took some pizza out of the oven and sat down in front of the TV. Suddenly, his mobile buzzed.

_Eleanor: What are you doing? I’m bored._  
Louis: Watching football, had a little accident at school.  
Eleanor: What happened? Can I come over to your place?  
Louis: Come over, I’ll tell you then.

When he was about to put the phone away, Louis thought of Brandon and Joshua. He wondered why Brandon had threatened him because of Eleanor. They weren’t her friends and at the same time she had never talked to him about Brandon. Louis couldn’t imagine that she would ever spend time with them, never in a million years. His thoughts got interrupted when the doorbell rang.

Eleanor greeted Louis and gave him a hug. Her curly long hair played around her face and her eyes were sparkling. “So please tell me what happened?” she asked as she pointed at the bandage.

“I stumbled over a few branches and fell because I was in a hurry,” Louis answered while Eleanor closed the door. “My ligaments are strained, that’s all.”

Eleanor put her hand onto Louis’ shoulder. “Does it hurt now?”

“It still does although I took painkillers one hour ago or so.”

Eleanor nodded. “If you need any help just tell me, okay?”

“Thank you,” Louis replied and gave her a kiss on the cheek what made her smile.

Suddenly they heard voices from the yard. Eleanor ran over to the window and pushed the curtain away. “There are your sisters and your mum!” she yelled and ran out of the room.

“Eleanor!” the twins yelled happily and pulled her into a long hug. Especially Daisy and Phoebe had taken Eleanor into their hearts right away. When she walked back into the living room, she held the twins’ hands. The rest of the family followed shortly afterwards.

“What is this?" Fizzy yelled shocked when she saw the bandage.

“I fell and got my ligaments strained,” her brother explained simply.

When Jay and Carol saw Louis, they were very worried. Louis told them what had happened to him, that he went to the doctor’s and what he said about his injury. After his mum and aunt calmed down, they asked Eleanor if she would like to stay for dinner. Everyone was happy this evening so it turned out to be a very lovely one with a lot of laughter and tasty food. After Eleanor left, Louis helped his mum in the kitchen.

“Eleanor is a nice girl Louis,” she remarked.

Louis nodded. “Yeah, she is actually.”

“Are you . . . ,” his mum asked with a certain undertone and gesticulated with her hands to underline what she wanted to express.

He knew what his mum was referring to - he hated it. “Are we what, a couple?” Louis asked, frowning. “Oh no Mum, we’re not. Just because we get along quite well it’s not automatically said that we’re a couple.”

“Sorry Louis, it wasn’t my intention to annoy you," she answered quietly. "I just wanted to tell you that I like her a lot."

“It’s fine. I’m just stressed out because everyone’s assuming that we’re in a relationship.” He caressed his mum’s back slightly. “But we’re just very close friends,” Louis pointed out. “Sorry for raising my voice. I didn’t mean it that mean."

Later in the evening, Louis laid down on his bed. He crossed his arms behind his head and thought of what had happened during the day. He remembered how comfortable he felt when he was with Mr. Styles. How his curls fell into his face, how calming his voice was. The warm feeling in the pit of his stomach and a heat wave rushed through his body. Louis had never had such feelings towards a guy before and if he was honest to himself, he didn’t know what to think of it.

 


	14. ex-girlfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was always something missing, wasn't it?

Louis hadn’t been interested in girls until he was almost fifteen years old. He always had a lot of female friends but never a proper girlfriend. Football and skateboarding were always more important to him than girls. On his birthday party, Louis got together with Jenny who was a nice girl he knew from school. Jenny and Louis were quite shy and inexperienced in sex issues so maybe that was the reason why they never practiced more than kissing and cuddling.

“It’s normal to be insecure,” Stan used to say to Louis back then. “The most important thing is not to put you under pressure and in the end it will happen because the time was right and it will be completely fine.”

Maybe he was right but somehow Louis wasn’t satisfied. Jenny and Louis were dating for almost two months until Louis broke up with her because he felt their relationship was only a deeper friendship. He had never had a girlfriend before but this thing didn’t feel right. He only went out on two dates after Jenny. The dates just kind of happened because the girls asked him out and he just didn’t want to say no.

After one year without a girlfriend, Stan wanted to introduce Louis to Danielle. “You have to get to know her. She looks great and the best thing is she likes you,” Stan said with a wink. “That girl is cool as fuck. Dani likes skateboarding too and she’s not as boring as Jenny. Plus, she’s pretty popular at school.”

Louis didn't want to date at that time so he refused to meet her at first but Stan persuaded him for weeks until he finally gave in. To Louis’ surprise he had to admit that their first date was nicer than he had expected it to be actually. They got along quite well, went skateboarding and ended up eating fries and burgers at Mc Donald’s. Louis had to admit that Stan was right about what he said about the older girl. Danielle was full of energy, a complete contrast to Jenny. Not that Louis thought Jenny had been boring but it was different with Danielle. She was two years older than Louis, self-confident and sassier than he had thought a girl could ever be. They spent most of the time at the skate park next to her house where they tried to impress little kids for fun and practiced new moves. Louis’ male friends envied him because he spent so much time with Danielle and Stan encouraged his friend to start a relationship with her.

“She wants you, can’t you see that?” Stan said to his friend as they were talking about her. “She likes you so much and you can’t tell me that you don’t like her either. You’re spending most of your free time with her. You’re just afraid, that’s all.”

Maybe Stan was right. Louis was afraid that the relationship with Danielle could also go wrong just like it had happened with Jenny, but then he finally forced himself to ask her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. Spending time with Danielle was totally fun. They both liked the same type of movies, they loved to eat fast food and Louis could laugh for hours about her silly jokes she had learned from her older brothers. Everything was fine until it came to intimacy. This time it wasn’t as easy for Louis as it was with Jenny. Danielle was more mature and had more sexual experience in contrast to his first girlfriend who had practically none. Danielle wasn’t shy at all when it came to sex but she was also very patient with Louis when he told her about his lack of experience and his fears.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on with me,” Louis said to his girlfriend when they were in bed.

Danielle held Louis tight in her arms and massaged his scalp slowly. “You’re new to these things baby, don’t worry. I love you and I’ll give you as much time as you need,” she answered and leaned in for a kiss. “At first I was afraid of it too but now I love sex and you’ll see that you’ll love it too.”

Her words reassured Louis a little bit and he thought she could be right. Maybe he was just afraid and everything would be fine after all. But no matter how hard he tried, it didn't get better. Although Danielle had a beautiful toned body, Louis felt that he wasn't sexually attracted to her but he couldn’t find an explanation why he felt that way. Cuddles and kisses were okay for Louis and he tried to relax and enjoy Danielle’s touch where no other person had ever touched him before but he just couldn’t. Louis only became intimate with her because he wanted her to feel good, but it was never as pleasant for him as it should have been. There were no butterflies in his stomach when they kissed or touched, none. In the beginning, Louis thought that was normal and that he would get used to everything but the more time passed, the more insecure and puzzled Louis got about this whole situation.

“The more experience you gain the more you will love it.” Danielle used to say. “And you’ll gain a lot during the next weeks, trust me.”

Her words should have reassured Louis but they caused even more pressure. The result was that Louis couldn’t get a boner easily, no matter what she was trying. In the end the boy tried to avoid sexual actions as much as possible. He did all that because Louis really liked Danielle and he didn't want to lose or hurt her. It was impossible for him to tell her how uncomfortable he really felt when they got intimate. Louis came up with different excuses to avoid sexual actions and to his surprise, it worked well during the first months but then it got worse. Danielle wasn't satisfied anymore and in the end, Louis felt like he needed to vomit. He just wanted everything to stop. From that day on, he knew it was only a matter of time until everything would collapse. Danielle made clear that she couldn’t be in a relationship without sex. After a few more days the girl’s patience came to an end.

“I’m sorry Louis, but a relationship doesn’t only consist of watching movies and skateboarding,” she said frustrated and left.

Louis was sad because he liked her a lot but at the same time he felt relieved that the pressure was taken from him. Since then, Louis had never had a proper relationship again and he didn’t question it further.

 


	15. Am I different?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis calls his best friend Stan because he is confused. What is he feeling? Why does his teacher affect him that much? Louis admits that he likes his teacher and that he was feeling something strange when he was physically close to Stan. Louis starts thinking about himself. What's wrong with him? Is he different than other boys? Might he be gay? But being gay isn't normal, is it? Other people are gay, not Louis.

_Louis: Stan, do you think I’m different?_  
_Stan: Hi Louis! Of course you are! That’s why you’re my best friend!_  
_Louis: Thanks. But it’s not that. I think I feel different._  
_Stan: What do you mean?_  
_Louis: I met someone today and can’t stop thinking of this person._  
_Stan: But that’s cool! What’s her name?_  
_Louis: Harry Styles_.

After the last message was sent it didn’t even take one minute until Louis’ mobile rang.

“Do you want to talk?”

Louis sighted. “Yeah, maybe it would make me feel a little bit better.”

“You don’t need to, I was just wondering . . . “ Stan answered but Louis interrupted him.

“Stan, I’m confused. I don’t know what’s going on with me.” Louis paused. “It’s not easy for me to talk about it, you know.”

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to."

“No, I want to talk.”

“Okay. Go on and tell me what’s up.”

Louis took a deep breath before he begun to speak again. “Promise that you won’t laugh at me,” Louis said seriously while he sat down on his bed.

“I would never do that.”

“Okay,” the boy said quietly. “Do you remember the last day we saw each other? When you were at my house?” Louis asked his friend without even waiting for an answer. “It was so nice to have you around and it was just . . . just like . . .” he stammered. “I thought . . . uhm . . . I thought what I felt was nothing, something best friends . . . you know, best friends share only. And today I met him and . . . and I experienced the same feeling again but . . . uhm . . . much more intense. It’s such a weird . . . such a weird feeling I never knew before. It wasn’t bad at all but . . . it was unknown and strange at the same time.” Louis was desperate. “I mean, I’m not sure but . . . uhm . . . what if I’m . . . ,” Louis couldn’t finish his sentence because he felt a lump building in his throat. He couldn’t talk anymore, he just couldn’t.

Stan stayed quiet for a few seconds before he continued. “What makes you believe you might be into boys?’ Stan asked directly what made Louis blush furiously. Stan’s words caused the boys’ chest to narrow and his pulse quickened. He was lost in thought.

“Louis?” Stan asked.

“Uhm . . . sorry, I . . . I don’t know exactly," he replied barely audible. “It’s just . . . you know, when . . . when I saw him . . . something happened but . . . I don't know how to describe it,” Louis nearly whispered. “It was such a warm feeling.”

Stan didn't say anything.

“Do you hate me now?’ Louis asked.

“Louis," Stan said seriously. "Of course I don’t hate you. Why should I? To be honest, I’ve already thought about you . . . being _different_."

Louis was thankful Stan didn’t say the word. “Why?” he asked barely audible while he was wiping a little tear away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Do you remember when you were together with Jenny?”

Louis nodded although Stan couldn’t see it.

“You told me that your relationship felt like a stronger friendship and you said you didn’t feel anything special when you kissed and stuff.”

Louis nodded again.

“Then you were together with Danielle. Do you remember how she looked like? She was almost everybody’s crush, Louis. She wanted to be with you. You told me that you didn’t enjoy having sex with her although she was such a hot babe. You were relieved when she broke up although you liked her a lot.”

Stan was so right.

“And do you remember when we went to our attic to look at these porn magazines I found in my brother’s drawer?”

Stan laughed and so did Louis. The memory of that day was still present.

“Oh god, I remember that. He was quite angry with you when he found out,” Louis chuckled.

“He was, oh hell yes, he was!” Stan laughed but then his voice got serious again. “But that’s not the point. The point is that you said to me that you . . ."

“Yes, yes, I remember. Don’t say it, please don’t.” Louis felt uncomfortable. It was quiet for a few seconds.

“What am I supposed to do now?” the boy mumbled.

“I can’t tell you what to do, Lou. Just try to find out who or what you like.”

“To be honest, I haven’t told you the worst thing yet.” Louis exhaled loudly.

“What is it? Is he into girls?" Stan asked a little bit amused.

“I don’t know what he is but he’s not just a normal guy, that’s the problem.” Louis paused again. “This is a nightmare! I don’t know who I am, I don’t know how it will ever be okay and I just don’t know what to do! Stan, I’m so confused!" Louis was close to tears.

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s a teacher, Stan. He's a fucking teacher!”

“Are you serious?”

“Do you think it is a joke?” Louis told his friend what happened in the afternoon.

“Whenever you need someone to talk, call me,” Stan simply offered before they said goodbye.

Louis put his phone away and snuggled into his covers. The rain was drumming against the skylight and Louis just stared at the falling raindrops. He started thinking about the phone call and Stan’s words. What if he really wasn’t normal? What if he wasn’t into girls at all? How could he find out that he was or wasn’t or whatever? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about his teacher? Louis felt so lost. Maybe it was just a temporal feeling that would go away soon. It had to be because he wasn’t gay. Gay. This word caused Louis chest pains, literally. Other people were gay, but not him. It wasn’t normal to be a boy who’s attracted to other males and this was a fact. What if this was just a weird phase Louis was going through? Wasn’t it normal for students to have crushes on their teachers all the time? Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal really. It had happened to friends of Louis before. The thoughts let Louis forget about his ankle and he managed to fall asleep soon as he was crying into his pillows.

Louis spent the weekend at home. Eleanor came over on Saturday afternoon and they ended up watching “Arielle the little mermaid” with Louis’ twin sisters. Eleanor stayed for dinner again and it was a nice evening with her, as usual. It was hard for Louis not to think of Mr. Styles although he tried to distract himself as good as he could.

 


	16. Admission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor admits that she wants more from Louis but Louis rejects her.

On Monday morning Louis woke up very early because of the pain in his ankle. The painkillers he had taken the other night weren’t helping anymore so he got up to take another pill. Although two days had already passed, the pain was still intense. Louis’ morning routine was a torture with the bandaged foot and everything took him so much longer than usual. The boy was totally exhausted when he left the house and limped over to the nearest bus stop.

In the bus, Louis leaned his head against the misty window and got lost in thought. He was puzzled because of the conversation with Stan and unsure his sexuality. He didn’t want to be gay. He wanted to be straight, just as everybody else.

“What happened to your foot, Louis?” Nathan asked him worried when he saw Louis limping across the school yard.

“I fell and injured my ligaments. I’m an invalid now and everyone has to be nice to me.” The boy smirked and adjusted his crutches.

Nathan let out a short laugh. “Yeah, so you can be sure to have all the girls’ attention all the time,” he said jokingly and patted Louis’ shoulder. “Admit that you’ve done it on purpose.”

“That was the plan,” Louis answered with a smile.

When the boys entered the large hallway, Chloe and Lauren came running towards them. “Good morning boys! We’ve been waiting for you!” Chloe shouted happily.

”Eleanor in particular," Lauren whispered into Louis’ ear and winked. Louis gave Lauren a strange look but decided not to react to her weird comment.

“Oh my god Louis, what happened to you?!” Chloe yelled and pointed at the bandage.

“I fell and hurt my ligaments,” Louis answered. “I should really record that sentence on tape so I won’t have to repeat it to everybody over and over again.”

“Does it hurt?” Lauren asked worried.

“It does. That’s why I’m taking painkillers.”

“Oh look, there’s Eleanor!” the girl yelled and waved at her friend who was just walking towards the group. Eleanor held two plastic cups in her hands.

“Hey guys, hi Lou!” the girl shouted and gave Louis a quick kiss on his cheek. Lauren winked at Louis again but he didn’t respond to her allusion. “Do you feel any better today?” she asked Louis.

“It still hurts immensely without painkillers.”

Eleanor gave him a pitiful look. “At least I got you a hot chocolate as a compensation.” She held up one of the cups she had brought with her.

“Oh thanks, that’s lovely El,” Louis smiled and kissed her cheek as a thank you.

“Why haven’t you brought one for me too?” Nathan asked amused but still serious, waving his hands in front of Eleanor.

“Oh sorry I didn’t know that you . . . ”

He put his hand onto the girl's shoulder and smiled at her. “It was just a joke.” He winked. “You know, if I was a girl I’d also fall for Louis,” he whispered into her ear. Eleanor blushed slightly at Nathan’s words and gave him a small nudge.

“Come on girls, we should go and find Mary. She wanted to show us her project before school starts,” Nathan said and pulled Chloe away. Lauren followed and left Eleanor and Louis behind.

The friends walked towards the locker area together but Eleanor seemed intimidated for no reason. Nathan was just joking, wasn’t he? Of course Louis had noticed Eleanor and him being very close but it wasn’t different since they had met weeks ago. It all happened naturally so Louis never questioned it. Why should he? He felt quite comfortable around Eleanor and enjoyed her company a lot as she was a great friend and a lovely girl. When Louis looked at her, he noticed that something was wrong this morning. She wasn’t smiling or fooling around as she used to do when they were alone. Her face was almost sad? Could it really be true that she had feelings for Louis?

_"You know, if I was a girl I’d also fall for Louis."_

Nathan’s words wouldn’t leave Louis’ mind. When they had almost reached the lockers, Eleanor suddenly stopped walking. She ran her fingers through her curly hair while she was nervously biting her lip. There was a noticeable tension between them but Louis couldn’t quite figure it completely. Eleanor didn’t look Louis in the eyes but tried to take his hand instead. Louis let her do so.

“Lou, I . . . I just don’t know how to say this,” she said timidly. “It’s true what Nathan said." Eleanor bit her lip again, still trying to avoid eye contact with her best friend. “I’ve got feelings for you, Louis,” she added quietly. A little tear ran down her cheek.

Her words shocked Louis so much that he didn’t know what to say. “I’ve tried to come close to you but you didn’t notice. I want to be with you, only you.” Eleanor's voice was barely audible when she finally managed to look into her friend’s eyes for a short moment.

Louis couldn’t process Eleanor’s words. He was unsure what to do or say so he gave her a hug. She buried her face into his neck and started crying immediately. The tears wet Louis’ neck, her sobs were heartbreaking. “Don’t cry," Louis said calmly as he felt her body trembling against his.

“I love you too but . . . maybe in another way," Louis whispered quietly against her hair.

Eleanor freed herself from Louis’ embrace, took one step back and looked at him, sadness clearly in her eyes.

“I knew it,” she sobbed and ran away.

“No, don’t Eleanor! Come back!” Louis yelled but she didn’t turn around. “Eleanor!”

Louis would have followed her but if he could but with the crutches, it was impossible for him. Even if he had tried he would have been too slow. Louis waited a few minutes but as it was clear that the girl wouldn't come back, he took some books out of his locker and slowly walked to the classroom.

The teacher believed Louis that he was late because of his injury and didn’t say anything about it. When the boy walked over to his desk in the back of the classroom, he noticed Eleanor wasn’t there. He felt very uncomfortable and kind of guilty. The next time Louis saw his friend at lunch time. She was sitting in the cafeteria with the other girls. Even if he was far away, Louis could tell that she was crying. He had never seen Eleanor crying before and it was difficult for him to handle it. Should he walk over and talk to her? He didn’t want her to think he was a coward in the end. Just when Louis was approaching the girls, Lauren gave him a sign to stay away. Just before the next lesson started, Louis saw Eleanor standing next to a huge black board near the classroom. She didn’t react when he passed her so Louis stopped and turned towards the girl.

“I’m sorry, El. If you need to talk just call me, okay?” he said but Eleanor didn’t react at all.

 


	17. Brandon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brandon notices that Eleanor is crying. He walks over to Louis and threatens him again. Eleanor asks Brandon to stop and Louis thinks Eleanor would talk to him again, but she still doesn't want to talk to him.

While the class waited for Mrs. Holloway, Louis stared out of the window. The current situation with Eleanor made him sad and he didn’t know how to help her.

“Just give her some time and everything will be fine,” Nathan told his friend but Louis didn't believe if it would be so easy. 

After another ten minutes Nathan decided to go to the staffroom and look for Mrs. Holloway. He didn’t get any other information so he returned to the class again. The girls were with Eleanor and talked to her. She seemed devastated. It was hard for Louis to see her suffering like this because he knew that he had hurt her. He was aware of the fact that she’d probably hate him, but even if that should be the consequence Louis would be facing, he just couldn’t say that he wanted to date her or be her boyfriend because he absolutely didn’t feel like it. This thought suddenly brought up his conversation with Stan he had the other night and it made Louis think about himself again. Everything his friend said was true. Stan knew Louis better than anyone else. Most of Louis’ friends in Doncaster were girls but Louis never wanted to date them nor have sex with any them. Of course they hugged and cuddled a lot but that all just happened because of their close friendship. Did that indicate Louis was gay? Maybe there was another reason he wasn’t aware or maybe he just wasn’t ready for a proper relationship? Louis thoughts were messed up and he felt so lost again. While he was thinking about his current situation, Brandon walked into the room. He leaned against the door frame at first but when he saw Eleanor crying he came directly over to Louis.

“I hope she isn’t crying because of you, dickhead,” Brandon hissed, his face only inches away from Louis’.

The sound of his voice let Louis’ pulse quicken rapidly and a lump built in his throat.

“If I should find out it was your fault, I’ll smash your pretty face into pieces.” He slammed his fist onto the desk so that everyone around stopped talking. Louis flinched. He tried to move away from the massive guy. Brandon’s eyes glared at the boy while he rubbed over his knuckles.

“Leave him alone, please!” a girl's voice said. It was Eleanor.

Brandon just turned around but remained quiet. He gave Louis another despised look, took out a cigarette of his trousers and went off the room without a saying word.

Louis let out a breath he was holding. He wanted to thank Eleanor but she didn't look at him. Nathan gave his friend a questioning look but Louis only shook his head and made a gesture. He didn’t want to talk about Brandon. The boy crossed his arms on the table, put his head onto them and closed his eyes. After some time he felt how his body relaxed and the noises of the environment were slowly fading.


	18. The new teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis can't believe it: Mr. Styles will deputize for Mrs. Holloway because she got injured in an accident.

Louis woke up with a start. First, he didn’t know where he was because everything was blurry during the first seconds. Louis opened his eyes but the bright light was blinding him.

“Louis, are you okay?” a male voice asked.

A shiver went up and down Louis’ spine. This voice was familiar, too familiar. The boy lifted his head from the table and turned it to the right slowly. Those black jeans, the black shirt, the silver necklace. Louis mouthed a barely audible “Oh my God,” while his brain was still busy processing what his eyes saw. Mr. Styles stood next to him. What? Why was he here? Louis' heartbeat increased quickly and it almost felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest when Mr. Styles' green eyes met Louis'.

“Sorry . . . I . . . uhm, I . . . I don't know why . . . ” Louis stammered nervously.

His teacher was so close to him that he could smell his perfume, again. The man just smiled at the boy and turned around. Louis’ eyes followed every movement he made as he walked back to his desk.

“I think you will quickly adapt to the new situation,” the teacher said.

Louis didn’t know what he was talking about. “What’s going on?” he whispered toward Nathan. Nathan tried to mouth some words to him but it was difficult to understand.

“I will deputize for Mrs. Holloway since she had an accident and won’t be able to teach for the next few months,” Mr. Styles explained.

Louis leaned back on his chair, covered his face with the palms of his hands and exhaled loudly. This couldn’t be true.

After class Nathan came to Louis, clearly confused. “Where do you know him from? And why does he know you?”

Nathan pulled a questioning face and  sat down on Louis’ desk.

“I had detention on Friday and he was there,” Louis tried to avoid eye contact with Nathan.

“I see,” his friend answered amused, patted Louis’ back and slipped off the table.


	19. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is this feeling deep inside of him? Louis can't stop thinking of his teacher and he can't even talk about it with his friends. Of course all girls love the beautiful and kind man. But Louis wants more. He doesn't want to look at him and he doesn't want to fantasize about him. Louis needs to be physically close to Mr. Styles.

Friday was the end of a stressful week for Louis. His foot still hurt and it had been difficult for him to walk properly on the crutches. Despite his personal struggles, Louis had so much work to do for school that he found himself occupied during the whole week. As if that wasn’t enough, his little sister Phoebe found an old picture of their dad in one of her jacket pockets. A few minutes later, Louis and his sisters were sitting on his bed, hugging each other, covered in tears. They tried to call their dad a few times but he didn’t pick up the phone nor did he answer all the messages the siblings had left on his mailbox.

As much as Louis tried to forget about Mr. Styles, he couldn’t. The man was on his mind day and night. The mere thought of his teacher let Louis’ stomach twist and let a warm feeling crawl up his body. This strange feeling got worse every time Louis saw his teacher at school, let alone when he was talking to him. While the girls were able to express their affection towards Harry freely, Louis had to hide his feelings. His biggest fear was that someone could find out about it so he tried to stay as reserved as possible. Louis was embarrassed because of his feelings towards the teacher and he wasn’t even sure if his feelings were real or if he was only trying to escape his other problems.

“Oh my god Lou, look at him he’s so sexy! His hair and his clothes, this body! Everything about him is just stunning!” Chloe said with sparkling eyes.

“What a shame that he’s our teacher. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to learn something during his classes because he’s going to distract me only by his presence,” Lauren added.

If they only knew how Louis felt about him. Mr. Styles was soon named the sexiest and best looking teacher among the students which didn’t surprise Louis.

The feelings and thoughts Louis had developed toward Mr. Styles scared him and he had absolutely no idea why it was that intense. The more time passed, the more Louis noticed that he wanted to be physically close to him. The boy remembered how his touch on his knee felt, how he smelled, how beautiful his smile was. Louis just wanted to be close to him without any other people around them. If he was honest to himself, he kind of missed his teacher when he wasn’t around. These feelings were a new experience for Louis. The boy had a lot of time to think about what was going on because of his injury. Maybe he was only trying to escape the burn in his heart because his dad had left? Louis asked himself this question over and over again but he couldn’t find the right answer.

Nathan’s party should start later this afternoon, so Louis still had some time left to take a nap. When he was half asleep, the buzzing of his phone distracted him.

 _Eleanor: I’m sorry. :(_  
_Louis: Why?_  
_Eleanor: I think I might have overreacted this morning. I miss you._  
_Louis: Don’t worry. I miss you too._  
_Eleanor: Friends again?_  
_Louis: Sure!_  
_Eleanor: Do you want me to pick you up for the party tonight?_  
_Louis: Of course!_  
_Eleanor: Fine! I’ll be at your house around 8_  
_Louis: :)_

 


	20. Unrequited feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor messages Louis and pretends not to have feelings for him. They go to the party together and Eleanor cuddles up against Louis while they're watching a movie. Louis is happy to have his friend back. He doesn't make up his mind about her intenstions. When Eleanor helps Louis to get up the stairs because of his crutches, she tries to kiss him again. Louis is baffled and rejects his friend for the second time. Eleanor is upset and runs away. Louis doesn't know what to do so he calls Stan. He advises him to tell Eleanor the truth about his sexuality but Louis doesn't want to talk about it. Louis worries about his friend and manages to talk to her again. Eleanor tells Louis how she feels about her but her honesty doesn't change Louis' opinion.

When Eleanor came to pick up Louis, the strange tension between them was gone. Luckily she was as sweet as she used to be before the incident at school and they didn’t discuss it further.

Nathan’s house was decorated with fairy lights, even the terrace and the garden were full of paper laterns and colored light chains. Although it was quite cold, the group spent a lot of time outside, wrapped in jackets, thick jumpers and blankets. The best thing was the huge grill in the garden. Louis had never thought that a barbecue in the cold could be fun but it really was. The atmosphere was relaxed but it shouldn’t last long.

After the barbecue, Louis and Eleanor decided to watch a movie with some of their friends. Eleanor sat down next to her friend. Maybe it was true that she had overreacted at school although the boy still couldn’t understand why. Soon, Eleanor nuzzled closer and put her head onto Louis’ chest. It was a nice feeling that Eleanor was physically close to him again so the boy put his arm around her waist.

“Have you changed your mind?” Nathan whispered into Louis’ ear but Louis just gave him a small nudge.

“That has nothing to do with it,” Louis whispered back. “Stop being jealous.”

Nathan laughed out loudly but quickly covered his mouth with his hand. Louis shook his head and let out a small chuckle.

When Louis needed to go to the toilet, Eleanor offered her help because Louis had to climb up many stairs. When they walked along corridor, Eleanor suddenly stopped walking again, turned toward Louis and put her hands on his waist. The boy was caught off guard, leaning against the wall as she moved closer and kissed him on the mouth. Louis was totally baffled by Eleanor’s actions and put his free hand on her shoulders to push her away.

“What are you doing?” Louis yelped and looked at her with his eyes wide open.

She moved back, bit her lip nervously and looked at the floor.

“I love you, Louis,” she sobbed, turned around and ran down the stairs.

“Eleanor!” Louis yelled but she didn’t turn around, just like the last time. This moment felt like a déja-vu. He heard the front door shut. It took him some time to realize why Eleanor probably wanted to be close to him all the time this evening. How stupid it was of Louis to think that she was okay. Louis was afraid that their friendship would never be the same again. After he went to the toilet he sat down in an empty room upstairs and called Stan.

“Hey Lou what’s up?” Stan asked surprised.

“I’m at a party right now and Eleanor tried to kiss me again!” Louis paused. “She had already tried at school but then she told me that she overreacted and . . . I just . . . I don’t know I don’t know what to do.”

Stan laughed out loudly. “Oh Louis, you’re still a girls’ magnet, aren’t you? What have you done to her that she wanted to kiss you?”

“Stan, please stop making fun of me,” Louis said seriously. “I haven’t done anything. She helped me to get upstairs because I can’t walk properly on my crutches and then she pressed me against a wall and kissed me. The best thing is that she ran away after I tried to talk to her.”

“What do you consider to do now?”

Louis made a gesture with his hand although Stan couldn’t see it. “I don’t know. Everything got so complicated because of her,” he muttered.

“What’s complicated?”

“Stan! Eleanor is one of my best friends here and she has a crush on me! She tried to kiss me twice and ran away both times!” Louis almost yelled because he was so desperate. “That’s not easy for me, not at all! I want to keep her as a friend but I don't want a relationship with her!”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Yes, of course,” Louis replied with a sigh. “Sorry for raising my voice. This whole situation is just too much for me, you know.”

“It’s okay,” Stan said. “Do you remember our last conversation?”

There was silence.

“Louis? Are you still there?”

“I’m here,” Louis answered quickly.

Stan cleared his throat. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

How right he was. “It’s just . . . I don’t know. It’s so weird, everything’s so different and I’m confused.”

“Maybe you should talk to Eleanor,” Stan suggested. “You should be honest with her.”

“What? No! You can’t be serious!” Louis yelled at his friend again. “I still don’t know what’s going on with me and you’re telling me I should go and tell her that maybe I’m . . . ” The word got stuck in Louis’ throat and his voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

“Louis, if you don’t tell her the truth she might think you don’t like her, you know? That’s what I was thinking about. I mean, you told me she’s important to you."

Louis sighted. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m afraid to tell her, I’m not even sure myself. What should I say? I’m puzzled! Stan, I’m . . . I'm completely puzzled about this. She told me she loves me, so what could her reaction be like if I told her I was . . . uhm . . .  I could possibly be . . .  well . . . gay maybe . . . . I mean . . . .”

“But Lou, you have told me several times that she’s one of your best friends there. If you’re important to her she will understand, even if it probably won’t be exactly in that second you tell her.”

Louis cleared his throat. “And what if others find out about it? I mean as I told you, I’m not sure about anything yet.” Louis’ voice was trembled. He bit his lip to hold back the tears that were burning in the corner of his eyes.

“It must be difficult for you to make a decision,” Stan said. “But I can’t tell you what to do, I’m sorry. This is something you have to find out on your own."

“But Stan, how can I find out if I’m really gay? How can I be sure? I’ve never paid special attention to boys because it never was an issue for me. How am I supposed to know?”

“Listen to your heart and don’t try to restrain your feelings, maybe.”

“That sounds so easy,” Louis sighted.

“I know,” Stan answered with a sigh but then he came up with an idea.

After the call Louis wanted to find Eleanor. The situation was complicated but Stan was right. She was one of his best friends and he cared for her so she had the right to know the truth. What if something happened to her? Louis tried to call his friend but she didn’t respond. Then the boy sent her a message.

After he had sent the message, Louis put his phone away. Why couldn’t this be a simple, funny night? The humming sounds calmed Louis down a little and he let himself fall backward on the huge bed where he nearly fell asleep. After a while, he noticed a light knock on the door, followed by a light creak. Although it was dark in the room he could recognize Eleanor who stepped into the room.

Louis got up and crossed his legs. “I’m glad you’re here,” Louis said and patted the space next to him before he switched on the little lamp on the bedside table.

Eleanor walked toward the bed and sat down next to Louis. She pushed her hair back and then wiped her eyes. Now, that she was that close, Louis noticed that she must have cried a lot. The girl sat there like a picture of misery. That's why Louis reached out for her and Eleanor just let herself fall into Louis’ arms and cried bitterly.

Louis held her close for a while. He loved that girl so much but just not the way she wanted him to. Why was everything so complicated? Eleanor’s body shivered and her tears soaked the fabric of Louis’ shirt.

After a few minutes she calmed down a little bit and Louis pulled his arms away from her. Eleanor’s eyes were red, her make-up was smeared but she still looked lovely. The boy swallowed and twisted his fingers nervously. This situation was very uncomfortable for him and he just didn’t know how to start the conversation he definitely wanted to have with his friend.

“El, please tell me what you want me to know. You can also ask me whatever you want to but please, talk to me.”

A little tear ran down her cheek. She looked fragile, heartbroken and in that moment Louis realized again how wonderful she was. Her skin was very smooth, her face beautiful. Without a doubt she was pretty from the outside and the inside, she really was. But nevertheless, Louis just didn’t feel what Eleanor wanted him to feel. Wasn’t that proof enough for him?

“Louis, I liked you from the beginning,” the girl finally broke the silence. “You were so funny and nice and I thought it would be cool to have you as my friend. And every time we met, I was happy, I felt good and happy around you. I felt close to you Louis and . . . “

Eleanor couldn’t finish her sentence because she started crying again. She pushed her hair behind her ear nervously. “I’m sorry, I just can’t control it.”

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine,” Louis tried to calm her.

“I think I have a crush on you,” Eleanor sobbed.

She tried so hard to control her tears but it was nearly impossible. They were running down her cheeks again, dripping onto her lap. “First I thought it wasn’t real . . . and I was insecure but then I . . . I realized it was real . . . and . . . and I didn’t know how . . . how to tell you so . . .  I finally tried . . . I tried at school,” she cried and wiped her eyes with a tissue.

Louis felt so bad for not noticing her intentions before. He touched her shoulder slightly. “I was afraid you’d never talk to me again. And tonight, it’s so hard for me to sit here and tell you all these things and I don’t think . . ." Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. More tears streamed down her cheeks.

Louis pulled her into a tight hug again. “I’m so sorry.” He ran his hand up and down her back.

“I love you, Louis. I want to be with you,” Eleanor whispered into his neck.

When she pulled away from Louis’ embrace and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper, Louis shook his head. His eyes got wet too, but for a different reason. What should he tell her? He definitely wasn't ready for this.

“What’s wrong with me, Louis?" she asked. “Please tell me, what’s wrong? Why don’t you like me?"

“I do like you, El,” Louis nearly yelled at her because his situation was so desperate. He tried to pull himself together while Eleanor was twirling her hair nervously.

“So tell me what’s wrong with me then!” she yelled back at the boy.

Louis could see the desperation in her eyes what made his heart sink. He waved his hands in the air. “Nothing, Eleanor! Nothing’s wrong with you! You are a beautiful girl, a great friend and a lovely person! All I can say is that it’s not your fault. It has nothing to do with you, nothing,” Louis exhaled audibly. “Please, you . . . you . . . have to believe me.” He couldn’t hold back his own tears anymore.

They sat there, both of them covered in tears. “You’re a wonderful person Eleanor. But I think I . . . I don’t have the same feelings toward you,” Louis confessed. “I love you . . . a lot but . . . you know . . . in another way.”

Louis wanted to hug his friend again but apparently it was the wrong decision. She freed herself from his embrace and got off the bed. “What are you doing, Louis?” she cried. “I can’t be friends with you only! I love you! I can’t stop thinking of you, every minute, every second of the day and you’re sitting here, telling me that you love me but in another way? You can’t be serious!” she yelled and left the room.

Louis stared at the door for a while because he wasn’t able to move. This felt like the end of their friendship.

 


	21. Jennifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor ignores Louis. During a break, he gets to meet Jennifer and Louis thinks she's nice. Taylor, his friend, leaves Louis alone with her because he can see that she's interested in Louis but he doesn't believe it.

After the party Louis felt that everything was different between Eleanor and him. The girl avoided Louis whenever it was possible - what automatically split the clique. Nathan and Taylor spent most of the time with Louis, the girls with Eleanor. Maybe the whole situation would have been better if Louis had told Eleanor about his insecurities concerning his sexuality but he wasn’t ready for this.

Mr. Styles hadn’t been at school for one week because he did a further education in London. But although Mr. Styles wasn't there, it was just impossible for Louis not to think of his teacher. He was on his mind every single day.

Dr. Rankey told Louis that his foot was healing surprisingly well and it probably wouldn’t take long until he could walk normally again. Louis hated the crutches because they were obstructing his movements, but the worst thing was that Louis wasn’t able to play football or skate. What an awesome feeling it was when he was finally allowed to leave the crutches at home! One day later, Louis went to Manchester with Lauren, bought himself a new skateboard and went to the skate park with her the other day. He enjoyed his new freedom and almost forgot about his problems.

It was a cold October morning when Louis walked to school with Nathan. Everything was cool until Louis spotted Mr. Styles a few meters away as he was getting out of his car.  A wave of heat rushed through Louis’ body immediately. His teacher looked fabulous. He was wearing skinny black jeans, a light blue/white plaid shirt and a long brown coat. His curls were hid under a dark blue beanie and his appearance only made Louis nervous and his stomach flutter.

“Good morning boys, good to see you again!” Mr. Styles waved at the boys. Then he turned toward Louis. “Oh Louis, I see you don’t use the crutches anymore?” he asked friendly and pointed at Louis’ foot.

“Yes it’s cured finally,” the boy answered with a nervous smile.

“That’s good news. I felt sorry for you because you suffered so much that day,” the teacher smiled at Louis. “It’s good that you got rid of them finally. See you in class this afternoon!” he said and walked away.

Nathan shook his friend’s shoulder and waved his hands in front of his face. “Hey Louis, are you okay?”

Louis just nodded. His heart hammered in his chest while he was still staring at Mr. Styles who disappeared in the school building. “I’m okay. Why?” Louis felt his cheeks getting hot.

His friend shrugged his shoulders. “I was just wondering,” he smiled and put his arm around Louis’ shoulders. “Let’s go inside, it’s cold out here!” Nathan remarked and dragged Louis inside of the building.

***

At lunchtime Louis went to the cafeteria with Nathan and Taylor. Taylor was very busy with his final year of school lately so they didn’t meet very often. It was nice for the boys to have him around again. After a while, Chloe and Lauren approached their table. Eleanor was with them what made Louis feel guilty. Just before he could say something to Eleanor, two unknown girls walked towards the table and started talking with Chloe and her friends.

“Who are they?” Louis wanted to know.

“Emma and Jennifer,” Nathan said with a sigh. “Emma’s my cousin. She’s a lovely girl in contrast to her friend, Jennifer.”

Taylor interrupted his friend harshly. “Don’t you dare talking shit about Jen!” He made a gesture.

Nathan bowed his head towards Taylor, tapping his forehead. “Are you serious? She’s the most conceited, selfish and most arrogant girl I know.”

Taylor clicked his tongue and winked. “Yeah, she is but . . . look at her. She’s hot as fuck!”

Nathan rolled his eyes. “You’re crazy, Taylor. She’s the most obnoxious person I know and don’t forget that she has . . . ” The boy couldn’t finish his sentence because Jennifer came walking straight toward them.

“Hey guys!” the girl chirped in a sweet voice. “May we sit next to you?” she asked and touched Louis’ shoulder.

Louis nodded and moved a little closer to Taylor while Emma sat down next to Nathan and started talking about some family affairs with him. Jennifer started to talk with Louis and Taylor. She seemed to be very nice and Louis liked her. From the corner of his eye he noticed Eleanor who was about to get up from the table.

“Are you coming with me?” she asked Lauren and Chloe.

“Why are you leaving?” Louis wanted to talk to her. He wanted to have a normal conversation at least but she just sent him a glare.

“It’s none of your business,” she answered in a sharp tone while she picked up her bag from the floor.

 Louis wasn’t expecting that tone from her at all. It hurt him very much and he literally felt their friendship breaking apart even more. Jennifer put her arm around Louis’ shoulders as the girls were walking away.

“Don’t let her pull you down, okay?" Jennifer said. “She’s not worth it, I can see that. I’m going to grab a hot chocolate. Do you want one too?” the girl asked Louis who nodded. “Hot chocolate makes everything better, you’ll see,” she winked at Louis and walked over to the vending machine.

While Jennifer was buying the hot chocolate, Nathan and Emma decided to go to the library. Louis was sure Nathan just wanted to get away from Jennifer although he really couldn’t understand why. Taylor put his arm around Louis’ shoulders. "Louis, that girl is hot. I thought she would flirt with me but obviously you’re the winner here,” he said with a smirk. “I don’t want to bother you two. I’ll sit down with my classmates over there.” He pointed to another table. "Don’t listen to Nathan and enjoy your time with her.” Taylor winked, patted Louis’ back and got up. “She really likes you, I can tell,” he said with a smirk, then walked away.

Louis was confused. Why was Taylor assuming that he wanted to be alone with Jennifer? That was weird but Louis stayed quiet.

“Where did everyone go?” Jennifer asked astonished when she came back, holding two plastic cups in her hands.

 Louis just shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea.”

Jennifer smiled. “It doesn’t matter. Here’s your hot chocolate,” she said happily, put one of the white plastic cups in front of Louis and sat down next to him again. “By the way, I’m Jennifer but my friends call me Jen.” she introduced herself and reached out her hand.

Louis answered her nice gesture. “I’m Louis. I’m new here.”

“That’s why I haven’t seen you at school before!” Jennifer took a sip of her hot chocolate. “I already like you, Louis,” she said and gave him a hug.

Louis and Jennifer spent the rest of the break together until it was time to leave for the next lessons.

 


	22. An English lesson

Nathan and Taylor were sitting on the floor in front of the classroom when Louis arrived. “Hey womanizer, how was your date?” Taylor said jokingly and smiled at Louis. “Are you a thing already?”

Louis kicked his friend's feet and Nathan slapped Taylor’s head playfully. “Hey!” he protested and let out a loud laugh. “I’m just asking!”

Louis rolled his eyes. “First, it wasn’t a date. Second, she’s nice and third, I’m not a womanizer. Any other questions left?” the boy replied sassy and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“But you two will date, won’t you?” Taylor asked seriously this time.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Louis! That girl is very popular at school. You better think twice. She told me that she likes you so you have a good chance of winning this game,” he smirked. “Not like me.”

“You know what Taylor, why don’t you ask her out? It would be easier to get all the news you’re so interested in,” Louis answered jokingly while Nathan held up his hand for a high five.

Taylor got up and waved his hands furiously towards his friends. “Are you two gay?” he said reproachfully what made Louis’ heart race.

For a short moment, he froze. The boy felt exposed and caught at the same time and it nearly felt as if the blood was draining from his face. But then Taylor laughed out and put his arms around his friend. “Hey Tommo, it was just a joke.” he smiled as he put both hands onto his shoulders. “Jen is such a cutie and I’ll definitely ask her out if you don’t want to.”

Louis shrugged his shoulders. “I won’t stop you.”

Taylor showed Louis thumbs up, said goodbye and walked away. The boy went into the classroom with Nathan and sat down at his desk.

When Mr. Styles walked into the room, he attracted the girls’ attention immediately. Some girls started whispering and giggling but it seemed like the tall man wasn’t bothered at all. Louis thought that Mr. Styles was used to this and that’s why he didn’t pay attention to them. He stepped in self-confident, with a huge smile on his lips. Louis’ heart jumped when their eyes met for a second and he felt this warm feeling consuming his whole body again. The teacher’s outfit was on point and he looked . . . beautiful.

“Good afternoon!” he said cheerfully while he was walking over to his desk. “I hope you’re all doing fine.” He put his hands on the desk. “The first thing I want to do with you is reading a book,” he explained and looked around the classroom. Some of the guys moaned what made him smile. “You’ll see that you have made a rather hasty decision. It’s a touching story with a serious background.” The teacher took the books out of his huge brown leather bag and put them on the desk.

Louis couldn’t help but stare. How could he ever act normal around this man? As Mr. Styles fleetingly glanced at Louis, the boy looked away quickly because his cheeks felt hot again. This man made him nervous, really nervous but Louis didn’t want him to notice so he pretended to look for something in his school bag.

“We haven’t been together quite a long time so I would like you to write your names on signs right now. It will be easier for me to remember them quickly.”

While Louis was writing his sign, he somehow got lost in a daydream. Louis remembered how he felt when he saw Harry for the first time. How friendly he was, how he came into the bathroom to help him, how his warm hands felt on Louis’ skin . . .

“What do you think about that, Louis?”

All of a sudden Louis heard his teacher’s voice and got a tremendous fright. He was standing next to him again. Too close.

“Sorry . . . I . . . I didn’t pay attention,” Louis stammered. What a horrible situation that was! Why couldn’t he behave normal around Mr. Styles?

“Just tell me if it’s too boring next time,” his teacher answered seriously but then he gave Louis a small smile. “I could easily change that.”

The class laughed what made Louis feel dumb. Two girls were walking around, distributing the books with the title “my sister’s keeper”. The class started reading some pages and soon the students found out that Harry was right. It wasn’t just a boring piece of literature. It was a story about a family whose firstborn child had leukemia. The parents were having another child, a test-tube love with the right genes just to save the firstborn. The second child was only born to donate stem cells and bone marrow to her ill sister. When the girl got older, she sued her parents because she wanted to decide what to do with her body.

 


	23. Welcome to the team

Nathan and Taylor had great news for Louis after the autumn holidays. Their coach Matt wanted to see their friend’s abilities. Depending on how good Louis was, he could maybe join the school football team soon. This was good news! Louis took his huge black sports bag and went over to the dressing room with Nathan and some other boys from school. Before they entered the hall, Louis spotted Taylor kissing Jen next to the tool shed. As the team was puting on their football gear, the coach stepped into the room. He was a tall guy with short black hair, dark brown eyes and a nice smile. He probably was in his late twenties.

“Hi, you must be Louis, right?" he asked friendly and Louis nodded. “I’m Matt, the coach of the school football team.”

“Hi! Yes, I'm Louis. I love football and I’m so happy that you allowed me to train with the team today!” he said happily.

Matt patted his back twice. “We always need new, talented players. Hopefully it won’t be only for today,” he winked and walked away.

“So you’re with Jen now? I saw you two kissing outside,” Louis whispered to Taylor who was in the changing room by now.

The older boy just winked at his mate. “Well . . . I wouldn’t say that we’re in a relationship but something like that,” he answered with a huge grin. “She’s such a hot babe, Louis. You’re really missing out on that but now it’s too late for you, I’m sorry.” Taylor said jokingly and put one arm around Louis’ shoulders as they were walking out on the pitch.

“Don’t worry about that. She’s all yours,” Louis replied as they started to warm-up.

 

Matt’s training was incredibly hard and a true difference to the training in Doncaster. The coach corrected the postures whenever it was necessary and helped the team to put weight on the right muscles during the warm-up. The whole atmosphere was professional and Louis enjoyed it very much. Although he hadn’t been on the pitch for more than an hour, Louis wanted to be a part of this team so bad. The coach was nice, the team was amazing and Louis also loved the surroundings in general. The pitch was light green and well-tended – a huge difference between Doncaster and Holmes Chapel. There were a lot of trees around the pitch on one side, bordering a huge meadow. Another difference to his old pitch were the huge stands for a big crowd. Louis started imagining how it would feel to play here, in front of so many people. He sighted. This training made him realize how much he had missed playing football in a team since his family had moved here.

When the boys walked back to the dressing room, Louis thought that he had seen Mr. Styles walking away from the stands but he wasn’t sure. Maybe he was too exhausted and his brain was overloaded with endorphins? Maybe it was just a random person but just the thought of his teacher made Louis nervous again. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re a great talent, Louis. I could notice that from the first minute," the coach said. "If you want, you can join the team!" he offered and smiled at Louis. The boy looked at him disbelievingly. “I could really join your team?”

Matt nodded. He patted Louis' back. “You’re a great player, Louis. You have talent and as far as I can see, you're getting along with the boys so yes, welcome to the team!" the coach assured him that he really meant it.

“I would love to, Matt. This is amazing, thank you so much!" His teammates cheered as Matt hugged Louis and congratulated him again.

“Matt doesn’t let everyone join our team,” a guy with middle long brown hair said acknowledging. “You should be very proud of yourself."

Louis couldn't stop smiling. He needed to tell Stan about his victory and went out of the dressing room to call him.

 

When they finished talking, Louis returned to the dressing room. Some of the guys were still there and suddenly, Louis felt a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. The boys were quite fit and attractive. To see them shirtless and naked was quite appealing to Louis and this feeling scared him. It wasn't right, this couldn't be right. It was wrong to have those thoughts, totally wrong so he tried to push them away quickly. Louis undressed and took a quick, cold shower. Then he packed his bag, grabbed his skateboard and walked out of the building. When Louis reached the parking lane, he saw Mr. Styles standing next to his car. Louis' heart jumped and it felt so wrong again but he couldn't do anything about it. When the boy got closer, the teacher greeted him friendly and so did Louis.

“Your football skills are amazing,” his teacher said.

“Uhm . . . thanks,” the boy answered quietly. 

“Make sure to recover and have a nice weekend!” the teacher added as he opened the boot of his car.

“You too, thank you. Good bye Mr. Styles!"

“Bye Louis,” he answered and climbed into his car.

 

If Mr. Styles only knew how Louis was feeling about him. That Louis wanted to be close to him. But wasn’t that absurd? He was Louis’ teacher and Louis was his student. Above all, he was incredibly handsome and almost every girl at school had a crush on him while Louis was a seventeen year old boy with a boring face and an inconspicuous haircut. Even if Mr. Styles wouldn’t have been his teacher, the man had been far out of Louis’ league. Despite that, Louis was sure he was married although he didn’t wear a ring on his finger. The child safety seat in the back was proof enough.


	24. A walk in the park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan wants to talk to Louis so they take a walk in the park.

Louis was reflecting everything that had happened during the day when suddenly the doorbell rang. Right after the ring, Louis noticed tiny steps on the wooden stairs in front of his room, followed by a light double knock on his door.

“Who is it?” Louis yelled as a blonde little head showed up. It was Phoebe.

“Nathan is downstairs with his dog, he wants to see you.”

“Thanks for telling me. I have to get dressed first but I’ll be downstairs in a minute. Can you tell him that, please?” 

Phoebe nodded and ran down the stairs again.

 

When the boys arrived at the small park, they sat down on a bench that was surrounded by huge oak trees. It was quiet that evening, only the wind was blowing through the branches of the old trees. Nathan and Louis talked about random things such as football, school and computer games first. But after a while, Nathan changed the subject.

“Louis, we’re friends, aren’t we?" he asked.

“Of course we are.”

Nathan nodded.  “I’m just worrying about you. It seems like something’s wrong and I have the impression it got worse after the party.” He broke a tiny branch into pieces. “Eleanor has been acting weird since then and it kind of split our clique into two groups. The girls didn’t want to tell me what happened so I thought maybe you could.”

Louis pressed his lips together and looked at the ground.

“What’s wrong with you and Eleanor? I mean, you two have always been one heart and one soul but it suddenly changed.” Nathan sighted. “Usually I’m not nosey but it’s affecting my favorite group of friends so I thought I may ask why.”

Nathan was his friend and Louis trusted him. He deserved to know the truth so Louis started talking about it.

“Eleanor told me that she wanted more than a friendship with me but I rejected her,” Louis said quietly, nervously tugging his sleeve.

Nathan looked at him confused. “Oh. To be honest, I thought there was already something going on between you and her."

Louis shook his head. “No, it has always been a very close friendship, at least I thought so until she tried to kiss me twice. The last time . . . was at your party.”

Nathan chuckled. “Seems like this girl is really persistent.” He threw the branch away and folded his hands. “But you two got along so well and you were so close to each other. She really likes you and besides that you might have noticed that she’s very popular among boys? You would be the perfect couple!” he remarked with a smile. "The football star and the beauty queen, that would be some good news for the school magazine!"

Louis chuckled quietly at his friend's joke but shook his head again. “No. I just want to be friends with her. I love her but not in that way, you know.”

“That’s life man. Women are causing us a lot of trouble. Aren’t they?” Nathan laughed and Louis was relieved that he didn’t ask further. “The best thing is that you've been here for a few weeks only and the girls are already getting into trouble with you!" Nathan shook his head and let out another chuckle. He said it in such a funny way that Louis just couldn’t hide a smile.

“The sad thing is that Eleanor couldn’t accept it and my biggest fear is to lose her as a friend."

“I’m sure she just needs some time to get over it and then you’ll laugh over this story and be best friends again.” Nathan smiled at Louis and both boys stayed quiet for a while while they were watching the dog playing with a stick.

“What do you think about Jennifer? She seems pretty much interested, as I could tell.”

Louis looked at his friend, frowning. “She’s with Taylor, Nathan. I don’t think she’s interested in me.”

”So what? I still hate her, don’t even think that I have another opinion on her but honestly, haven’t you noticed how she's looking at you all the time?” He laughed out loudly. “Taylor can have every woman on this planet, just look at him. And to be honest, I don’t think Taylor and Jen really are a couple.” Nathan made an unambiguously move and chuckled. “What do you think about her?”

“She’s nice. But as long as I don’t know what’s going on between her and Taylor, I don’t want to come between them.” This wasn't a lie but also not the truth.

“Are you really such a saint? Come on! Louis! Can’t you see that you’re quite popular among the girls? Either you’re actually innocent or you’re playing with it. There’s no other way,” Nathan smiled and put his arm around Louis’ shoulders to pull him close for a moment.

If he only knew what Louis was feeling and how insecure he was about everything.


	25. Insecurities

Louis kept telling himself that the fascination about Mr. Styles would be an unimportant phase in his life but his feelings towards him didn’t change. Whenever he saw his teacher, the same pattern showed up. He got nervous, butterflies were dancing in his stomach and no matter how insecure or afraid Louis was of his feelings, he had to admit that he had a huge crush on the older man. At night, Louis layed in bed and the mere thought of his teacher caused him chest pains. How could someone be so pretty? He was so special and everything Louis longed for was to talk to him, to be close to him, physically close. The only one he had talked about this was Stan and he didn't even dare telling him everything in detail. It wasn’t possible for Louis to talk about this to his friends. He just couldn’t imagine what their reactions would be so he kept quiet because it was too much of a risk. Louis didn’t feel well at all when his thoughts came to Mr. Styles. What would other people say if they found out? Louis had to keep his feelings a secret and this restriction laid heavy on his heart. What if he was the only one who felt like this in his class or maybe even at his whole school? It wasn’t normal to like boys or men as a guy and that fact made it so difficult for Louis to accept it.

Another week passed by but Eleanor was still avoiding Louis. Maybe he should have told her how he felt at the party but Louis knew he wasn’t ready for it. The insecurities that filled his heart let Louis feel like a bird in a cage with an open door. There were two options for him: He could fly through the door and be free but if he did, there would also be enormous risks. Just when Louis was thinking about this topic again, he remembered a case that happened at his school. A boy came out and the result was that he was treated and bullied badly by a lot of people. After a few weeks he left school and Louis never questioned what happened with the guy back then. Louis was frightened that he could face the same destiny as him. The situation he was in felt like being caught in a rollercoaster that couldn’t be stopped while it got faster and faster.


	26. Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry offers his help to Louis. Will Louis agree?

After lunch, Louis wanted to get his sports bag he had put in his classroom. When he entered, he stopped walking because Mr. Styles was sitting at the desk, flickering through a book.

“Hello Louis!” the teacher greeted the boy with a smile.

“Hey,” Louis answered timidly.

What was he doing in the classroom? He looked amazing as usual although he was just wearing an olive green jumper and blue jeans. Louis felt the heat crawling up his body again.

“Is everything okay with you?” Mr. Styles asked him. “It seems to me like something’s wrong. You haven’t participated much in my lessons lately,” the man remarked while he was closing his carefully.

Louis’ cheeks felt hot and he was sure that he was blushing. He just couldn’t prevent himself from this reaction, it just happened whenever he was talking to this man. Why couldn’t his body just relax in front of him? What if he noticed that Louis was nervous? The boy walked over to his desk, took his bag and put it over his shoulders. Mr. Styles pushed his hair back slowly. It was the first time Louis saw him wearing his hair loose. It looked beautiful and this gesture was quite . . . sexy. Oh god.

“If you need help or if you struggle with something you can talk to me if you want,” Mr. Styles offered. “My office is in the main building, third floor.”

Louis didn’t know what to say at first. Was he serious? Had he already noticed that Louis liked him? His words made Louis even more nervous than he already was. Why would he offer that to him personally? Louis knew many pupils who used to talk to him about problems because he was elected as one of the liaison teachers a few weeks before, but this was different. Was it? Or was it just different because Louis’ imagination played tricks on him?

“Thank you, but I’m okay,” Louis said quietly.

His own words hurt him deep inside. If Louis listened to his heart, he knew that he wanted to stay. He wanted to talk to this man so bad but he didn’t dare to admit it in front of him, of course not. Louis was already running late for training and he didn’t want to make a bad impression at the beginning so that’s why he decided to leave.

“I’m already late for training,” Louis mumbled almost rudely although this wasn’t his intention. The words just tumbled out of his mouth to protect himself from his feelings.

“See you!” Mr. Styles answered and leaned back in his chair while Louis was rushing out of the room.

Training was nice. As usual there were a few visitors standing next to the pitch. The weather wasn’t that warm anymore but Matt decided to train outside as long as it was possible. This time they first focused on scoring goals. Then two groups were formed and had a match against each other. Just when Louis was about to score a beautiful goal he fell hardly onto the ground and hurt his hip. As he held his aching side, he froze. There he was. He spotted Mr. Styles sitting among the visitors next to the pitch. Oh no. Louis got up and tried to act as normal as possible but Nathan seemed to notice that something was wrong with him.

“Hey Louis, what’s up with you? Are you nervous?” Nathan asked while he gave his friend a light nudge. “You look like a shrinking violet.” He smirked and passed Louis the ball.

“I’m fine,” Louis lied while he was dribbling the ball.

He had difficulties to pull himself together because he was so intimidated by his teacher’s presence. The boy missed scoring another goal when he had the best ever possibility. He just couldn’t concentrate on the game since he knew his teacher was watching. How ridiculous that was but Louis couldn’t do anything about it.

_“If you need help or if you struggle with something just talk to me if you want.”_

Did he really mean it? There was nothing Louis wanted more than to be alone with him but would it be the right decision to meet him in his office? This meeting would probably cause Louis even more pain. What was Louis expecting? Mr. Styles was his teacher and Louis was his student. No matter how many times they talked, there would never be more than a nice conversation. There was no room for different interpretations, none.

Suddenly Louis felt a hand hitting his back. “Hey buddy, you’re acting weird. What’s up with you? Only girls miss scoring in such situations,” Nathan said with a laugh and squeezed Louis’ neck.

“I’m just a little tired," Louis lied.

Nathan chuckled but stayed quiet. While Louis was showering, he thought of Mr. Styles offer. Did he really consider talking to Louis? Only the thought of being alone with this man thrilled the boy and made him want this even more. When Louis packed his bag, he was sure that he wanted to try at least. But would Mr. Styles still be at school? It was about six o’clock when Louis walked up the stairs to third floor. The corridor was barely illuminated and all offices were dark, except for one at the end of the corridor.

Louis felt his heart pounding heavily and his hands were getting wet when he turned around a corner to get to the office. Louis read the name on the plastic sign next to the door frame: Mr. Harry Styles.

Was it really the right thing to come here? What would his teacher think of him? Louis’ hands were trembling, his heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth was dry. He hesitated first but then he called upon his courage and knocked on the door.

 


	27. At Harry's office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis decides to talk to his teacher.

“Come in!” Mr. Styles yelled.

Louis was afraid and excited at the same time. What would Mr. Styles say? Why was he still here? Was it a coincidence or was he waiting for him? Of course he wasn’t. Louis’ thoughts nearly drove him insane. He slowly opened the door and stepped in.

“Louis!” his teacher got up from his office chair. “I wasn’t expecting you that late,” he said with a smile, walked towards his student and shook Louis’ hand. They boy felt stupid for believing he might have waited for him.

“Sorry if it’s inappropriate,” Louis mumbled. “I should probably leave.”

“No it’s fine. Shut the door and take a seat, please.” The teacher pointed at the sofa. “Would you like something to drink?” Harry offered.

“Water would be fine, thank you,” Louis answered politely.

He was pulling the sleeves of his sweater nervously. The boy watched his teacher walking over to the little black fridge where he pulled out a bottle of water. He put two glasses on the side table and poured the water in. Louis couldn’t take his eyes off Mr. Styles. Everything about him was so beautiful, so pretty. Louis’ cheeks got hot because he felt embarrassed of his thoughts. It wasn’t right to have these feelings towards his teacher, it just wasn’t.

Mr. Styles put a glass of water onto the small table in front of Louis and sat down on the other end of the sofa. Louis took one of the fluffy white pillows into his lap and squeezed it just to distract himself from his thoughts that made him shift uncomfortably. What should he do now? What should he say?

“How was your training?” the man asked.

“It was very good. I like the team and the coach seems to be very professional.” Louis took a sip of his water. “Matt liked my play,” he added proudly.

Mr. Styles nodded. “Oh yes. I know Matt from university. He studied with me and we graduated together a few years ago. He’s a nice guy and a real pro,” he remarked. “Congratulations on your membership.” Mr. Styles pushed his hair back. “So tell me, why did you come here? Do you want to talk about something?”

Why was Louis here? If Louis was honest, he was here to be alone with him. He was here because he had a crush on his teacher which was ridiculous and childish. Louis felt hot and cold at the same time. “I hope I’m not wasting your time.”

Harry leaned forward and folded his hands. His green eyes caught Louis’ and sent a shiver down his spine. “Don’t worry. You aren’t wasting my time.”

If he only knew what he did to him, if he only knew how much Louis liked his warm, raspy voice. The boy hadn’t been aware of the fact that a voice could be that appealing but he knew now. Louis sighted because it seemed that just in this moment he lost all his self-confidence. Mr. Styles’ presence made Louis feel so small.

“It’s difficult for me to talk about it and . . . I’m afraid of . . . what you’ll think of me,” Louis said quietly.

The second he said that sentence he regretted it immediately. The boy looked down on the floor when Harry gently touched his shoulder.

“Louis. I won’t tell anybody, no matter what it is.” He took his hand away again and Louis wished he wouldn't have. “Just tell me what you want me to know, alright?” Mr. Styles said and looked at the boy. “And if you should change your mind, then don’t. It’s up to you.”

This man had a special aura around him that suddenly calmed Louis down. He inhaled and exhaled loudly before he told his teacher that his dad left the family all of a sudden, how he felt about it and how difficult the move was for him. The thought of his dad made Louis very emotional. He stopped talking to catch his breath as he felt tears burning in the corner of his eyes. He tried to hold them because he didn’t want to show weakness.

His teacher was listening attentively. “I feel you, Louis. It’s all new to you and I’m sorry your dad left.”

Louis turned his head away from his teacher and looked out of the window. He just couldn’t hold back the tears. They were slowly running down his cheeks, dripping onto his sweater. They boy wiped them away with his sleeve. This was so embarrassing.

“Sorry,” the boy mumbled barely audible.

His teacher got up, took a box of tissues out of his drawer and he offered one to Louis. He sat down on the sofa again, this time closer so that Louis could almost feel his tights touching his. Harry's vanilla scented perfume filled Louis’ head.

“Don’t be sorry,” Mr. Styles answered with a low voice. “Have you tried to call your dad again?”

Louis nodded while he blew his nose. “He hasn’t answered yet although I’ve tried so many times. My mum doesn’t want to tell me anything about him and I wish I could at least talk to him again.”

Louis stared at the table. It felt good to get this out. The more time he spent with Mr. Styles, the more secure and calm he felt. Louis trusted Mr. Styles so he decided to tell him about the situation with his friend Eleanor too. The boy told him everything about their friendship. How they met, how he felt about her, how she tried to kiss Louis and how he rejected her twice. Mr. Styles put his hand under his chin and his forehead in wrinkles.

“But don’t you think you could make it work somehow? Everything is a little difficult when you’re young but as far as I can tell, Eleanor is a nice girl and she really likes you. I noticed a lot boys have an eye on her too.” Mr. Styles looked at Louis. “Is it absolutely impossible for you to imagine being in a relationship with her? You two have already been very close.”

Louis shook his head. He squeezed the fluffy pillow he was still holding in his lap. He was close to tears again. This time it was impossible for him to hold the tears back, not even for a second. They ran down his face without warning, for the second time today, dripping on the white pillow in front of him. He sobbed and his whole body was trembling as he tried to speak again but he couldn’t. Louis’ emotions took control over his actions completely. Mr. Styles had hit a raw nerve with his words that he wasn’t even aware of. Louis pressed the palms of his hands onto his face while he let out some heavy sobs.

“Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I . . .” his teacher said quietly.

Louis shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he cried and took another tissue from the box. “This is embarrassing, I’m so sorry.”

Mr. Styles gave Louis a small smile. “You don’t have to feel embarrassed, not at all,” he said softly and caressed Louis’ arm.

This little touch let Louis forget about all his doubts. The tears were still streaming down his face but Louis did his best to pull himself together to be able to speak. He followed his heart and blurted out everything that had bothered him during the last weeks.

“You know . . . the problem isn’t Eleanor,” Louis said quietly, his voice thick with tears. Louis could feel that more and more tears were wetting his eyes. They just ran down his cheeks and he couldn't do anything about it. “It’s more than that. It’s . . . I . . . I just don’t know if I . . .” Louis’ voice broke at the end of the sentence. Mr. Styles stayed quiet. Louis took a deep breath. “No, it’s just . . . it’s . . . I think . . . I think I might be . . . gay.” Louis looked at his teacher. Then he started crying bitterly as the words left his mouth. He buried his face into the palms of his hands again while his whole body was shaking from crying. "I haven’t told anybody yet . . . and I’m afraid what will happen if I tell my family or friends. I mean, I’m not even sure about it . . . but all I know is I’m not attracted to girls and I feel so ashamed that I’m not normal . . . and I’m just . . . I’m just sad and incredibly scared.” It felt good to tell the truth and Louis had the impression that all the strain and pressure of the last weeks were released at once. “Or maybe I just don’t want it to be true,” he whispered while he was pressing the white pillow closer to his body.

Mr. Styles scooted closer to Louis, put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him close his chest. He caressed the boy’s arm. Louis’ pulse quickened under the gentle touch and he could literally feel his heartbeat up in his throat. It felt so good to be close to Mr. Styles, so comforting but surreal. Was this really happening? His teacher held Louis close for several minutes until he calmed down.

“I think once again, I can’t really help you,” Mr. Styles said and rubbed the back of his neck. “Boys your age often struggle with their sexuality, it’s not unusual.”

Louis nodded and wiped his eyes. “I don’t know how to handle all this, it’s too much for me,” he replied quietly and bowed his head that was aching all of a sudden.

“Take your time to find it out. The most important thing is you should never let others tell you what’s wrong or right,” Mr. Styles said. Then he got up, switched off his computer and started packing his bag. “I think you should go home now, I’m sure your mum is already waiting for you.”

Louis didn’t want to go home, if he was honest. While they were walking towards the parking lot, Louis felt as if this man wasn’t his teacher. He had been so nice to him, so gentle. It felt as if he was his friend. Or maybe Louis was just wishing that he would be.

_”He’s your teacher, Louis.”_ Stan’s voice sounded in Louis’ head and made his head hurt even more.

“Mr. Styles?” Louis asked and stopped walking. He looked at his teacher. “Please don’t tell anybody what we talked about.”

“I promise.” Mr. Styles took out the keys of his bag and unlocked his car. “Have a nice evening and don’t think about it too much. Sometimes all you need is time.”

Louis thanked his teacher and said goodbye. Suddenly the man turned around. “Louis? You can call me Harry when it’s just the two of us.”

 

On his way home Louis couldn’t think of anything else than Mr. Styles.

_“You can call me Harry when it’s just the two of us.”_

Why did he say that? Had he offered that to other students too? Maybe it wasn’t something special so why should Louis be excited about it? But he was. He was very excited about it. What did that mean? Would his teacher like to talk to him again? Did he like him too? Louis sighted. Holmes Chapel had turned his life upside down.

After he had dinner with his family, Louis called Stan.

 


	28. The phone call

“Hi Louis! What’s up? Are you okay?”

“I wish I was,” Louis sighted.

“What happened?”

“I talked to Harry a few hours ago.”

“Harry?”

“Styles. My teacher," Louis added quickly.

“You call him Harry?”

“Only when we’re alone.”

“Only when what? Sorry Louis, are you serious? Why and when were you alone with him?”

“I talked to him in his office today,” Louis answered quietly.

“About what?”

“We talked about almost everything. My family, my dad, Eleanor . . ."

Stan interrupted Louis. “So he knows everything? I mean . . . everything?” Stan couldn’t believe his friends’ words.

“He does,” Louis admitted quietly.

Stan didn’t say a word so Louis blurted everything out. “He offered me to talk to him because he had noticed that something was wrong with me! When I was with him, I felt so good and it felt so right. He’s special Stan! He’s not like other teachers who don’t care about their students. He’s so lovely and nice, he really cares and he gave me a feeling of importance. He listened to me. He comforted me and made me feel better. It felt so right to talk to him, so right . . .”

Stan cleared his throat. “Uhm . . . I’m just puzzled right now. I don’t know what to say to be honest.” He paused. “Okay wait. So you seriously told your teacher you were gay? You really did?” Stan sounded disbelieving.

“I did,” Louis admitted. “Well, I told him I wasn’t sure.”

“You’re joking, aren’t you?” Stan asked. “He’s your teacher, Louis! You have to deal with him almost every day and he has to give you marks! What if this was a terrible mistake?”

“Why are you so upset? He’s also a human being, not a monster. He won’t tell anybody, he promised me and I believe him. I don’t know why but I feel comfortable when I’m around him. I’ve never felt that way before, never!” Louis shouted into the phone while tears were burning in his eyes. Stan’s words hurt and the thought of his teacher made Louis’ heart burn. “It’s the first time I have ever experienced something that comes close to what I’ve missed all those years and now you’re mad at me because of that?” Louis’ voice was thick with tears as he was trying to speak as clear as he could. “This is not fair,” Louis sobbed into the phone.

Stan lowered his voice immediately. “I’m sorry Lou, I didn’t want to get you into a mess or make you sad. I’m just worried that you’ll run into something you can’t assess yet. I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.”

Louis exhaled loudly. “I know it’s hard to understand but . . . the whole situation is new to me too and I’m still figuring how to deal with it. But I can’t change my feelings, I can’t. Every time I see him I get butterflies in my stomach and I get this feeling that . . . I think I have a crush on him because he’s so lovely, so pretty and . . . I don’t know Stan, it’s so different from everything I have experienced yet and it’s just . . . it’s just too much for me to cope with. And I know he’s my teacher, I know that it’s not allowed and I know that others also have crushed on their teachers . . . but . . . I . . . I don’t know what to tell you to make it sound as serious as it is for me. The only thing I know is . . . I miss him, every second, every fucking second of my life!”

Louis was shocked by his own words but maybe this was it. This was the truth and he had finally said what he feared the most to admit. Louis slowly realized what he had said. This whole situation seemed so hopeless.

“Oh Lou, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You have to believe me, as I told you I’m just worried about you. But if you like him he must be special, because you are too.”

After a while they hung up and Louis curled up in his bed. While he was still crying tears of desperation, he really realized that there was no way he could be together with Eleanor or Jen. It was the moment that made clear that his relationships had covered something up Louis wasn’t even aware of.

About one hour later, his mum came into Louis' room and sat down on Louis’ bed. “Louis darling, aren’t you feeling well?” she asked her son. “I was so busy during the last weeks that I neglected you a little, I think.”

“It’s okay mum. I know you’ve been very busy, don’t worry about me. I’m just a little tired,” he lied while he was rubbing his neck.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” she asked Louis.

“No mum.” Jay looked at Louis and she almost looked disappointed? It was right, they hadn’t talked much to each other what made Louis feel a little bad. “Well, maybe there’s a little thing,” Louis added quickly.

“Is it about school?”

“No, it’s about a girl.” It wasn’t a proper lie but it wasn’t the truth also. Louis decided to tell his mum at least a little bit of his story because he noticed how worried she was about him.

“Eleanor. She told me she had a crush on me but I rejected her. That’s all. And now she’s hurt and . . . I don’t know what to do.” Louis made a gesture, “Stuff like that.”

His mum looked at Louis and nodded. “Oh. You know I like her a lot. At first I thought you were . . .” she said but stopped in the middle of her sentence because Louis looked at her, frowning.

“Everyone is telling me that,” he said irritated. “I think I’ve told you before. We’re not dating and we haven’t dated. We are friends only.” Louis sighted. “At least I thought we were. Now I’m afraid to lose her.”

Jay gave Louis a tight hug. “We can’t control our feelings. Just give her some time.” she said. “I also came up to tell you that you’ll be alone the next weekend. I’ll visit my friend Christie with Carol and the girls.”

 


	29. A bad encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets beaten up by Brandon and Harry finds him.

After Louis met Harry in his office, the boy was afraid that it might be awkward to see him in class. He was also afraid that Harry could act differently toward him but he didn’t. The only thing that changed was Louis’ feelings for his teacher. They got stronger and made him miss him even more. It wasn’t easy for Louis to be away from Harry since he knew how wonderful it felt to be close to him. He missed his touch and he missed his smell so bad that he often got lost in daydreams about Harry. It seemed so easy in his dreams but Stan was right. Harry was Louis’ teacher. It wouldn’t work out, even if Harry felt the same what was nearly impossible. Just the thought of that fact made Louis’ heart sting. He also kept asking himself if his feelings were real. Maybe it was all imagination? Louis hoped Harry would treat him differently but he didn’t. Harry was nice as usual and he was nice to anyone.

 _“Louis, I do understand you but maybe Harry isn’t the right person to focus on. He’s your teacher. He has to be nice to everyone and he can’t treat you differently just because you met him in his office and talked to him,”_ Stan said to him but the boy didn’t want to hear it.

The days passed by and Louis got more and more aware of the fact that he wanted more from Harry, more than he was ready to admit to himself, more than he was ready to admit if someone would have asked him about his real feelings. Nathan and Taylor continued to make jokes about his alleged charisma when it came to girls but Louis thought it would be better to laugh about it too.

Jennifer tried to hit on Louis whenever it was possible but the boy didn't respond to her much. He wasn’t interested in her and she was in a relationship with his friend Taylor. What would Eleanor think? Louis didn’t want her to believe that he would prefer another girl instead of her although he wouldn’t ever prefer a girl, would he? All of a sudden, Eleanor started hanging around with Brandon a lot what surprised and scared Louis at the same time. She wouldn’t talk to Louis at all what made their friendship fall apart more and more, just as Louis had suspected at Nathan’s party.

On Friday, Louis stayed longer on the pitch because he wanted to practice some tricks Nathan had showed him. After half an hour he noticed two guys sitting at the stands but he couldn’t quite recognize who they were because of the lighting conditions. Louis didn’t really pay attention to them until he recognized Brandon and Joshua. It was already getting dark outside when Louis left the pitch. He noticed that Brandon and Joshua were following him across the schoolyard what scared him a lot but he didn’t want to be a coward and run away from them either. When they had reached Louis, they pretended to have a few questions about the book the class was reading but that made Louis prick up his ears. He decided to play their little game and answered their questions as exact as he could, in the hope they would leave as soon as possible.

As the boys were turning around a corner, Brandon grabbed Louis’ arm roughly all of a sudden and pulled the boy very close to his body. His face was enraged, his tone harsh and Louis was incredibly afraid of what would happen next because he automatically remembered his last encounter with Brandon.

“What did you dick do to Eleanor?” he shouted as he was squeezing Louis’ left arm painfully. “Tell me now!”

“I . . . I did nothing!” Louis yelled back in desperation.

Brandon shoved Louis onto the ground, bent his upper part of the body towards him and yelled directly into his face.

“Don’t lie to me, dickhead! She’s sad! Do you remember what I told you? Do you?”

He grabbed Louis’ throat and throttled him so bad that it made the boy cough heavily. Joshua was just standing there, watching. Louis' back hurt because Brandon was pushing him against the hard concrete all the time and the pressure on his neck was nearly unbearable. Louis struggled to breathe because Brandon was still pressing his large hands around his neck. He was scared that Brandon could choke him for real. Louis had never been so scared in his life and he was close to tears because Brandon hurt him so much. All of a sudden, the older guy took his hand away from Louis’ throat but kicked into his left side immediately. Brandon’s kick was so hard that Louis thought his ribs might be broken. He buckled in pain.

“What are you doing?!” Louis cried as he pressed his hands onto his left side while he was trying to get off the ground.

“I told you not to mess with Eleanor but you did and this is what you deserve!” Brandon spat.

His voice was so loud and terrifying that Louis nearly pissed himself out of fear.

“Come on, get up you prick!” Brandon shouted enraged.

The veins under the skin of his neck were clearly visible. Just when Louis was about to get up slowly, Brandon pushed him hard again but the younger boy somehow managed not to fall although he couldn’t stand properly because of the pain. As he was trying to get into an upright position, Brandon punched him into his stomach so that Louis couldn’t keep the balance. Before he fell, Brandon gave him a strong hook to the chin, kicked his foot into his stomach again and caused Louis to fall hard onto the concrete for the second time.

 

That was the last thing Louis remembered. When he regained consciousness, he found himself in the nursery room. The bright lights were blinding him, every part of his body hurt terribly from Brandon’s assault. Louis’ heart nearly stopped beating when he recognized Harry sitting on a chair next to him. Although everything around him was still blurry, he could clearly recognize his silhouette. Was this a dream? When he moved, Louis felt the pain everywhere so it wasn’t a dream. There was a light burning on his arm too. The boy moved his head and saw Harry dabbing Louis’ wounds with a soft cloth. It hurt what made Louis shift uncomfortably.

“What are you . . .” Louis tried to lift his head but Harry put his warm hand onto his forehead and pushed it back carefully.

“Don’t talk now,” Harry said. “Lie down again and try to relax. Sorry for hurting you even more but I don’t want you to get a wound infection so try to bear it as good as you can.”

Louis didn’t respond but endured the procedure. Harry’s touch felt amazing although the iodine hurt as hell.

 


	30. Harry's apartement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry takes care of Louis.

Louis couldn’t remember what happened then. Maybe it was because of the pain or the smell of the iodine that he passed out again. This time he found himself on the sofa in Harry’s office. Harry was on the phone when Louis slowly opened his eyes. He felt dizzy and his head was aching horribly. Louis caught up some lines from the phone call.

“Yes, I’ll bring it . . . alright . . . I’ll be home in about one hour or so . . . don’t . . . I love you too.” When he ended the call, Harry hung up and walked over to Louis.

“Oh, you’re awake. Thank god. How are you feeling?”

“I've got headache and everything still hurts,” Louis said with a husky voice, trying to cough.

Harry carefully touched Louis’ forehead. “You could have a temperature,” he said and removed his hand slowly.

His touch was so gentle and felt so nice although Louis wasn’t feeling well at all. His stomach fluttered and his heart was hammering in his chest.

“Do you remember who did that to you?” Harry asked.

“It was Brandon,” Louis answered and coughed again.

“We should tell the head teacher.”

“No, don’t tell him!” Louis was scared. “If Brandon finds out that I said something, he’ll probably do something worse the next time!”

Harry sat down next to Louis. He folded his hands and rested the elbows on his knees.

“Brandon has to be punished, Louis.” He pushed his hair back and pressed his lips together. “What he did was clearly bodily harm and it wasn’t an accident. Look at you!” Harry’s voice was very serious. “You have bruises all over your body and you’ve been bleeding!” Louis looked at Harry pitifully. Harry sighted. “But I’ll see what I can do. I don’t want you to get hurt again.” Louis just nodded and turned his head away. “Do you want me to drive you home? I’m sure your mum is worried about you.”

“There’s no one at home for two days,” Louis told Harry.

“That’s always good, isn’t it?” his teacher smiled.

Then he got up, shut down the computer and took his bag while Louis was trying to get on his feet again. It was a little difficult to walk because of the pain but he managed it somehow. In addition, the boy felt very weak and he had the impression that he was getting ill. Louis shivered when the cold wind hit him outside.

When Harry’s car approached Louis’ home, Louis started looking for his keys but couldn’t find them.

“My keys aren’t here!” Louis panicked. Where had he put them? Had Louis left them on the cupboard this morning? He couldn’t remember anything.

Harry turned off the motor of his car. “Don’t hurry. Have a look again.”

Louis got out of the car and nervously emptied his school bag on the seat but the keys were nowhere to be found.

“When will they come home?” Harry asked.

“Sunday.” Louis covered his face. It wasn’t just the shock about the keys. He also felt really weak and if he had the chance he would have lyed down in his bed. There was silence between both of them until Harry spoke.

“If you like you could stay at my house until your family returns?” Harry suggested.

Louis didn’t say anything at first. “Or do you prefer sleeping outside? I also have a tent to borrow . . .” the man said jokingly.

“Oh no . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . well . . . I’m not sure if I can . . . I mean . . .” Louis stammered.

Harry smiled. “It’s not a big deal. My apartment is big enough,” he said. “And you’re welcome.”

“Thank you,” Louis answered quietly and put his belongings back into his bag.

He couldn’t believe that he was about to spend the weekend with his teacher. But when he thought of the child safety seat that was in the back of the car, Louis’ anticipation lowered rapidly. During the journey to his home Louis almost fell asleep because he felt so weak and tired. Harry parked his car outside of a modern, white building that was surrounded by a nice garden and brown picket fence.

“Here we are. I live on third floor.”

When Harry unlocked the entrance door, a little blonde girl ran towards him.

“Annie!” Harry gave her a kiss on the nose. “How are you, cutie?”

The girl giggled and tugged at Harry’s hair.

“Harry? I bought everything you said and . . .” A tall young woman appeared in the corridor. She stopped talking and turned towards Louis. “Oh, you brought a guest?” she asked Harry and walked toward Louis. “I’m Laura. Nice to meet you!” she greeted him with a warm smile.”

“I’m Louis.” he said timidly.

Laura gave Harry a little kiss on the cheek and hugged him. What a lovely family, Louis thought and tried to ignore the burn in his heart.

“Okay, so as I told you, I bought food for you. It’s all in the kitchen. Annie needs her sleep and I think she’s getting ill too,” Laura explained. “We should go now.” Laura took Annie out of Harry’s arms and gave her a kiss. Then she tucked a loose stand behind Annie’s ear. “She’s a little too hot, I'm worried.” Laura sighted and stroked her daughter’s hair again.

Harry did the same and nodded. “I hope she’ll get well soon. Thank you for everything.” He smiled at Laura and caressed her arm.

“Don’t thank me, you’re more than welcome,” Laura answered and put Annie back on the floor to dress her.

When they were gone, Harry turned towards Louis. ”I’m sorry that I didn’t pay attention to you. You can put your things here,” Harry said and pointed at his coat hook. “Please give me you jacket.”

“But I don’t want to disturb you and your family,” Louis said quietly while he was rubbing his arms because he felt so cold all of a sudden.

Harry put Louis’ jacket on a coat hanger and smiled. “Oh no, you aren’t disturbing me. Laura is one of my best friends and she sometimes helps me out when I’m too busy.”

So she wasn’t his wife? That meant Louis would actually be alone with Harry? Louis got nervous again. Harry showed Louis his apartment. The furniture was mostly a mixture between old and new pieces. The floor was made of dark wood. It looked perfect in combination with his furniture and gave his apartment a warm atmosphere. Harry’s walls were decorated with a lot of posters and pictures. Louis liked the apartment. It was very cosy.

“Do you feel any better?” the man wanted to know.

The boy shook his head. He was just pulling himself together in front of Harry because he didn’t want to seem rude. Harry put his hand against Louis forehead again. “You’re still hot. You can have my bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa,” he said.

“But I don’t have clothes here and I don’t want to disturb . . .”

Harry interrupted him quickly. “Don’t argue.” He put his hand onto Louis’ shoulder. “I’ll give you fresh clothes and I’ll be fine with the sofa. Just worry about yourself now. If you need something just tell me.”

Harry’s green eyes caused Louis to look away because they were so beautiful and his gaze so piercing. He cared so much and his charisma captured Louis completely that it made his stomach flutter.

“You can take a shower if you like. You’ll find fresh towels in the bathroom.”

Louis followed him into the bedroom. The man went over to his wardrobe and gave Louis a pile of clothes. “These should be okay,” he said. “They will be a little bit too big but at least they’re clean.”

Louis thanked his teacher and went into the bathroom to have a hot shower. He used to do this at home when he was feeling ill so he thought maybe it was a good idea. The boy’s condition had gotten worse within the last hour. After Louis had taken the shower, he snuggled under the thick covers of Harry’s king size bed. Although the covers were incredibly thick, Louis’s body was trembling. It was so cold. The boy closed his eyes.

After a while, Harry came into the room, a cup of tea in his hand. He put the cup onto the bedside table and sat down next to Louis. He handed him a thermometer and it wasn’t a surprise that Louis had a temperature.

“I’m freezing,” Louis whispered. “It’s so cold.”

“I’m so sorry. But at least you don’t have to be alone,” Harry said with his calm voice. “I’ll take care of you.”

He touched Louis’ cheek slightly before he got Louis some medicine. It tasted horrible but Louis was in such a miserable stat that he was ready to do anything just to have the slightest hope of getting better.

“Try to sleep now. It’s the best thing you can do,” Harry said and stroked Louis’ head carefully.

Then he switched off the lights and closed the door. Louis didn’t want Harry to leave. He wanted him to stay until he fell asleep but could he ask for that? It was surreal enough that he was in his bed. The boy felt ashamed for his thoughts. He let out a sigh, turned around and closed his eyes.

 


	31. A weekend at Harry's

Louis didn’t feel much better when he woke up the next morning. His headache was nearly gone but he still felt rheumatic pain all over his body, especially in his legs. His body was also aching from Brandon’s assault. Louis sighted. He was still tired but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t fall asleep again. They boy turned his head and looked out of the window. The nature around the house was beautiful although the trees had almost lost all of their leaves. There was a thin layer of hoar frost all over the place and in a distance he could see the little Holmes Chapel forest that was covered in light grey fog. The boy looked at the beauty in front of him and enjoyed the silence.

For a few seconds he even managed to forget about his illness and injuries but then a terrible coughing fit brought him back to his actual state. Louis felt so sick that he whimpered quietly. He couldn’t control the sounds that were leaving his mouth, not at all. It just happened because he was suffering so much. The boy pulled the covers closer to his body because he was freezing again but it didn’t help much. It seemed he still had a temperature, not that bad as it was yesterday but still worse. After a certain period of time, Louis managed to fall asleep finally.

When he opened his eyes again, Harry was sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. Louis pulled the cover under his chin, turned to the left and looked at Harry.

“Hey,” Harry whispered. “Do you feel any better?”

Louis coughed as tears were running down his cheeks as he shook his head. “Not really.” His voice was hoarse. “I’m still freezing and my body hurts.” Louis closed his eyes because he was too weak to hold them open for a longer period of time.

Harry put his hand onto Louis’ forehead. His touch caused the feeling in the pit of his stomach to increase. It was so nice to feel Harry’s warm hand on his forehead and Louis hoped that he’d never take it away. “I’m sure you’re still having a temperature. I thought it would be better after some sleep but obviously it’s not.”

Louis was too weak to answer. He took the medicine Harry gave him and fell asleep within the next minutes again.

When Louis woke up for the second time this Saturday, the room was almost completely dark. Only a little light was shining vaguely through the end of the curtains. Louis could hear a constant buzzing until he noticed it came from his bag. His mum was calling him.

Louis didn’t want her to worry about him so he tried his best not to sound ill when he talked. Jay just wanted to tell Louis she would come home on Sunday evening. He had to tell his mum about the keys but he couldn’t tell her where he really was so he lied to her that he was staying at Nathan’s house. Louis told her about the keys and she didn’t seem to mind. The boy usually didn’t lie but this was an exception, definitely. After the call, he stretched and rubbed his eyes. It was a little miracle but Louis felt way better after sleeping again. He didn’t feel that cold anymore and his state wasn’t as worse as it had been in the morning. The boy got up and went out of the bedroom. He found Harry sitting on the sofa, reading a book.

“Hi. Are you feeling better now?’ Harry asked and looked up from his book.

Louis nodded. “At least it isn’t as worse as it was this morning. I still feel a little weak but my head isn’t aching anymore and I think the temperature is nearly gone.”

Harry smiled and pointed to the other end of the sofa. “Take a seat and wrap yourself in the blanket. I’ll bring you some tea with honey if you like. Are you hungry? I could also make you a sandwich or something.”

“I’d love that,” Louis smiled. Harry was so nice to him and he nearly felt bad to accept the offer.

While Harry was away, Louis looked around the room. It was held in white, brown and beige colors. A small fire was lit in the beautiful brick fireplace. A fluffy crème carpet was placed on the wooden floor. Louis felt very comfortable in Harry’s apartment, maybe more than he probably should. After a while, the man came back with the tea and a huge sandwich. He poured some tea into a cup and handed it to Louis.

“I made you a ham sandwich with eggs, cucumber, salad and mayonnaise. I hope you’ll like it,” Harry said with a smile.

The sandwich looked delicious and Louis realized that he was starving. “You even toasted the buns!” he said happily. “Thank you so much.”

Harry gave Louis a small smile. “Enjoy and if you need more food, just tell me,” he offered. He lit two huge candles on table in front of the brown chesterfield sofa. “I hope you like vanilla scented candles,” Harry said and put the lighter away.

Louis just stared at Harry and watched every of his moves. He couldn’t believe he was here with him. He was so beautiful, even in his grey sweatpants and his plain black jumper he looked adorable, in contrast to him. He was probably looking miserable. Louis took a sip of his tea and put the cup back onto the table while Harry sat down at the other end of the sofa again.

“I’m happy you have an appetite,” Harry smiled at Louis who was clearly enjoying his sandwich.

“This  is so delicious!” Louis said with his mouth full.

Harry chuckled. “Would you like to watch a movie later?” he suggested.

“I’d love to. What time is it?”

“Seven,” Harry answered and pointed towards the clock.

“I’ve been sleeping the whole day. . .” Louis remarked with a sigh.

“If the result is that you’re feeling better now it was worth it, don’t you think so?”

“Sure. What kind of movies do you have?”

Harry went over to the wooden chest that was standing next to the fireplace. He opened it with a squeaky sound and pulled out some DVDs to choose from. Before they started to watch a thriller, Louis decided to take a shower first. He didn’t feel comfortable in his sweaty shirt he wore for the night. When Louis came back, Harry was working in the kitchen. “I thought you still might be hungry so I made us some burgers.”

“You’re so nice to me, thank you,” Louis said politely. “I don’t deserve all this.”

Harry just smiled at him. “I want my guests to feel good. Plus, you’re still a bit ill so it’s a pleasure if it helps you to get well soon.”

After eating, Louis wrapped himself into the soft blanket again. He was still feeling a little bit cold, even if he wore one of Harry’s probably warmest jumpers. During the movie, Louis sometimes tried to gaze at Harry for a few seconds. The boy couldn’t believe how pretty this man was. His profile was quite prominent, his cheekbones were so defined, his hair looked so soft and his lips were curved beautifully. When their eyes met for a second, Louis blushed and turned his head away quickly.

When the movie had finished, Harry went over to the recorder and switched it off. The room was only lit by the fire in the fireplace, a little paper lamp in a corner and the candles on the table. When he got back to his place, Harry took his cup into his hands and looked over to the younger boy.

“What are you thinking of?” he asked Louis.

His voice was raspy, low and the sexiest thing Louis had ever heard. Oh god. He got a fright from his own thoughts and felt ashamed.

“Oh it’s . . . it’s nothing.” Louis stammered while he twisted the cup in his hands. The fire in the fireplace was crackling quietly.

“Then tell me something about you I don’t know yet,” Harry suggested.

Louis just stared at him. What could basically be interesting about a 17 year old school boy? The boy couldn’t even believe he was sitting next to Harry but that’s where he was. He was in his apartment, on his sofa. Louis told Harry about his dad again but put more details into the story. After Louis had finished talking, the man put his cup away.

“Come with me, Louis. I want to show you something beautiful,” Harry said and made a gesture for Louis to follow. “Don’t forget your blanket,” he added while he opened the door that led to his small balcony.

Louis took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh air while he sat down on the small wooden bench. He covered his body with the warm blanket. What a beautiful view it was. Louis could see a lot of stars in the sky that illuminated the dark silhouettes of the trees nearby. The dark was broken by the street lights of the villages around Holmes Chapel. Harry got himself another blanket from inside and sat down next to the boy. Louis wished Harry would sit a little bit closer but he didn’t. Louis closed his eyes for a few seconds to enjoy the silence.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Harry asked Louis quietly.

“It is,” Louis answered with a whisper, bringing his knees closer to his body.

As they were sitting there, gazing at the stars and inhaling the fresh air, Louis felt the need to tell Harry how he felt about him. He wanted to be close to him, to nuzzle close to his chest and to feel his warm hand on his body again. A nervous feeling crawled up his body when Harry slightly touched Louis’ knee with his accidentally when he changed his seating position. Louis looked over to Harry who gave him a small smile. His gaze caused Louis’ stomach to twitch in a pleasant way. Was this the feeling he had missed all the time? Was this the feeling he was waiting for?

“Last year we went camping with my old class. In the evening, we used to lay down by the nearby lake and look at the night sky. I wasn’t aware of all that beauty before,” Harry said into the dark.

And there it was, the reminder that Louis could never get closer to Harry. He was his teacher and Louis was his student, easy as that. Louis wasn’t here because it was planned. Maybe Harry was just nice because he was a nice person in general. Maybe he would have done this to any other student too. Louis placed his head on his his bent knees and closed his eyes.

 


	32. Almost blown up

The next morning Louis felt much better than the day before. He didn’t feel unnaturally cold anymore what indicated that the temperature was gone completely. Louis decided to get up and take a shower. When he stepped into the bathroom, he saw Harry standing there, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Oh . . . sorry . . . I . . . I didn’t . . .” Louis stammered embarrassed while he placed one hand in front of his mouth.

“Good morning, Louis,” Harry answered. “I have to be sorry. I forgot to lock the door because usually I don’t and . . . well, I just forgot. Don’t worry about it,” he smiled and made a gesture. “You can stop looking at me like that.”

Louis blushed. The shock of bursting into the bathroom was apparently written on Louis’ face because of Harry’s reaction. It wasn’t just the shock that made him stand there as if he was rooted to the spot, it was Harry. The boy was totally impressed by the man who looked absolutely stunning. His body was beautiful, not too muscular but toned at the same time. A lot of tattoos were spread on his topless torso and his arms he had never seen before. The towel was placed so low that Louis was afraid it could fall down every other second and he could spot Harry’s prominent v-lines. His skin was sparkling because of the water drops that were still falling from his wet hair as he pushed it back in his usual coolness.

And then it happened. As Harry was fixing his towel, Louis felt a slight change in his lower abdomen. His bulge grew all of a sudden and Louis couldn’t control it at all. He was so nervous about everything and the almost naked man in front of him wouldn’t help. It just happened while he was looking at Harry, just like that. The boy tried to cover his excitement with the clothes he was holding in his hands. It’s not that he hadn’t seen completely naked girls already but they never had this effect on him. What the hell was that?

“Just come in, I’ve already finished,” Harry said quickly while was toweling his hair. Louis stepped in insecurely. “If you like, you can have your shower now,” he said, walked off the room and closed the door.

Louis exhaled loudly. He was so glad that Harry hadn’t noticed anything but what the fuck was that? Harry was the first man who caused Louis’ body to react like that. He couldn’t even remember if he had ever thought about someone being sexy but when Louis saw Harry, sexy was the first word that came to his mind. Luckily Louis’ bulge disappeared right after he had showered with cold water and he was relieved that he didn’t have to touch himself here in Harry’s apartment. Only the thought of it caused Louis to blush tremendously, although Harry wasn’t even in the bathroom.

 

While Louis put his clothes on in the bedroom, he checked his phone simultaneously and lost balance. He stumbled onto the bed, let his phone fall on the floor and Louis’ left foot gave it an unintentional push so that it slid under Harry’s bedside table. Louis tried to get it but it was quite difficult because the space he had to put his hand through was quite narrow. Suddenly his hand touched something else. Louis reached for it and pulled it out a frame holding a photo. The boy blew away the dust and saw four persons in the picture: Harry, Laura, Annie and another man, probably Annie’s dad. Louis went out of the bedroom and found Harry in the kitchen.

“I found something in your bedroom,” Louis said and showed Harry the picture.

The man cleaned his hands quickly, took the frame and looked at it for a few seconds.

“Oh, where was it?” he asked.

“It was under the bedside table. My phone slipped down there, that’s why I found it.”

Harry nodded. “Thank you. And I’ve always wondered about where it could be,” he said and shook his head. Then he put it away.

When Harry and Louis had breakfast, they talked about random things and surprisingly Louis didn’t feel strange or uncomfortable around him at all. There was never a strange pause during their conversation like it would happen with other people.

 After breakfast, Louis helped Harry to clean the dishes. He wondered if he should ask him who the man on the photo was but decided against it. Although Louis wanted to stay, he thought it was better to leave. The boy was afraid that his family might come home earlier and his little lie could be discovered in case if his mum made a wrong phone call. Also, Louis wasn’t sure if Harry wanted him to stay any longer. The boy thanked Harry for everything and went home after breakfast.

His family came home earlier so he didn’t have to spend the whole afternoon sitting on the cold stairs. They all prepared dinner together and the twin sisters told Louis every second of their weekend. After dinner, the twins wanted to watch a movie with their older brother. It was nice for Louis to have them around again but he wasn’t as happy as he should have been. Phoebe seemed to notice.

“Are you sad, Louis?” she whispered into the boy’s ear while she wrapped her tiny arms around his neck.

“Why do you think so?” the older sibling whispered back into her ear.

 “You look sad,” she whispered again and squeezed her brother a little.

Louis placed a kiss on her hair. Before he could answer, the doorbell rang. His mum opened and Louis could hear a familiar male voice. They were too far away to understand what they were talking about but he could hear some scraps of conversation. Nathan. What if his mum found out that he didn’t spend the weekend at Nathan’s house? Hopefully he wouldn’t give Louis away who got up quickly and walked to the door.

“Hey Louis!” his friend said awkwardly.

“Hi,” Louis replied and greeted him. “Nice that you’re here. Let’s go upstairs.” Louis said and pulled Nathan away quickly.

 

“Can you please tell me what you’ve been up to this weekend? Your mum has just thanked me for letting you stay at my house?” Nathan growled when they were in Louis’ room.

“It’s complicated.” Louis’ mouth was almost dry.

Nathan placed his hands on both of Louis’ shoulders and a huge smile appeared on his face. “Awww, I know. Were you at Eleanor’s or Jen’s’ secretly?” the taller boy smirked at Louis who shook his head. “Come on, don’t lie to me Tomlinson. So if it was that, it’s fine. But tell me next time so it will be easier for me to help you out in case if I should have to.”

Nathan’s words caused Louis to smile because the offer was nice although he wasn’t sure if he would ever do it again. “Oh . . . well, thanks but . . . it wasn’t that,” Louis said. “Do you really think I would spend the weekend with Jen although she’s with Taylor?”

Nathan made a gesture. “Oh my god no, I totally forgot about them,” he laughed. “Although I’m still not convinced they’re officially dating but I think that’s none of our business, isn’t it.” Nathan shrugged. “Anyway, just tell me next time. Your little lie was almost about to blow up.”

 


	33. School days

Louis was very nervous when he went to school on Monday because of two reasons: Harry Styles and Nathan Hollow. The first lesson was English what meant Louis would be confronted with Harry right away. He wished he had someone he could talk to, someone who would understand what Louis was going through, someone he could trust with this issue. But maybe it was the best not to tell anybody at school because this could really end in a very embarrassing disaster for him and his teacher.

While waiting, Louis crossed his arms on the table and looked out of the window. What if someone would notice something? What if Harry regretted that he let Louis spend the weekend at his house? Louis’ nerves were completely strained when he saw his teacher walking into the classroom. Memories came to his mind immediately. How Harry’s warm hands felt on his skin, how beautiful his eyes were, Harry’s lower body covered with a towel only, his v-lines, his tattoos and his smell.

Louis’ heart was pounding like crazy when Harry entered the room and walked towards the desk to sit down. The boy caught himself staring at the man who was flipping through a book. His teacher looked so good this morning, holy shit. His curly hair was fluffy, hanging loose to his shoulders. His shirt wasn’t buttoned completely what revealed some parts of his large butterfly tattoo he had inked onto his chest. Harry’s skinny jeans were so tight that Louis could almost see the outline of his . . .

Louis felt hot and cold at the same time. What was he thinking? It wasn’t right to have these thoughts towards a teacher, was it? Louis put his elbows on the table and placed his hand onto his forehead.

“Tomlinson, are you okay?”

Louis got a tremendous fright because Nathan snapped his fingers next to his ear.

“Hello?” he asked again.

Louis nodded although he wasn’t sure if Nathan would believe him. He tried not to focus on Harry that much because he didn’t want to act obvious. The class continued reading the book and started to write an essay about the current chapter. The topic was really touching and the working atmosphere was a good one.

Louis couldn’t concentrate on his work because of Harry. He wondered if he missed him as well. Louis sighted and looked out of the window. No, probably not. Why should he. Louis couldn’t read anything from Harry’s behavior because he was acting professional, as usual. The teacher made no difference between him and the other students. He treated Louis like everybody else. Instead of working, Louis was lost in thought about the weekend with Harry.

 

Louis’ friends noticed something was wrong with him but Louis didn’t want to talk about it and tried to act as normal as possible when they were around. He told them he was sad because his dad still wouldn’t answer his calls. It wasn’t exactly a lie but also not the whole truth.

Because the girls were mostly around Eleanor, Louis spent a lot of time with Jennifer, Taylor and Nathan. Louis liked Jennifer. She was fun and she was there for him when he needed a friend. Of course, Jennifer couldn’t compare to Eleanor but Louis had to admit that he felt good when she was around.

“Are you coming to the party on Friday evening?” she asked Louis a few days earlier.

Louis didn’t know if he should go because partying was the last thing on his mind these days. Jennifer rubbed his back slightly.

“Hey, you should come. It’s always fun and maybe it’s a possibility to have a break from your problems.”

Maybe she was right. Louis promised her to think about it at least.

 

 


	34. Getting ready for the party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan's sister Jonah helps Louis and Nathan to get ready for the party.

Harry and Louis hadn’t talked outside the classroom for almost two weeks. Louis started to realize that the weekend he had spent with Harry must have really been just an exception. He also wasn’t among the visitors at the pitch anymore.

The party weekend was coming up and Louis really considered going there to distract himself. After training, Nathan and Louis met his older sister Jonah who offered to help the boys with the styling for the party. First they went to Louis’ house to pick a suitable outfit for him. When the three of them were about to climb the stairs to Louis’ room, they met Fizzy. Jonah told her what they’ve been up to.

“What a great idea, Jonah. Maybe you can help Louis to attract some nice ladies tonight!” she said, blowing Louis a kiss jokingly.

“Thanks. Could you stop acting as if I was dressed like a homeless person?” Louis snapped.

“Show me your girlfriend then!” Fizzy said provokingly. Louis shook his head and pulled a face.

“See?” she said amused. “No girlfriend. Do your best Jonah and pull those jeans off him!”

Nathan and Jonah laughed about Fizzy’s comment while Louis was quite annoyed. He liked his style, it was comfy and simple. He sometimes wore skinny jeans but he just didn’t like them very much. Plus, his baggy jeans were more comfortable for skateboarding.

Before Fizzy went away, she put an arm around her brother’s shoulders. “I will spend the night with my boyfriend. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know your next girlfriend tonight?” she whispered into his ear.

Louis didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. “Fuck off,” he mumbled and pushed her away. Fizzy wanted to ruffle through Louis’ hair but Louis ducked his head.

“Have fun with your boyfriend,” Louis mocked Fizzy and flipped her off but she just laughed and went into the bathroom.

“Come on, let’s get things started,” Jonah said impatiently and pushed Louis into his room.  

She pulled almost all clothes out of Louis’ wardrobe and spread them onto the bed.

“I thought your strategy would be a little bit more professional.” Louis smirked and shook his head.

“My strategy _is_ professional,” Jonah answered while she was rooting through the clothes.

Nathan sat down at the desk and flickered through some skating magazines.

“What about this?” Jonah asked, holding a black suit and a white buttoned shirt in her hands.

 “Are you kidding me? Oh no, Jo, no. I won’t wear that,” Louis hesitated. “I hate suits. Plus, I’m not going to a funeral.”

Jonah pulled a sad face for fun. “But what about if you wore a casual t-shirt under the blazer? This one seems cool, black and white.”

“Please don’t torture me with that. I hate suits and I’ll probably rip it off the first second and I don’t want to be dressed like a penguin,” Louis muttered and pulled a disgusted face.

Jonah put the suit away and gave Louis a pat. “Okay then,” she agreed. “What about this outfit?” This time, Jonah held some skinny black jeans in one hand and a black shirt with a red irregular lettering in the other. “Put that on, I’d really like to see how you look wearing this.”

Louis frowned.

“Come on Louis, don’t be lazy. We want to find you a girlfriend tonight, eh?” she winked at him. “You should look good, no . . . amazing tonight!” the girl said and handed Louis the clothes.

Louis rolled his eyes for fun what made her laugh.

“Okay, give me the clothes,” he muttered, put the clothes on and completed the outfit with his black Vans.

“You look good, Louis. But it’s not perfect yet.” Jonah snapped her fingers twice. “There’s something missing, something that makes you look more mature . . . something that gets the ladies’ attention.”

Louis exhaled loudly. “I’m not going there on a special purpose, Jo. Remember that. I just want to have fun and look halfway good.”

Jonah signaled her refusal while she continued rooting through the pile of clothes. “Oh, I have an idea!” she yelled excitedly.

Nathan grinned because of her enthusiasm and Louis’ annoyance.

“Please try that outfit on. Look, these crème jeans and the blue buttoned shirt with this white pattern totally fit! The cute little collar is nice too,” she smiled happily.

Louis groaned. Trying on clothes had never been Louis’ favorite thing to do. “This is torture,” he said half laughing, half whining as he tried on the new outfit he’d never choose for himself. This time Louis put on his white Vans with the outfit.

“Oh my god Louis, you look fantastic! This outfit is the right one, just look at you!” Jonah yelled and pushed the boy in front of the mirror. “You look like a model!”

Louis looked at himself. “Okay, it doesn’t look bad, I have to admit.”

“Not bad?” Jonah moaned. “It looks great! I’ve never seen you in that kind of shirt, it looks fantastic, amazing. Wait until I get your hair done.” Jonah looked over to Nathan who still was flickering through the magazines. “What do you think, Nathan? Doesn’t he look good?”

Nathan turned around and agreed in a neutral tone. “Yeah it’s fine.”

Jonah laughed. “Jesus, please don’t be too excited.” She shook her head, almost laughing. “You guys are freaking me out. I don’t know if I should say that but . . . Louis, you look damn cute,” Jo said, showing Louis her thumbs up. Jonah threw a dark blue jumper at him. “In case if it gets cold you can put that on.”

“Yeah, I like that outfit. Thank you, Jo.” Louis looked at himself in the mirror again and thought he really looked good. “I just have to adjust to it but I like it.”

 

Then they went to Nathan’s to get him dressed too. After Jonah picked Nathans’s outfit she styled Louis’ hair. She was a professional hairdresser and did really well. Louis had to admit that he had never looked that good. His hair wasn’t flat anymore. It was ruffled and transformed into a real hairstyle.

“The girls will love you.” Jonah said as she was fixing Louis’ hair with hairspray. “And look, it’s not even difficult to style your hair that way.”

“I like it very much,” Louis answered. “Am I done?”

 “Hm . . . well, I wondered if . . . I wondered if I could try something else out on you?”

Louis shrugged his shoulders. “Depends on what it is.”

“I’d like to put makeup on your face just to try how it would look like.”

“What?” Louis yelled. “You want to put makeup on my face? I’m not a girl!”

Nathan laughed out loudly but Jonah gave him a light push.

“No, no, no, don’t be afraid. I know you’re not a girl but I could make you look even better. Please, let me have a try? You can wash it off if you don’t like the result.” She looked at Louis with wide puppy eyes. “Please, Lou, please!” she pleaded.

“How could I resist on you.” Louis sighted.

Nathan looked amused. “Finally you found someone who’s also interested in makeup. So you could . . .” Nathan couldn’t finish his sentence because Louis was interrupting him immediately.

“Are you insane? I’m not interested in makeup!” Louis shouted at his friend.

“Calm down buddy, it was just a joke,” Nathan chuckled.

Louis glared at his friend.

“Wait until you see him. You’ll beg me to put makeup on your face too but I won’t because then it will be too late! Ha!” Jonah said full of self-confidence but Nathan just laughed at her and tapped his forehead.

The girl gave Louis a small mirror when she had finished. “Look at you!” she said proudly. “Look how pretty you look!”

When Louis saw his face, he was truly amazed by the result. Indeed, his skin was soft and smooth. His eyelashes were so dense and long but it was really discreet and not exaggerated at all. “Wow thank you. I wasn’t expecting that at all,” Louis said astounded and gave Jonah a hug. “Thank you so much!”

“Thank you for your courage!” Jonah said and smiled at the boy.

“I thought it might look gay at first but it doesn’t. Well done, sister,” Nathan said jokingly and hugged her too.

Nathan’s words made Louis’s cheeks flush and he felt caught although Nathan had no idea. Jonah slapped his head gently.

“Stop talking shit.”

Nathan laughed again when they walked out of the room.

 


	35. The party I

When Louis and his friends arrived at school it was already dark. Muffled sounds could be heard from the inside of the main building where the party took place. It wasn’t too late yet so the dancefloors weren’t very crowded and the party wasn’t in full swing.

There were several bars and dance floors spread around the building, everything was decorated lovely and special colored lights were installed on different spots. One of the best rooms was the so called chill out lounge. The lights were dimmed inside the room and the atmosphere was amazingly calm and cosy.

Violet arrows led the way to the basement. The chill out lounge was a huge room that was furnished with comfy dark sofas and a couple of black and violet beanbags. The walls were hung up with dark violet curtains, partly decorated with beautiful light chains. Pillows were placed everywhere and there were blankets put on a cupboard next to the door that led on the terrace where people could sit too. Relaxing music was playing very quietly in the background.

“Hopefully we’ll meet nice girls tonight so we can really use this room,” Nathan smiled.

“It would be nice to come here with Ha . . .” Louis stopped talking immediately. By a hair’s breadth he would have said his name.

“Sorry?” Nathan asked.

“It’s nothing,” Louis replied and blushed slightly what made Nathan laugh.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Nathan said while he put an arm around Louis’ shoulders. “Just take it easy. I’m sure there’s definitely something going on in here tonight,” he smirked as they walked out of the room and straight towards the bar next to the lounge.

Suddenly, Louis heard someone calling his name. He turned around and saw Jen and Emma walking towards them. Jen surprisingly kissed Louis on the cheek.

“Wow Louis, you look so hot!” she said surprised and touched his arm gently. “Turn around,” she ordered. “Oh my god, Louis! Look at that bum of yours! It’s a shame you’re not showing it more often!”

Her friend chuckled. “That buttoned shirt is suits you quite well,” Emma complimented Louis.

Louis didn’t like to be the center of attention so he started a chat with the girls until they left. He hadn’t noticed that Nathan wasn’t there anymore. The boy looked around to find his friend but he was nowhere to be seen. Louis bought himself a drink and walked upstairs again. On his way to the first floor he met a few boys from the football team who were accompanied by girls. They all complimented Louis on his new look what made him incredibly proud. What if Harry was here too? Would he like his outfit? Harry. The party hadn’t even started and Louis’ thoughts were already with him. Didn’t he choose to go to the party to distract himself from his thoughts? Louis walked outside to get some fresh air.

A few minutes later, Louis’ phone buzzed. It was Jen who wanted to know where he was. When he hung up, Louis spotted Eleanor, Chloe and Lauren walking towards the entrance of the building. It was dark so Louis hoped they wouldn’t see him because he didn’t want to talk to Eleanor. He got used to their lack of contact but still felt quite guilty every time he saw her. She looked sad. Her body language wasn’t the same as usual. Louis used to know her as a chatty, funny girl but recently she expressed none of that anymore. Soon Jen arrived and gave Louis a hug again. After the boy had finished his drink, he gave the cup back, bought another one and walked over to the restrooms.

The building got more crowded and it took him a long time to make his way to the restrooms. Sweaty bodies were pressing against his all the time. People were trying to balance their drinks as they danced. The music was playing loudly and Louis felt the bass pumping through his body while he was pushing through the crowd. When he turned around a corner, he suddenly bumped into someone.

“Fuck!” Louis yelled.

When the person turned around, he froze. Eleanor stood in front of him, staring at him with empty eyes. The boy’s heart dropped immediately when he saw her face. She looked tired and exhausted.

“Louis?” Eleanor’s voice sounded weak. Louis missed the sparkle in her eyes that he used to love so much.

“El, how . . .” Louis couldn’t finish his sentence because someone rushed towards them and pushed him away from her harshly.

It was Brandon. When Louis recognized him, he immediately got frightened. He didn’t know if he would knock him out again, especially after he caught him talking to Eleanor so Louis took a step back against the wall. Brandon’s face was red and his eyes were bloodshot as he started yelling at him.

“Fuck you, Louis! Did or didn’t I tell you to leave her alone?” he yelled at him. “I don’t want to see you next to her! Fuck off!” Brandon grabbed Louis’ collar what made him cough hardly. “Stay away from her,” he hissed as pushed the boy against the cold wall. Brandon smelled like smoke, alcohol and weed. “I mean it.”

He let go of Louis, grabbed Eleanor’s arm and pushed her behind himself. Louis was shocked how he was treating her and broke his silence.

“What’s your problem, Brandon?” Louis yelled back at him. The bravery probably came from the alcohol. “Eleanor is my friend and I don’t want you to treat her like this!” Eleanor’s eyes got big and there was no doubt she was frightened too.

Brandon came close to Louis’ face again. “Shut the fuck up you little prick! Get your shit together and don’t you dare to getting close to Eleanor again!” He was so pissed and his voice was so loud that Louis screwed up his eyes. Brandon put his hand around Louis’ neck and pulled him closer. “You should remember our last meeting. Better run because I might change my mind in a few seconds,” he slurred, grabbed the fabric of Louis’ shirt and pushed him against the cold wall again. “Move,” he ordered, grabbed Eleanor’s wrist and pulled her away quickly. Brandon was frightening Louis so much that he didn’t dare to follow him and Eleanor.

 

When Louis got out of the building, he looked for his friends but he couldn’t find them anywhere so he decided to walk around a little bit. The main floor was incredibly crowded what made it difficult to move fast. Suddenly Louis felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Lauren.

“Wow Louis, you look amazing!” she yelled in surprise and hugged Louis. “What happened to your hair? I love it!” she squealed happily.

“You look pretty too, thank you,” Louis smiled.

“Stop it or I’ll blush,” his friend laughed. “I lost Eleanor and Chloe, have you seen them lately?”

Louis shook his head because he didn’t want to mention Brandon and Eleanor. “I haven’t.”

“Do you want to grab a cocktail with me?” Lauren pointed at Louis’ empty cup. “I’ll pay for you. You’re invited,” she smiled.

The friends made their way through the crowd, bought two cocktails and went back on the dancefloor.

“I can’t believe how pretty you look tonight,” Lauren said after a while, taking a sip of her cup.

“Thank you again.” Louis answered with a wink. “So do you.”

The boy already felt already felt a little tipsy because of the alcohol. He also wondered why he wasn’t asked for his identity because he was clearly underage. Maybe they didn’t take it that seriously at those parties, who knew. Louis and Lauren danced a little and enjoyed their time.

Suddenly Louis felt someone touching his hips from behind. He felt hands sliding down to his bum, squeezing it. Louis turned around in confusion and was surprised to see Jennifer standing behind him.

“Jennifer!” Louis yelled out.

“Yeah it’s me again!” she said with a smirk and got on her tippy toes. “You have the nicest bum in these jeans. Sorry for touching you but I just couldn’t resist,” she whispered into Louis’ ear. “How’s the party so far?” she asked with a flirty voice and tugged her long brown hair behind her ears. “Can I invite you for another drink?’ she asked, pointing at Louis’ half empty cup.

“Let me just finish this one,” he turned down Jennifer’s offer politely.

“But when you’ve finished, I’ll buy you another one. Anything you want,” she insisted.

After Louis had emptied his cup, Jennifer took it away from him. “Don’t move. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Lauren turned to Louis. “Since when are you so close to her? Do you like her?”

“Well, she’s nice, I think,” Louis answered.

Lauren didn’t respond. The atmosphere between her and him had changed somehow.

“How’s Eleanor?” Louis tried to change the topic. Maybe she knew something about Brandon?

Lauren just pulled a face. “It depends. Sometimes she’s very sad, sometimes she’s okay but it’s still hard for her to cope with the situation.”

Louis nodded. Just in that moment, Jennifer came back and handed Louis another drink.

“What’s that?” he asked, looking at the unknown mixture.

“Something special for a special friend!” she chirped. “Just try it.” The drink wasn’t bad but after some sips Louis already felt even more tipsy. “I’ll show you something, come with me,” Jen said, took Louis’ hand and pulled him away to the chill out room, leaving Lauren behind.

 

 

 


	36. The party II

Jennifer led Louis to the chill out room where she pulled him to a sofa in the back of the room where she sat down with him. When his eyes had adapted to the dark, the boy could see that people were sitting on the sofas, some of them were talking quietly, some were cuddling and some were kissing. Jennifer scooted closer to the boy.

“How’s the drink?” she asked Louis while she took a sip of her own.

“I really like it,” he answered and smiled.

“May I ask you something?” Lauren asked and looked deep into Louis’ eyes. The girl came closer to Louis’ face. He was relaxed and didn’t mind. “Do you have a girlfriend?” Her breath felt hot against his ear. Louis almost choked on his drink and coughed.

“What?” Louis asked but Jennifer didn’t repeat her question.

Instead she smiled at Louis, put her drink away and touched his knee. Then she brushed a little streak off his face softly. “You heard it,” Jennifer said with a low voice and scooted even closer to Louis. She looked down, bit her lip and looked him right into the eyes again.

“Louis,” she said softly. “You’re such a nice and handsome guy, look at you.” She gently caressed his cheek.

Louis couldn’t tell if it was due to the alcohol or the situation, but her words and touches didn’t feel awkward at all. He didn’t even flinch when she touched him.

“You look absolutely stunning tonight, so pretty.”

Jennifer was so close that Louis could almost feel her breath on his face. He wasn’t able to react, the alcohol made him tired, the music was calming him. Jennifer took Louis’ cup out of his hands gently and put it away. Then she looked into his blue eyes and touched his chin with her right hand. “You’re so beautiful, Louis.” She let her thumb run over Louis’ lips and her eyes were directly locked into his.

It was a magical moment and the boy wasn’t able to move. Suddenly, Jennifer leaned in for a kiss. She pressed her lips onto Louis’ and put her arms around the boy’s neck gently to pull him closer. Her lips felt warm and soft so Louis kissed her back gently. It didn’t feel wrong at all. Was it due to the alcohol?

_“There’s definitely something going on in here tonight.”_

Louis remembered Nathans words.

Being close to Jennifer was nice so Louis put his hands on Jennifer’s hips while he was replying her kissing. Thoughts came running through Louis’ mind suddenly. Maybe he wasn’t gay? Maybe the whole thing with Harry was only imagination? Probably it was because this felt _good_.

“Louis!” a female voice squealed all of a sudden.

Louis got a huge fright and took his hands off Jennifer. It was Eleanor who stood in front of him, her eyes wide in shock.

“El?” Louis got up quickly. He almost lost his balance due to the fucking alcohol.

“What the hell are you doing?!” she yelled at him.

Just in that moment Louis realized what he had done. It felt wrong all of the sudden, incredibly wrong. He tried to touch Eleanor’s shoulder but she flinched and pushed his hand away roughly.

“It’s not what you think El, it’s just . . .” Louis said when he noticed how sad her eyes looked.

A little tear ran down her cheek as she stared at him disbelieving.

“I hate you!” she yelled, turned around and ran away.

Louis wanted to follow Eleanor but Jennifer held his wrist and pulled him back onto the sofa. She scooted close to Louis again and gave him a small kiss on his temple.

“Don’t run after her,” she said quietly and caressed his hair. “She’s not worth it. Look how she yelled at you. Who needs girls like her when you can have me?” she whispered into Louis ear, almost touching it with her tongue. She let her left hand slide over Louis’ crotch, kissed his cheek and the spot next to his mouth.

Something in Louis’ head snapped and he pushed her away. “Stop it, honestly!”

The boy got up off the sofa. “Eleanor is one of my best friends! She is hurt, can’t you see that?”

He was upset about the way Jennifer talked about his friend. Plus, he was angry because of his own slutty behavior. What was he thinking? Why did he kiss Jennifer back?

“Fuck!” Louis shouted and buried his head into the palms of his hands.

He felt tipsy but it seemed like Eleanor’s appearance had cleared his mind a little. What he had done was silly, immature and after all a stupid mistake. Louis had rejected Eleanor although she was such a lovely girl and here he was, kissing Jennifer at a random party. Hot and cold waves ran through his body while he was wondering what to do. The worst thing was that Jennifer was Taylor’s girlfriend! Why didn’t he consider that too?

“What about Taylor?” Louis asked her harshly but she just signaled her refusal.

“We’re just fucking, it’s nothing serious.” Jen’s voice changed, she sounded cold and emotionless. Her nice smile was gone.

“What? Are you serious?”

She got up and raised her voice too. “Jesus, Louis! The only thing I wanted was to have a little fun. Look at yourself! You’re acting like you’re married to your annoying friend Eleanor! You’re so pethetic!”

Louis looked at her with dismay. He just couldn’t believe her words and he couldn’t believe how Jennifer’s attitude towards him had changed within seconds.

“Tell me you don’t mean it,” Louis said quietly.

Jennifer took her cup from the table and gave Louis a contemptuous look. “Fuck you, Louis!” she hissed. “I really don’t need to spend my time with a slowcoach as you are!” she said, pushed through him and left without looking back.

Louis was shocked. How could someone change so drastically? He just couldn’t believe how rude Jennifer was. Louis was mad at himself because his behavior at this party had been absolutely unworthy. Jennifer just wanted to have fun with him? She just wanted to take advantage of him? It gradually dawned on Louis why Nathan didn’t like her. She had been playing the nice girl to get into Louis’ pants only, that’s what he thought.

Louis felt so miserable. He left his cup on the table and went out of the room to find Eleanor.


	37. Eleanor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finds Eleanor in a dangerous situation. Harry helps.

The party was in full flood when Louis stepped out of the chill out room. The floors were crowded with people what made it difficult to pass through them quickly. The boy went over to the bar and bought two cups of sparkling water to clear his mind. The alcohol hadn’t been a good choice, not at all.

Louis called Eleanor but she didn’t answer her phone. He walked around for half an hour but he couldn’t find her. Louis was exhausted from pushing through the crowd so he decided to find a quiet place to get some rest. He went upstairs and sat down at a small relaxing area that was situated in a little niche at the end of the corridor on third floor. He closed his eyes and listened to the muffled sounds from the party.

Suddenly he heard steps that came closer. When he opened his eyes, Louis saw a tall person standing a few meters away from him.

“Hello?” a familiar voice said and made Louis’ heart pound all of a sudden. It was Harry. “Louis?” he asked and walked closer. “Is this you? What are you doing upstairs? Shouldn’t you be at the party?”

“I wanted to be alone for a few minutes,” the boy answered quickly.

“I see.” Harry pulled out his keys. “I still have some work to do,” he said while he was pointing towards his office, then he walked away. Louis just realized how much he had missed him but he didn’t dare to follow him. He would probably think Louis was a psycho.

 

After a while, Louis heard a male voice shouting aggressively. He could also hear a female voice between the yelling. Although the rough tone scared him, Louis decided to have a look at the scene. He walked toward the main staircase and peeked around the corner. At the end of another corridor he saw Brandon and Eleanor. They were clearly arguing.

Brandon was bent over Eleanor who scrunched herself in front of his massive body. She was holding her hands in front of her face while Brandon tried to pull them away. He grabbed her wrists roughly and pushed them to the sides eventually.

“You’re hurting me!” the girl squealed frightened. “Stop it, please!” Her voice sounded desperate but Brandon didn’t stop, he was furious.

“Who do you think you are, you little slut? You’re _my_ girl, how many times do I have to tell you this?!” His face was close to hers, too close. “Why do you keep cheating on me?” he yelled. “You keep doing whatever you like, that’s not part of the deal!” Brandon pushed her against the wall violently and hit the lockers with his fist.

When Brandon took his hands away from Eleanor, she let her body drop to the ground. The guy took her wrists and held them tight in his right hand. Eleanor tried to pull her hands away from Brandon while she was sobbing and crying.

“You’re so unfair! I’m not yours!” she yelled with a teary voice, still trying to escape his grip.

Brandon was kneeling in front of her without showing any reaction to her whimpers. He pulled her closer harshly.

“You better do what I tell you or something bad is going to happen with your little friend,” Brandon hissed.

Brandon’s tone scared Louis. He didn’t dare to get between them but of course he knew that he had to do something before Brandon would hurt her seriously. The only thing that came to his mind was to ask Harry for help. He ran over to his office quickly and threw the door open without knocking.

“Harry please, I need your help! Brandon is threatening Eleanor and I’m afraid he could hurt her, please, please help her!”

Harry didn’t ask any questions. He got up immediately and ran down the corridor with Louis. “They’re over there!” Louis said desperately and turned around the corner. He witnessed how Brandon slapped Eleanor’s face.

“What are you doing? You’re hurting me!” Eleanor screamed in pain and tried to escape his grip.

“Stop it!” Harry yelled loudly, ran towards Brandon and pushed him away from Eleanor who was sitting on the floor, covered in tears. “Leave her alone, Brandon!” Harry yelled. His voice was so loud and it would have definitely frightened Louis if Harry would talk to him that way.  Even Brandon seemed puzzled for a second. While Harry was keeping Brandon away from Eleanor, Louis kneeled down next to his friend and pulled her close. Eleanor leaned her head against Louis’ chest while he caressed her hair gently. Her body was trembling in fear and her sobs were heartbreaking.

“Keep your hands off me, you bastard!” Brandon snorted furiously.

“Don’t you dare talking to me in that tone!” Harry replied. With a few short moves Brandon was fixed in a way that he couldn’t move anymore.

“Keep your hands off me, you faggot!” Brandon slurred.

He was definitely drunk and maybe drugged. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was red of anger. Harry didn’t say anything. He just waited for Brandon to calm down.

A few more minutes passed until Brandon finally stopped defending himself. “When I let go, you will leave this school immediately or I will call the police, is that clear?” Harry’s voice was so loud and decisively.

“It’s none of your business!” Brandon yelled and spat on the ground twice.

“I won’t tell you again,” Harry said clearly and changed Brandon into another position that apparently hurt him.

Harry was totally in control of this situation. They stared at each other until the younger guy bowed his head and finally gave in.

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave.”

Harry loosened his grip but still held him in a very uncomfortable pose. “I’ll help you,” Harry said harshly and pulled Brandon away.

“Fuck you!” Brandon yelled loudly while Harry pulled him down the staircase. He gave Louis a sign to take Eleanor to his office.

Eleanor’s body was still trembling and tears were streaming down her face. She whimpered quietly as they sat down onto Harry’s sofa. To Louis’ surprise, the girl didn’t pull away from him. He caressed her hair but remained silent.

Harry came back after about twenty minutes. His hair was messy, his shirt ripped and strained. “Brandon was out of control when I forced him to pass the entrance. A few security guards helped me to hold him in place before I could call the police,” he said breathlessly as he washed his hands. “He’ll spend the night at the police station. I’m sure this incident will have repercussions, definitely.” Harry dried his hands.

Then he walked over to the sofa and squatted down in front of Eleanor and Louis.

“Hey Eleanor, are you okay?” he asked softly.

The scared girl nodded and wiped away a tear. Then she put one arm around Louis’ waist and lowered her head. Harry slightly squeezed Eleanor’s arm and went away to get her a glass of water. He put it onto the small table.

“Thank you so much for helping me,” she sobbed but didn’t move away from Louis.

“You’re welcome but you actually owe it all to your friend.”

Eleanor looked at him. “Thank you,” she said quietly.

Louis kissed her temple and squeezed her gently. “It’s fine.”

After a while, Eleanor got up from Louis’ chest and took a sip of her water. When they were about to walk out of the room, Louis turned around.

“Thank you Har . . . uhm, Mr. Styles.” Louis blushed but Harry just gave him a small smile.

“You’re welcome, Louis,” he answered and nodded.

 

 

 


	38. At the playground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Eleanor finally manage to talk to each other about what happened.

Louis took Eleanor’s hand and pulled her through the crowd. The floors were still full with people, the music was playing loudly and the air was stuffy as hell. The smell of sweat and alcohol made Louis choke. Most people were obviously drunk. If he hadn’t stopped drinking a few hours ago, he probably would have been one of them also. It was such a relief to get out of the building and catch some fresh air. The wind blew strongly and dark clouds were covering the night sky.

“I missed you very much,” Eleanor said while they were walking along the street.

“Same,” Louis replied.

Meanwhile it had started to rain slightly. When Louis and Eleanor arrived at the park, the rain got much heavier. They had to take shelter somewhere if they wouldn’t want to get soaking wet. Louis had an idea and they ran toward the small playground next to the park. They hid in a little wooden house that was built to function as a base for a slide. It was pretty narrow in there but still big enough for both of them. They sat down on the tiny bench.

The sky got darker within minutes and far away thunder indicated that a storm was gathering. Eleanor shivered, of course she did. The only thing she wore were jeans and a thin white silk top. Louis handed her his jumper. She smiled, put it on and immediately pulled her hands into the sleeves.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” Louis tried to start the conversation.

Maybe it wasn’t the right time but Louis wanted her back in his life because he missed her so much. She deserved to know why he had rejected her and maybe he would tell her today.

“I didn’t mean it, honestly.” Louis’ voice was quiet. “Please talk to me.”

Eleanor put her elbows on the table, stared at the tabletop and started picking little wooden pieces out of it.

“I . . . I had too many drinks at the party and . . . you know, I’m not used to alcohol so . . . I know it was stupid and I don’t even know why I did it.” Louis shook his head. “It’s embarrassing. This party was a mess.”

Louis looked at his friend, waiting for an answer. Eleanor looked away. She couldn’t hide her tears that were running down her cheeks. Louis moved a little closer to her until their arms touched. Eleanor sobbed and leaned onto Louis’ shoulder. The rain was drumming against the small house and the wind made scary noises.

“It’s not just because of tonight,” Eleanor said. She lifted her head off Louis’ shoulder and sat down at the other end of the bench. The girl pulled her knees close and wrapped her arms around them.

“I wanted to say sorry for my behavior too,” Eleanor said quietly. “There is something you should know about Brandon.” She paused. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”

“What?!” Louis blurted out. “You’re not serious!”

The girl nodded. “We were an actual couple one year ago,” she explained. “At first he was a real gentleman. He brought me flowers, we went on wonderful dates, he watched my favorite movies with me, he stopped being rude to others. This surprised me the most. He even stopped smoking because of me what showed me that he really tried to change.” Eleanor exhaled loudly. “We had good times but I should have known it wouldn’t last long. After about two months I discovered he was doing drugs. First he promised he would stop and it seemed like he was really getting away from it until I caught him selling drugs to a close friend of mine. He promised so many times that he would stop but he never did. Whenever I wanted to talk about this topic he got furious and incredibly angry.”

“Has he ever . . .  you know . . . done something to you?”

“No, no, he has never hurt me . . . until today,” Eleanor answered and touched her cheek that was still a little bit red from his assault.

Louis rubbed his arms that were almost numb from the cold. Eleanor pulled off Louis’ sweater and handed it to him. After he put it on, he gave his friend a sign to scoot closer. The girl nodded, sat down between Louis’ legs and leaned back onto his chest. Louis wrapped his arms around her.

“We had a lot or arguments because of the drugs. He promised it would get better but it never did, so I decided to end our relationship. The bad thing was he couldn’t handle the breakup at all,” she sighted. “First he tried to convince me to stay, he said he would change if I gave him another chance but I didn’t believe him. Whenever I was talking to boys or men, he got extremely jealous and started threatening those people a lot. After a few weeks, his whole personality had changed dramatically. He became even more rude and violent than he had been before. Brandon had always been the type of a bad boy but after the breakup everything got worse, especially when you joined the class.”

Eleanor put her hands onto Louis’. “Brandon despised you from the beginning. He said he would try to keep you away from me but I didn’t want to give him the power to decide about my life.”

“He threatened me during the first weeks and knocked me out a few days ago,” Louis admitted.

“What?” Eleanor replied shocked and got up off Louis’ chest to look him in the eyes.

“He said I should keep my distance and if I wouldn’t something would happen. Then he caught me after training and . . .”

“He did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Louis made a gesture. “I thought it wouldn’t be important at first, plus I thought you wouldn’t talk to me anyways.”

“Oh,” she replied quietly. “I’m sorry. But I remember now that a few weeks ago you had injuries and bruises all over your body.”

“Don’t be, it’s okay now,” the boy said.

“I wouldn’t talk to you . . . yes . . . I was sad and disappointed, but the main reason why I avoided you was him. I missed you so much. Although you didn’t want me to be your girlfriend . . . I . . . I wanted to talk to you . . . but . . . he, it was him . . . “

Eleanor was too upset to continue because she started to cry. Louis wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close again.

“He told me that he would hurt you if I wouldn’t stop being close to you. You know . . . and . . . I didn’t . . . I didn’t want it to happen so I preferred to stay away from you.”

She tucked her head under Louis’ chin. “And when he saw you talking to me at the party he lost it again. He was drugged and drunk that night and I was so scared Louis. I don’t know what he would have done to me if you . . .”

Eleanor couldn’t finish her sentence. Tears were streaming down her face and her body trembled. Louis held her close and let her cry until she calmed down while the thunderstorm outside was showing its power.

 

 


	39. Confessions

Louis felt guilty.  He was absolutely determined to tell her the truth. He wanted his friend to know that his rejection wasn’t her fault.

He let out a sigh. “I also have to tell you something about me.”

Eleanor got off his chest and sat down next to her friend. “You are nervous,” she remarked, touching his shoulder gently.

Louis nodded and cleared his throat before he began to speak. “I want to tell you the reason why I’ve been rejecting you. But before I start, I’d like you to know how wonderful you are. You’re funny, beautiful, caring and so much more.”

Eleanor looked down but smiled a little bit.

“You were there for me from the first day and I’m very thankful for that. I love you as a friend, I really do. But . . . that’s not the point,” Louis explained and let out another sigh.

He felt insecure and vulnerable as he was trying to find the right words. How would she react? What would she say?

“El, I . . . I think I’m not . . . I’m not . . . attracted to girls.” Louis couldn’t believe what he had just said. “I know you were upset because I kissed Jennifer at the party but . . . but this wasn’t my intention, not at all. It was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done . . . I’m so sorry that you were there and saw it but . . .  please believe me, it was a mistake! Nothing else and . . . all I want is that . . . that you don’t hate me for . . . for, you know . . . the problem is that . . . that I don’t like girls the way I should like them when it comes to a relationship . . . I just don’t . . . please . . . please don’t hate me for it, please  . . .” Louis wiped his eyes with the sleeve of the jumper and looked at his friend. It was such an embarrassing situation.

Eleanor stared at him for a few seconds. Then she pulled Louis into a tight hug. “I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I said it to you but I could never hate you.”

Louis heart was pounding like crazy. “I’m sorry for not telling you earlier but . . . I just couldn’t. I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you need. I’m so sorry.”  Louis said. He felt tears running down his face.

Eleanor touched his arm. “Why haven’t you told me earlier?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Louis cried silently. “I’ve struggled for months to realize it, I didn’t know it was just imagination or a phase and . . . to be honest, I was also afraid of your reaction and . . .  and . . . that I could lose you as a friend.”

“Oh Lou, you’re still my friend. I thought you wouldn’t like me but now that I know, everything falls into place.” The girls’ voice was calm. “I don’t want to lose you because you’re too important to me.”

“Do you think we can make it work somehow? I mean . . . it’s a bit weird now that I know that you . . .” Louis made a gesture between both of them.

Eleanor shrugged her shoulders. “I know it is . . . but now that I know, maybe it will be okay for me. You’ve been nothing but a great friend to me and it would hurt me very much if I lost you.”

Louis sighted. “I don’t know if I can ask this without hurting you . . . I mean . . . are you . . . I mean . . . do you still have a crush on me or . . . “

“I think I do,” Eleanor answered. “I know it’s weird but I think now that I know, I will try to cope with it.” Her cheeks flushed when she looked up. “Louis, I . . . but I love being close to you but maybe you won’t like that anymore so . . . it’s a weird question but can I still hug you and just cuddle with you? Maybe you won’t like it because you think it’s gross with a girl . . . I mean, maybe . . .”

Louis smiled at her friend and hugged her. “You can ask for cuddles whenever you want to and I don’t think it’s gross to be close to you. I only hope you can accept that there won’t be more than that.”

“I will have to accept it,” the girl sighted. “I’m sure I can get over it, maybe it will take some time and if you are okay with that, I’ll be fine.”

Louis nodded. “I love you too much that this could affect me. I’m only worried about you. But if you think you can make it, there won’t be a problem. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth.”

 “You don’t need to apologize. I can understand that it must have been hard for you and it’s fine, it really is. Believe me, okay?”

“Thank you, you’re lovely,” Louis answered and gave her friend a hug and a kiss on her cheek. “And don’t worry about Brandon. Mr. Styles will make sure that he won’t bother you anymore, I’m sure about that.”

Eleanor gave Louis a small smile. “He’s really nice, isn’t he?”

“I think so,” Louis answered and felt his cheeks getting hot. “Do you want to come here again? You must be freezing and I suppose we won’t leave this place soon.”

Eleanor nodded and scooted closer to her friend again. They sat like this for a while, watching the thick raindrops falling from the sky.

“Please don’t tell anybody about my secret. Stan and you are the only ones who know until now. I’m not even sure how or if to tell my family,” Louis asked her friend.

Eleanor nuzzled closer to Louis and gave him a cute kiss on the cheek. “You can trust me, I won’t tell anybody. And whenever you need someone to talk to, just call me. I’ll always be there for you.”

Louis kissed her temple. “You’re amazing, love,” Louis replied happily. What a wonderful feeling it was to have her back in his life.

 

 


	40. The note / lovesick

On Monday morning Louis met Taylor and Nathan on his way to school. Louis felt guilty right away. He wasn’t sure if he should tell him what happened at the party. What he did was never his intention and besides that it only happened because of the alcohol and Louis’ insecurity concerning his sexuality.

  
“Louis, Lou!”

Louis turned around and saw Eleanor running towards them. She threw her arms around Louis’ neck and gave him the a little kiss on his cheek.

Nathan gave Louis a surprised look. “Have I missed something?” he asked half amused.

“It’s none of your business!” Eleanor answered. Nathan rolled his eyes but stayed silent.

When they were walking towards the classroom, Louis saw Harry standing a few meters away from the door. He was talking to some bitchy girls from his class: Nadine and her arrogant friends. Louis couldn’t stand them because they were just rude, unfriendly and obnoxious.

When he noticed who Harry was talking with, a cold, unpleasant feeling overcame him. Was it jealousy or was it just the fact that these girls were talking to him? All of a sudden, Harry’s eyes met Louis’ for a second and Louis felt his cheeks getting hot. The teacher gave him a sign to come over.

Louis could fee his heartbeat in his chest and he was afraid someone could hear it. He nervously pulled his sweater while he walked over to Harry. Nadine and her friends looked at him condescendingly what made Louis feel small and unwelcome there.

“Louis, could you come to my office during lunch break?” the teacher asked Louis.  
“Okay,” the boy answered shortly as he noticed that the girls were glaring at him. The only thing he wanted was to leave.

Harry nodded shortly and continued talking with the girls. What was that? Louis stood there, not sure whether to be happy about it or not. Why should he come to the office? Why did Harry ask him in front of the girls? Was this wanted or just a coincidence? Louis ruffled through his hair nervously as he walked into the classroom. Was Harry in trouble because of Louis? Was it because of the weekend? Harry’s words confused Louis so much that he bumped into Eleanor.

“Sorry,” Louis mumbled as he passed her.

Eleanor followed her friend to his desk.

“You like him, don’t you?” she whispered into his ear and gave Louis a small nudge.

Had she really noticed something? What if others had noticed it too? This wasn’t good. Louis shrugged his shoulders. Eleanor smiled at her friend and ruffled through his hair. She slipped off the table when Harry entered the room. When Louis looked over to her she winked at him and gave him a small smile.

As hard as Louis tried, he couldn’t concentrate on the topic properly. The only thing he could think about was what Harry wanted to tell him. The lesson seemed endlessly, Louis’ head was aching and all he wanted was this torture to end. While his friends were outside for the break, the boy went upstairs to Harry’s office. His hands were sweaty when he opened the door.

“Hi Louis, good you’re here,” his teacher said friendly while he was filling his cup with coffee.

“Hi,” Louis answered, still standing under the doorframe. He wanted to hug Harry, he wanted to feel his warm hands wrapped around his body.

“Please, take a seat.”

Harry pointed at the chair in front of his desk. Louis sat down on the chair and stared at the man with the beautiful curls. He was disappointed when Harry started talking about Brandon and the incident at the party. Of course it wasn’t about them. How could Louis be so naïve and think that Harry wanted to talk to him privately?

“He’s going to attend school next month again,” Harry said. “The police isn’t allowed to arrest him for a longer period of time without any proof. I think it’s important that you talk to the headmistress about the incident.” The man paused and took a sip of his coffee. “We need you and Eleanor to bear witness against Brandon. We have found out that he has violated a law numerous times, so he would probably have to leave school if he did something similar once again,” Harry explained. “What do you think about it?”

If Harry only knew, how much Louis missed him. He was so disappointed.

“Louis?” Harry interrupted the boy’s thoughts. “Are you okay?”

Louis stared at his teacher without saying a word. His heart was crying, couldn’t he notice that? _“No, I’m not okay! Can’t you see that I’m suffering? I miss you so much! Since I’ve met you I haven’t stopped thinking about you, every second, every minute, every hour, every day! You’re my first thought in the morning and you’re my last before I force myself to fall asleep! I miss you! I miss you so much that it hurts! You wanted me to come to your office just to tell me that Brandon is an asshole? Are you even serious?”_

Louis wanted to shout the words out so badly, he wanted Harry to know what he felt but of course, he couldn’t. It hurt so much.

“I’m okay,” Louis lied.

“So would you like to help us in that case?’ Harry asked again.

Louis nodded.

“Thank you. I’ll ask Eleanor tomorrow and make an appointment for both of you if she’ll agree. Mrs. Cleve will be happy about your decision,” Harry said and picked up the phone.

After a short call, Harry left the room. Louis sat there for a while but his teacher didn’t return. Louis’ excitement about seeing him during the break was replaced by disappointment completely. All he wanted was to leave this office and have lunch with his friends. He wanted to escape, he wanted to run away. Harry wouldn’t want to talk to him about something else anyways, so why should he stay and wait for him.

Louis was just about to leave when he noticed a cube of sticky notes next to Harry’s keyboard. He got an idea. It happened so quickly that the boy couldn’t quite think if his actions were wrong or right. He teared off a note from the cube, took a pencil from the desk and scribbled down a message for Harry. Louis’ heart was pounding heavily as he folded the note and stuck it under the keyboard. Then he took his bag and snuck out of the office.

 

For the rest of the day, Louis couldn’t stop thinking about the note. What if it was a terrible mistake to leave it? What would Harry say? Would he even react? Would he care? Would he ignore Louis? His inner voice told him that he shouldn’t have done it and suddenly it seemed to be the most stupid and embarrassing thing he had ever done. The boy decided to run back to the office and throw the note away – but it was too late. When he walked towards the office, he could hear a voice coming from inside. What had he done? It was a mistake, it was embarrassing and humiliating but there was no turning back. It was too late, it was too late.

 

The next weeks passed and nothing conspicuous happened. Harry didn’t treat Louis any different as he had treated him before. Louis wondered if his teacher had found the note at all. Maybe he had thrown it away without noticing? That would have been the best thing since Louis couldn’t manage to do it himself. He thought about the note constantly His friend Stan tried to convince Louis that he should forget about his teacher. But how could he? Although Stan was his best friend, Louis couldn’t listen to his opinion anymore. His permanent _“he’s your teacher”_ and _“what do you expect from him”_ were annoying and absolutely not what Louis wanted to hear.

When Louis laid in bed, he thought about the whole situation again. What if Stan was right? What if Harry was just a fantasy? What if his teacher regretted the weekend? Would he have helped other students too? What if Louis misunderstood everything that had happened between them?

But no matter how idiotic it was, Louis just couldn’t stop thinking of Harry. He was on his mind every day, every minute, every second of his life. He was on his mind when Louis watched movies with his little sisters. Harry was on his mind when Louis helped his mum in the kitchen, when he walked to school, when he studied for his tests, when he met his friends. Louis’ heart broke every time he saw Harry in class and it hurt even more when he left the room.  
The boy lost appetite soon and spent most of his free time at home. The only thing he still loved was football.

Most of the time, he wanted to be alone, completely on his own. It was easy for Louis’ family and friends to figure that something was wrong with him. It was hard for Louis to lie to them but there was no other way if Louis wanted to keep Harry a secret. Eleanor tried so hard to help him but he wasn’t brave enough to open up to her. The only one who knew that he was obsessed with Harry was Stan.

“Louis, you’re obsessed with Harry. It’s not even funny,” he said to his friend when they talked on the phone for the sixth time in one week.

“I have never said it was funny,” Louis barked into the phone unfriendly.

Stan sighted. “Louis! Listen to yourself! You’ve changed and that’s not healthy for you.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Pull yourself together! You’re wasting your time on someone you can’t have. He’s your teacher, Louis, he’s unreachable!”

“But I miss him,” Louis nearly cried. “I really miss him!”

“You don’t even know him. You know you’re my friend and I want you to be happy but this whole thing is getting worse! Please Louis, let me help you. Let your family help you!” Stan sounded worried.

“I can’t,” Louis sobbed into the phone. “I can’t.”

For the first time in his life, Louis was experiencing what it felt to be lovesick. It was an incredibly empty, consuming and cruel feeling that wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard he tried. The pain in his heart got stronger, Louis felt exhausted, devastated and defeated by his own feelings. It was hard for him to concentrate on school work. When he handed in his essay to Harry, he was close to tears.

 


	41. The answer

During the next days, it was very difficult for Louis to concentrate in general. He couldn’t sleep well, he didn’t eat well and he didn’t pay much attention during classes. Louis tried to get Harry out of his mind but it was impossible. He wasn’t paying attention to Louis anyway so he could tell that the weekend was obviously just a coincidence that Louis clearly misconstrued.

At the end of the week, Harry returned the essays to the students. Louis got a B what was quite good but the boy wasn’t happy at all. All he wanted was a sign from him - a wink, a smile, something - but nothing happened. Louis felt like an idiot all at once. What was he waiting for? Harry wouldn’t invite Louis to his house again. He probably wouldn’t ask him to come to his office once again. Who was he to think that one of the nicest and most attractive people on earth would like him as much as he liked them? Everything that had happened so far was a painful illusion obviously.

In the evening, Louis decided to look through his essay. He took the decision that he wanted to concentrate on school instead of Harry. His teacher only made him sad and school was more important than Louis’ unrealistic dreams of a man who was completely out of his league.

When Louis flicked through the pages, a little piece of paper dropped out of his exercise book. Louis’ new resolutions were overthrown immediately when he read the name “Harry” at the end of the note. Louis’ pulse quickened, his heart started to race and he couldn’t recognize the letters anymore because everything got blurry all of a sudden. Louis’ excitement grew, paired with a huge amount of fear. His cheeks blushed while he unfolded the small note with his trembling hands.

“Hello Louis, I found your note on my desk. Please come to my office around five thirty tomorrow, Harry.”

Louis read the lines over and over again but instead of happiness, a huge wave of insecurity overcame him. His eyes were filled with tears while he was imagining the worst scenario that would probably occur if they met again. What if Harry just wanted to tell Louis to stay away from him? What if he told him that everything had been a mistake? Louis put the note away and pulled the covers over his head. His state affected his sleep immensely during this night. The boy tossed and turned for hours because the unpleasant thoughts wouldn’t go away. The mere thought of meeting Harry alone again drove Louis crazy. He was nearly afraid. What would Harry say? Would he be angry? Would he be offended? Louis fell asleep at 3 o’clock in the morning, all his questions remained unanswered.

 

 


	42. Unexpected feelings

Louis was incredibly tired when he woke up in the morning. It was clearly noticeable for everyone around him that the night before hadn’t been full of restorative sleep. When Louis went to the restroom, he noticed how bad he actually looked. His skin was pale, the rings under his eyes let him look incredibly tired and altogether, the boy looked ill.

There was still some time left before Louis had his appointment with Harry so he stayed in the classroom to work. When he walked along the corridor toward Harry’s office, he felt incredibly nervous. He had never been that nervous in his life, ever.

“Hi,” Louis whispered when he walked into the office. It wasn’t his intention, it just happened.

“Hello Louis. Take a seat please,” Harry responded, pointing to the sofa.

Louis put his bag on the floor and sat down, nervously pulling the sleeves of his sweater. He was in this room for a few minutes only and he already felt like crying. His nervousness increased when Harry sat down on the chair next to him. Why wouldn’t he sit on the sofa? He was so far away, too far away. This was a bad sign, for sure. Harry leaned forward, placed his elbows on his tights and folded his hands. Louis looked up as his teacher pushed his hair back and cleared his throat.

“Thank you for coming.”

Louis pressed his lips together. His hands were trembling and Louis could feel his pulse hammering, pulsing strongly and unpleasant against the skin of his neck. Harry was looking at Louis but the boy couldn’t return his gaze.

“I’m sorry for leaving the note,” Louis said quickly. He covered his face with the palms of his hands, rubbed them up and down slowly and bowed his head slightly. “I know it was a mistake and I want you to know that I know that I shouldn’t have done it,” Louis blurted out.

Harry looked at Louis seriously. Then he shook his head. “It wasn’t a mistake.” Harry didn’t smile and his facial features wouldn’t soften. “When I saw your note I ignored it because I thought it was wrong.” He paused. “I thought it was wrong,” he repeated as he twisted the silver ring on his middle finger. Then he pushed his hair back and looked down.

“Do you . . . do you still think . . . that it was wrong?” Louis asked timidly.

Harry sighted. “It’s wrong, Louis. It’s terribly wrong. You are my student and I’m your teacher.” The man bowed his head. “It’s the worst.”

Then the teacher got up, rested his hands on the window-sill and stared out of the window. The rain was getting heavier outside and the wind bent the branches of the trees. Louis didn’t know what to do or say. Harry’s words hurt so much. Never had he experienced how painful words could be. It was awful, terrible, disturbing. All Louis felt was this incredible emptiness that was burning inside of him, this tremendous pain in his chest. Just in that moment the boy realized that he had feared the worst and he was right. Louis felt so exposed and embarrassed for leaving the note. It was idiotic, truly idiotic and childish. He was close to tears when he looked at Harry who was still standing at the window, not looking into Louis’ direction at all.

Without saying a word, he went over to his desk and opened a drawer.

“Do you remember this?”

It was the photograph Louis had found under Harry’s bedside table a few weeks ago. It also reminded him of the time they had spent together which hurt him. Why was Harry torturing him like that?

“We were at a ski trip together, about two years ago.”

He pointed at the man who was standing next to him. He had short brown hair, friendly eyes and a huge smile. “This is Daniel,” Harry explained, pointing at the guy in the photo.” He put the picture on the table and folded his hands. “He was my boyfriend. He died in a car accident one year ago.”

Louis was still staring at Harry, trying to process his words. What? What was that? He had a boyfriend? Why was he telling him that?

“When you told me about your dad, I knew what you were going through. The feeling to loose someone you love . . .”

Harry sighted, got up and put the picture back into the drawer. Then he came back and sat down next to Louis on the sofa. He pulled something out of his jeans pocket.

“Here’s your note,” he said, handing Louis the yellow crumpled piece of paper.

Louis wanted to put it away immediately but Harry slightly touched his hand to stop him.

 “Don’t put it away. Have a look, please.”

Harry’s look was soft but his facial expression still serious what made Louis’ heart pound again. He turned the note around and recognized his own handwriting. But there was something else written on it, a sentence that wasn’t his.

“I feel the same, Harry.”

Louis held the note in his trembling hands. He looked at Harry, disbelieving the scribbled words. Louis read it over and over again and he slowly realized what these words meant. He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore that were already burning in the corner of his eyes. They ran down his cheeks and dripped onto Louis’ sweatshirt all of a sudden.

“This is a joke, isn’t it?” Louis asked tearfully and put the note away. How could Harry be so cruel and make fun of him?

“No, Louis, I’m not joking,” Harry said seriously. He looked at the boy with a piercing gaze. His green eyes were so beautiful, so beautiful.

“But you said that . . . you said it was wrong . . . and I . . . I don’t know . . .” Louis stammered nervously. He wiped his eyes while he was sobbing uncontrolled, unable to finish his sentence.

Harry took Louis hand into his and squeezed it slightly. “I feel the same, it’s true and I don’t really have a logical explanation for it.” Harry’s deep voice was so calming and his touch let the butterflies in Louis’ stomach come to life again. “I know it’s wrong, it’s totally wrong but sometimes feelings follow different plans than society and laws. I have tried to forget about you but I couldn’t.”

Harry put one arm around Louis and pulled him close. The boy put his head on Harry’s chest, tucked up his legs and sighted. Harry’s warmth and his touch felt incredible and after a while, Harry’s heartbeat calmed Louis down. He listened to Harry’s breathing, to his heartbeat and he felt how his chest was slowly rising and falling again. The familiar scent of vanilla filled Louis’ head. He didn’t think about what he was doing, he just did it. Louis put his right arm around Harry’s waist and nuzzled closer to him while he closed his eyes to enjoy Harry’s warmth that was spreading all around his body. The man placed a little kiss on Louis’ hair.

They sat there in silence while the wind was blowing outside and the rain was drumming against the windows, leaving wet traces on the glass. There were no words to describe how Louis felt in that moment. The silence was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of the boy’s mobile phone. He got off Harry’s chest with a sigh and pulled it out of his bag.

“Louis darling, where are you? I made dinner and thought you would be home around six!”

“Oh, sorry mum, I’ve been working at the library and forgot about time.” Louis blushed. This was the second time he lied to his mum and he felt bad about it. “I’ll be home in about half an hour, if that’s okay,” Louis told her and hung up.

It was weird but the warm feeling Louis had felt on the couch a few seconds ago was gone suddenly. It felt like a dream that was slowly fading until Harry walked over to Louis. He gave him a smile as he pulled the boy into a hug again. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist and held him close too. He didn’t want to leave but there was no other way.

 

Louis’ mum was in a very good mood when Louis arrived home. She told her kids that she would get a full time job at the hospital in Manchester in a few days. Besides she already had had a look at a little house in Holmes Chapel. If the landlord chose the Tomlinson family as the next tenants, they could move in in a few weeks. That was good news.

After dinner, Fizzy and Louis helped their mum to tidy up the kitchen. When she left the room for a while, Fizzy stepped closer to her brother and put her arm around his shoulders. “I don’t believe you had to work at school. What’s her name?’ she asked teasingly.

“I definitely had some work to do, okay?” Louis snapped.

Fizzy smiled and pushed her brother playfully. “Okay, call it whatever you want, you shifty sod.”

She winked at Louis and left the kitchen. Louis sighted as he walked up the stairs to his room. It was clear that from now on, he had to lie. When Louis went to bed, he pulled out the note.

_“Harry, I just want you to know that I can’t stop thinking of you, no matter where I am or what I do. I’m too shy to say that to you personally so I’m choosing this way. This note might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life so far but I hope it’s worth risking it. If you feel offended by my message just throw it away and I’ll notice. I like you very much. Louis.”_

Then he turned it around and read Harry’s answer over and over again.

_“I feel the same, Harry.”_

Louis fell asleep with the note in his hand.

 

 


	43. Invited

When Louis opened his locker the next day, a small piece of paper fell onto the floor. Louis picked it up quickly and noticed Harry’s handwriting.

“Would you like to come to my office on Friday after training? Harry.”

 

At lunch Louis was sitting in the cafeteria with his friends. He spotted Harry leaning against the door frame at the entrance while he ate a sandwich and talked to another teacher.

“Look at Styles,” Chloe said to Lauren, pointing at him. “He’s so sexy. Have you seen his tattoos? I bet there are more on other parts of his body we can’t see.”

“His girlfriend must be so lucky,” Chloe added and sighted.

“Do you know if he’s got a girlfriend?” Lauren asked Chloe but she shook her head.

“Do you really think a hottie like him doesn’t have a girlfriend?!” she answered. “No way!”

Taylor laughed and tapped his forehead. “You girls are really crazy.”

“Maybe we are, but look at him and then look at you. You’re jealous, admit it!”

Taylor and Nathan rolled their eyes.

“He’s nice, he’s sexy and he’s got a good taste in clothes unlike you. If you pay attention, you can learn a lot from him,” Eleanor smirked teasingly and winked at Louis.

“You girls always fall for the wrong guys, don’t they, Lou?” Nathan laughed and Taylor joined him.

Louis shrugged his shoulders. He tried not to say too much about Harry because he didn’t want to make a mistake.

 

When Louis went to Harry’s office on Friday, the teacher gave him his phone number.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave notes around the building or meet in here permanently,” Harry explained. “If you like, you can come over to my house this evening.”

Louis thought he was dreaming. Wasn’t he?

 

After dinner, Louis grabbed his skateboard and put his purse, phone and keys into his rucksack. Just as he wanted to sneak out, his mum caught him.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“I’m meeting friends,” Louis answered quickly.

To his surprise she didn’t ask more questions. “Alright darling, have fun!” Jay said and hugged Louis goodbye.

 


	44. At Harry's again

When Louis arrived at Harry’s apartment, his teacher pulled him into a warm hug as a welcome. It felt amazing but at the same time surreal. They went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Harry had already prepared a cup of tea for Louis. They talked about random things and it didn’t feel strange at all. Louis loved Harry’s voice so much. He enjoyed listening to him and the exciting feeling in his stomach almost drove him crazy. The only thing Louis could think about was how it would feel to be close to him again. Louis wanted to nuzzle closer to Harry so bad but he didn’t dare moving toward him.

“What are you thinking about, Louis?” Harry suddenly asked what made the boy blush a little bit.

Louis couldn’t tell Harry what he was really thinking about, could he? The boy changed his position and fidgeted with his cup. He got nervous again.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Louis said, looking at his cup.

Harry smiled at the boy. “I can’t believe that, you’re thinking about something.”

The boy pressed his lips together, put the cup away and pulled his legs closer to his body. Then he wrapped his arms around them and leaned his head onto his knees to face Harry.

“I’m not sure if I can tell you,” Louis mumbled quite tensed.

“Come on,” Harry said jokingly and gave Louis an encouraging smile. “Have a try, I won’t bite.”

“I’m afraid to tell you.”

“What are you afraid of?” Harry asked softly.

“That you might think I’m weird.”

Louis bowed his head to avoid Harry’s gaze because it made his stomach flutter and his heart ache.

“I would never think that,” Harry answered seriously.

Should Louis really tell Harry what he was thinking about? The result of this conversation could fuck up this whole evening or make it better, who knew. Louis struggled if he should be honest with Harry because of many reasons. There wasn’t anything the boy wanted more than being close to Harry, anything. He wanted to feel his warmth and Harry’s arms wrapped around him. The mere thought made his heart flutter again. Louis had gotten incredibly nervous during the last minutes but Harry’s kind look encouraged him to give it a try at least.

The boy rubbed his face slightly as he let out a sigh and started to get up from his corner. He looked at Harry quickly who nodded and gave him a little smile. It took Louis all his courage to walk over to Harry where he sat down next to him on the sofa and snuggled close to him. Harry wrapped on arm around the boy gently and Louis put his head onto Harry’s chest carefully.

“That was on my mind,” Louis said quietly and sighted.

He didn’t dare to look into Harry’s eyes so he just stared at the fireplace in front of them.

Harry didn’t say a word but he squeezed Louis’ arm a little bit and stroke over his hair. His gentle touch made Louis shiver. The boy closed his eyes as he enjoyed the warm feeling. It was wonderful to be close to Harry, so wonderful. Louis wrapped one arm around Harry’s waist too and nuzzled closer to his chest. The feeling in the pit of his stomach increased and he could swear that he had never experienced this intense feeling before.

“Do you still think it’s a joke?” Harry asked Louis after a long while.

“No,” Louis replied but it turned out as a whisper.

He turned around, slid down a bit and put his head onto Harry’s thighs. Harry adjusted his position and rested his left hand onto Louis’ hip. He continued to run his fingers through the boy’s hair and it was so hard for Louis not to fall asleep under this gentle, comforting touch.

“When I saw you during my first classes, I thought you were special. Not only your personality, I was really surprised by your thoughtful and empathetic work,” Harry admitted after a while. His voice was deep and calm. “After some time, I noticed that you looked very sad and that’s why I offered you to talk to me.” He bent over to take his cup from the table and had a sip from his tea. “When you told me your story, I felt related to you because I thought I knew what you were going through.”

Louis was surprised by Harry’s words. He looked up but stayed quiet as he nuzzled closer to Harry’s tummy as an answer. He really didn’t know what to say to him. The boy closed his eyes again. “Can I stay like this for a few more minutes?”

“Of course, love,” Harry said and continued to pet the boy’s hair. This was heaven.

 

After some minutes, Louis got up from Harry’s lap. He took his cup from the table and sat down cross legged next to Harry who pushed his hair back again. If Harry only knew, how much Louis loved this gesture. It was sexy.

“I want to show you something.” Harry put his cup back on the table and went out of the room. After a while he came back with a white envelope.

“It took me a long time to figure that I was well, _different_ ,” he said, handing Louis the envelope. “This is what my father gave me after I had opened up to him.”

_Harry,  
mum and I have always been proud of everything you have achieved and done so far. It was hard for both of us when she passed but I was sure we’d make it somehow. Over all those years you were the son I wished for, until a few days ago. For me, as a religious person and father, it’s inacceptable to tolerate you’re a faggot. The imagination of you having sex with other men is disgusting and perverted. I’ m nearly choking as I’m writing this because I can’t get those pictures out of my head. I can’t even imagine what’s going on in your mind. Homosexuality is a shame and it’s not only a shame for you, it’s a shame for the whole family. Forget about me because when you are reading this, I’m not your father anymore. Either you come clean with yourself or you’ll never see me again. Daniel._

“This is terrible,” Louis said quietly. He just didn’t know what else to say. How was it possible a father to write such hurtful things to his own son?

“It is. And this is another reason why people are afraid to come out. You never know how people around you will react. But honestly, it doesn’t change you as a person, it’s just about love and I don’t think that anyone should judge you because of your feelings,” Harry said seriously and put the letter back into the envelope. “I never thought my father would be that disrespectful and cold. I haven’t seen him since he wrote this letter what was about three years ago when I went to university.” Harry sighted and took another sip of his tea. “I was devastated when I read that. The worst thing wasn’t the verbal abuse. The worst thing was that I never had the possibility to talk about my feelings with him. It took me years to get over his words.” Harry paused. “Mum wouldn’t have reacted like this, for sure. She passed before I even knew what was going on with me back then.”

“I’m sorry,” Louis said.

“Thank you, but you shouldn’t be,” Harry replied while he leaned back. “She was very ill, Louis. Mum suffered so much and in the end it was a relief for her, although it was unbearable for me when she passed. I missed her so much, you can’t even imagine how much and I still do.”

The conversation made Louis think of how Harry managed to be such a powerful, happy and nice person although all those things had happened to him. His story made him feel overwhelmed and sad at the same time. Suddenly Louis’ problems seemed so unimportant in contrast to Harry’s life experiences. He gave Harry a hug.

“But . . . I don’t think we should sit here and be sad all the time. Come on, let’s order some pizza. Are you okay with that?” Harry suggested and ruffled through Louis’ hair before he got up and got the menu from the kitchen. “Choose something you like. You’re invited.”

 

After the pizza was delivered, Harry and Louis sat down on the balcony again, covered with fluffy blankets. The air was crispy clean and the sky was slowly changing its colors from blue to violet, red and orange.

“May I ask you something?” Louis asked. Harry nodded. “How . . . how did you find out about . . . you know . . . about being . . . you know.” Louis made a gesture with his hands because he was too shy to say the word.

Harry turned his head towards the boy. “About being gay?”

Louis nodded.

“Since I was a teenager I felt attracted to boys. I couldn’t figure out back then but when I look back, that was it. I thought being with girls would be normal so I started dating girls at first but it wasn’t as much fun as I thought.” Harry shook his shoulders and bit off another small piece of pizza. “Whenever I was intimate with them or had sex it was just an act, nothing I enjoyed. It was kind of weird. You know, all my friends were so excited about these things so I thought I had to be, too. I had a lot of girlfriends back then,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “When I went to university, I met a guy who was openly gay. We became friends quickly and one evening he convinced me to come to a gay club with him. Around that time I found out what I had missed all those years and after a few months, I met my first real boyfriend. It didn’t take long to be absolutely convinced that I wasn’t into women at all. I kept my sexuality and relationships secret at first which was really hard for me. Only the thought that someone could notice I was gay scared me. The only one I talked openly about it was Laura,” he said thoughtfully. “Laura was always loyal but it was different with my family.” Harry sighted. “I hid everything from them because I was scared of their reaction until I decided to tell my dad because it was such a burden for me. But as you know, he wasn’t as understanding as I wished him to be. He yelled at me and kicked me out of his house the day I told him. Thank god Laura let me sleep at hers back then. A few days later, I found his letter in the letter box.”

“I wish he would talk to you,” Louis said.

Harry shook his head. “He wouldn’t understand.”

They sat there in silence, munched their pizza and looked at the beautiful night sky. Their arms touched slightly and Louis enjoyed this little touch.

“So how is it with you then?” Harry asked Louis. “What makes you sure that you like boys?”

Harry’s smile was beautiful and his dimples were just cute. His intense gaze made the boy nervous again.

“I’m not quite sure why but . . . I dated girls too . . . and I always felt something was missing,” Louis blew some air out of his mouth. “I don’t know really.” He paused. “Maybe there was a moment I realized something was different, but it was strange and I didn’t know how to categorize that feeling. After my dad left I felt alone and my best friend Stan and I got physically closer . . . I mean, we didn’t do anything but being that close . . . it was just . . . a feeling.” Louis paused again. “I never had such a feeling with a girl . . .”

Harry looked at Louis again. “Sometimes it’s not possible to describe a certain state. You feel it and you just know.”

 

 


	45. Out for a walk

Louis heard his sisters shouting from downstairs. As hard as Louis tried, he just couldn’t get back to sleep again. He got dressed and went downstairs. The whole house smelled like coffee, toast and eggs. The family had a wonderful breakfast and Jay told her kids that she got the apartment and they would move in a few weeks.

“It’s at the other end of Holmes Chapel, next to the small forest. The weather will be nice today so I thought we should go for a walk after breakfast. I’ll show you where it is,” Jay said. Louis couldn’t get rid of the feeling that the little forest was the forest next to Harry’s house.

When Louis and his family approached a small crossroads, Louis realized that he was right. The little forest was the one next to Harry’s house. He could even see the white building from far. His mum wanted to walk along the short path that led through the forest so it was unavoidable to pass Harry’s house. What if they met him? The boy felt uneasy when they approached the street that led to the house.

“There’s our new home!” Jay said and pointed towards a small red brick house a few meters away from the crossroads. It was a cute house with a crooked little fence. The garden was quite overgrown and the house almost looked like a house out of a fairytale.

As the family continued their way into the forest, someone came running towards them. It was a tall person, dressed in a dark blue tracksuit, lime green running shoes and a black snapback. When the person got closer Louis could tell it was Harry. It really was him. The boy’s heartbeat increased rapidly. It wasn’t just because of Harry’s person. Louis wasn’t sure how to behave in front of his family when they met.

“Good morning!” Harry said politely as he passed the family. Louis’ mum and sisters greeted him too. Luckily he didn’t stop running so Louis could avoid an embarrassing situation.

“Fizzy, do you know who that was?!” Lottie asked surprised.

“No I don’t?”

“That’s Harry Styles, a supply teacher at our school. He is sexy, isn’t he?” Lottie continued. “What a shame you couldn’t see his hair, it’s beautiful.”

Fizzy chuckled. “So I assume someone has a crush on their teacher?”

Lottie gave her a playful nudge in the ribs. “I don’t have a crush it’s just . . . he’s so beautiful and beyond sexy. And he’s not even my teacher, that’s too bad, isn’t it?” The girl sighted.

“Yeah it is. But if he was your teacher I’m sure you couldn’t concentrate on anything else than him, so you better stop daydreaming.” Fizzy let out a small laugh and patted her sister’s back.

“I think you don’t understand,” Lottie said.

“No, I really don’t. He’s too old for you and he’s a teacher so there’s no reason to fantasize about him anyways.”

“Isn’t he your English teacher, Louis?” Lottie asked loudly.

Louis felt caught but he had to remind himself that this was only a question. They couldn’t know about his feelings, they couldn’t know about _them_. “Only for a few months,” Louis mumbled and tried to end this conversation even before it had started.

 

 


	46. Surprise

It wasn’t hard to notice what effect Harry had on girls. Louis’ impression was that almost every girl he knew at school had a crush on Harry, including his friends Lauren and Chloe. They used to giggle and whisper all the time when he was around. The boy tried not to take part in their conversations about Harry because he was afraid that his actions could give him away.

At a certain point of time, he realized that the girls’ behavior really got on his nerves. They tried everything to have a short conversation with Harry, no matter if it was about school or something else. Nadine and her slutty friends even tried to flirt with him several times. How disgusting that was! The more time passed, the more Louis couldn’t stand when Chloe and Lauren were talking about how sexy Harry was or how wonderful his curls were. The feeling that was boiling deep inside of him was new, uncomfortable and Louis was sure it must have been jealousy, but ten times worse than he has experienced this feeling before.

He wondered if Harry enjoyed his popularity. Was he so nice because it was part of his job and he wanted to act professional? Did Harry really like all students? Louis couldn’t notice any differences because Harry treated all students the same way. He was polite to everyone. He wouldn’t walk away ignoring students, no matter who it was, would he? The way he always talked in such a nice way to everyone made Louis’ stomach twitch uncomfortably. It didn’t feel good at all and it got worse the more time passed.

On a Friday afternoon, Louis got a surprising message from Harry after training.

 _Harry: The goal you scored was sick…_  
Louis: Thanks.  
Harry: I’m waiting for you in my car at the very end of school, you know, where the turning area is. It’s a bit hidden, but you will find me.  
Louis: Now?  
Harry: If you like? Just be careful not to be seen.  
Louis: Okay. I’ll need about 15 min. if that’s okay?  
Harry: Confirmed!

 

After messaging back, Louis took a shower and got dressed. Then he rushed over to Harry’s car. Louis opened the door and greeted shortly. The intense smell of Harry’s perfume filled the boy’s head immediately.

“Why?” Louis asked Harry.

Harry smiled. “Put your belt on. It’s a surprise.” Harry winked at Louis while he started the engine.

They soon left Holmes Chapel. Harry drove along the highway for about twenty minutes. Then he stopped at a little parking lot next to a forest. There were no people around and the atmosphere was very quiet. Harry took a rucksack and a blanket out of his car and gave Louis a sign to follow him.

First they walked along the main path but after a while, Harry turned right into the thicket. He pushed the branches away carefully so that Louis could follow without being hurt. The only sounds Louis could hear were the sounds of nature: the wind, a few lonely birds singing in the trees, the crackling branches under their feet and the rustling of the leaves.

Harry and Louis didn’t talk at all until they got to a small glade that was surrounded by huge pine trees. It was a lonely but beautiful place that scared Louis a little bit. Harry guided the boy towards a tiny little wooden forest hut that was hidden behind the trees at the other end of the glade. The hut was made of wood and there was a little bench in front of the crooked entrance door. The silence around them was calming. There were no noises from cars, other people or mobile phones to hear, nothing but the pure sounds of nature. A woodpecker pick somewhere up the trees.

“I like it here,” Louis said quietly.

“You should see this place in summer. I often come here when I need to think about something or when I’m sad. It’s relaxing,” Harry told Louis while he opened his rucksack to pull out a thermos flask and two small cups. He sat down on the little bench and handed Louis a cup of tea. While they were sitting there, the sun was setting through the almost bare trees.

“Do you think that something like fate exists?” Louis asked Harry while he was holding his cup in his hands to keep himself warm.

Harry looked at Louis what made the boy’s stomach twist immediately. “I’m not sure about it,” he said. “Sometimes we have decisions to make. Maybe that comes close to fate.”

Harry leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Louis took the opportunity and looked at him quickly. He felt so good around his teacher and he wished he would feel the same. Was Harry feeling the same? Why had he taken him out here? His dark green beanie let some of his curls stick out, his face had a pale but beautiful tone and his beautiful curved lips were relaxed. Louis couldn’t believe how pretty his profile was. They sat there in silence while the sun had almost disappeared on the horizon.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“I wonder what tells us that we like somebody.”

Shit. Why was Louis asking this? The words just tumbled out of his mouth too quickly and he regretted them right after he had had said them. Harry didn’t respond and Louis was afraid that his question might have been inappropriate. The boy felt a little uneasy. While he kept his eyes straight ahead, the colors around him were slowly fading. It didn’t take long until everything was nearly dark around them.

“For me personally it’s the feeling that I have when the person is around me,” Harry answered all of a sudden. Louis looked at him and their eyes met. “Just like . . . the feeling I have when I’m with you.”

Harry gave Louis a small smile. His look was so intense that it wasn’t possible for Louis to look Harry in the eyes. Louis felt so intimidated next to this beautiful man. He turned his head away and bowed his head.

“I’ve asked myself that question too,” Harry added. “I don’t know exactly what tells us that we like someone but all I know is that I like you.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds. Then, Harry put his arm around Louis’ shoulders and pulled the boy close. Louis put his head onto Harry’s chest almost automatically, just like the times before. Louis took a deep breath. The moment was wonderful and Louis never wanted to let Harry go. They sat like this until the sun had gone completely. The wind started to pick up and made Louis shiver.

“Oh, are you freezing?” Harry asked.

“A little bit, maybe.”

“We should go inside, okay?”

Harry got up, took a key out of his rucksack and unlocked the door of the small hut. Louis carried everything inside while Harry was about to light a small candle that was standing on the little table in front of the worn out sofa. The hut seemed to be very old, there wasn’t much furniture inside. Pictures of wild animals and forests were hung up on the walls and a huge lamp made of antlers was fixed on the ceiling. The smell of wood and some kind of old filled his nostrils.

Louis sat down onto the sofa while Harry took a thick blanket out of the wardrobe and gave it to Louis. Then he took off his jacket and sat down next to the boy. “Come here.” Harry raised one arm so that Louis could scoot closer to him.

The boy put his head onto Harry’s his chest again and nuzzled closer to him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and held him tight. Louis couldn’t remember when the last time was that he had felt so comfortable and secure. He felt every breath Harry took and he listened to his steady heartbeat as he was laying there. It was wonderful and definitely more than he had ever expected being close to Harry would be. It was so intense.

“I like you very much,” Harry said into Louis’ hair while he let his hand rest onto Louis’ chest.

The boy looked up and their eyes met just in that second. Their faces were so close that Louis could feel Harry’s breath on his face. The gentle touch let the butterflies in his stomach almost burst. Still, he couldn’t look him in the eyes for a long time so Louis put his head back onto Harry’s chest, wrapped his arms around his waist and let out a loud sigh.

“Aren’t you feeling well?” Harry asked.

“I’m fine . . . but . . . I can’t believe that you’re here . . . here with me and . . . what you just said,” Louis mumbled quietly while he was tracing the pattern on Harry’s sweater.

Harry gave Louis a small smile while he caressed Louis’ hair gently. Then he let his hand run down Louis’ temples, gently touching the boy’s cheek when he suddenly lifted Louis’ chin up a bit. This was one of these moments that were quite tensed up but not in a bad way. A mixture between nervousness, insecurity and excitement let Louis’ stomach twitch again and his heartbeat increased slowly. He knew something would happen, there was no other way, he just knew. Harry’s look was soft as he was scanning the boy’s face for a few seconds. He was still holding Louis’ chin, so that the boy couldn’t move back – and to be honest, he didn’t even want to. Louis looked into Harry’s eyes too when Harry’s face came closer to Louis’ in slow motion. The boy almost automatically closed his eyes when Harry’s soft lips met his for a second. The feeling was warm and gentle on his lips, so gentle that even that was a whole new experience for him. His heart was hammering in his chest and Harry’s touch made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. When he pulled back, Harry kissed Louis’ hair softly again and gently put the boy’s head onto his chest again. Louis sighted when Harry started to softly scratch his scalp, closed his eyes to enjoy the pleasant feeling that slowly captured his whole body. The wind was blowing strongly outside when Louis almost drifted off to sleep.

“Louis?” Harry said softly. “Louis, your phone is ringing.”

“What?” Louis mumbled. Harry’s voice sounded as if it came from far away. He turned his head, trying to open his eyes that felt too heavy. He must have slept for a while because when he managed to open his eyes, it was pitch black outside.

“Your phone is ringing,” Harry repeated and took his arms off Louis.

“Oh no,” the boy groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t want to get up.”

“You should. What if that’s your mum?” Harry said and got into an upright position so that Louis had to move. “Maybe she worries about you.”

Louis didn’t want to get up because it had been so warm under the blanket. When he walked over to his rucksack, the boy’s body shivered because of the cold. Of course it was his mum who was calling him for dinner. Louis told her he was with Nathan and to his surprise she believed it without asking any questions. Louis went back to the sofa and said down next to Harry again. He nervously picked on the blanket.

“I don’t want to leave,” he said without looking up.

Harry gently ran his fingers through Louis’ hair. “We have to,” he said and kissed Louis’ temple.

While Harry was driving, Louis leaned his head against the car window. What kind of journey was he on?

 


	47. Coming home

When Louis came home, his mum was in the living room with the girls.

“Did you train longer today?” she asked, looking up from her magazine.

“No, we didn’t,” he answered gruffly.

“So what did you do then?”

“I was in the park with some friends,” he lied.

Lottie looked up from her phone. “I was in the park too Louis and you weren’t there.”

Her brother glared at her. “Oh well, maybe I wasn’t right next to you?” he snapped. “It’s not like the park is that small!”

“Don’t bawl at me like that!” she fired back.

“Don’t poke your nose in where it’s not wanted!”

“Louis, Lottie!” Jay said angrily. “Would you just stop arguing in here?”

Louis rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.

“Do you think he’s in trouble or something?” Jay asked Lottie when Louis had closed the door.

“I don’t know,” Lottie answered and shrugged her shoulders. “We haven’t talked much during the last weeks so, who knows.”

 

Louis went to his room where he sat down on the bed and stared at his phone. Eleanor and Nathan had called him twice but there was no message from Harry. He was all Louis could think about. The feeling of being close to him was the best he had ever felt and he missed it. Harry smelled so good, his voice was so raspy and calm and the feeling of Harry’s lips on Louis’ was nearly beyond words. He had really kissed him on the lips. It was just a cute kiss but it was one. Lost in his dreams, Louis got startled by a loud knock on his door.

“Louis?” It was his mum.

“Come in.”

“Darling, is everything alright?” Jay closed the door carefully and sat down next to her son.

“I’m fine,” Louis lied again. He put his phone on the bedside table. “I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

Jay put her hand onto Louis’ shoulder. “Are you sure everything is alright? You know no matter what it is, you can always talk to me.”

“Thank you mum, I know that.”

“You’ve changed during the last weeks.”

“I don’t know about that,” Louis frowned. Maybe he had changed but he didn’t want to talk about it. Plus, he couldn’t tell his mum the truth.

“I’m just worrying about you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, really.” His tone was a bit rude and he immediately regretted it.

“Sorry.” Louis bowed his head. “I didn’t mean it.”

Jay touched Louis’ arm slightly and let her hand rest there. “You know, I just noticed that when you’re home, you’re spending most of your time up in your room. You started being late frequently and your eyes look sad sometimes, Louis. I don’t know what happened and I’m racking my brain over that.” Louis could see she had tears in her eyes.

“Don’t worry mum, I’m alright. School is just stressful right now because we’ve got so much work. I’m still trying to adapt, you know.”

He gave his mum an assuring smile. It hurt Louis that he had to lie to her but there was no way he could talk about his feelings to her. Jay was a kind and lovely person who cared a lot about her children but Louis was still blocked somehow. He couldn’t open up to her, no way. Jay cupped Louis’ hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

“I love you,” she said and kissed Louis hair.

“I love you too, mum,” Louis replied.

When Jay left, Louis laid back on his bed. He took his phone and typed in a message for Harry. It took him about ten minutes until he had finished the simple sentence.

_“I miss you.”_

It was an awkward feeling to finally send the message. Then Louis snuggled into the covers, put the phone away and stared at it, waiting for an answer.

When it buzzed finally, it wasn’t Harry but Eleanor. Hours passed by without an answer from Harry. Louis’ thoughts almost drove him crazy. What if Harry regretted everything? He was so tired that he slowly fell asleep with the phone in his hands.

 


	48. Breakfast

Louis found Phoebe sitting next to him when he woke up.

“Hi Louis, how do you feel today?” she asked and caressed his cheek with her little hand. She was so lovely.

“Good morning Phoebs,” Louis smiled at his sister. “I feel good. I’m just a little tired. What about you?”

“Me too,” she answered, then turned to the side and held the phone in front of Louis’ face. “You got a message from Harry.”

Louis took the phone away from her and shook his head. “You shouldn’t touch my phone without my permission. I’ve already told you so many times that I don’t like that.”

Phoebe bowed her head and pressed her lips together. “I know and I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “It was on the floor and I just wanted to put it onto the bedside table, that’s why I saw it.”

“Oh,” Louis said, put his arms around her and pulled the girl close onto his chest. “Thank you. I think it’s me who should be sorry now.”

The girl wrapped her tiny arms around her brother’s waist. “It’s okay. Who is Harry?” she asked him.

“He’s a friend.”

“A new friend?”

“Yes.”

Phoebe looked at Louis for a few seconds. Then she kneeled down next to him, pushed his shoulders and hugged him.

“Come on, let’s prepare breakfast!”

Then the girl took Louis’ hand and tried to pull him out of bed.

“Come on, come on Louis” Don’t be lazy!”

Louis smiled at her. “Alright love, I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes, okay? Just let me wake up completely and have a shower.”

When his sister was gone, Louis grabbed his phone and read Harry’s message:

_“Annie had a sleepover at my house and Laura will pick her up about five or six. Do you want to come over?”_

 This message made Louis’ heart jump. There was nothing in the world Louis wanted more than spending time with Harry. After he had messaged back, Louis took a quick shower and went downstairs to prepare breakfast with his sister.

“Louis has a new friend!” Phoebe suddenly blurted out.

Louis nearly choked on his cereals what made him cough heavily.

“You do?” Jay asked.

Louis felt his cheeks getting hot. Gladly he was already red from coughing so the color of his face didn’t really attract attention.

 “His name is Harry!” Phoebe said with a smile on her face.

Louis knew her intentions weren’t bad at all. She was just telling something she thought would be interesting for the family so he just let her talk because anything else would have seemed too conspicuous.

“Just stop, okay? It’s absolutely not interesting what you’re telling us,” Lottie griped about her talking. This was the first time Louis was happy about his younger sister’s snotty comments.

“Is he as funny as Nathan and Taylor?” Phoebe continued asking, not slightly impressed by her sister.

Louis knew he had to answer this so he tried to sound as normal as possible. “He is.” The boy nudged his sister’s nose what made her giggle.

“Where did you meet him?” Jay asked while she was buttering her toast.

This was exhausting, really. “He was watching a training session at school and came over to tell me he liked my play,” Louis lied without blinking an eye.

“I really like your friends. Eleanor, Nathan, Taylor . . .” his mum said while she was getting up to fetch something of the kitchen.

Fizzy took a sip of her hot chocolate. “Come on Louis, you have to admit that El adores you. You must be blind if you haven’t noticed yet. You two would make a nice couple, really. I can’t believe you’re still single,” she said. Lottie chuckled.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Maybe you should ask her out if you love her so much,” he snapped while his mum entered the room again.

“Louis, what’s that tone?!” she said sharply.

“They’re annoying me!” Louis replied stressed out. His mum just shook her head and sat down onto her chair again.

“If I was a guy I would definitely want to date her. What a shame I’m not into girls,” Fizzy said what made Lottie laugh out loudly.

“What does it mean, not into girls?” Daisy pulled a questioning face.

“Sometimes girls fall in love girls,” Lottie answered quickly. Her undertone was strange, almost derogatorily.

“Do these girls kiss like Fizzy and Chris?” Phoebe asked right away.

Lottie pulled a disgusted face. “Yes, but it’s completely sick.”

Was she really saying that? Louis could literally feel his pulse quicken rapidly because of Lottie’s words. Her attitude hurt him so bad. All of a sudden Louis wanted was to get out of the room, away from Lottie, away from these rude comments. He quickly finished his bowl of cereal and pretended that he had to go to the toilet. When he had left the room, he heard Phoebe’s voice through the shut door.

“And do boys also like boys sometimes?”

Louis froze.

“Yes they do but that’s even more disgusting,” Lottie answered rudely. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, stop it now, okay?”

Phoebe actually stopped questioning further.

“Homosexuality isn’t right, Phoebe. Boys should fall in love with girls and not with boys. That’s all you should know,” Mum plunged in seriously. “And now please continue to eat your toast. It already got cold.”

Louis was still standing close to the door. His heart was pounding so much and he didn’t know what to do. Should he go back inside? Should he leave? While Louis was struggling, he heard Lottie’s voice again.

”I hate faggots, they’re disgusting, really.”

“Stop it finally!” Fizzy almost yelled at Lottie. “Your nasty comments make me sick!”

“Would you two stop using these words in front of the girls?” Jay shouted at her daughters. “I want you to end this conversation and continue to have a normal breakfast!”

Louis could barely understand the last sentences on his way up to his room. His head was aching and he felt very sad. This morning had opened his eyes and proved that Louis would probably have to hide his real feelings from his family forever. His mum’s and Lottie’s words hurt him, they hurt him so much that he wished he could disappear in a whole and never have to talk to them again.

At half past six, he pushed Harry’s doorbell.

 


	49. Cupcakes and kisses

Louis felt so good to be at Harry’s again. After he had closed the door, Harry wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulled him close and gave him a small kiss on his hair.

“I’m happy that you’re here,” Harry said and gave Louis a smile.

“Me too,” Louis sighted.

“Just sit down in the living room. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Louis took off his shoes and sat down on the huge sofa. It didn’t take long until Harry stepped into the room, hiding both hands behind his back.

“Choose a hand!”

Louis looked at Harry in confusion what made him laugh out loudly. “Just choose a side!”

“The right one?”

Harry opened his right fist and held up a crumbled paper. “Alright Louis, so our special task for today will be . . . we’re going to bake muffins!” Harry smiled and stepped closer to show Louis the small piece of paper.

“That’s a nice idea because I’m an expert!”

Harry frowned jokingly. “So?”

“Yes, I used to bake a lot back home! Trust me. I don’t even need a recipe for muffins.”

Louis got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen with Harry who started to pull out several cups, bowls and ingredients out of his cupboards. Louis weighed out the right amount of flour, milk and sugar for the dough while Harry was putting the eggs into a bowl carefully. Then the boy added all the other ingredients and gave Harry a sign to whisk. Louis was amused about how slowly Harry was working.

He chuckled. “Harry, if you continue to whisk that slowly the dough will fall asleep in a few minutes and won’t rise later,” he teased him.

“Thanks for the compliment, sassy boy,” Harry answered with a wink but continued working on his dough.

The wink made Louis stomach flutter slightly. While Harry was whisking, Louis prepared the whipped cream for the toppings.

“You’re doing it the wrong way,” Harry said seriously.

“What’s wrong?”

Harry’s frown suddenly disappeared and got replaced by a mischievous look. He put the whisk aside, took a little bit of whipped cream out of the bowl and dabbed it onto Louis’ nose.

“Nothing, nothing is wrong!” Harry answered and let out a cute laugh. “You look adorable with whipped cream on your nose!”

Within seconds, Louis took some more whipped cream out of the bowl and smashed it into Harry’s face.

“You won’t get away with it Tomlinson!” Harry half laughed.

He cleaned his face quickly while Louis was about to run out of the kitchen. He managed to escape at first but Harry was faster than Louis. He caught him in the living room, held him close and tried to tickle the younger boy’s waist.

“This is unfair!” Louis shouted, attempting to wriggle out of Harry’s right grip.

“I told you, Tomlinson,” Harry said with a played seriousness as Louis dropped down on the fluffy carpet.

“Will you ever do that again?”

“Stop it, please! I promise. I’ll never do it again!” Louis begged jokingly when he finally let Harry take control over him and stopped moving.

His chest was raising and falling quickly while he was gasping for air. Harry hovered over him as he grabbed both of Louis’ wrists with his right hand and pushed them down over Louis’ head that he couldn’t move anymore.

“Okay, okay, you won!” Louis gave in.

Harry smirked. Their faces were close for a moment so that Louis’ heart almost stopped beating when their eyes met. The tension, the feelings, the butterflies, everything was back again. It was the same feeling Louis had before Harry gave him this cute kiss on his mouth. What if he did it again? Should Louis kiss him back?

Suddenly Harry loosened his grip and pulled the boy up quickly. Then he went to the bathroom to wash his face. Louis went back to the kitchen where he filled the dough into the baking tins, put them into the oven and set the clock for about forty minutes. Harry came back while Louis was melting chocolate in a pot.

“That wasn’t fair. You’re way stronger than I am,” Louis said seriously, stirring the chocolate.

Harry gave him a small nudge on the nose. “You’ll have another chance, I promise,” he said teasingly and ruffled Louis hair.

After the boy had taken the pot off the hotplate, they prepared different toppings together. Harry and Louis choose some garnish that was little sugar hearts, little chips out of chocolate and cute little streusel pieces. After that, they cleaned up the kitchen, pulled the muffins out and decorated them.

Louis told Harry about how he started baking and Harry told Louis that he worked in a bakery a few years ago. Louis wasn’t nervous at all until their eyes met for a few more seconds than usual. This time Harry’s look was different, intense but still soft. His eyes were scanning Louis’ face and he stroke over the boy’s cheek gently. Louis was unable to move and then it happened.

It was just an intention, something Louis wanted to do in this moment. He leaned forward and gave Harry a quick kiss onto his mouth. Just right after he did it, Louis bowed his head and turned away from Harry. He was ashamed of his reaction because he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.

“Sorry . . .” Louis mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” Harry said with a calm voice. “Don’t be sorry.”

He got closer to Louis, placed his right hand under Louis chin and pushed it up gently. Their eyes met again, the tension was electric. Louis’ heart almost jumped out of his chest as he looked into Harry’s beautiful green eyes. Harry’s face came closer to Louis’ and the man closed his eyes. Louis did the same and just in that moment, he felt Harry’s warm lips on his. It was a soft, careful little kiss at first but then Harry brushed his tongue over Louis’ lips gently so that he parted them slightly. Louis kissed Harry back, enjoying the wonderful feeling when his tongue met Harry’s.

Louis had kissed before but it never felt that good. Harry’s kiss sent a shiver down Louis’ spine and made his stomach flutter. He had never experienced something similar in his life, ever. Harry was so gentle, his mouth so warm and soft that Louis whimpered when Harry pulled away slowly.

“That was all worth it, wasn’t it?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded but didn’t say anything. Harry gave him a small smile, took Louis by the hand and walked over to the sofa with him. There they sat down next to each other.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Not for that,” Harry said softly. “You should never be sorry for expressing your feelings.”

He came closer to Louis, leaned over him slowly and forced the boy to lay down on his back. Harry put his hands next to Louis’ torso, straddled him and looked him in the eyes. Harry’s curls hung and necklace tickled Louis’ neck and face as he got closer to Louis again. He placed a little kiss onto Louis’ forehead first and looked Louis in the eyes again. He smiled at the boy, brushed a strand of hair off his forehead and covered Louis’ whole face with tiny playful kisses before he kissed Louis on the lips again. Harry’s tongue was teasing his lips gently until Louis opened his mouth and let Harry’s tongue brush against his gently.

The kisses were slow but incredibly beautiful. The warm feeling in the pitch of Louis’ stomach increased and he felt something else below his tummy he’d never felt that intense before. Louis buried his hands into Harry’s dense hair and bucked up his hips in the heat of the moment. Louis was embarrassed the second he noticed what he had done but Harry didn’t seem to notice or maybe he didn’t seem to mind. The tension in Louis’ crotch was clearly noticeable and he felt his cheeks flush immensely when Harry opened his eyes all of a sudden and explored Louis’ face in complete silence. Harry’s eyes looked sleepy and way too sexy.

“Everything okay?’ he asked softly with a smirk on his face that showed his cute dimples.

Louis nodded shyly and bit his lip in excitement, looking into another direction for a short moment. Harry looked Louis in the eyes while he ran his hand through Louis’ hair. Then he leaned down to kiss him again but this time, he didn’t stop. Harry placed a few tiny kisses all the way to Louis’ ear. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered with his raspy voice what sent a shiver down Louis’ spine. Just the sound of Harry’s voice and his hot breathing made Louis squirm and the feeling in the pit of his stomach got stronger. Harry smirked again and started to kiss a spot next to Louis’ ear before he placed little kisses down his neck so that Louis could feel Harry’s hot breath on his skin again. Harry’s touch and kisses felt amazing but Louis couldn’t quite concentrate as much as he wanted to because he was very insecure. The lack of experience was huge when it came to this what made him almost panic. The feeling he had down there was constantly increasing. When Harry was about to pull Louis’ shirt up and touch Louis’ tummy, the boy grabbed his arm.

“Wait Harry, please . . .” Louis said.

Harry pulled his hand away immediately and moved away from Louis. The boy’s cheeks were flushed while he got up too and scratched the back of his neck. He felt small and stupid on the contrary how perfect Harry looked with his messy curls and his puffy pink lips.

“Have I done something wrong?” Harry asked.

“It’s just . . . I’m . . . I’m sorry . . . I’m . . . I’m just . . . I don’t know,” Louis stammered timidly.

“Louis, I’m sorry,” Harry replied. “Maybe I took it too far, I’m very sorry. I didn’t want to scare you or something,” he assured Louis.

Louis pressed his lips together and moved closer.

Harry put his arm around Louis while the boy curled up next to him. Harry gave him a little kiss onto his hair and Louis wrapped his arm around him. They didn’t talk for several minutes until Louis broke the silence.

“Harry?” he asked and looked up to him.

“Here?” Harry answered and gave Louis a small smile.

“I don’t want you to think that I didn’t like it.” Louis let out a sigh.

Harry caressed his cheek with his thumb. “I noticed,” he answered quietly. “That’s why I thought you’d like to . . .” he said but Louis quickly put his hand in front of Harry’s mouth. He could feel him smile behind it. Harry took Louis’ hand away but held it close to his chest. “You’re so shy, Louis and I think that’s cute,” Harry smiled and kissed Louis’ temple.

Louis sighted again but pulled away from Harry. Then he sat down next to him. “I’ve never had real . . .” Louis mumbled nervously and looked away from Harry because he couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“Sex?” Harry fulfilled Louis’ sentence and laughed out loudly when he looked at the boy’s face again.

Louis pushed Harry playfully what made him giggle.

“It’s just a word Louis, you can say it.” Harry smiled at first then he got serious. “But there are a lot of things people usually do before having real sex, you know.”

Louis flushed because he felt a little embarrassed and intimidated at the same time. Harry reached out for Louis and took one of his hands into his. He had never talked about sex with anyone, at least not in that way and not that detailed.

“It has never been fun for me so far,” Louis said quietly. “You know . . . with girls.”

Harry nodded. “I think I know what you mean. I just want you to know that you can always tell me what you like or when to stop.” His expression was serious. “You have to promise, okay?”

“I promise,” Louis replied.

 


	50. The call

“Hey, wake up.” Harry said and caressed Louis’ cheek.

The boy slowly opened his eyes. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was snuggled up to Harry’s chest. Louis growled, rubbed his eyes and looked at Harry sleepily.

“Good morning,” Harry said jokingly.

“How long have I been asleep?” Louis asked and cupped his face with the palms of his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry all the time. It’s fine. You look cute when you’re asleep,” Harry said and nudged Louis’ nose.

Louis could hear a muffled sound coming from the corridor. Harry gave him a sign with his head. “Someone has been trying to call you over and over again.”

The boy nodded, got up and went out of the room. He took his phone out of his rucksack and saw that he got three missing calls from his mum and one call from Nathan. Nathan had also left a message.

“Louis, where are you? We are waiting for you at the park! We’ve called your mum too but she doesn’t know where you are either! She thought you would be with us, now she’s worrying so much, please call me!” His sounded very upset. Shit.

 

After Louis had listened to Nathan’s message, he remembered that his friends really wanted to meet at the park this evening. Louis had just forgotten about this plan and the worst thing was his mum knew he wasn’t with his them. What should he do? Maybe Nathan would help him. Louis remembered that he offered that to him when they were talking about his last absence.

“Louis, where are you! Are you okay?” Nathan sounded worried when he answered his phone. Louis could hear the others talking near him.

“I’m sorry but . . . I can’t come. A friend needed my help so I forgot about our meeting, to be honest,” Louis lied.

“A friend?” he asked surprised.

“Relationship things, you know.”

“Oh I see!” Nathan answered teasingly. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

Louis paused. “But I need your help.” Nathan remained quiet. “Would you pretend I’m with you so my mum wouldn’t worry?” Louis asked him. “Maybe you could tell her that I came later and that I’m staying at yours overnight? I just need you to confirm it to my mum in case if I . . . you know.” Louis felt a little bit uneasy about it but there was no other way.

“Would you like to tell me who your new friend is?”

“I don’t think so, sorry.”

“That sounds quite mysterious,” Nathan remarked with a funny undertone. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t like. But you have to promise that nothing will happen to you,” he said seriously. “And you have to promise you’re not doing drugs.”

“What are you thinking of me? No, of course I’m not doing drugs and I promise that nothing bad will happen. Everything’s fine.”

“Okay Louis. Now call your mum and tell her you’re staying at my house,” he said. “I’ll tell the others you’ve got a headache or something. Have fun with your girl.” Nathan chuckled.

“You’re a real friend. Thank you so much for your help,” Louis replied. He ignored his friend’s comment.

“Don’t forget to call your mum,” Nathan said seriously. “She’s really worried.”

“I promise I’ll call her in a minute.”

“Have a nice evening. See you then,” Nathan said and hung up.

Louis quickly dialed his mum’s number.

“Louis! Darling! I’m so worried, where are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone? I have been trying to call you a few times but you didn’t answer!” she nearly yelled at Louis. “And even Nathan doesn’t know where you are and he wanted to meet you at the park? Where are you? Why aren’t you there?”

“Mum, please stop yelling at me! Everything is okay. I met some guys from the team at the school pitch and just forgot about the time. Nathan called me a few minutes ago and now I’m on my way.” Coming up with these lies all the time was nerve wracking.

Jay sighted. “Thank god you’re okay. I’m sorry for shouting at you, Louis. I was just worried.”

“It’s okay mum. I might stay at Nathan’s overnight. Is that okay for you or have you planned something?”

“No, I haven’t planned anything. That’s okay. When will you be home tomorrow?” she asked.

“I don’t know yet, maybe in the afternoon or in the evening? I’m sure we’ll go to the park or the football pitch to play football again so I can’t tell you the exact time.”

Jay was okay with that and they ended the call. Then Louis muted his phone, put it back into the rucksack and went back to Harry who was working in the kitchen.

 


	51. New experiences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gives Louis a massage and a hand job.

Harry was putting the dishes out of the dishwasher when Louis walked into the kitchen. He had neatly put all muffins on a silver plate onto the small table next to the window. It still smelled fantastic in the kitchen and the muffins looked delicious so Louis took a pink one, leaned against the fridge and started eating.

“Do you like watching people when they work?” Harry asked jokingly.

“Depends on who it is,” the boy answered and took a huge bite of the cupcake.

“You’re way too sassy. Better run or I’ll tickle the shit out of you again!” Harry said amused while he was washing his hands.

Louis put his bitten muffin back on the plate quickly and ran out of the kitchen. Harry followed him through the corridor into his bedroom. There Harry closed the door behind him and leaned against it. His face was serious.

“You’re trapped, Louis,” he said with a low voice, not looking away from Louis when he walked slowly towards the boy. “Give up.” He smirked and scrutinized Louis’ body with his eyes that were so mysterious and deep green that Louis couldn’t do anything than staring back at him.

He didn’t even try to move like a prey that was hypnotized by a snake before its death. The younger boy just stared at the man in front of him who came closer and closer until he stood right front of him, leaving almost no space between their bodies. Harry cupped Louis’ face with his hands and gently touched Louis’ cheeks, then ran one hand down Louis’ neck and caressed it with his thumb. Louis didn’t look away this time as he put his hands around Harry’s waist and leaned in for a slow, intimate kiss.

Suddenly Harry interrupted the kiss and gave Louis a light push so that he fell back onto the bed where he propped himself up on his elbows. Harry smirked and pushed his hair back slowly. He was wearing a plain white shirt that was tightly attached to his toned body. Harry’s nipples showed under the thin shirt and Louis could also see a few of his tattoos shining through the thin fabric. Harry wore his hair loose, his lips were puffy and his cheeks were flushed in a warm, beautiful rosy tone. Only the sight of him alone was enough to let Louis’ body respond in a way that was completely new for him. Harry was stunning, the most beautiful man Louis had ever seen. He looked at Louis without saying a word.

This was so appealing. There was a certain tension between them again which changed the whole atmosphere all of a sudden. Harry put his knee onto the bed, hovered over Louis and straddled his legs again. His face came closer but instead of kissing him, Louis could feel Harry’s breath on his neck and the tickling feeling beneath his tummy grew steadily. Louis wasn’t quite sure what to do. The boy swallowed hardly while he fixed his eyes on the beautiful man over him. Harry smirked as he glanced fleetingly at Louis’ deformed sweatpants that were giving away his fragile state. The boy flushed again but remained silent while Harry’s fingertips were caressing the boy’s face slowly and his eyes were glued to his. “You’re beautiful, Lou,” he cooed into Louis’ ear, making the boy shiver.

The way he said his name was so appealing, hell it was. Louis had never heard anyone talking that way and it was so sexy and appealing but also a little bit intimidating and unfamiliar at the same time. But did he really mean it? How could Harry Styles think he was beautiful? Louis was the complete opposite of Harry and he didn’t only think about his look. This man definitely knew what he was doing to Louis while the boy had no clue how to react properly. Harry came closer to Louis’ face again so that his thick curls tickled the boy’s face as he leaned in for a kiss. Louis kissed him back, nervously at first. He ran his fingers through Harry’s beautiful hair almost automatically when Harry pushed the boy down onto his bed that he lost balance. Harry pulled away, kissed Louis’ temple and brushed his tongue over Louis’ ear gently what made the younger boy turn his head to the side to give Harry a better access to his sensitive spot. Harry’s breath on Louis felt hot and he could hear him smiling a little when he softly licked over Louis’ outer ear again what made the boy shiver and a quiet moan escaped Louis’ mouth.

Harry smiled against Louis’ ear. “That’s just the beginning, Lou,” he whispered and ran his tongue over Louis’ ear again before he moved on to Louis’ neck.

Louis couldn’t hide his excitement anymore. Everything was so different with Harry, so intense and exciting. The unknown tension in Louis’ crotch area grew from second to second and it didn’t take long until his bulge was big enough to touch Harry’s thigh he had placed between Louis’ legs. The boy squirmed a little because the pressure in his pants was almost uncomfortable as Harry continued to kiss the spot next to Louis’ ear on his neck. He slid his hand up and down the boy’s chest, slightly touching one of his already semi-hard nipples that responded to Harry’s touch immediately. Louis ran his fingers through Harry’s curls again and even tugged them a little. Harry smiled while he pushed his thigh closer to Louis’ crotch on purpose. The boy lifted his head towards Harry who was teasing him for a few seconds but finally their lips met and he leaned in for a deep, heated kiss. Kissing Harry was so intense that Louis’ whole body responded to him. How could someone be aroused so much by a kiss and a few, tiny touches? Harry hadn’t even touched him down there and the tension was already incredible. Louis wanted to stop and to continue at the same time. He was afraid what would happen next but on the other hand he was curious and excited over this.

“Harry . . .” the boy whispered as he put his hand onto Harry’s shoulder to stop him. It wasn’t his intention to whisper but that was the only sound that came out of his mouth in that moment.

“Are you afraid?” Harry asked as he pulled away from Louis.

“I . . . I don’t know. A little bit maybe.” Louis’ voice was barely audible.

 “You don’t need to be afraid but if you want me to stop, please tell me.”

Harry put his hand onto Louis’ tummy and caressed the spot gently, not looking away.

“I don’t want you to stop, it’s just . . . I . . . I haven’t got much experience,” Louis told Harry but he just placed his index finger on Louis’ lips to stop him from talking.

“Don’t worry about that. Just let me take care of you, okay?”

Louis pressed his lips together and nodded as he got up and pulled Harry into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Harry’s torso and leaned his head onto his chest again. Harry held him close for a few seconds before he pushed him down again as gently as he could. Louis touched his face what made Harry smile at him. He kissed Louis quickly and placed soft kisses along Louis’ jawline and neck before he returned to lick and nibble at his ear again. Nobody had done this to Louis before but now he knew that it was one of his most sensitive spots, definitely. Another quiet moan escaped Louis’ mouth.

“Do you want me to stop?” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear what sent shivers down the boy’s spine again.

“No, please don’t stop Harry, it’s just . . . I . . .” Louis cheeks flushed again as he was stammering the words quietly. He pointed to his crotch that showed a huge bulge.

Harry took a short look and smiled. “I know, love. Just have a little patience.”

He caressed Louis’ forehead and leaned back until he was sitting on Louis’ tights. The boy got up too and supported his weight on his hands behind his back to hold the position.

“Can you endure it a few more minutes?” Harry asked Louis while he was pointing at the bulge.

Harry pushed his hair back, then cupped Louis’ face in his palms and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Take off your shirt and turn around. I’ll be back in a few seconds,” he said and got off the bed.

Louis was nervous about everything that could follow as he took off the shirt and laid down on the bed in his jeans only. He crossed his arms under his head, closed his eyes and waited for Harry to come back. How could this be real?

When the man came back, he switched off the main lights. The room was now illuminated by two light chains that were put up around the huge windows. Harry put a little bottle of massage oil and some tissues onto his bedside table and sat down on Louis’ tights. He took the little bottle from the nightstand and dripped some of the liquid into the palms of his hands he rubbed together to distribute the oil and put them at the lower point of Louis’ back, left and right beside the spine where he rested them for a few seconds. The feeling was amazingly warm. Then Harry started to move both of his hands up Louis’ back very slowly until he reached his shoulders.

“You’re quite tensed up here, Lou,” Harry said while massaging Louis’ muscles carefully.

“I know, it hasn’t changed since the last training,” Louis mumbled into the covers.

“Let me see if I can help you,” Harry said and pressed his fingers against certain spots on his back and shoulders.

Louis felt his muscles relax under Harry’s touch that felt quite professional. His slow movements let Louis’ muscles get softer under his touch. Harry worked on Louis’ shoulders and upper back for a while when his hands went up to Louis’ neck where he massaged carefully with his thumbs. From time to time, Harry slid his hands down Louis’ back slowly just to rest them at the bottom of the spine. The touches were so comfortable and relaxing that Louis nearly fell asleep on the bed. Harry continued to massage Louis’ whole back until almost all of the oil was drawn into the boy’s skin.

“This was amazing,” Louis said while Harry was caressing his back with the rest of the oil. “Thank you so much.”

Harry didn’t answer but placed a little kiss onto his neck. After he had finished, he leaned forward and kissed Louis’ temple. “If you want you can turn around now.”

Louis obeyed and turned around.

“Again . . . thank you very much. I . . . I just don’t know what to say, it was wonderful.” Louis said with a shy smile. “I feel so good now. You’re a real pro.”

Harry smiled at Louis as he was passing him a small pillow to put under his head. “I’ve learned a few techniques from my sister, she does that professionally. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Harry kneeled down next to the boy again. “But I haven’t finished yet,” he said with a wink, put more oil into his palms and touched Louis’ tummy with both of his hands. “Close your eyes if you want oh and – please don’t forget to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable.”

Louis put his right hand onto Harry’s thigh and caressed it a little bit. Harry’s hands felt warm on Louis’ tummy as he moved them towards the boy’s chest slowly. He quickly brushed against Louis’ nipples before he slid down to the boy’s tummy again. The feeling was electric and was directed to his lower area immediately. Louis tightened the grip on Harry’s thighs after Harry had touched his nipples with his fingers. Harry chuckled, pushed his hands up again and concentrated on Louis’ nipples again which were hard by now. He circled them a few times before he touched them directly with his index fingers for a while. The feeling in Louis’ lower stomach increased immensely under Harry’s touch. Harry squeezed the boy’s nipples slightly. Then he continued to move his hands down Louis’ torso until he reached the waistband of Louis’ jeans. Louis got up, put his hand on the back of Harry’s neck and pulled him closer for a kiss.

This kiss was more forceful and different than the kisses they had shared before and Harry didn’t stop moving his tongue along Louis’ mouth when he touched his crotch gently through the fabric of Louis’ sweatpants. When his hands slid over Louis’ crotch for the second time and Harry’s grip got a little tighter, Louis just couldn’t lie still anymore. He felt this strong, throbbing feeling down there what almost felt like he was . . . close? What was that? Why? Harry hadn’t even touched him properly! It was embarrassing. Harry was just about to push the sweatpants out of his way when Louis interrupted him.

“Harry wait, please . . .” Louis said while he got up a little bit.

Harry stopped and looked at Louis. His hair was messy, his face red and he looked absolutely stunning. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just . . . I . . . I think I’m close,” Louis whispered quietly. He felt his cheeks getting hot again. “I’ve never experienced something intense like this before and . . . I don’t know. It’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t say that,” Harry said calmly. “You’re new to this, I figured, but it’s fine! You really don’t need to be embarrassed at all.” Harry put one hand onto Louis’ tummy. “Do you want me to help you out of this?” he asked, pointing at Louis’ bulge.

Louis blushed even more. “I . . . I think so . . . yes, please.” The boy bit his lip.

Harry nodded and gave Louis a small smile. “Don’t be afraid, okay?”

He pushed Louis back gently so that his head touched the pillow again. Then he leaned in for a kiss, twisted Louis’ nipples again and placed gentle kisses down his tummy until he reached the waistband again. He pulled the sweatpants down to Louis’ ankles where the boy let them fall onto the floor. Harry’s warm hands got closer to Louis’ crotch where Harry let his hand rest onto Louis’ already hard penis for a few seconds. Then he started to rub it gently through the fabric of the boxers. Louis’ excitement grew as Harry tugged Louis’ underwear down after a few, very light strokes.

“Wow, you’re big!” Harry said, gently touching Louis’ pre-come covered tip with his thumb what let Louis shiver. Harry lied down next to Louis, put his arm around the boy and held him close. Louis could bury his face into Harry’s neck where he placed a gentle kiss before he closed his eyes again to intensify the feeling of Harry’s touches. Harry dripped a bit of massage oil directly onto Louis’ penis, wrapped his right hand around it and started stroking it with a very slow, steady rhythm.

Louis was amazed by the sensation of Harry’s touch and how his body responded to it. It had never felt that good when the boy did this to himself, never. Louis inhaled Harry’s scent and wrapped his left arm around his waist to steady himself. The tension in his lower stomach grew within seconds to an unknown level and as closer Louis got to his high, as heavier his breathing became. It just happened automatically because Harry’s touch was on point, the best ever. The boy whimpered quietly into Harry’s neck while the man started to stroke Louis’ throbbing length with a tighter grip, always touching his tip too. When Harry increased the speed, the boy couldn’t last any longer. He came within seconds and let out a loud moan while he released strings of cum all over his body and Harry’s hands. The sensation of this orgasm was so strong and the spasmic movements indicated how intense this feeling was and Louis nearly saw stars. He had never had an orgasm like this one before and it got even more intense when Harry didn’t take away his hand from Louis’ penis after he had come. Instead, Harry gave him a few more light strokes while Louis’ body was still twitching in pleasure. He kissed Louis’ temple as he held the boy close while he was recovering from his high in Harry’s arms.

“I promise we’ll practice more so you’ll be able last longer,” Harry said with a smirk that made Louis flush again. The man laughed out loudly. “You should see your face! You’re so shy when it comes to this, I love it,” Harry said with a smile and kissed Louis’ eyelids.

 

After a while Louis got cold so Harry offered him to have a hot shower. He gave Louis fresh underwear and a towel. When Louis returned, Harry was reading a book in the living room. Louis sat down next to him and tucked up his legs. Harry handed him a mug of hot tea. He took a quick sip.

“I just want to thank you for . . .” Louis was too shy to say it as he was gesticulating.

“Making you come?” Harry said with a smirk.

Louis nodded shyly and bit his lip. “I never knew it could feel that intense,” he nearly whispered.

Louis was completely embarrassed by his own words but Harry didn’t seem to mind. He ruffled through Louis’ hair playfully. “I’m glad you enjoyed it because I did, too.”


	52. Anne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry tells Louis about his mum, Anne.

“She always said we should enjoy life as much as possible and she did as long as she was able to do it, even in hospital. Anne would read stories to other ill children. She would paint or do handicrafts with them, even if she didn’t feel well at all.” Harry pushed his hair back. “Although she suffered so much she still tried to spread love and happiness around. She was a real role model to a lot of people, especially to me.” He got up and took out a little album from a drawer. “I made an album for her while she was in hospital,” Harry explained and put the red album onto the table. “I added more pictures when she passed.”

Louis sat down next to Harry, put his arm around his waist and leaned his head onto his shoulders. The man showed him the pictures and explained each and every one in detail. Louis enjoyed this special kind of intimacy and he was glad that Harry shared his most personal thoughts with him.

There were only funny pictures at first: Harry with his mum when he was born, Harry with chocolate on his face, Harry and his mum at the zoo, Harry and his mum on a swing, Harry as a fairy, Harry’s first school day. But when it came to the hospital pictures, a lump built up Louis’ throat. The pictures showed how she was deteriorating during her illness. How fragile she looked, shackled to all these computers, infusions and frightening machines. Harry told Louis that she couldn’t even move in her final stage because she was too weak and everything hurt. One of the last pictures showed Anne in a very fragile and sad state. She just laid in her bed with a gaunt face, sunken eye sockets and pale skin.

The pictures let Louis think of his mum. What would he do if she was in such a miserable state? How would he feel if he knew she would have to pass away soon? Only the imagination of her being terminally ill watered his eyes. How was Harry even able to bear that pain at such a young age? Harry kissed Louis’ temple as he noticed tears that were running down his cheeks but he didn’t say anything.

The last page showed her as a wonderful, happy young woman with green eyes and long brown hair, holding Harry when he was a baby. “This was on my first birthday,” he explained proudly. The date gave away that Harry was 25 years old. “You have her eyes and her hair,” Louis remarked and gave Harry a small kiss on his cheek what made Harry smile.

“My mum always told me I shouldn’t waste my time and she was right. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to read “My sisters keeper” with you in class. To show you how unpredictable and precious life is. And that’s the reason you’re here too.”

“What do you mean?”

Harry shut the album and put it aside. He took Louis’ hand in his and looked him in the eyes. “You are special Lou. You’re special and I don’t want to waste my time so I invited you to my home,” Harry explained and kissed him on his lips softly. “You never know how much time you have left.” Harry walked over to the sofa and made a gesture for Louis to follow him.

“But . . . you’re still my teacher and . . .” Louis mumbled as he let himself flop down next to Harry.

Harry put his hand in front of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t think about it now. We’ll find a way how to handle it, I’m sure,” he said. “What do you think about watching another movie?”

After they watched the movie and ate tons of crackers, Harry asked Louis if he wanted to stay for the night. It was already late and Louis was half asleep anyways. The boy was sure that there was no girl in the whole wide world who could make him feel the way he felt when he was with Harry. Louis fell asleep in his arms.

 


	53. The next morning

The next morning Louis found Harry asleep in bed next to him. He couldn’t remember how they got in there. It was still dark outside so he closed his eyes again, nuzzled closer to Harry and put his arms around his torso. Harry made a sleepy sound, opened his eyes a bit and looked deep into Louis’.

“Sorry . . . I didn’t want to wake you,” Louis said quietly, pulling his arms away from Harry.

Harry smiled at him. “You didn’t. Good morning love,” he said with his raspy morning voice and pulled Louis closer to his body.

Harry kissed Louis’ forehead and closed his eyes again and so did Louis. The feeling of having Harry close and all of a sudden the thought of his ex-girlfriends came to his mind. Louis used to snuggle with them too but it was never as good as this. He turned around because his arm was going numb what made Harry scoot closer immediately. The boy could feel Harry’s breath on his neck and sighted quietly.

“What’s on your mind?” Harry asked in his sleepy voice, his eyes still closed.

“I like to be around you,” Louis said and put his hand over Harry’s. Harry interlocked his fingers with Louis’ while he was nuzzling his face closer to the boy's neck, kissing it gently. “But what if someone finds out?” Louis asked further and turned around so that he faced Harry.

The man slowly caressed Louis’ cheek with his thumb. “It’s difficult, I know and I’m thinking about it all the time,” he answered. “I won’t be your teacher forever, that’s the good news. Mrs. Holloway will probably come back soon and I’ll have to leave this school anyways since I’m only deputizing.”

“But . . . I don’t want you to leave!"

Louis nuzzled closer to Harry and hid his face under the covers. What was that feeling inside of him? He knew Harry for a few months only and already felt something like . . . he wasn’t sure if it was love but he definitely had a crush on him, a massive one. The butterflies in his stomach were definitely there, everything was exciting and he felt nervous almost all the time. Louis just didn’t want to think about the day Harry would eventually have to leave.

“I still don’t know where I’ll be afterwards but maybe it won’t be far away. Let’s not think about it now, okay?” Harry tried to calm Louis down. “We just have to be careful,” he said. “And now close your eyes again. It’s very early in the morning and we should get some more sleep.”

Louis snuggled closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

 


	54. Trouble at home

Louis got home before lunch on Sunday. The house seemed quiet when he stepped in. “Hello?” he shouted when suddenly the kitchen door flew open and his mum glared at him furiously.

“Louis William Tomlinson!” Jay yelled while she was walking towards her son, waving her hands in the air. “Louis, where have you been? I’ve tried to call you several times but you didn’t answer!”

“But . . . we talked on the phone! I was at Nathan’s, don’t you remember?” Louis fired back desperately.

His mum seemed to get even more enraged. “Don’t take me for a ride! You haven’t been with Nathan!” she yelled at Louis while he was trying to set up a straight face. “I saw Nathan and your friends at the park, about one hour after we talked on the phone and you weren’t there!”

“You can’t be serious mum, you’re literally stalking me?”

“No Louis, you should know that I would never stalk you! Carol went out with her friend Ruby because she had to walk her dog and they asked me if I would like to accompany them,” she yelled. “I passed there by chance, not because I wanted to stalk you!”

Louis’ knees got weak and he felt a lump growing in his throat while his mum was gesticulating frantically.

“I tried to call you again and when you didn’t answer, I called your friend Nathan. His mum told me that he was in his room but you weren’t there!” Her voice rose and her face was glowing red of anger. Louis felt caught. She placed both of her hands onto her son’s shoulders and shook him a little.

“Louis, tell me, where have you spend the night? Why are you lying to me?” She clearly was in turmoil and her voice was so loud, nearly frightening. “I couldn’t sleep all night, I called your friends Eleanor and Taylor but they didn’t know either!” Louis could see tears wetting her eyes. “Louis, I’m asking you again. Where have you spent the night?”

For the first time Louis was afraid of her. He had never seen her reacting that way, never. A wave of heat rushed through Louis’ body, his heart was pounding immensely and the lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Louis pushed his mum away, ran into his room and locked it. His heart was still hammering against in his chest when he heard her walking up the stairs.

“Louis, open the door!” she shouted angrily and knocked on the door loudly.

“Leave me alone please!” Louis nearly cried. The tears were running down his face without warning. “Just leave!” he begged almost barely audible while he collapsed to the floor, crying.

“Your behavior will have consequences for you, definitely!” she threatened her son and walked away.

Louis took off his clothes, slid under the covers of his bed and pressed a pillow onto his head. Only the thought of Harry made him cry like a baby. He missed him so much. He missed his calming voice, his warm touch, his smell, his curls, the way his dimples showed when he smiled. Louis missed everything about him. He didn’t want to hide Harry, he didn’t want to lie to his family and friends but there was no other way. Why couldn’t he just tell his mum where he had been? Why couldn’t he just bring Harry home and hang out with him in public? Why was everything so complicated?

After a while someone knocked on Louis’ door and tried to turn the doorknob. “Louis, are you in here?”

Louis recognized Phoebe’s voice and let her in. “You’re the only one who is allowed to come in here today,” Louis said and locked the door again.

“What are you doing?” she asked her brother.

“I’m relaxing.”

Phoebe jumped onto his bed. “Can I relax with you then?” she asked and looked at Louis expectantly.

“Of course,” he nodded and got under the covers with her.

Phoebe lied down next to her brother and put her hands under her cheek. “You look sad,” she remarked, poking Louis’ eyes gently. “They’re red.”

Louis didn’t answer.

“Is it because of your new friend Henry?” Phoebe asked.

Her words made Louis smile a little although he was close to tears again. “Harry. His name is Harry,” Louis said almost whispering as a tear ran down his face.

“Has Harry hurt you?”

Louis froze. It felt as if she was digging a hole into his heart. The boy shook his head while more tears were streaming down his face. Louis didn’t even try to wipe them away.

“So if Harry hasn’t hurt you, he must have made you very happy,” she remarked with a smile.

What? Why was she saying that?

“Do you like Harry?” she continued asking. Louis nodded.

“Do you like Harry as much as Fizzy likes Chris?”

“What would you say?” Louis asked his little sister quietly.

“I’d say you do.” Phoebe nodded and nuzzled closer to her older brother.

“But please don’t tell anybody, it’s our little secret.”

Phoebe nodded. “I won’t tell anyone, pinky promise.”

 

 


	55. Bad mood

When Louis was about to leave his room on Monday morning, he saw a white piece of paper stuck under his doorframe.

_“Louis, I didn’t want to scream at you. I was worried, that’s all. I hope you have a lovely day. Love, Mum.”_

Louis sighted when he read the message because the argument with her was still present and let him feel uncomfortable. After he had a shower, he went downstairs where he met Fizzy in the kitchen.

“Morning,” she muttered in an unfriendly tone. “You know that mum worried a lot about you yesterday, don’t you?”

Louis could tell she was really angry but he didn’t want to talk about it at all. “It’s none of your business okay?” he yelled at her.

Fizzy gave him a horrified look. “Stop yelling. You’re my brother and we are all worrying about you! Where have you been last night?”

“Has mum told you to get on my nerves until she comes home from work?” Louis said angrily as he took a bottle of milk out of the fridge. “I won’t tell you. Mind your own business.” Louis filled a bowl with cereals and milk before he walked out of the kitchen.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Fizzy yelled from downstairs.

Louis didn’t answer. He ignored her sister and slammed the door to his room.

 

On his way to school, Louis met Nathan near the park.

“I’m really sorry . . .” his friend said the second he saw Louis.

Louis put his hand on his shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I shouldn’t have tried to lie again.”

“Could you help your friend at least?” Nathan asked Louis what left the boy puzzled for a few seconds. Then he remembered his little white lie and nodded.

“Yeah, I helped Harry,” Louis blurted out but immediately regretted his words. Oh no. He blushed furiously and rubbed his neck.

“Harry? Oh . . . and I thought you spent the night with your secret crush,” Nathan smiled.

“Obviously not, no.” If he only knew.

Nathan put one arm around Louis’ shoulders. “Hey Louis but . . . are you sure you don’t do drugs or something like that? I was worried a little because . . . “

Louis interrupted him harshly. “Are you serious? No, Nathan, I’m not doing drugs! And I have already told you!”

“Okay, okay!” the taller boy held his hands up. “I was just wondering . . .”

Luckily Eleanor came running towards the boys in this moment. She hugged them and gave Louis a kiss on the cheek, as usual. “Louis, are you okay? My mum told me your mum called us because she didn’t know where you were last night?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “It was just a false alarm. Nothing happened,” he said annoyed.

“He was just with his mysterious new friend Harry,” Nathan teased and smiled at Eleanor.

Just in that moment Louis wanted to throw something at him.

“Do I know him?” Eleanor asked curiously.

“No you don’t,” Louis snapped at her. “Could we just stop talking about him now? It’s not that important. This topic has caused me enough trouble yesterday so please stop.”

Louis was relieved his friends actually did him the favor and stopped talking about him or Harry. They walked down the corridor to the classroom when Louis saw Harry standing a few meters away, talking to a girl. An intense feeling of happiness and jealousy made the boy’s stomach twist. It was so hard for Louis not to keep staring at Harry because he looked amazing in his blue plaid, black skinny jeans and black boots. Louis noticed that Harry gave her a sweet smile, the one that made his dimples show.

“Louis!” Nathan’s voice startled him.

“What?”

“Forget this girl over there. Amy’s taken and way too old for you,” he said while he was putting his arm around Louis’ shoulders.

“What are you talking about?” Louis frowned.

“Amy,” Nathan said and pointed towards the girl who was talking with Harry.

“Maybe I should ask you if you’re doing drugs,” Louis snapped.

“Sorry Lou, I was just . . .”

“Stop it. Just stop talking to me today because I’m in a really bad mood.”

Louis was so annoyed and stressed out by the whole situation that he couldn’t hold back his temper. He knew that he was being unfair, but whatever.

Nathan just shrugged his shoulders and walked into the classroom first without saying anything. Louis had never thought that having a secret could be that stressful. But it wasn’t just that. He missed Harry as well and couldn’t stand the imagination of other people being around or close to him. All Louis wanted was to walk over to Harry, hug him and give him a kiss but of course it wasn’t possible. What kind of horror was this? He had to hide his sexuality, he couldn’t talk about his feelings and Harry Styles was his teacher. How could Louis forget that and how could he believe their relationship or whatever it was could work? Reality hit Louis harder than he thought and his bad mood got worse that day.

 

The English lesson was a torture. Being so close to Harry but not being allowed to express his feelings drove the boy crazy. He had never experienced this emptiness before so it was hard for him to cope with this feeling.

During the third lesson he couldn’t stand it anymore. Louis got the idea to fake a headache and snug into Harry’s office. Luckily his biology teacher allowed him to go outside and get some fresh air. Instead of leaving the building, Louis rushed up to Harry’s office on third floor.

“Louis, what are you doing here?” Harry asked Louis reproachfully.

Harry didn’t greet him, there was no smile, no hug, anything. Who was this man in front of Louis? They stood in front of each other like strangers.

“I . . . I missed you and . . . I just wanted to see you,“ Louis stammered nervously.

“You should be in class,” Harry responded. “You shouldn’t skip lessons.”

Louis had tears in his eyes and his voice was trembling as he tried to justify his spontaneous visit. “I don’t know what’s going on with me! I . . . I just miss you terribly and . . . when I saw you with Amy this morning . . . I . . . I don’t know it hurts . . . and . . . I . . . I don’t know,” Louis sobbed and bowed his head, hiding his face in the palms of his hands.

He wished that Harry would hug him, that he would wrap his arms around his body and pull him close for comfort but he didn’t.

“I’m sorry but I have plenty of work for today so you should go back to class now,” was all Harry said.

Then he went back to sit down behind his desk where he continued working, completely ignoring Louis. What was that? Harry didn’t want to spend time with him, it was obvious and he had never been so cold toward him. Harry’s words broke the boy’s heart into pieces. Louis left the office without saying goodbye.

At the staircase, Louis met his teacher Mr. Barker and Nathan, both of them carrying some books. When Mr. Baker saw Louis walking down the stairs, his facial features changed immediately.

“Louis, what are you doing up here?” he wanted to know in a strict voice.

“I . . . I was just . . .” Louis stammered nervously.

“I thought you had a terrible headache? And now you’re walking around the building?”

“It was true but . . .” Louis tried to think of a suitable excuse but none came to his mind.

‘”There are no excuses for this, Tomlinson. I don’t want to see you in my class today,” he said angrily.

Louis bowed his head. He felt guilty because he had never lied to a teacher before. “I’m sorry, Mr. Baker.”

“Wait!” Mr. Baker said. “Come to me after the lesson has finished. I will give you the detention information. And don’t forget to show it to your parents, otherwise I’ll call them tomorrow evening.”

Louis’ knees were trembling and his heart was hammering in his chest. Nathan gave Louis a sympathetic look as he passed him. What should Louis tell him later? What should he tell his mum? After the class had finished, he went to the classroom again just as Mr. Baker had ordered. The teacher handed him the detention information.

“What happened?” Eleanor asked when they met outside. Nathan was there too.

“Mr. Baker thought that I lied to him, that’s why I have detention now.”

Eleanor frowned.

“He thought I was outside because of my headache but he caught me upstairs . . . I mean, I went there to sit down at that relaxing area.”

Louis felt how his cheeks flushed while he was trying to find an appropriate excuse.

Eleanor didn’t seem to mind. She put her arms around Louis’ shoulders. “Forget about him, he’s an asshole. Let’s have lunch now, okay?” she said sweetly.

“Sorry for being so rude this morning,” Louis apologized.

Nathan put his arms around Louis’ shoulders too. “We’re friends and sometimes life isn’t full of happiness,” he remarked as they were walking towards the canteen.

“Don’t worry about it.”

 

 


	56. The argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay and Louis have an argument because Jay found the note.

Louis’ mum was busy packing boxes for the move when Louis showed the detention sheet to her.

“You’ve never been in detention except for last time. Why does it happen to you now?”

Louis could tell his mum was disappointed but she put her signature on the sheet and gave it back to him without any other comment. While Louis was filling a glass with orange juice, she turned towards him. “You still haven’t told me where you were last Saturday night.”

“Mum, please!” Louis whined loudly. “I’m not a baby anymore.”

His mum bent her body towards the boy and raised her voice. “No, you’re not a baby anymore but you are my son and you aren’t eighteen yet and as long as you live here in my household you’ll stick to my rules!”

“I was at a friend’s house, alright?”

She shook her head. “No Louis, it’s not alright!” Louis hated when his mum took everything word-for-word.

“Who is this person? Why weren’t you with your friends although your meeting was planned and why didn’t they know anything about where you where? Don’t lie to me Louis, don’t you dare to lie to me again!” Jay’s voice was angry and scared Louis. Her facial features were severe.

“It’s the truth okay?” he yelled at her, trying to protect his lie. “I was at a friend’s house, he needed my help and I . . . I just forgot to tell the others, what’s the big deal?”

Louis hadn’t even finished his sentence when his mum threw the tea towel onto the working surface next to her. The towel hit a few glasses that fell into the sink with a huge noise, and broke.

“This is not the right tone to talk to me, my friend!” Jay yelled. “Leave the kitchen and stay upstairs today. I don’t want to discuss with you anymore and I don’t want to listen to your lies!”

She turned away and put the pieces of broken glass into the trash bin. “Oh, and forget about friends, parties, football training, your phone, the internet or watching television for the next week,” she glared at her son. “You will only leave this house for school, and you will come back directly after it has finished.”

“You aren’t serious!” Louis yelled at her angrily but she didn’t react.

“Bring me all your electronic devices and the wires from your television and DVD player that are up in your room,” she said and glared at Louis with cold eyes. “I’m waiting.”

Louis left the kitchen, covered in tears. While he walked up to his room, he thought about telling Harry about his punishment but in that second he remembered how cold he had been at school and the thought of it caused a burn in his heart. Louis switched off his phone without messaging Harry, pulled all wires out of their devices and looked for the tablet. After Louis got everything, he went downstairs to put everything on the kitchen table without saying a word. When he was about to leave Jay stopped him.

“Is there something else you would like to tell me?” she asked but Louis shook his head. “Are you sure?”

Louis looked at his mum who gave him a distrustful look and pulled out a yellow piece of paper out of her kitchen apron.

“I found this in a pocket of your jeans,” she said emotionless and handed him the crumbled piece of paper.

Louis felt hot and cold waves rushing through his body, his stomach almost turned and his heartbeat increased while he was staring the yellow note on the kitchen table. He was afraid what was about to come because he knew she had found his note and he had never seen his mum looking at him with such a hateful and despising glare.

The boy sat down at the kitchen table. He stared at the note while his brain was still trying to process the situation. She had really found the note. She had found it. This was a nightmare and the conversation his sisters had a few days ago flashed in front of his eyes, making his heart race and his stomach turn.

_“Homosexuality isn’t right Phoebe. It’s a shame, it’s abnormal. Boys should fall in love with girls and not with boys. That’s all you should know.”_

The words of his mum played in his head over and over again.

“Who is this Harry?” Jay suddenly yelled at Louis. She hit the wooden table with the palm of her hand what made him startle. “What means “I like you”, explain that to me, now!” Her eyes flashed with anger.

Louis was so scared. Her body language, her tone, her words, everything seemed so unreal. Jay made Louis feel small and humiliated within seconds. The boy had tears in his eyes when his mum pushed a chair back to sit down too.

“Louis, don’t play games on me. Who is Harry!?” Her voice was still so loud and absolutely terrifying.

“He’s a friend,” Louis said barely audible.

His mum got up from the chair and bent her body over his, what made Louis scoot away from her. “He’s not just a friend, am I right? Read it again, read this note!” She took the note from the table and threw it into the boy’s direction. “Do you think I’m a fool?” she yelled.

Louis’ hands started shaking as he burst into tears and started to cry. Jay didn’t seem to care. “I’ve done so much for you Louis and as a result I have to find out that my son is gay?” she continued her verbal assault while she was waving her hands in the air furiously.

“You are scaring me, mum! Stop it!” Louis sobbed loudly. “Please, please stop!” he begged with a tearful voice.

“No Louis, _you_ are scaring me! All those years I’ve worked so hard for you and your sisters, you had everything you wanted and what is the result?” She covered her face with her hands, exhaled loudly and walked a few steps away. Then she turned around again. “I can’t believe you turned into a god damn faggot Louis!”

The choice of her words nearly made Louis choke on his own tears. Faggot, it was the same word Harry’s father had used in his letter. Louis looked at her with his mouth open, not able to process what he had just heard.

“What are you calling me?” Louis yelled back at her, his eyes bloodshot and his face stained with tears.

“Aren’t you?” she asked cynically. “Look at that note and tell me you’re not. Tell me you’re not gay.”

Louis took the note, got up and wanted to leave but his mum didn’t let him. She grabbed Louis’ arm harshly and pushed him back so that he stumbled and almost fell onto the corner bench.

“Louis, tell me you’re not gay. Tell me now!” she screamed desperately, almost begging. Her face was only inches away from her son’s.

Louis shook her hands off roughly, got up again and faced her directly. “You want me to say it? Okay, I’m gay, mum! I’m gay! I don’t like girls, I like boys!”

Louis’ voice was stronger than he expected it to be although tears of anger, sadness and disappointment were still running down his cheeks. “Keeping me away from my friends won’t help you, no matter what you do! I’ll never like girls the way you want me to like them! Never! No matter what you do, no matter what you say, I will never change because it is what it is!”

For a second, his mum was absolutely paralyzed by Louis’ words. The boy didn’t remember how it happened, but a few seconds later his right cheek was burning enormously as his mum slapped him right into the face for the first time in his life. Her hit was so strong that he stumbled backwards and hit the back of his head on the door frame.

“What are you doing mum?!” Phoebe shrieked loudly, her eyes and mouth wide open. “You hurt him!” she yelled and put her tiny arms around her brother’s waist.

Louis hadn’t noticed her.

“It’s none of your business, Phoebe. I’m sorry,” Jay said with a low voice.

“And you Louis, just get out of my sight!” she said harshly, turned around and continued to peel potatoes for dinner.

 

 


	57. Escape from home

Phoebe held Louis’ hand while they were walking up the stairs. “Why did mummy hurt you?” she asked when they stepped into his room. She was clearly shocked and couldn’t understand her mum’s reaction. “Why?”

Louis wiped the tears away, sat down on his bed and took both of her hands in his. “Do you remember when we talked about Harry?” he asked her.

She nodded. “You said you like him.”

Louis pressed his lips together and nodded too. “Yes I do. But mummy doesn’t like that and now she’s angry with me,” he tried to explain the situation.

Phoebe climbed onto his lap. “But it’s not wrong to like somebody, isn’t it?”

“It’s not. But he’s a boy and not a girl. Mummy wants me to like girls, not boys.”

Phoebe touched the burning skin with her index finger, kissed his hurt cheek as if she wanted to soothe the pain. Then she put her arms around her brother’s neck and gave him a long hug.

“But it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl, does it?”

Louis gave her a weak smile. “You’re such an amazing little person,” he said and gave her a kiss on her cheek. “It shouldn’t make a difference but mummy doesn’t like it. Maybe she’s just stressed out because of the move, you know. So much work to pack all boxes and stuff.”

When Phoebe left, Louis lied down on his bed. His thoughts immediately started to circle around his mum. He never knew that she was homphobic because they had never talked about that topic before. His mum had verbally and physically assaulted him, she had called him a faggot and with that word she hit him right into the face, cold and emotionless. The physical pain wasn’t the worst, not at all. His heart was aching and he couldn’t hold back the tears that just rolled down his cheeks.

Louis felt desparate. He felt as if he was trapped in a cage he couldn’t escape of and suddenly all he wanted was to get away from this hell. There was no way he would stay in this house any longer. The only person he wanted to be with was Harry, so he quickly packed a few things into his rucksack, grabbed his skateboard and tried to sneak out.

After he had put on the shoes, his mum noticed him and rushed out of the kitchen. She grabbed his arm strongly and pulled Louis up. “Where are you going? Louis, you’re placed under house arrest!” Jay yelled at her son again. “I won’t allow you to go out at all!”

“Stop touching me!” Louis yelled angrily, shook her arm off harshly and pushed his mum away so that she nearly stumbled over the shoes in the corridor. In that second, Louis took his skateboard and his rucksack, then left the house as quickly as possible. He ran down the street and jumped onto his skateboard after a few meters while his mum yelled his name over and over again but Louis didn’t stop.

 


	58. A save place

Everything was blurry when Louis pushed Harry’s doorbell because he had been crying for minutes. His head was aching terribly and his heart was absolutely shattered. After several minutes that felt like hours, Louis finally heard Harry’s voice through the intercom.

“Who is it?” he asked.

“Louis,” the boy cried and pushed the door open when he heard the buzzing tone.

When Louis entered Harry’s apartment, he was covered in tears. Harry just pulled the boy into a warm hug and held him close for a long time.

“I . . . I’m sorry that . . .” Louis’ whole body was shaking as he tried to speak. Harry caressed Louis’ cheek with his thumb and tried to wipe away the tears gently. “My . . . my . . . mum found . . . the note and . . . and . . . she . . .” Louis stammered. His body was shaking and his voice was trembling.

Harry kissed Louis’ hair, took him by his hand and led the boy into the living room where he sat down in his armchair and pulled the exhausted boy onto his lap. Louis buried his face into Harry’s neck while the man wrapped his strong arms around him and let him cry like a baby.

“Let it all out, it’s okay,” Harry whispered against his hair.

He caressed Louis’s back gently, kissed his forehead and wrapped his arms tighter around the upset boy.

“I’m sorry,” Louis sobbed into Harry’s neck.

He gave Harry a kiss on his temple and rubbed his eyes that were red from crying. It was wonderful to be with Harry in this situation, his touch alone made Louis feel better. The boy put his head onto Harry’s chest and listened to his heartbeat. The steady rhythm and the smell of his perfume calmed him down after a while.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Harry said quietly and gave Louis a little kiss onto his wet cheek.

Louis just lied there for a few more minutes with his eyes closed. He ran his fingers up and down Harry’s arm, placed a little kiss onto the soft skin of Harry’s neck before he lifted his head and looked into Harry’s eyes. Harry caressed Louis’ cheek gently and wiped away his tears.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked Louis quietly while he took the boy’s hand in his and squeezed it.

Louis nodded in silence, let out a few more sobs and wiped his face with his sleeve. “My mum found the note and . . .”

Just in that moment he got overwhelmed by his feelings again. He remembered his mum’s reaction, how she yelled at him, how she threw the note at him, what she called him and everything. It made him cry again although he didn’t want to.

“She was so angry . . . and . . . she . . . called me a fag . . . a faggot . . .” Louis voice cracked. He was completely covered in tears and his hands were shaking as he wiped his eyes over and over again. “And then . . . then . . . she . . . slapped me.” Louis collapsed onto Harry’s body again, his arms wrapped around the older guy’s shoulders as he was sobbing loudly. “The worst thing was that . . . you know . . . that my little sister . . . my little sister Phoebe saw it.”

“Shhh baby, don’t talk,” Harry whispered quietly into Louis’ ear while he held the boy tight and didn’t let go until Louis calmed down again.

“You mum slapped you? She slapped you in front of your little sister?”

Louis nodded in silence.

“This is awful, I’m so sorry.”

Louis wiped his face with the wet sleeve again.

“I didn’t want to tell her that I was into boys because I listened to a conversation my mum had with my sisters one morning and . . . she said hurtful things about gay people,” Louis blurted out. “I never thought she could be so cold and emotionless, never in a million years. You know, I’ve never seen her like this before. I’m scared to return home, Harry. I don’t want to, I can’t.”

Harry pushed Louis’ head to his chest again and caressed the boy’s back slowly. “You don’t have to go, baby. You can stay here with me tonight, if you like.”

Louis sighted loudly. Had Harry just called him baby? He knew it was the right decision to come here. This place was his sanctuary, his shelter from everything bad that happened around him and Harry was like medicine, he was his friend and . . . maybe even more?

The boy was so exhausted that he went to bed after a while. Harry needed to finish some work for school first and when he stepped into the room, Louis was almost half asleep. Harry snuggled under his covers and looked at the boy for some minutes.

“How can somebody be so mean to you,” he whispered and caressed his cheek.

Louis took Harry’s hand. “I’m so afraid to return home.”

He just couldn’t forget how angry his mum was, how she glared at him and how she turned into this hateful person. Harry lifted his cover and patted the space next to him. Louis rolled over and pressed his back against Harry’s warm body. Harry nuzzled closer to the boy, put his right hand around Louis’ torso and buried his face into Louis’ neck. His hot breath and the gentle kisses he placed there sent shivers down Louis’ spine.

“Does your family know who I am?” Harry asked.

“No. They just know your name is Harry,” Louis explained. “But they don’t know that you are my teacher.”

“This thing is quite complicated, isn’t it?” Harry asked against Louis’ neck and sighted.

Louis kissed Harry’s cheek and nuzzled closer to him.

“Thank you for everything,” he said.

The boy listened to Harry’s breathing until he fell asleep in Harry’s arms.

 

 


	59. A complete new experience

In the morning, a sharp ringing interrupted Louis’ sleep. The boy opened his eyes slowly and saw Harry next to him who was trying to push down the button of his clock. Louis rubbed his eyes, pulled the cover up so that almost all of his face was hidden.

“Good morning,” Harry said with his raspy morning voice and caressed Louis’ cheek gently.

“I don’t want to get up,” Louis mumbled, held Harry’s hand close and kissed it.

Harry smiled. “What if we stayed here?”

Louis looked disbelievingly at Harry. “I don’t have lessons today so I don’t have to be at school and we can think of an excuse for you later.”

“But what if . . .”

”Don’t forget I’m your supply class teacher. There’s nothing for you to fear,” Harry said with a smirk.

Louis giggled, closed his eyes again and fell asleep within minutes. When he woke up for the second time that day, Harry was looking at him with soft eyes.

“Good morning again,” he said jokingly. “Has somebody already told you that you look cute when you’re asleep? I’ve been watching you for a while.”

Louis gave him a light nudge.

“Hey! Don’t mess with me! I’m your teacher!” Harry yelled joyfully and hovered over the boy quickly, placing both of his hands next to Louis’ head.

“And what would happen if I wouldn’t stop messing with my teacher?” Louis teased him playfully.

Harry smirked. “Well Louis, I think if you wouldn’t stop messing with me, I’d kiss you,” he said with a wink and poke Louis’ nose a few times.

“That’s a good thing,” Louis replied, put both of his hands around Harry’s neck and pulled him close for a kiss.

Suddenly, his stomach did a strange sound which made both of them laugh. “Maybe we should have breakfast first,” Harry suggested and got off the bed.

While Harry was showering, Louis had enough time to overthink what had happened the day before. How should his life continue? Harry’s apartment was like a shelter for Louis, a safe place where he could escape from his problems but it was clear that it could only be a temporary solution. What should he tell his mum? Could he ever talk to her again?

 

During breakfast, Harry and Louis had a nice conversation about Harry’s university years in Manchester. Louis couldn’t get enough of this beautiful raspy voice of Harry’s. It was definitely the softest he had ever heard. While Harry was talking to Louis, the boy took the opportunity and observed Harry’s beautiful face. His hair played softly around his face that was absolutely beautiful. His green eyes were full of life and Louis just loved to see Harry smile because his dimples would show and they were the cutest thing Louis had ever seen. It was still incomprehensible to him why Harry was here with him. Everything that had happened between them seemed so surreal, so unrealistic all of a sudden.

“Louis?” Harry asked, waving his hand in front of the boy’s face.

“Uhm . . . sorry, I . . . I was just thinking.” Louis blushed.

“You’re always thinking about something, aren’t you? I can’t read your mind, maybe I’ve missed this course at university,” he said jokingly.

Harry got up and went to the coffee machine to refill his cup. As he was leaning against the sink, he pushed his hair back and crossed his legs. How could someone look so good, so amazingly beautiful? He was just wearing black sweatpants and a plain grey shirt but still . . .

“Well, it’s just . . . you know it’s difficult for me to say that because it might sound stupid . . .”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “You could try at least.”

“To be honest . . . I can’t believe all this,” Louis said and gesticulated with his hands. “This whole thing with you is so . . . special to me. I’m only seventeen and you’re my teacher . . .” Louis tried to get to the point while Harry was fixing his eyes on the boy, taking a sip of his coffee. “I can’t believe it’s real because I’m still in school and you’re not but . . . I don’t know . . . you’re so nice to me and I’m experiencing new things with you and . . . maybe . . . I mean I never had a proper relationship that I liked and that makes me feel insecure somehow because you’re older and you’re much more experienced in a lot of things I . . . I haven’t done yet,” he rambled.

It was awful, what the hell was he talking about. Louis sighted because he couldn’t really express what he wanted to. “I don’t know if all this is real.” he added and hid his face behind the palms of his hands when he had finished talking.

Harry crouched down in front of Louis, put his hands on his knees and gave him a small smile. “Louis, don’t say that. You’re younger but you are so much more. You’re a talented football player and obviously you can skateboard, which I can’t. I’ve never been good in football, never. You can make people laugh easily, you’re smart and you’re always a good chat. Sometimes it’s unimportant if you’re a student, a teacher, a lorry driver or a lawyer. The person only matters and what you feel for them.” Harry paused and pushed his hair back. “I like you so much and you have to trust me that I’m not playing with you, not at all.” Harry’s look was serious as he lowered his voice. “I might have done that to others before but . . . not to you. Even if you’re young, you’re different than other boys your age and wonderful.” Harry cupped Louis’ face and gave him a kiss on the lips which Louis returned.

“Thank you so much,” Louis said and hugged Harry.

These were the nicest words Louis had heard for months. When he was about to help Harry with the dishes, he suddenly interrupted him. He took the plates out of Louis’ hands, put them into the kitchen sink and took both of the boy’s hands into his.

“That’s boring. I can do that later,” Harry said and looked deep into Louis’ eyes before he leaned in for a kiss.

This time it was different, clearly different. The first tiny kisses started to get more intense after a while. Harry cupped Louis’ face into his hands as Louis buried his hands into Harry’s curls and held them tight. The movement of their lips and tongues got quicker and rougher as they were tripping into the living room. A moan escaped Harry’s mouth as Louis was tugging his hair. Harry’s hot breath felt warm around his mouth and Louis just couldn’t resist placing a few kisses all over Harry’s face, down to the soft skin of his neck. When Louis stopped, Harry looked deep into the boy’s eyes. Harry was out of breath when he crashed his mouth onto the boy’s again and deepened the kiss quickly. They stumbled through the room until they fell onto the sofa.

Harry pinned Louis down again and let his eyes explore his face. “You are so beautiful, Louis.” he said quietly while let his thumb run along Louis’ lips. Then he placed a soft kiss onto Louis’ eyelids, kissed his temple and let his hot breath out against Louis ear what made Louis shiver. This feeling was enough for Louis to get aroused and excited at once. He remembered how it felt when Harry touched him a few days ago and he wanted to feel that again. Only the thought of it let the feeling in his stomach get intense and he felt that his bulge grew while Louis squirmed under Harry’s touch. Harry’s breath sent shiver down the boy’s spine all the time and made him feel incredibly hot. The boy turned his head a little to allow Harry a better access to his ear and neck. Louis’ grip on Harry’s hair got stronger as he pulled him closer.

“You can’t wait, can you? I know you like this,” Harry breathed against Louis’ ear and licked slowly over it again.

Louis immediately got goose-pimples all over his body. When Harry started nibbling there, Louis let out a quiet moan. He felt Harry’s smooth lips kissing and sucking the skin below his ear and his neck while Harry took Louis hand and interlocked his fingers with Louis’. He stopped for a while and sat onto Louis’ thighs. His face was red, his curls were messy and his smirk was heavenly. As he bit his lip, Louis got up and pulled Harry closer again. He let his tongue circle his mouth first until their tongues brushed against each other. Kissing Harry was wonderful and Louis thought he might explode when Harry started touching Louis’ nipples through the fabric of his shirt. Harry’s touch made his bulge grow and the feeling in the pit of his stomach increased quickly.

Everything felt so right with Harry, everything. Louis had never really liked sexual actions so far but with Harry it was different. The boy touched Harry’s face gently and run his hands through Harry’s hair again. He caressed his back with his hands as Harry slid his right hand under Louis’ shirt and started to push it up. Louis got off the sofa and Harry just pulled it over Louis’ head and threw it onto the floor quickly.

Harry gave Louis an intense look before he gave him a teasing kiss and let his tongue run over Louis’ neck until he reached his nipples. He gave them a slight pinch at first before he lowered his head down and started licking and sucking slowly. Louis’ body responded automatically. The feeling got even more intense when Harry also touched his other nipple with his fingertips. Harry circled both of Louis’ nipples with his tongue, bit them carefully and kissed his way down until he got to the waistband of Louis’ sweatpants. Louis could literally feel his penis twitching and he couldn’t resist the feeling, so he pushed up his hips to get more friction.

“I love how your body reacts to me,” Harry smirked at Louis and winked at him.

He kissed Louis’ body but didn’t touch his nipples this time. After some French kissing, Harry moved down to Louis’ crotch again. He looked deep into Louis’s eyes as he laid his right hand onto Louis’ throbbing length and gave him a few light strokes through the fabric. Louis felt how wet he was already what made him shift uncomfortably.

He grabbed Harry’s arm. “I think I’m close again,” Louis whimpered and flushed.

Harry stopped touching the boy and came closer to his face again. “Try not to come yet, okay?” he whispered into Louis’ ear and gave it a short but intense lick what caused Louis to moan. Louis nodded sheepishly.

Jesus, this feeling was intense. Why was it going so fast? Louis didn’t want this to end too soon. He loved the tension he felt in his crotch and he loved Harry’s perfect touches that made him feel so needy. The boy stared at Harry as he finally took off his shirt too. His body was so beautiful, his muscles defined and the tattoos just looked sexy. Harry pushed his hair back again and gave Louis an intense look as he was circling his nipples with his hands again. Then he lowered his head again and teased Louis with his tongue. Louis loved it. Harry sucked and nibbled at the boy’s hard nipples until Louis whimpered and begged Harry to touch his bulge again. Harry just grinned at the boy but started to run his fingers down Louis’ torso. The expectation alone was enough to let Louis’ penis twitch from the arousal. The feeling in his crotch grew immensely when Harry ran his hand over Louis’ bulge slowly, barely touching it. Harry suddenly stopped his actions and sat down onto Louis thighs.

“Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want me to do,” Harry said quietly and caressed Louis cheek. Louis tried to move a little bit to ease the tension in his crotch but Harry just smirked at him and shook his head. “I won’t touch you again if you don’t tell me,” he said seriously. Harry’s gaze was intense and made Louis squirm again. He felt his penis throbbing and more pre-come wetted his boxers. Fuck this look. Fuck his voice and fuck this man. Louis was putty in his hands and he bit his lip nervously. “Don’t be ashamed, just tell me.” Harry encouraged the younger boy.

Louis pressed his lips together. “Can you . . . just . . . like . . .” He couldn’t finish his sentence because Harry leaned down to give him a rough kiss what caused Louis’ penis twitch against Harry’s thigh. Harry giggled.

“You’re pretty wet, Lou,” he remarked with a smirk. “Again, tell me what you want me to do.”

“Please just touch me . . . down . . . there . . .” Louis gasped but Harry wouldn’t let him finish his sentence again. He gave Louis another rough kiss again, tugged down the boy’s boxers and exposed his throbbing length.

“As you wish, baby,” Harry cooed and touched his wet tip gently. So you want me to touch your nice, wet dick, is that what you want me to do?” Harry purred and let his hand slowly slide along Louis’ shaft.

The feeling was sensational as Louis grabbed Harry’s hair to hold on to. Louis just couldn’t stay still. He pushed up his hips to get more friction what made Harry tightening his grip as he started to give Louis’ penis faster strokes.

“Does that feel good?” he asked while he slowed down his movements to kiss Louis intensely.

Louis just let out a few moans into Harry’s mouth while the man pumped him in a good, steady rhythm. When Harry started to move his thumb over Louis’ tip in addition, a quiet whimper escaped the boy’s mouth. Louis had no idea what he was doing. He was just reacting to the most intense feeling he had ever experienced so far.

“Harry, I . . . oh my god!“ Louis panted in a low voice, his eyes closed.

Harry immediately stopped touching Louis and licked a trail along his torso until he reached his nipples again. Harry’s tongue circled them a few times, then he kissed Louis’ neck and sucked his sensitive skin.

“You’re so incredibly wet down there baby,” Harry breathed into Louis’ ear and turned his chin roughly before he planted a wet, sloppy kiss onto Louis’ mouth.

Louis desperately kissed him back while he was trying to touch himself because he almost couldn’t stand the tension that was building up too quick. Harry grabbed the boy’s wrist strongly and fixed it next to his head.

“Put your hand away,” he ordered in a rude tone.

Louis whimpered as Harry’s fingertips caressed his mouth slowly but didn’t touch him where he needed it the most. Harry made eye contact with Louis as he was still holding his right wrist. He looked into Louis’ eyes, then he let his hand run down the boy’s face and neck until he reached Louis’ hard nipples again just to give them a few slight pinches while Louis buckled up his hips and groaned in frustration.

“Be patient, baby,” Harry breathed and kissed Louis slowly. Then he gave the boy three quick strokes and let go again. Louis moaned. Harry lowered his face and breathed against Louis hard length. As Louis wanted to push up his hips, Harry laid his hands onto Louis’ tummy to keep him in place.

“Don’t, Lou,” he said, gave Louis’ penis a quick lick and wrapped his mouth over Louis’ wet tip for a second before he pulled back. “Be a good boy.”

“Harry!” Louis moaned and gripped Harry’s right arm.

“Yeah baby? Shall I stop?”

“No, no, no! Please stop teasing me, I need you to touch me, please Harry, please!” Louis said needily, pushing his hips up as far as he could.

Harry smirked and kissed Louis again before he wrapped his right hand around Louis’ erection again. He touched the tip gently before he started to give him a few gentle strokes in combination with a few quick licks. His touch made Louis shiver. He felt the feeling getting stronger and hotter and his breathing increased rapidly. Louis couldn’t really control what he was doing, he just responded to the pleasure Harry gave him. Harry didn’t stop stroking Louis’ length this time. He tightened his grip and then he started to pump Louis faster and faster within seconds.

Louis’ couldn’t control his breathing or movements anymore. He pushed his hips up and his breathing got louder and heavier since Harry’s strokes were nearly bringing him over the edge. Louis tightened the grip around Harry’s arm. He could feel he was incredible close as he started moaning and whimpering quietly while he clenched a pillow next to him. He wouldn’t last longer, there was no way. Louis pushed up his hips desperately again to get more friction but this time Harry didn’t pull away. He gave Louis some more intensive strokes before he came. Louis had the feeling that he was nearly exploding from the inside when he came. His body twitched uncontrolled as he released onto Harry’s hands and his sweaty body. Louis was squirming and whimpering under Harry’s touch as the man was gently stroking Louis’ length very gently, guiding him through his heavy orgasm.

When Louis got down from his high, he put his right hand onto his tummy. He was still breathing heavily and he felt incredibly exhausted. “Oh my god . . . “, he said quietly while his heart was hammering in his chest, “that was . . . that was . . . overwhelming.”

Harry smiled at Louis and placed a soft kiss on his temple. “I want to make you feel good, because you deserve it.”

After Louis had cleaned himself and put his clothes back on, he laid down on the sofa with Harry again. Harry wrapped his arms around the boy and nuzzled closer into his neck. This time it was Louis who kissed Harry’s temple gently. Harry smiled against Louis’ neck and interlocked his fingers with Louis’.

“I want to tell you something,” Louis said quietly.

Harry gently nibbled at the soft skin on Louis’ neck and kissed it softly. “Go on,” he said and kissed the spot again.

Louis sighted. “You do all these things to me and . . . I haven’t even . . . I mean . . . I feel bad because I haven’t tried to . . . do the same to you,“ Louis mumbled.

Harry got up and took both of Louis’ hands in his. “Listen. Don’t feel bad about it okay? Not a single second. I’d love to experience that with you but you should take your time and only do things like that when you’re ready.” Harry gave Louis a sweet smile. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Whenever you want to do these things to me, you’re welcome.”

Louis gave Harry a soft kiss onto his cheek. “Thanks for everything,” Louis said before he snuggled close to Harry again. Spending time with him felt so good and Louis almost forgot about his problems at home.

Louis left Harry’s apartment in the afternoon to make sure he was home before his mum returned from work.

 

 


	60. Rejection

Louis was sitting in the living room with his little sisters when his mum returned from work. When she entered the room it was written all over her face that she wasn’t in a good mood. She didn’t even say hello but she started yelling at Louis immediately.

“I’m still not over the fact that you went away although I didn’t allow it! You stayed away the whole night without saying anything? Where have you been?”

She was so enraged that her face turned red. Jay pulled her son into the kitchen and slammed the door with a loud bang. “Okay Louis, tell me where you were!” she said sharply and put her hands on her hips. Her facial expression changed from almost none to furious within seconds.

“It’s none of your business,” Louis said quietly as he turned his head toward the window, biting his lip.

“Oh it’s not?” his mum yelled and came closer. “Louis, don’t mess with me. Where have you been?” Jay’s voice was so loud and she nearly stressed every single word.

“I don’t want to tell you where I was!” Louis yelled back at her.

She raised her hand again so quickly that Louis couldn’t turn away. His cheek was burning like fire after she slapped the boy for the second time. “I’m fed up with you and your lies!” Jay grabbed Louis’ arm violently and pushed him down onto the bench.

Who was that person in front of him? He didn’t know what to think of her while Louis held his burning cheek with one hand because it hurt even more this time. His mum glared at him.

“Where have you been?” Jay repeated and stressed every single word. “You will not leave that room before you’ve answered my question!”

Louis was close to tears. “I was at a friend’s house! As you remember you slapped me and I felt sad, that’s why!” Louis started to cry. This situation seemed hopeless.

“Is it Harry?” she yelled at her son. “Is this friend Harry?”

Louis didn’t answer. “Okay Louis, if you still don’t want to talk you should know that I’ll keep your phone and all your other devices until you tell me the truth. You will definitely stay at home this week, as I said,” she remarked harshly. “And I won’t give you any pocket money anymore.”

Louis was upset. “But mum, that’s unfair! Why are you doing this to me?”

Jay turned around and stopped her face inches away from Louis’. “You know why. And now leave Louis, just leave and get out of my sight!” she hissed sharply.

This situation was too much to handle for Louis. The relationship with his mum was stuck, Louis missed Harry and he still had no information about his dad. He had tried to call him with Eleanor’s phone but he didn’t answer, no matter when or how often he tried and he gave up finally. Louis tried to accept the fact that he’d never see him again.

 

On Friday afternoon Louis went to detention with Nathan. He hadn’t turned in his presentation in time for the history class so the teacher sent his friend to detention too.

“Do you know who will be there?” Louis asked his friend. He secretly hoped it would be Harry.

“Hey Tomlinson, does it matter who it is? It’s fucking detention.” Nathan was pissed and didn’t talk much to Louis.

Of course the teacher wasn’t Harry what made detention even more awful. They had so much extra work to do that Louis got even more depressed.

After about one hour the boys heard a big noise coming from the hallway. Some rude and harsh arguments were being exchanged outside, probably some boys or men who were angry but there was another voice that sounded quite familiar. The teacher opened the door immediately when he noticed the sounds and stuck out his head to see what was going on. He went out of the room, talked to the guys and came back after a few minutes. He was in a hurry as he was putting his folder and books back into his bag. Then he went out of the room again.

“Harry, could you stand in for me so I can look after the boys?” he yelled as he was walking away.

Nathan looked over to Louis. “Harry?” he mouthed frowning but Louis didn’t answer.

Harry. Harry would be there in a few seconds. Louis felt his cheeks getting hot immediately. The boy started to play with his pencil to compensate his nervousness. A few seconds later, Harry walked into the room and greeted the boys. Suddenly, Louis’ pencil fell of his hands and Harry picked it up for him. This was embarrassing.

When detention was over, Nathan gave Louis a strange look and the boy could tell he had noticed something.

“Hey Louis, what’s wrong?” he asked and sat down on the desk in front of Louis who continued packing without saying anything.

“I don’t know if you will be pissed at me but . . . I’ve noticed you’re always acting weird when he’s around,” Nathan said and pointed towards the door. “Why is Mr. Styles making you nervous? Did he do something to you or something?”

Louis didn’t look up. He felt uncomfortable about Nathan’s questions.

“It’s nothing,” Louis mumbled, zipping up his bag up.

When they were about to leave the building, Louis suddenly stopped walking.

“Oh shit!”

“What happened?”

“I still have some work to do for my biology presentation and I forgot the stuff in the classroom!” It was a lie. “Don’t wait for me. I’ll stay at the library for one more hour because it’s better than working at home.”

Luckily Nathan didn’t question Louis’ words and walked away on his own.

Louis hadn’t planned this but when he saw Harry, he realized how much he was missing him. He walked up the stairs and knocked on Harry’s office door. He knew his mum would be beyond angry if he came home later than expected but she was angry anyways so Louis didn’t care.

When Louis stepped in, Harry got up from his desk and walked toward the boy. He didn’t say anything but pulled Louis into a hug and kissed him. Then Harry led Louis to the sofa where Louis nuzzled close to him immediately. This feeling was so familiar, so good. It felt like coming home.

“You were nervous, weren’t you?” Harry remarked and placed a kiss on Louis’ forehead.

“I was,” Louis admitted. “I’m always nervous when I see you.”

“You’re cute,” Harry said and wrapped his arms tighter around Louis.

The boy sighted. “At least you think I’m cute.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“My mum,” Louis answered with a sigh. “She’s nothing but mean to me since she found the note and that I lied to her. She kept asking me where I spent the night but I didn’t tell her so she said that she won’t give me pocket money anymore until I tell her the truth. She collected all my electronic devices and the worst was that she . . . she, you know, she hit me again. She totally turned into another person! Her look is full of hate and disgust, I can’t . . . I can’t take it anymore! This whole situation is making me sick.” Louis’ voice trembled.

He got up from Harry’s chest to sit down next to him. “I’m only allowed to go to school, nothing else.”

Louis couldn’t talk properly because his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. He tried to hold back the tears but couldn’t. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go home again. I don’t know what to tell my mum how I really feel and I can’t tell her about you,“ the boy cried and wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his jumper.

Harry got up and walked over to the window. “I’m sorry, Louis,” he said seriously. “Maybe we should stop that whole thing as it’s only causing more and more difficulties.”

What? No, Harry couldn’t be serious. Louis just stared at him, not able to process his words. Harry leaned against the window-sill, his face turned toward Louis.

“Why are you saying that?” Louis asked with a teary voice. “No, Harry! Please, tell me that you don’t mean that!”

Everything seemed blurry as he reached out for Harry’s hand but he didn’t react. He just stared at the floor without showing any emotion.

“I think it will be better for you . . . us,” Harry said and made a gesture. He turned away from Louis and looked out of the window. “I think you should go home now.”

Louis was shocked about how cold Harry’s voice was. He didn’t mean it, did he?

“Please, Harry, say you don’t mean it!” Louis pleaded. “Please!”

He couldn’t stop crying, he just couldn’t. This rejection hurt more than anything and the corners of his eyes were already sore from wiping them constantly.

Harry walked over to his desk. “You should leave now,” Harry said emotionless and turned his head to the computer.

Louis just stood there, covered in tears. The pain was unbearable while he took his rucksack off the floor and walked towards the door. Before he left, Louis turned around again.

“Please Harry, don’t leave me that way,” he sobbed but Harry didn’t react. He meant it, he really did. “Harry?” Louis whispered again but he didn’t answer so Louis walked out of the office.

As he was about to turn towards the staircase, he heard someone calling him. Louis turned around and saw Nathan sitting on one of the green armchairs near Harry’s office. It was too late to run away or try to deny he had been crying because Louis knew looked like a mess. He suddenly got a fright. What if Nathan had heard parts of the conversation? What if he knew? Hot and cold waves rushed through Louis’ body while he stared at his friend.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked him quietly.

“I forgot to hand in my essay today. I didn’t want to get extra work so I walked back and heard your voice inside of Mr. Styles’ office so I thought I could wait for you,” Nathan answered. “I’ll just hand it in and then we can walk home together,” he proposed and walked towards the office.

Louis didn’t know what to do. When his friend came back, his heart was hammering in his chest and he was afraid that Nathan could know something.

“I’m worrying about you. Has Mr. Styles hurt you?” Nathan asked but Louis remained quiet. “Louis please, I’m your friend, talk to me!”

Louis wasn’t able to talk because he burst into tears. “Mr. Styles hasn’t hurt me,” Louis sobbed. “Not at all, I swear.”

Louis felt so vulnerable and exposed at this point that he didn’t want to talk. Nathan accepted the silence as they walked home without saying a word.

 

 

 


	61. Outing

When Louis came home he went into his room immediately. He didn’t want to meet his family at all. Later in the evening, Fizzy wanted to talk to her brother. She sat down next to him and gave Louis a tight hug.

“Did mum tell you anything about me?” Louis asked.

“She didn’t say much. She told me that you disappointed her and she was angry and . . .” Fizzy stopped talking and bowed her head.

“What else did she say? Please Fizzy, please tell me!” Louis begged. “It’s hard enough that she decided not to talk to me anymore but please don’t do the same to me, please don’t.”

“She . . . mum said that she was ashamed you were . . . her son,” Fizzy said barely audible. “She didn’t want to tell me why.”

Fizzy looked at her brother with a sad face. “What could you have done to her that she would say such hateful things about you?”

Louis struggled if he should tell her the truth or not but as he remembered, Fizzy was the only one who was on his side when Lottie and his mum were talking about how disgusting homosexuality was. He wasn’t sure if he should mention Harry but at least he could tell her the main reason for their mum’s behavior.

“There’s something you should know about me,” Louis said seriously. “And maybe our sisters should know too. I’m afraid of telling them but I think there’s no other way in this situation, I mean, in my situation.”

Fizzy looked at her brother in confusion. Louis touched her shoulder slightly. “Could you get the others in here too?”

Louis felt it was the right time to tell his sisters – if there was something like a right moment for such a difficult confession. He couldn’t hide his sexuality forever and the situation with his mum wouldn’t get easier. Despite that, his sisters had already noticed something was wrong with him. Hiding would probably make it even more complicated. Jay’s behavior towards Louis had changed dramatically during the last days so it was just a matter of time she could keep the reason a secret. It was beyond words how uncomfortable and insecure Louis felt in that moment.

Louis’ hands were sweaty, his mouth almost dry and he felt a lump building in his throat when his sisters entered the room. Phoebe wrapped her hands around Louis’ waist and leaned her head onto his chest. Louis pulled her close, cleared his throat and tried to find the right words.

“I’m sure you have noticed that mum’s behavior towards me has changed and I’m sure you would like to know why.” Louis looked into his sister’s faces. “I have never thought that . . . well, that our mum could be that rude and aggressive.” He paused while he tried to hold back his tears. “She scared me a lot.” Louis bowed his head.

“She hurt him!” Phoebe said outraged. “Mum slapped him into his face!” she yelled as a little tear run down her cheek too.

She climbed onto her brother’s lap, wrapped her arms around his torso and hid her face in the crook of his neck.

“Is this true?” Lottie asked.

“It’s true,” Louis said quietly. “I’ve never seen her like that.”

“But why did she hurt you?” Fizzy asked further.

“This is what I’m asking myself too,” Lottie added.

Louis was close to tears. He bit his lip and wrapped his arms tighter around his twin sister. “If I tell you the truth I’m sure you’ll hate me,” Louis said with his trembling voice.

“We won’t,” Lottie answered. “We’re your sisters, we love you.”

“I’m not sure Lottie,” Louis said and let out a sigh. “Maybe you remember the breakfast a few weeks ago. You . . . you said something very cruel that hurt me,” Louis tried to explain but Lottie couldn’t remember what her brother was talking about. “I’ve struggled a lot during the past few months. I wasn’t sure about my feelings. I didn’t know if I should tell you or not because I was afraid of your reaction. And if you want to know, I’m still afraid to be honest.”

It was quiet in the room when Louis continued to talk. “It’s just a matter of time until you find out through others so . . . I want to tell you that I’m . . . that I’m . . . gay,” he stammered quietly. The words burned like fire in his throat and he could feel how he got even more nervous about this whole conversation.

“This is just one of your silly jokes, isn’t it?” Lottie said harshly.

Louis shook his head. “No, it’s not a silly joke. It’s the truth and it’s the reason why mum has been treating me like shit.”

Louis’ voice trembled again and tears were streaming down his face, uncontrolled. Lottie got up without saying a word and left the room. It hurt Louis so much because he knew she wouldn’t understand, he just knew. Fizzy moved closer to her brother and wrapped her arms around him in silence.

“I knew she would hate me,” Louis cried. His whole body shivered. “Please don’t leave me too, Fizzy, please don’t.”

Fizzy caressed Louis’ back slowly. “I won’t go away Louis, don’t worry.”

“That’s exactly the reason why I didn’t want to tell anybody.” Louis wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper again. He took a deep breath when Daisy moved closer and sat down next to him.

“What does gay mean?” she asked.

Louis looked at her through his teary eyes. “It means . . . well, you know Chris, don’t you?” The girl nodded. “If Chris was gay he wouldn’t have a girlfriend. He would have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, okay,” she replied quickly, hugged Louis and kissed his cheek. “Can I go into my room now? Phoebe and I were playing with the dolls.”

“Just go darling. It’s fine,” Louis answered and gave her a kiss.

When the girls had left, Fizzy was still in the room with Louis. “Please say something,” Louis begged.

“It’s a little shock for me because I had no idea,” Fizzy said. “But honestly, I don’t mind if you like girls or boys because I think it’s your life. You have to choose what’s good for you.” She hugged Louis and gave him a kiss.

“I knew Lottie would . . .” Louis said but Fizzy interrupted him immediately.

“She’ll get over it, just give her some time.”

Louis shook his head. “I don’t think so. You heard her a few weeks ago.”

“I hope she’ll change her mind soon. I know she loves you and that won’t change because you like boys. I don’t believe that,” Fizzy tried to reassure her brother. “But . . . I mean . . . you had girlfriends before, hadn’t you?” She gave him a questioning look. “Are you sure that you’re gay . . . I mean . . . how can you be sure?”

It wasn’t easy for Louis to be confronted with all these questions. At least, Fizzy understood and she seemed to be interested in him.

“I had girlfriends because I thought I had to, every boy has girlfriends.” Louis sighted. “I thought it was normal. But it didn’t feel right, it wasn’t fulfilling at all and I always had the feeling that something was missing.” Louis bit his lip and shook his shoulders. “I can’t explain properly.”

“I thought you were popular among girls . . .”

“I don’t know about that,” Louis replied.

Fizzy laughed. “Are you kidding me?” she smiled and pushed Louis’ shoulders playfully. “I’m constantly meeting girls who are fond of you. Even some of my friends are crazy about you and I know a lot of girls who think you’re cute although I can’t understand what makes them think that,” she said amused. “They love your scruffy hair and your cute little . . . “

Louis gave her a nudge in the ribs what made her chuckle. “Stop that, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay, okay. So tell me, are you really sure that . . . you . . . like boys?” she asked him again.

“Do you think it’s a joke? It’s not a game!” Louis raised his voice because it was so exhausting to say and admit it all over again. “That’s exactly the reason why mum is furious. I don’t want to be with a girl Fizzy, I tried it a few times but . . . it just doesn’t feel right.”

His sister nodded. “Phoebe mentioned your new friend Harry during breakfast. Is Harry your boyfriend?” Fizzy asked but Louis interrupted her immediately.

He held up his hand. “Just stop. I don’t want to talk about this topic anymore.” Louis laid down on his bed and turned his face away from his sister.

“It’s okay Louis,” she said while she touched his arm gently. “You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t like. I’m sorry that mum hurt you and I’m sorry for Lottie’s behavior. It’s not fair,” Fizzy said quietly. “I love you.” She leaned over Louis and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I love you too,” Louis said sadly without moving.

When Fizzy went out of the room, a lot of thoughts ran through Louis’ mind. Fizzy seemed to be okay with his confession, the twins were but Lottie wasn’t, let alone his mum. They both made him feel guilty and weak. What should he do? Louis was desperate, unsure about everything. The worst thing was that he couldn’t even message Harry, much less see him. He buried his head into the pillow next to him and cried until it got soaked with tears.

 

The atmosphere was strange and strained at dinner. Jay and Lottie didn’t talk much, especially not to Louis. Everybody was quiet and there was an uncomfortable tension in the room. The only thing Jay informed everyone about was the move that was planned for the next weekend.

 

The following week was torture for Louis. It wasn’t terrible only because of the pocket money or the missing electronic devices. The most devastating thing was that Louis’ mum and Lottie ignored him on purpose. They didn’t talk to him at all. Jay gave Louis blank looks whenever they saw each other but that was it. The whole situation made Louis sad. He felt unwanted and somewhat dirty. He had always thought his family was the best, loving and caring family in the world but obviously he had been wrong all the time.

 

 


	62. What a mess

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Eleanor asked Louis as they were walking to school the next day. “I called you at least a hundred times yesterday!”

Louis shook his head. “I had trouble with my mum and she took my phone away, sorry.”

“Why?”

“She found out that I’m into boys and now she literally hates me and Lottie does too.”

Eleanor put her arm around Louis’ waist. “What? No, they can’t be serious! Why?

“Because they want it that way, I don’t know. Go and ask them if you don’t believe it,” Louis snapped. “It’s not just that they can’t handle it. They avoid me whenever it’s possible, they look at me as if I was shit and they don’t talk to me anymore.”

School was difficult for Louis because he couldn’t concentrate. His thoughts only circled about his mum, Lottie and of course, Harry. Louis wanted to believe that their hate and disgust towards him would only be a matter of time but it obviously wasn’t. The only ones who were nice to Louis were Carol, Fizzy and the twins. English lessons were torture for Louis because he had to see Harry all the time who wouldn’t smile at him anymore and Louis had the impression that he was avoiding him just like his mum and sister. It broke his heart.

 

“I have news for you,” Harry explained to the class one day. “Mrs. Holloway won’t be back soon so I’ll stay your teacher for another uncertain period of time.”

Harry’s eyes sparkled as he was looking around the class. Louis wasn’t sure if he should be happy about this or not. They hadn’t spoken in weeks. Every time he saw his teacher, he felt a painful sting in his heart. Louis couldn’t stand the pain anymore, it was too much. He couldn’t stand listening to his wonderful, raspy voice. He couldn’t stand watching Harry walking around the classroom. He couldn’t stand his beautiful hair and his fancy clothing. When the pain got too strong, Louis went to the toilet where he sat down on a seat and buried his hands into his hair. He spent the rest of the lesson there and went back to the classroom when the lesson had nearly finished.

During the break, a few girls went over to Harry’s desk. Louis couldn’t ignore the queasy feeling in his stomach when he looked at them. It hurt him so much to see Harry interacting with other people, especially girls. He gave them the same smile he gave Louis when they baked muffins, the same smile when they were cuddling, the same smile when they were joking around. Louis was jealous and heartbroken about his whole situation. He just couldn’t watch them anymore so he put his arms onto the desk, put his head down and closed the eyes.

“Louis?”

Louis lifted his head and looked at Harry. He didn’t smile, at all. “Could you come to my office in about ten minutes? I forgot to bring your essay.”

What essay? Louis didn’t even remember that he had handed another one in. He just nodded without saying a word and put his head down again. On one hand he was happy that he could see Harry again in private again, on the other hand he was scared of what he would tell him. The boy was sure he couldn’t handle more negative news.

 

“Please take a seat,” Harry said and pointed towards the sofa. He sat down on a chair across the boy. “You look sad, Louis,” he remarked. “I’m worrying about you.”

Louis couldn’t look Harry in the eyes. “You know why,” he snapped.

The wind blew strongly outside and the branches of the trees almost touched the windows.

“Louis . . . I don’t want you to be in trouble because of me, that’s all,” Harry said and pushed his hair back.

Louis looked down on the floor to avoid Harry’s gaze.

“It’s not easy for me either, you have to believe me.” His teacher’s voice was calm, too calm. As if he wouldn’t mind.

Louis shook his head. “I’d be in trouble either way, with or without you.” He was close to tears.

“I don’t think so. You have to understand, Louis.”

“But I miss you.”

A few tears were running down Louis face. He couldn’t hold them back at all. He had never been easily weeping without apparent provocation but since the move, everything had changed. It hurt him too much to be near Harry without being able to feel his warmth. Harry’s tone and words hurt him so much, it was awful.

“Please don’t make it more difficult than it is. We can’t continue this.” Harry made a gesture between them. Then he went over to his desk. “See you in class, Louis.”

Louis couldn’t believe it. Was he serious? For the second time Harry had been so cold toward him and it hurt Louis even more. The boy’s heart was hammering in his chest when Harry called him again but it was only because he wanted to give him the essay back.

“I don’t need this, Keep it for yourself to tear it to pieces just like you’re doing it with my heart all the time,” he said with tears in his eyes and left the room. He had never been so sad and disappointed in his life. This was hell.

 

At home Louis refused to have dinner with the family and stayed up in his room. After a while he noticed voices coming from downstairs. He opened the door a little and listened. Obviously Fizzy was arguing with his mum.

“Mum that’s unfair! He’s your son, he’s our brother. Can’t you see that you’ve hurt him?”

“Fizzy, there’s nothing more to say. I have my own principles you might not understand,” Jay yelled.

“Exactly, I don’t understand that mess! Louis is such a lovely person! Just look at him! He’s a great guy, caring, funny and you’re doing that to him? Can’t you see how much he’s suffering?!”

“He’s gay what means he’s a damn faggot, Fizzy! A shame for the whole family! I can’t tolerate that at all!”

His sister nearly cried. “Are you serious? Just because of his sexuality you’re treating him like a leper who doesn’t deserve anything? Louis is suffering because of you and Lottie refuses to accept him the way he is too!” Her voice sounded desperate. “That’s unfair!”

“You’re a teenager! What do you know about these things? I have never asked for Louis to become gay and I’ll never accept it, no matter what!”

“I might be a teenager but at least I have a heart and I don’t judge people over their sexuality. You are calling your own son a faggot? What is wrong with you?” Fizzy slammed her fists against something because Louis could hear a dull sound. “You’re his mother!”

“Don’t you dare talking with me like this or . . .” His mum’s voice was so loud.

“Or what? Will you slap me too, just like you did with Louis?” Fizzy yelled. “Go on, slap me! I don’t care!”

There was a pause and Louis held his breath. How would his mum react?

“I might change my mind if he changes his.”

“You’re joking, aren’t you?”

“I’m not joking at all.”

“And Lottie what’s wrong with you? I can’t understand you both, I’m . . . I’m . . . I have no words left to say . . . have fun here in your homophobic bubble, I’m leaving this table,” Fizzy yelled and left the room obviously.

“Being gay is abnormal and disgusting!” Lottie yelled after her.

“Shut up!” Fizzy fired back angrily.

Louis could hear her steps as she was climbing up the stairs to his room. He opened the door for his sister.

“I’ve tried my best but . . . they are so stubborn. Both of them.” she said, her voice thick with tears. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered and hugged Louis. “I wasn’t aware of the fact how homophobic mum and Lottie really are.”

“And what are we supposed to do now?” Louis asked.

They sat there for minutes until Fizzy came up with an idea. “I don’t know if it’s the best solution but at least it would unwind the whole situation a little bit,” she said and smiled at Louis. What would her plan be?

 

 


	63. The plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fizzy comes up with an idea to help Louis.

Fizzy sat down on Louis’ bed and crossed her legs. “What would happen if you pretended to have a girlfriend?”

“What?”

“Well, mum said she could change her opinion if you would change yours. I know it’s silly but what if we could find a girl who would pretend to be your girlfriend? Mum would think this gay thing was just a phase or a bad joke.”

Louis frowned.

“I know, it won’t solve the main problem but maybe it will help a little. Maybe they just need time to process everything and you could try to tell them again after a few months or so. But for the moment it would be fine because they’d hopefully treat you like a person again.”

Louis thought his sister’s idea was crazy but it could work. “And who should I ask?”

Fizzy took out her phone and scrolled through her friends. “What about Sue . . . I know she has a little crush on you since we moved here?”

Louis interrupted her immediately. “Oh no, no, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. If she told you she had a crush on me she might think I have changed my mind. Plus, I don’t want to hurt anybody with this.”

Fizzy shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t see a problem here. Maybe she’ll help us, wouldn’t that be nice?”

“I don’t like that.”

“Come on! Let’s have a try at least! I’ll call her right now.” Fizzy said and started to deal her number.

Louis grabbed her arm. “Wait.”

Fizzy put her phone down. “I have another idea. Could you tell Lauren, Nathan, Taylor and Eleanor to come here? Mum wouldn’t let me invite them so maybe you could do it for me? They should all know about the plan and maybe one of the girls would like to be my fake girlfriend?”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I want them to know, they’re my closest friends.”

“What about Chloe?”

“Of course, call her too. I haven’t told her yet but maybe the others already have, I don’t know.”

 

After about one hour, Louis’ friends were sitting in his room and Fizzy told them her idea. Of course they were a little bit shocked about Louis’ outing because the friends were clueless. Eleanor hadn’t told anyone about her friend’s secret so it took them some time to process Louis’ words. But after all, it wasn’t a problem at all.  When Louis told them his problems concerning his mum and sister, the friends really wanted to help him.

“I think the idea with the girlfriend isn’t bad but I’m not sure if I could do it,” Lauren said when they discussed about who could be Louis’ fake girlfriend. “I’m really bad at pretending things.”

“You don’t have to do it. El, would you give it a try? As you know, Mum likes you very much and besides, you and Louis have always been very close so it wouldn’t be that obvious, I think and since everyone has always assumed that you’re a thing . . .  you would probably be the best solution.”

“His mum would believe it was real, 100%,” Lauren remarked.

Eleanor nodded. “Sounds good to me. I mean, I could try it if you want to, of course.”

“But I’m still grounded for this week and we’ll move during the next days. When should mum notice that we’re together?” Louis asked.

“But she knows that we meet at school every day,” Eleanor said. “You could tell her at the end of this week or so.”

Fizzy nodded. “And you could help us with the move. Maybe mum will allow it because it’s work?”

It was worth a try.


	64. The plan works out

It turned out that Jay didn’t want any help with the move, so the plan to introduce Eleanor as Louis’ girlfriend had to wait apparently. The move wasn’t a big deal because the family didn’t have that many things to transfer to the new house. The house was partly furnished and already renovated.

One day after the move, Jay came into Louis’ new room and sat down on the edge of his bed.

“Louis honestly, I don’t believe you’re . . . gay,” she said and stressed the word awkwardly. “You’re a teenager. It could be just a phase you’re going through.”

Louis remained quiet.

“Here’s your phone. The other things are in the box outside of your room.”

Louis didn’t know what to say. On one hand, this conversation was the first normal one they had in weeks but on the other hand Louis couldn’t be very happy about it because his mum didn’t take him and his decisions seriously. Did his mum really think being gay was just a phase? Maybe her opinion could be helpful for the girlfriend project?

 

Louis started “dating” Eleanor right after the move. Eleanor spent more time than usual at Louis’ home which shouldn’t surprise Jay a lot but they thought it would help to be seen together. The next weekend, Eleanor came over again and the friends curled up on the sofa to watch a movie in the living room. Louis wasn’t sure if that would be enough to convince his family because they had already been very close and his mum and sisters were used to it. Eleanor’s head rested on Louis’ chest as he put one arm around her.

“Does that feel awkward for you?” Louis asked Eleanor.

“Not at all, I like it,” she answered and sighted. “I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable.”

Louis giggled. “Absolutely not.”

When Lottie came into the room, Louis gave Eleanor a small nudge. She took Louis’ hand into hers immediately, gave him a small kiss on the cheek and nuzzled closer to the boy. Lottie liked Eleanor very so she came closer to the girl and greeted her. This was perfect. Eleanor pulled away from Louis and hugged Lottie. Then she nuzzled closer to him again and took his hand into hers. Louis felt like the plan could work, because Lottie was frowning when she noticed.

 

“Do you think she bought it?” Eleanor asked Louis with a smile when Lottie was gone.

“I think your reaction was very helpful,” he answered and kissed her hair. “You’re a great actress. Maybe you should overthink your plans for studying.” Louis laughed and gave her a squeeze.

“No, I don’t think I want to act professionally,” she giggled.

Louis sighted. “I feel a little bad because I’m . . . you know, I’m kind of using you for my interests here,” Louis said quietly.

Eleanor gave him a nudge. “Don’t feel bad, it’s alright. I wouldn’t have agreed otherwise and I want to help you.”

“What do you think of spending the night here?”

“Do you think your mum will allow it?” Eleanor asked, got up from Louis’ chest and took her cup of hot tea from the table.

Louis leaned his head against the cushion of the sofa. “You know that my mum likes you very much and since I’m spending more time with you she started to be nicer to me too,” Louis sighted. “She’s in the kitchen, should we have a try? I don’t think that she’s against it.”

Eleanor nodded. “Maybe she’s got something to eat for us too?” she smiled and took Louis’ hand into hers. “I’m so hungry!”

They went into the kitchen where Louis’ mum was working. “We’re a little bit hungry,” Louis said, holding Eleanor’s hand.

Jay turned around and seemed a little surprised when she saw Eleanor and Louis together. “Of course, there’s some pizza left in the oven,” she offered. “Would you like some?” Her voice was nice, almost lovely. They nodded and she put two slices of pizza into the microwave to heat them. Then she turned around, leaned against the kitchen sink and started a conversation with Eleanor.

While they were eating, Louis took the opportunity to ask if Eleanor could stay overnight. His mum agreed immediately what didn’t surprised him at all because he knew how much she liked her. Jay looked out of the window.

“The weather is getting worse and I think it’s better to stay inside anyway.”

Louis hadn’t noticed but it was true. The wind blew stronger from minute to minute and heavy raindrops started falling from the sky. The sound they made when they felt against the window was lovely and it reminded him of his first stay at Harry’s office. Ugh. Harry. He tried to ignore his thoughts quickly. Eleanor called her mum and went out of the kitchen. Jay took the opportunity. She sat down next to Louis, folded her hands and rested them on the table.

“She’s so lovely,” his mum said.

Louis gave her a weak smile.

“May I ask you if you are together?”

Louis flushed and nodded shyly with his lips pressed together.

“Why haven’t you told me earlier?” she said relieved and put her hand onto Louis’ arm.

“I just didn’t want to make such a big deal out of it, to be honest,” he answered. “I thought you would find out on your own.”

Jay smiled happily and rubbed Louis’ back. “I’m glad that you chose her. She’s so nice and to be honest . . . I’ve always hoped for you two to become a couple.”

Louis bit his lip again.

“I want you to know that she can come over whenever she wants and you don’t have to ask me about her staying overnight because she can stay how often you two like to.”

 

The next morning the whole family and Eleanor had a nice breakfast and for the first time within weeks the atmosphere was positive at home. It seemed like his mum and Lottie were happy about the news, only Louis wasn’t. He had to admit the plan worked out pretty good and even quicker than he would have expected but still. He just couldn’t understand why his mum’s and Lottie’s behavior towards him had changed just because they thought he was in a relationship with Eleanor. But that was part of the plan, wasn’t it?

When Louis laid in bed at night, he thought of Harry. He missed him so much and it hurt even more when Louis remembered his words.

_“Please don’t make it more difficult than it is. We can’t continue this.”_

Louis sighted and pulled out the little note. He read it over and over again until he fell asleep.

_“I feel the same, Harry.”_

 

 

 


	65. The accident

Louis woke up very early in the morning. Although he was still tired he couldn’t sleep anymore because his thoughts were haunting him. This whole situation was a mess: his fake relationship with Eleanor, his mum and Lottie’s response to the change, his dad who wouldn’t even try to get in touch with him and Harry. The mere thought of his teacher made Louis’ stomach flutter. He missed Harry so much that this feeling hurt his heart and soul.

Suddenly all he wanted was to get out of the house, get some fresh air and clear his mind. Louis took a quick shower, got dressed and pulled his bike out of the garage. It was still dark outside and the landscape was covered with a thin layer of frost. Louis’ enjoyed the wind and the fresh air that brushed against his face while he was cycling along the peaceful streets of Holmes Chapel.

When Louis was about to pass Harry’s house, a lot of questions came to his mind. What if he pushed the doorbell? Would Harry be happy about it? Would he even open the door? What if he really didn’t want to see him? But what if he missed him too? What if he didn’t? What would he say to Louis if they met? All Louis could think of was Harry, Harry and Harry again.

Louis was lost in thoughts seconds before he crashed into another bike. He wasn’t able to push the brakes in time so he just pulled the handlebars to the left, trying to avoid the crash but unluckily he lost balance on the slippery way. Louis’ front wheel touched the other bike what caused him to fall and hit the hard, frozen ground. It was too late, Louis couldn’t do anything about it and both bikes fell on Louis’ legs. The person’s weight wasn’t that terrible but of course it didn’t make the situation better. The pain was immense. Louis closed his eyes and tried to free himself from the weight on his own but it was not possible.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” a woman’s voice asked worried while tried to lift the bikes off Louis’ legs.

Everything seemed blurry during the first seconds so Louis didn’t answer. He was in shock.

“Wait, I will help you,” she said and walked over to Louis who wasn’t able to get up on his own.

“I think I hurt my leg!” he yelled and tried to touch it.

The woman reached out a hand to help him. When Louis took her hand, he realized it was Laura, Harry’s friend.

“Aren’t you  . . . aren’t you Harry’s friend?”

Louis forgot about the pain the second Laura mentioned Harry. He was surprised that Laura thought he was Harry’s friend.

“I’m not sure if I’m his friend . . .” the boy answered insecurely while Laura was pulling him up. She gave him a small smile.

“I know! You’re Louis,” Laura said. “Try to get off the ground, it’s so cold. Can you lean onto that tree? So I could have a look at your leg. Does it hurt a lot?”

Louis bit his lip and nodded.

“I’ll be gentle. Let me see it,” she said and pointed to the red stain on Louis’ jeans that was ripped.

It actually hurt when the fabric moved against the injuries. When Laura had rolled up the leg, there was a gaped wound visible and many small ones next to it. Louis’ calf was surrounded by bruises.

“We should go over to the apartment and clean the wounds,” Laura remarked.

She gave Louis a sight to wait and put the bikes behind a tree to lock them.

Louis felt uneasy. “I’m not sure if Harry . . . “

Laura gave Louis a serious look. “Louis, your wounds have to be cleaned. Look how dirty they are! I don’t care about what Harry thinks, you’re more important now.”

She walked over to Louis and put her hands around him to support his weight. Louis couldn’t walk normally so he had to limp along the way. “Harry seems to like you a lot, to be honest,” Laura said but Louis remained silent.

 

When they stepped into Harry’s apartment, Louis was very nervous about his reaction but luckily Harry wasn’t at home. Lauren guided Louis to the kitchen where the boy sat down on a chair. She went out of the room to look for the first-aid-box. While Lauren was still away looking for the kit, the front door was opened.

“Mummy, mummy!” Annie yelled and ran through the apartment.

Louis couldn’t see what was happening out there because the door was almost closed. His heart nearly stopped as he heard Harry’s voice.

“Laura?” Harry asked.

“I’m here!” she replied from another room.

Louis heard steps coming closer to the kitchen. “We went to the small playground and stayed there for almost two hours. You can’t imagine how hungry . . .” Harry said while he was opening the kitchen door. He immediately stopped talking and frowned when he saw Louis. “Louis! What . . . I mean, what are you . . . doing here?” he asked confused while he pushed his hair back.

Louis couldn’t quite tell if Harry was happy or angry or both, so he bowed his head. Just in that moment, Laura stepped into the kitchen too.

“We had a little accident so I brought him here to clean his wounds,” she explained and pushed Harry aside gently.

Louis didn’t dare to look Harry in the eyes so he watched Laura instead. She put the first-aid-box on the table, opened it and kneeled down in front of the boy. Then she gently pulled Louis’ trouser leg up again. When she was about to wet a soft cloth with water, her mobile rang. Laura answered the call while Harry took food out of the fridge.

“Sorry guys, I have to leave. My mum’s waiting for us and I’m already late.” Laura said to Harry and Louis after she hung up. “Could you just finish this for me?” she asked and handed Harry the wet cloth. Harry nodded.

“Louis, I’ll get the bikes later and put yours behind the garage so you can take it with you whenever you want, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine, thanks.” Louis answered quietly.

He felt secure with Laura around, but how would Harry react when they would be on their own? Laura said goodbye to Louis and went out of the kitchen to look for her little girl. Harry followed her.

 

Within a few minutes they were gone and Louis was alone with Harry.

“Sorry that I’m here . . . Lauren and I . . .” Louis couldn’t finish his sentence because Harry interrupted him.

“It’s okay,” he said shortly and started to clean the wounds in silence.

After Harry had washed all the dirt out of the wounds, he started to disinfect them with iodine what hurt and burned a lot but Louis gritted his teeth. Despite the pain Louis enjoyed Harry’s touch that was as gentle as always although it wasn’t a nice situation he was in. But still, it was Harry who was touching him. When he had almost finished, the man put a little bit of ointment onto the wounds and bandaged them neatly.

“Finished,” he said, took the first-aid-box with him to put it back on its place.

There had been a strange tension between them all the time. Harry hadn’t talked a lot and Louis wasn’t sure what he should do next. Maybe he should leave? When Harry didn’t come back after a few minutes, Louis decided to look for him. Surprisingly the pain in his leg wasn’t as bad as Louis thought it would be.

“Harry?” Louis asked as he was opening the bedroom door.

He found Harry sitting on his bed. He didn’t look up when the boy entered the room.

“I hope that you’re not mad at me that Laura brought me here,” Louis said.

Harry glanced briefly at Louis. He just put his elbows on his knees and buried his hands into his curly hair without saying a word. He didn’t react at all, even after a few seconds, he didn’t move. Louis felt so uncomfortable and absolutely out oft of place as he was standing under the door frame. What was he doing here? Harry didn’t want to talk to him anyway and he should have known that before he opened the door to this room. He decided to leave. Just as he was closing the door, Harry reacted finally.

“Don’t leave,” Harry said and got up.

Louis turned around. What? His heart hammered in his chest when Harry opened his arms and made a gesture for Louis to come closer. The relief the boy felt when he wrapped his arms around Harry was immense. Harry kissed Louis’ hair and held him close for a long time without saying a word.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Harry whispered into Louis’ hair, his arms still wrapped tightly around Louis body.

“I thought you wouldn’t like me anymore,” the boy mumbled quietly.

Harry pulled away, took Louis by the hand and sat down onto the bed again. He bit his lip and pushed his hair back.

“That’s not true and I’m very sorry for being a dick. I know that my actions weren’t the best but . . . but you know, it’s not that easy and still, it’s difficult.”

Louis looked at Harry and squeezed his hand. “But . . . I don’t care. Harry, I really . . . “

Harry put his finger onto the boy’s lips and scooted away a little bit.

“Wait. Before you talk you should know that there’s another reason you don’t know yet.” Harry took a deep breath. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you but I think I have to because then you will maybe understand why I reacted how I did.”

Louis blushed and felt his stomach tightening because Harry wasn’t smiling anymore. His face was totally serious.

“I heard some girls talking about you and me. They also made jokes about you and your sexuality. I’m sure they were just gossiping and suggesting but it could also be possible that they’ve seen us together.” Harry pushed his hair back slowly again and sighted. “I wanted it to stop because I didn’t want them to say bad things about you so this is the main reason why I thought we shouldn’t meet anymore. Besides you had already gotten into trouble at home and I just didn’t want you to get hurt even more.” Harry got up. “I really think it’s better for you to stay away from me and I will stay away from you until everything gets normal again. It’s not that I don’t like you, really Louis. It’s just about you and not getting hurt. And spending your time with me is definitely not healthy, for both of us but mostly for you.” Harry caressed Louis’s back. “Sorry for being mean to you, I didn’t mean it.”

Louis couldn’t remember what happened after he had processed Harry’s words. He found himself covered in tears when he stepped out of Harry’s apartment and he didn’t feel any better. He had a little hope that everything would get back to normal between them again when Harry pulled him into the hug but that would have been too good to be true.

 

 


	66. Confusion

“Hi Louis!” Eleanor smiled and gave him a small kiss on the lips when they met.

Nathan laughed. “You’re such a good actress! Maybe you shouldn’t study law but attend a drama school later.”

Eleanor chuckled and took Louis’ hand. While they were walking towards school, Louis saw Harry approaching the friends. What should he do? He couldn’t just pull his hand away because Eleanor would surely notice something was wrong so Louis kept walking side by side. Harry greeted his students shortly but gave Louis a questioning look before he walked away. But honestly, why did he even care if Louis couldn’t be with him anyway?

 

Brandon was back at school. Although he noticed Eleanor and Louis holding hands, he didn’t respond and he even seemed a little bit nicer than before? Louis didn’t know what to think of him and he really didn’t care as long as he left him and Eleanor alone. On this day Brandon walked over to Louis after the last lesson.

“Hey dickhead, you’re very brave,” he remarked.

“Why?” Louis asked him, trying to sound as unimpressed as possible.

“Because you’re trying to annoy me by stealing my girl,” he hissed sharply. “She’s my property, not yours.”

Luckily Eleanor heard it and rushed over. “Sorry?” she said and put her hands on her hips. Where did her self-confidence towards Brandon come from? Louis was impressed.

“I just told him that you belong to me and I just want to make sure nothing bad will happen to you,” Brandon lied. What a bastard.

Eleanor frowned. “Could you please stop threatening Louis?”

“Listen El, I’m not . . .” Brandon tried to defend himself but Eleanor was furious and wouldn’t let him talk.

“No Brandon, you listen to _me_ now. First, we were together and we’re not anymore because of various reasons. Second, you were the one who almost hurt me at the party, remember? And third, it’s none of your business who I’m with. Our relationship is over and you shouldn’t care about my life anymore because now I have Louis. He’s my boyfriend and you haven’t got any reason to worry about me at all!” she yelled at him, her voice stronger than ever. “And don’t you dare to call me your property once more Brandon, I swear!”

Louis could tell she was surprised by her tone herself. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

“Okay, okay. Have fun with your little dickhead,” he snorted. “I’m off.”

Eleanor and Louis chuckled. “I think we won’t have any trouble with him again,” Eleanor whispered jokingly.

Then she kissed Louis on the lips to prove her point. Brandon flipped them off before he walked out of the classroom.

Just when Eleanor was kissing Louis, Harry walked into the room. Louis wished he would have explained the situation to him before but he couldn’t do anything about it. Eleanor didn’t know about Harry and Harry wasn’t informed about Louis “fake girlfriend” project so the situation was quite messed up.

“Hello guys,” he said. “Oh, are you two a thing now?” he asked Eleanor.

“Yes we are,” Eleanor said with a smile and took Louis’ hand into hers.

Harry gave her a smile and nodded. “That’s good news.”

Her acting was fantastic but how could she know it wasn’t appropriate to exaggerate in this moment? Louis gave her a fake smile and blushed enormously. His reaction made Eleanor pull him close and place a quick kiss onto Louis’ cheek.

 

A few days later, Louis needed to go to the bathroom during class. The corridors were empty when he walked over to the toilets. He was just opening the door when he heard someone calling him. It was Harry. He ran towards Louis and pushed him into the bathroom roughly. Harry checked the stalls quickly to make sure that they were all empty. Louis was shocked, didn’t know what to say.

“What’s going on with Eleanor?” Harry almost yelled and gesticulated with his hands. “You’re a couple? Seriously Louis, I’m not your fool!” his voice was so loud that Louis was afraid someone could hear him. “I’m risking everything because of you and then I have to find out that you have a girlfriend?”

Harry pushed his lose hair back and glared at Louis who was clearly confused. What was this? Didn’t Harry want Louis to stay away from him?

“I thought you . . . I didn’t want to . . .” Louis stammered but Harry didn’t listen.

“Please stop it okay? I thought our relationship was something special and not based on a lie.”

“But Harry, please let me explain . . .” Louis plead but the man wouldn’t listen. This was insane.

Harry shook his head. “Never text me again,” he said loudly, went out of the toilets and slammed the door.

Louis thought all of this was his fault. This wouldn’t have happened if Louis had told Harry about Eleanor. He sat down in a stall and locked it. Harry had never yelled at him before. He felt so small, so humiliated and for the first time he was scared by Harry’s enraged voice. It hurt how he yelled at him and it hurt that he didn’t even let Louis explain the situation. His behavior didn’t match the words he had said to the boy few days ago. This was so confusing. A tear ran down Louis’ cheek. He sat there for a few minutes when the door to the bathroom was opened slowly. Louis wished it was Harry but it wasn’t him. It was Nathan.

“Louis?’ his friend asked. “Are you in here?”

“I’m here.” Louis answered and opened the stall.

Nathan pulled a questioning face and touched Louis’ shoulder. “Louis, what happened?” he asked worried. Louis didn’t answer. “Really nothing or nothing you want to talk about?” Nathan asked and pushed his friend out of the toilets.

“Second one,” Louis admitted and rubbed his eyes.

“Come with me, I know where we can talk,” Nathan said.

Louis didn’t contradict him and followed his friend down to the basement where Nathan pointed at an old worn sofa that was standing in an inconspicuous corner of the building.

“If you don’t want to talk I’ll ask you questions and you just nod or shake your head. You’re my friend and I want to help you,” Nathan said.

Louis sighted with his head bowed. He couldn’t look Nathan in the eyes.

“Okay, you’re hiding something.” Louis pressed his lips together and nodded.

“You’re afraid how people will react if it comes out.” Louis nodded again.

“It’s about a guy.” Louis nodded again and felt how tears watered his eyes again.

“It’s Styles,” Nathan guessed.

When he mentioned Harry’s name, Louis felt the pain tugging in his chest. He started to cry bitterly and hid his face behind his hands.

Nathan touched Louis arm. “Is he the friend who needed help a few months ago?” he asked quietly.

Louis couldn’t react. His body was shaking and he wasn’t able to speak because of the uncontrolled sobs that came out of his mouth. Louis was so sad and embarrassed at the same time. What would Nathan think of him?

“Is he . . . I mean . . . is he . . . the Harry you were talking about?”

When Louis didn’t answer, his friend nodded.

“I think I do understand now.”

 

After a while, Louis managed to look at his friend. “Please, don’t tell anyone about him,” he said with his teary voice.

“I won’t, Louis. I won’t,” Nathan replied.

“How did you find out?”

“I got a sixth sense when it comes to these things,” he said with a smile but then his tone got serious. “No honestly, it’s obvious that you like him. The way you’re looking at him during class. You often get nervous and sometimes distracted when he’s in the room or near you. When we were in detention you suddenly got excited when he stepped into the room and the way you reacted this morning was just too obvious.” Nathan’s voice was low. “It wasn’t very complicated for me to connect the dots,” he smiled and rubbed Louis’ back.

Louis tried to dry his tears. “You must think I’m crazy.”

Nathan shook his head and gave him a small smile. “No Louis, I don’t think that. You just have a huge crush on Styles, like many others at this school too.” He chuckled a little.

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t. Almost all girls fall for him so why shouldn’t you too?” Nathan said. “You’re a human being and feelings can’t be controlled.”

Louis gave him a weak smile.

“Come on. Let’s get back to class now. I’m sure our teacher will think we’re skiving off class.”

Louis shook his head and pointed at his eyes. “I can’t return to class like this. Tell them I feel sick and I’ll return when I feel better.”

Nathan nodded and got up.

“And please, don’t tell anyone,” Louis begged.

Nathan smiled at his friend. “I won’t. Trust me, as long as you keep it a secret it will be mine too,” he answered and walked up the stairs.

 

 


	67. A wrong phone call

Although Harry had told Louis not to text him, he tried but of course he wouldn’t answer. What if he really meant it? Besides that, Harry was strictly ignoring Louis outside of the classroom. Maybe that was proof enough that he really didn’t want to be in touch with the boy.

Eleanor did great, her acting skills were awesome. Everyone really thought they were together and she was the reason why Jay and Lottie were nice to Louis again. His project was a double-edged sword. On one hand, his mum and Lottie treated Louis normally again but on the other hand everything was based on a lie. How long could he keep it going? In addition, Louis was also afraid that he was keeping Eleanor from getting a real boyfriend.

“It won’t last forever and right now I’m fine with the situation. Don’t worry,” she said. “At the moment there’s no boy at this school who I’m really interested in and I promise I’ll tell you if I should change my mind. Oh and please don’t forget we’re doing this to help you.”

 

The lie blew a few days later, on a cold November afternoon. Louis tried to do homework but he couldn’t concentrate on it because Harry’s voice was playing in his mind.

_“Seriously Louis, I’m not your fool. Never text me again!”_

Louis’ brain told him not to call Harry but his heart longed for him.  All Louis wanted was to tell him the truth about him and Eleanor. He called Harry twice but he didn’t answer. He tried again one hour later and Harry finally picked up the phone.

“Hello,” he said without any emotion.

“Harry, please listen to me,” Louis begged and paused. Harry didn’t answer. “I miss you.”

 “If that is the case Louis, then why are you with Eleanor?”

“It was you who told me to stay away from you, remember?” Louis was close to tears already.

Harry didn’t say anything. The silence drove Louis crazy, he was desperate so he got up from his bed and yelled into the speaker.

“And . . . you should know that . . . the relationship with Eleanor isn’t real, Harry! It’s fake! I’m not with Eleanor! She’s just covering up for me! I didn’t know what else to do because my mum and my sister are homophobic, they hate me for being gay and I wanted to get their love back. You know how it feels when people judge you just because of your sexuality! You have to believe me, Harry. The relationship with Eleanor is not real! You have to trust me, please!”

Harry’s voice was calm, too calm. “I don’t know if I can believe that story.”

“You have to believe me please!” Louis yelled. “Harry, I don’t love Eleanor, she’s not my girlfriend! It’s fake, as I told you. There’s only one person I . . . I love and that’s you! You’re the one I’m thinking about all day long and you’re the one I want to be with. Please Harry, you have to believe me, Eleanor isn’t my girlfriend. I don’t love her the way I love you, please believe me, please!” Louis’ voice was trembling because he couldn’t hold back the tears that were burning in his eyes. “I miss you so much, I can’t even tell you how much because words can’t express this feeling!” Louis sobbed into the phone desperately as he sunk down onto his bed.

Suddenly the door to Louis’ room was pushed open without a knock. The boy nearly jumped off the bed because of the fright he got when he saw Lottie standing in the door frame. She glared at her brother.

“What the hell are you talking about? What is going on with Eleanor?” Lottie threw her arms in the air. Her face was red of anger. “Are you serious about what you said? Eleanor is your fake girlfriend?” she yelled. “She’s just playing a role? Are you kidding me? Who’s Harry?”

All of a sudden, Jay appeared in the room too. “Charlotte! Why are you yelling at Louis?” Louis wasn’t able to speak. He was frozen because he knew his lie would blow up during the next seconds. This was a nightmare.

“Mum, can you believe Louis lied to us? Eleanor isn’t his girlfriend! She’s just pretending to be his girlfriend to cover up Harry!” Lottie said enraged and pointed at her brother.

His mum’s face became as white as chalk and she stressed nearly every word in her sentence. “Put that damn phone away and come to the kitchen Louis, we have to talk!”

Louis hadn’t realized that he was still holding the phone in his hands. She glared at her son and went out of the room. Lottie followed her. “Hurry up!”

Louis’ felt the pulse pulsing in his neck that it nearly hurt. His hands were shaking as he put the phone back to his ear. “Do you believe me now? It wasn’t a joke!” Louis cried into the speaker.

“I’m sorry Louis,” Harry said quietly. “I’m really sorry. If it should get worse you should know that my door is always open for you okay?”

His voice softened and it made Louis cry even more. He put the phone away but didn’t move for a while. Louis was so afraid what would happen next. His knees were weak when he walked into the kitchen. He took a seat opposite of his mum and Lottie and immediately felt like he was in court.

Jay closed the door. “Is it true what Lottie said? Do you want to tell me the truth finally?” her voice strict that Louis was afraid of his own mother.

He nearly pissed himself out of fear. As Louis didn’t answer, she raised her voice even more.

“Is it true that Eleanor isn’t your girlfriend and that she’s only playing a role?”

His mum’s voice hurt Louis’ ears and his heart. He knew she wouldn’t stop asking so he nodded and felt tears running down his cheeks again.

“Why did you lie to us?” Jay got up from the table, slammed her fists down onto the tabletop and glared at Louis who looked away from her. “So it is really true that you’re gay, isn’t it!” she yelled. “Is that true?!”

Her voice almost cracked because of her aggressive shouting. Louis nodded slightly while Lottie looked at him with disgust.

“What a shame Louis, what a shame! I had hope that it wasn’t true, really. How did it come to this? What have I done wrong? Tell me Louis, what?”

She glared at her son. “Talk to me!” she demanded harshly and shook his arm violently.

 “And tell us who Harry is!” Lottie added.

“Harry is a friend and it’s none of your business!” Louis cried.

“I don’t think he’s just a _friend_ actually, Louis.” Lottie hissed mockingly.

Jay shook her head. “You’re so disgusting Louis, so disgusting. As long as you don’t come clean with yourself I won’t pay you any pocket money anymore. And there’s one more thing you should know.” She stepped closer to him. “I want you to leave my house when you turn eighteen this year and I don’t care where you go as long as you stay away from me and my family, is that clear?! And now get out of my way!” she yelled and pointed to the door.

 

Louis went out of the room with a tail between his legs. How could his life become such a nightmare? He cried bitterly when he walked up the stairs. His whole body was shaking as he let himself fall onto his bed. It didn’t take long until Fizzy appeared in Louis’ room. She nuzzled closer to her older brother, gave him a little kiss and wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m so sorry, Lou,” she whispered. “I promise that I’ll try to talk to them again.”

Louis cried and cried and cried. He felt humiliated, defeated and unloved, even more than ever before. How did it come to this? Why was everything such a mess? After Fizzy left, Louis only thought about how he could escape this hell.

 

 


	68. The escape

Later in the evening Louis put on a pair of jeans and a warm jumper. Then he packed his rucksack and threw some packets of pills into it which he had found in the first-aid box in his bathroom. Louis also took a bottle of Vodka out of the storage room and left the house through the cellar. Nobody saw him when he sneaked out on this cold November evening, his rucksack on his back and a broken heart in his chest.

He first walked over to Harry’s apartment to get his bike. As Laura said, it leaned on the wall next to the garage. Louis drove along the lonely streets until he left Holmes Chapel behind. The wind was blowing directly into Louis’ face, making it almost numb. Louis drove along the main street until he reached the huge junction that lead to the motorway next to the village. There was a little path next to the motorway he could use with the bike. It wasn’t easy to ride on it because the weather got worse from minute to minute. The wind was blowing strong and cold so that he almost couldn’t hold his balance. The little lamp that was shining in front of the bike was only throwing a shady light on the way.

After about half an hour later, Louis got to the junction where Harry had turned right onto the parking lot next to the forest. Louis put the bike next to a tree and walked towards the little path. It was very dark in this area, so Louis took out his phone to light the way up. Unfortunately, the battery was almost gone.

The pale moonlight was shining through the treetops while Louis was walking towards the glade Harry had shown him a few weeks ago. Somewhere up in the trees an owl called out a few times. Then it got silent again. The only sound Louis could hear were the blowing of the wind and the noises his shoes made every time he stepped onto the almost naked branches. When he arrived at the glade, he walked over to the little hutch quickly. There he opened the door with an extra key Harry had hid in a little crack in the wall. Louis locked the door from the inside before he sat down on the sofa. He took out the vodka and the pills out of the rucksack, wrapped himself into a thick blanket and stared at the tabletop.

_“You’re so disgusting, Louis, so disgusting. I want you to leave my house when you turn eighteen this year and I don’t care where you go as long as you stay away from my family, is that clear?!”_

His mum’s words were playing in his head again and again when Louis opened the bottle of vodka. Then he pulled out two packs of pills and emptied the packages onto the table. The packs had been used already so he took all pills that were left into the palm of his left hand. It was impossible to swallow them at once so Louis took one after another and washed them down with huge gulps of vodka. The liquid was burning in his throat but Louis didn’t care. It didn’t take long until everything got blurry around Louis and he passed out.

 


	69. Last minute rescue

Harry couldn’t sleep at all because he was only thinking about Louis. He had already tried to call him several times but he couldn’t reach him. The boy never answered his calls so he worried about him. Harry felt so sorry for him and incredibly guilty. How could he doubt Louis’ words only for one second? How could his family be so cruel to him, how could they throw all these ugly words at him? Why didn’t he call him? Why didn’t he come over? Harry knew what he was going through because he had experienced the same with his dad. He knew Louis must have been hurt endlessly, crushed and heartbroken, especially at such a young age. He sent Louis another message and tried to call him again but his mobile was always leading Harry to the mailbox.

When Harry went to school the next day, he got the information that things at work would eventually change quicker than he had expected. Mrs. Cleve told him that Mrs. Holloway would probably come back in January what meant Harry would stop teaching then. But there was good news too: The headmistress asked Harry if he would like to help her with a special project so his stay could be extended for a few months until he found a new job. It wasn’t official but nearly confirmed.

In the afternoon Louis’ friend Nathan came to Harry’s office surprisingly. He seemed very worried when he sat down on the chair in front of Harry’s desk.

“Mr. Styles . . . I don’t know how to start . . . I . . . I think that you’re the only one who might help me.”

“Tell me what happened,” Harry said and leaned forward.

“Louis . . . we don’t know where he is,” Nathan explained.  “I have already tried to call him several times yesterday evening and this morning but he didn’t answer his phone. His mum told me Louis was missing the whole night and she also doesn’t know where he is. I know that he likes you and . . . that you’re close to him so I wondered if . . . I wondered if you knew something. I’ve called all our friends but no one knows anything about Louis. I’m so worried.”

Harry wasn’t sure if he should give in or deny. Was Nathan only pretending he knew or had Louis told him particular things? But why would Louis’ friend come to his office if he only pretended that he knew? Nathan seemed very serious so he decided to trust him because of Louis.

“I know he had trouble with his mum yesterday but I don’t know more about it. I have also tried to call him but he’s not responding. Maybe his phone died or he hasn’t taken it with him,” Harry said. “We should call the police first.”

“His mum has already called the police but they said they had to wait for a few days until a person could be reported missing. And it’s only been one night so far. Could you help me to look for him? I have already been to places we used to go to but he wasn’t there,” Nathan said and bowed his head. “You know . . . I thought maybe you . . . you have other places where . . . you know . . . where he could be.”

Harry looked out of the window. Should he tell him? After a few seconds, Harry nodded. “I think I know a place where he could be. Do you want to come with me and look for him?”

“Yes of course I want to. Thank you so much.”

 

A few minutes later they were on the motorway that led to the little parking lot where Harry had been with Louis when they first met. Harry and Nathan walked over to the little hut that was hidden in the forest. There they knocked on the wooden front door but nobody answered. Harry tried to open the door but it was locked and the spare key was gone.

“Nathan, could you please have a look through the window? The spare key is gone, maybe he’s inside,” he yelled towards the boy who was standing next to the front window.

“Yeah, there’s someone on the sofa but I can’t see who it is!”

It was almost dark outside and there was no lights switched on in there. Harry’s heartbeat increased and he panicked a little. He looked for a huge branch and tried to open the door with it. Nathan helped him and after a few minutes they managed to get access. Harry’s heart nearly stopped beating as he saw Louis on the sofa. He looked like a fallen angel. An empty bottle of vodka lied on the floor and there were some opened boxes of pills on the table. He rushed over to Louis.

“Louis!” Harry yelled at the pale boy and slapped him slightly but he didn’t move. “Louis, can you hear me?”

No answer. Was he even breathing? Had he tried to kill himself with the mixture of pills and alcohol? How long had he been lying here? It was incredibly cold in the hut and Louis’ skin felt like ice, his pulse was barely there.

Nathan was close to tears and so was Harry. The state of the fragile boy could lead to hyperthermia what could be immensely dangerous for his health, Harry knew that. Louis body felt lifeless. There was no reaction, no movement, anything. Harry wet his finger and held it under Louis’ nose. He seemed to breathe. Not much but at least he did. Harry put him into the stable side position immediately in case if he needed to free his passages.

Harry immediately called the ambulance. They came after a few minutes and took Louis to the next hospital. Nathan and Harry followed the ambulance with Harry’s car. When they finally arrived there, the doctors had already cleaned out Louis’ stomach and had put him on a drip. His breathing was still weak, so he had an oxygen mask on his face. He looked so pale and fragile in the white bed with his eyes closed, surrounded by all that medical equipment and apparatus that beeped constantly.

Nathan was holding Louis’ hand as the doctor came into the room. “Good evening, gentleman. I wanted to thank you for bringing him here in time. A few hours later and he could have died from intoxication and hypothermia.”

The doctor checked the machines. “We’re trying to rise his body temperature up to normal slowly. When you found him his body temperature was on a dangerous level. He’s got an inflammation of the bladder, that’s for sure but the most dangerous part is that he took way too many pills with a lot of alcohol. It might be that his perception isn’t working normally. We’ve called his family a few minutes ago, they’re on their way. You can stay with him as long as you want. If you need something just call the nurse,” he explained and went away.

“Do you think he will be alright?’ Nathan whispered.

“I hope so,” Harry answered and touched Louis’s arm slightly. Then he got up. “I think we should go and let him sleep for a while.”

Harry offered Nathan a hot chocolate and bought an espresso without sugar for himself from the wending machine in the hall. He needed the shot to process the shock and to distract himself from Louis’s fragile state. Harry felt incredibly guilty.

After about half an hour the doctor called Harry and Nathan into Louis’ room because his family had just arrived.

Louis’ mum thanked the doctor for his help but he pointed at Nathan and Harry. “Mr. Styles and Nathan found Louis. You should thank them, not us. If they would have found him a few hours later, he could have died.”

Mrs. Tomlinson shook her head and reached out for Harry’s hand. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that you found him. Thank you, Mr. Styles. Thank you so much for saving him.” She was close to tears.

 

 


	70. Hospital

When Louis woke up he felt dizzy and everything around him was blurry. He could hear voices talking but he couldn’t differentiate them properly. His body felt weak, he was freezing and his head was aching terribly. He didn’t know where he was at first. Everything was white around him, strange beep sounds came from the left. Louis moved his head slowly to the right and saw a tall man standing next to the bed. He was at tall as Harry and his hair . . .

“Harry . . .” Louis whispered while he reached out his hand to him. He was too weak to speak properly. Harry just squeezed his hand quickly and pulled away.

“It’s a good sign that he’s recognizing you,” the doctor said to Harry.

“How are you feeling, Louis?” the doctor asked the boy and looked into Louis’ eyes with a small lamp.

In that moment, his mother lost her self-control.

“No! This can’t be real! Mr. Styles, tell me this is not true! This can’t be true!” her voice was so loud and shrill that it hurt Louis’ ears.

“ _You_ are Harry?” Louis’ mum came closer to the bed. “Tell me this is not true!”

The doctor tried to calm her. “Please Mrs. Tomlinson, please don’t shout in here. Your son is still very weak. Stress isn’t good for him at all!”

But the furious woman didn’t calm down, on the contrary. “How old are you and who has allowed you to touch my son?” She glared at Harry.

“You’re his teacher!” Lottie yelled and pushed Harry’s arm. “Get away from my brother!”

The doctor was helpless watching the scene. “Please ladies and gentlemen, please don’t yell in here! Louis needs to recover!”

Jay gesticulated frantically, completely ignoring the doctor. “What? You’re his teacher? And you’re gay? I really don’t want to know what you’ve done to him! Maybe you have even forced him to do things he would have never done if he hadn’t met you!” she yelled so that he neck and face got redder and redder every second.

Harry stayed calm. “I might be gay but this is not the point. Do you have any idea why your son took all these pills and drank the vodka? Why he ran away from home? If we wouldn’t have found him, he could have died!” Harry’s voice was strong and confident. “Please think about what’s more important at the moment!”

“He’s right mum and you know that,” Fizzy said, trying to pull her mum away.

“That’s none of your business!” she yelled at her oldest daughter before she turned to the doctor.

“Doctor, I don’t want this man to come near my son anymore!” Jay said.

Louis was weak, definitely, but he couldn’t stand how his mum was yelling at Harry so he tried to say something to her. “Mum please, don’t . . .” but his voice was too weak and too quiet. She didn’t react at all because she was too busy yelling at Harry.

“Stay away from my son!”

Louis turned his head into Harry’s direction and reached out for his hand again.

“Don’t go!” he said quietly and tried to move but he couldn’t. It seemed like Harry couldn’t hear him.

“This is my son and you’re not a close person so I want you to leave the room immediately!” Jay insisted.

“Mum, this is so unfair! Stop yelling at him! If it wasn’t for him, Louis could have been dead by now!” Fizzy yelled outraged, gesticulating with her hands.

Louis’ mum pushed her hands down harshly. “Fizzy stop it! It’s none of your business!”

Harry looked her in the eyes, gave Nathan a sign and went out of the room.

 

When Louis felt better, the doctor came to him and explained his situation. “You could have died because of talking so many pills in combination with the alcohol. We first had to stabilize your fluid balance and clean your stomach out. It wasn’t just the problem that your body was nearly poisoned by the pills and the alcohol but you were found freezing what lead you to be diagnosed with hypothermia. All those things could have leaded to a cardiac arrest or at least it could have made you fall into a coma,” the doctor said. “Mr. Styles and Nathan found you in the very last moment, Louis. You were very lucky.”

 

 


	71. Accusations

Jay was still very reserved towards Louis when she picked him up from the hospital. Louis had the impression that she wasn’t sure if she should be angry at her son or if she should be happy to have him back. It seemed more important to her to underline that he should get away from Harry and everything that happened was his fault.

“He forced you into something you weren’t aware of and something you aren’t. I had a lot of time to think about it and I came to the conclusion that everything that happened wasn’t your fault, it was his.”

Her words made Louis incredibly angry. How could she believe everything was Harry’s fault when it was hers and Lottie’s actually? Louis clenched his fists, trying not to respond to her words while he was staring out of the window.

When they arrived home, his mum wanted to talk with Louis. Jay made some tea and they sat down in the living room.

“Louis . . .” she said seriously, “I know that everything’s different since your dad left us and I do understand that it’s a tough time for you. Maybe we all have changed and that’s causing problems now. I know how much you loved your dad and I’m sure you’re missing him a lot.”

She paused, scooted closer to Louis and caressed his shoulder gently. Her voice was soft and caring without hate or anger.

“I know it’s not easy when you’re young because you’re struggling with certain issues and sometimes you do things you will regret later. But you have to promise me one thing. Please stay away from guys, especially Mr. Styles.”

This was exhausting and Louis really wanted to scream his anger into her face but he kept his mouth shut.

“I don’t want you to meet this man anymore and I want you to forget about him and whatever he has told you. You need to focus on normal things again like friends, girls, football, school and your sisters. Things every teenager cares about, things which are normal. Your sisters need you here Louis and I need you too.”

Louis grabbed a pillow and squeezed it to contain his temper.

“I don’t know what his plan for you is but I can tell it’s not a good one. Please Louis, please stay away from him and be careful. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re gay, can you? I don’t want to have a gay child, that’s abnormal. And you’re not disgusting, you’re my son. Forget what he told you and try to be yourself again,” she nearly begged. “If you stay away from him, I will not report the incidence to the police.”

Louis stared at his mum. Was she really trying to blackmail him? Her words hurt Louis so much but Louis still thought it would be smarter not to answer. He just nodded along and pressed his lips together.

 

Later Louis called Nathan and asked him if he could come to his house because the boy wanted to thank him personally.

“You’re welcome but it was Mr. Styles who saved you actually. I just asked him for help because I didn’t know what else to do. You didn’t answer the phone and your family had no clue where you were,” he said when Louis thanked him again.

Louis sat down onto the bed. “I think you must have a lot of questions.”

“I don’t want to force you. Tell me what you want me to know.”

Louis decided to tell his friend the whole story. He told Nathan about his girlfriends and the feeling he had missed back then. He told Nathan about his fascination for Harry and how he helped him after his little accident at school.

“For the first time in my life I felt secure and comfortable with someone. I have never had such feelings toward a girl,” Louis explained.

Louis told Nathan even about the note and showed it to him.

“When mum found this note, she lost it completely. She yelled at me, she slapped me and called me disgusting. Even my sister Lottie treated me like crap for a long time until Fizzy came up with the plan of the fake girlfriend. You know how that ended.”

Louis got up from the bed. “My mum still thinks being gay is just a phase. She doesn’t want to believe me,” Louis sighted. “But the worst thing is she thinks that Harry has forced me into this.” Louis sat down again. “Mum wants me to stay away from him but I can’t. He didn’t force me into anything Nathan, he really didn’t.”

Nathan scooted closer and put his arm around Louis’ shoulders. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

“And the worst part is that mum wants me to move out when I become eighteen in December if I don’t come clean.” He rubbed the palms of his hands over his face. “And this is what will happen in a few weeks because I won’t change for her, I can’t change,” Louis said desperately. “The next thing is . . . what about if people find out that I’m gay? They’ll judge me and maybe they’ll also think I’m disgusting and a shame, just like mum and Lottie do.” His voice was almost hoarse but Louis didn’t care. His emotions were boiling so he blurted everything out that was on his mind. “I’m so afraid of everything.” Louis’ voice trembled. “Harry is still my teacher! He told me he has to leave our school but I don’t know when. I want him to stay. What if he has to move away from here?”

“I would like to help you but I don’t know how,” Nathan said sadly. “I know it’s difficult but what if you wouldn’t care about what people think? They don’t need to know you liked him when he was your teacher so maybe you can hide that part when he leaves our school?” Nathan suggested. “Well, the only problem will be that he’s your teacher now. Just be careful.”

Louis nodded. “I know. But people will talk about us, I’m sure. Look, Holmes Chapel is such a small village, Harry’s much older than I am . . . I don’t know.” Louis bowed his head.

“Louis, as long as you’re happy it’s fine. Don’t care about the others okay? I’m sure your real friends will still love you, no matter if you like boys or girls and no matter who you’re with.” Nathan patted Louis’ cheek playfully. “Don’t be afraid. You’re a cool guy Louis, we all love you. You family just needs more time to process everything, I’m sure.”

Louis smiled a little and wiped the tears away from his cheeks.

“There will only be one problem,” Nathan said. Louis looked at him frowning. Then Nathan laughed out loudly. “A lot of girls will be heartbroken because of you!”

 

 The atmosphere during the next days was tensed. Jay still thought everything that had happened was Harry’s fault and she was still thinking that being gay was just a phase her son was going through. Louis didn’t want Harry to get sued or something so they both decided to keep the distance although it hurt Louis very much.

 


	72. The winter football match

It was a tradition that Louis’ school organized a Winter Football Match at the end of November. The whole school yard and football pitch were decorated with flags and light chains. Hot drinks and food was sold in a huge heated tent where people could sit too. Music was playing everywhere.

On his way to the sports hall Louis noticed a group of girls waiting in front of the entrance. He knew some of them because a lot of people liked attending the trainings on a regular basis. When he came into the dressing room, the other boys were discussing about the girls.

“Have you seen the blonde one?” Jo asked Louis with a grin.

He just shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t seen her before.”

Jo put an arm around Louis’ shoulder. “I saw she’s got your face printed on her shirt.”

Louis frowned and looked at him disbelievingly. Some other mates laughed and whistled. Jo patted Louis’ back and winked at him. “You’re one of the popular ones, always remember that.”

Louis shook his head. “I’m not sure if you drank too much yesterday, but I’m definitely not the most popular guy here.”

“But what about all the letters you’re getting all the time?” Jo asked.

Louis pulled a face. It was true, some girls wrote letters to him but Louis didn’t pay much attention to it. Just in that moment the coach came into the dressing room, walked towards the guys and laughed.

“Good morning boys! Look what I got!” he smiled and waved the letters in the air. “I’ve emptied the letterbox again! Here we got one for the team, one letter for Alex, three for Shane, two for Nathan, one for Jo and the rest is for you Louis!” he smiled and winked at him.

Louis stared at the letters Matt handed him, then put them onto the bench. “Oh Tomlinson, I can’t understand you’re still single. I’m not sure how to make you aware of the fact that you could literally have every girl you wanted.” Jo said.

He took the letters from the bench.

“This one’s from Lilly and this one from . . . Alley. Oh and look, this one is from May.”

“Who’s May?” Louis asked Jo unimpressed what made his mate laugh.

“Anyways,” Jo said, throwing the letters back on the bench again. “You just have to choose one and you’ll be in paradise!”

Louis patted Jo’s shoulder. “Thanks Jonathan but I’d prefer to concentrate on the game today but . . . you know what? You can have them all.” Louis smiled and walked toward the door. “You just have to choose one!” he said giggling and went out of the room. “Good luck!”

 

Louis met Nathan in the heated tent where they bought two cups of hot chocolate and sat down. Suddenly Louis heard a voice calling his name. He turned around and saw Fizzy waving. Then he noticed his mum and sisters walking next to her. Louis’ mum started a conversation with Nathan immediately and Phoebe sat down onto Louis’ lap.

“Are you nervous because of the game?” she asked and wrapped her hands around Louis’ neck.

“A little bit maybe,” Louis responded while he was caressing her hair.

“I have to tell you a secret!” she whispered suddenly.

“Oh, secrets are always good aren’t they?” he whispered back jokingly and winked at his sister. Phoebe cupped Louis’ ear between her little hands.

“I saw Harry,” she said.

“That’s a good one!” Louis whispered back again and smiled at her.

He pretended to be happy although he could feel his heart burning. He had only seen Harry in class during the last week and just the imagination of him being there got him excited. Was it really Harry? Or was it someone who looked like him?

Louis’ thoughts were interrupted when Nathan told him they had to get ready for the match. On the way to the dressing rooms Louis noticed that the stands were getting full and there were almost no seats left. People were even standing next to the pitch, holding their hot drinks. That was nice.

The start of the game was overwhelming. All those people were waving at the team, cheering, yelling – it was an incredible feeling for Louis to step on the pitch with the boys. They had trained so hard and finally they could show what they were able to do. Taylor gladly scored the third goal during the last five minutes of the match so it was clear that Holmes Chapel won and it was such a blast.

 

It was already dark when the little private party of the team ended. People were spread around the yard and although it was cold they were enjoying themselves. Louis wanted to find Fizzy again so he took out the phone out to call her. All of a sudden, he heard someone saying his name quietly. Louis startled when he saw who it was: Harry. The boy’s heart dropped. Phoebe was right, he was actually there.

“Harry!” Louis’ words came out as a whisper.

He looked so comfy and cuddly in his winter clothes that Louis wanted to hug him. He reached out for his hand but Harry stepped back.

“I don’t think we should do that,” he said and made a gesture.

Louis looked at him sadly. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

Harry and Louis walked towards the heated tent. Louis was just happy to see him again so he didn’t think about other people or the consequences that he could be facing. The only thing that mattered was that Harry was actually there. When they stepped into the tent, Phoebe came running towards them. She hugged her brother and buried her face into Louis’ tummy. Louis wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey. Where are the others?” Louis asked her. He didn’t assume there might be a problem if his mum saw Louis walking next to Harry.

“Over there!” the girl said and pointed at them.

Phoebe took Louis hand, looked up to Harry and reached out for him too. Harry looked surprised at first but then he gave her a nice smile and took her hand into his. Suddenly Louis heard the sharp voice of my mum.

“Phoebe what are you doing?”

She ran towards them, grabbed Phoebe roughly and pulled her away. Jay totally ignored Louis as she started yelling at Harry. The music in the tent was playing loudly so Jay’s harsh words couldn’t be heard by other people, thank god.

“Did or didn’t I tell you to stay away from Louis and my family?” she glared at Harry but didn’t let him answer. Then she turned to Louis. “Why is he with you? What is he doing here?”

“Mrs. Tomlinson, don’t worry about Louis. I’m not here because of him. I just wanted to support the football team. I was about to leave anyways,” Harry explained and touched Louis’ shoulder for a second.

Louis’ mum slapped his hand away. “Put your hands away from my son!”

Harry just looked at her, put his hands into the pockets of his jacket and turned around. This was too much for Louis. He stepped in front of his mum.

“Mum, stop it! This is so unfair! He hasn’t done anything wrong and you’re treating him like this!”

“You are my son Louis and I don’t want you to . . .” she said harshly but got interrupted by Harry.

“I’m leaving, it’s okay,” Harry said and walked away without saying goodbye.

“We’re leaving too. I want you to be home in one hour at the latest,” Jay told Louis and walked away with the twins.

“Don’t be sad. One day she’ll understand,” Fizzy tried to reassure her brother.

“I don’t think so,” Louis answered and bowed his head.

Fizzy winked at him. “Your Harry is so nice. I think I already know why you can’t resist him.” She gave Louis a small smile. “And he looks beautiful.”

Louis came home in time and locked himself in his room. When he looked at his phone, he saw a message from Harry.

 _Harry: Would you like to come to my house? I need to talk to you._  
Louis: I’d like to but I have to wait until my mum will fall asleep.  
Harry: That’s fine. I’m awake, come over whenever you want to.

Louis’ mum was in the living room and watched a silly romance with Hugh Grant. She fell asleep after one hour. She always did when she was watching films. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. What made her so angry? Lottie was a teenager and teenagers usually had weird opinions about different issues but his mum? This time Louis didn’t want to run away. He decided to leave her a note.

_“Hi mum, I’m at Harry’s. I didn’t want to lie to you again. I got my phone with me if you need to call me._ _Not sure when I’ll be back. - Louis.”_

 

 


	73. Boyfriend

It was about ten o’clock when Louis pushed Harry’s doorbell impatiently. After a few seconds, he heard his raspy voice through the intercom. When Louis walked up the stairs, he noticed the door to the apartment was already open. He walked in, closed the door and put his rucksack on the floor.

“Harry?” Louis yelled.

Harry stepped out of his bedroom, gave Louis a kiss on his mouth and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m glad you’re here,” Harry said while he took Louis’ hand and lead the boy into the living room.

“I’m sorry how my mum treated you again,” Louis mumbled.

Harry shook his head. “It’s okay, don’t worry. She wants to protect you. That’s all.”

Louis sat down on Harry’s sofa and wrapped himself in a thick fluffy blanket while Harry went out to get some tea from the kitchen. Louis sighted. He already felt at home, there was no place in the whole wide world he’d rather be than here with Harry.

When Harry came back he sat down next to Louis and looked at him thoughtfully. “You know, I thought about your mum’s reactions a lot.” He filled two cups with tea and handed one to Louis. “I’m sure there’s more to it than you and I know. I don’t think she’s just angry because you told her about your sexuality and I don’t think she hates me that much.” Harry took a sip of his tea. “Well, she could be pissed because I’m your teacher but . . . I don’t think that’s the reason she is so bitter,” Harry remarked and sat down comfortably.

“I don’t know,” Louis answered. “Since our argument we haven’t had a normal chat about anything.” He took his cup from the table and put his hands around it.

“Just give her some time.”

“I told my mum that I’d be at yours.”

Harry frowned. “Oh. I don’t think she was very pleased with it, wasn’t she.”

“She was asleep, I left her a note.”

“Did you tell her my address?”

“No, I just told her that I’ll be with you and she could call me if she wanted me to come home,” Louis answered.

Harry nodded. “That’s a good thing, I think.”

He got up and lit the fireplace. Then they snuggled up under the thick fluffy blanket. Louis put his head onto Harry’s chest as always, wrapped one arm around him while Harry pulled the boy close and caressed his back slowly. This was his favorite position ever. The fire threw shadows across the room and the crackling wood calmed Louis down. He looked into the flickering flames in the fireplace.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Harry whispered and kissed Louis’ hair.

The younger boy caressed Harry’s waist gently and lifted his head from Harry’s chest to give him a quick kiss onto his neck. Harry smiled at Louis and ran his fingers through his hair. Louis smiled too, nuzzled closer to Harry and laid his head back onto his chest. Being that close with Harry was heavenly. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Was there a better feeling in this world than this? Louis sighted again.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’ve never felt that good with anyone,” Louis answered. “And I wonder if . . . I mean, I wonder . . . what we are.” Louis got up from Harry’s chest.

“What do you want us to be?” Harry asked softly.

Louis’ heart hammered in his chest. Should he tell Harry? Thoughts of his yelling mum came to his mind. The imagination of being with Harry seemed unrealistic, very unrealistic. Was it just fantasy? Louis almost didn’t dare to look Harry in the eyes and felt how his cheeks flushed.

“I mean it would be . . . I . . . want you . . . to be with me, like . . .” Louis stammered. “Sorry . . . I . . . it’s too much for me . . . you know, I’m afraid . . . to lose you and . . . mum and Lottie . . . I don’t know.”

Harry felt how worried Louis was and pulled the boy closer again, wrapped his arms around his torso and caressed his hair.

“You won’t lose me,” he said calmly. “I want the same Louis, I really do. You’re funny, smart, talented, warmhearted and you’re beautiful. I care about you and I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

Louis looked up. “Do you really mean it?” The words came out as a quiet, hoarse whisper.

Harry reached out for Louis’ hand and their fingers intervened almost automatically. “Of course I mean it. I love you Louis and I’d love to be your boyfriend,” Harry said softly and got up. He took both of Louis’ hands into his and looked him directly in the eyes.

“I want you to believe me, Louis. And that’s why I’m asking you officially now. Would you like to be my secret boyfriend for the next month?” Harry smiled and squeezed Louis’ hands.

The boy just nodded and pulled Harry in for a kiss. “That would be wonderful,” he said just before his lips touched Harry’s again. The warm, intimate feeling captured Louis as he brushed his tongue against Harry’s gently. Then the boy pulled away. “Wait. What do you mean you want me to be your secret boyfriend for the next month?”

Harry chuckled. “Sorry, that must have sounded pretty weird. Don’t look at me like that!” He laughed. “Haven’t I told you that I probably won’t be your teacher after the winter holidays anymore? Mrs. Holloway will be back in January and in all probability I will stay at your school for a few more weeks or months to help Mrs. Cleve with a project she’s involved in. But the good thing is I won’t be your teacher then and everything will be a little easier for us.” Harry gave Louis a small kiss on his mouth. “No more secrets, no more lies.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

Harry caressed the back of Louis’ hands with his thumbs gently. “Why?”

Louis bowed his head. “That’s good news but . . . I’m still afraid of . . . I mean, how will people react?” His voice was quiet. “What will people say about me or us when they find out that we’re dating? I’m afraid of their reactions and I’m afraid what mum will do if she finds out we’re in a proper relationship.”

“I do understand that you’re worried. I really do,” Harry said softly. “You know, you should try to blend out other people’s opinions. It’s your life, your feelings, your decisions. Nobody should tell you who you have to be with.” Harry rubbed small circles onto Louis’s hands. “Of course we have to be careful and maybe it would be better to keep our relationship a secret until I leave your school. But the most important thing is that I love you, Lou,” Harry said softly and leaned in for a long, gentle kiss.

“I don’t care if I have to hide with you. That will be okay. It won’t be for a long time and I’m sure, even your mum and Lottie will adapt to it sooner or later.”

Harry got up after a while and came back with two small boxes of ice cream. He handed Louis a box and a spoon. “I think we should celebrate now,” Harry said smiling. Then Harry came up with the idea to watch his favorite movie. He put a few more pieces of wood into the fireplace and pulled the DVD out of his treasure chest.

Louis liked the movie but he couldn’t concentrate on it. He was too agitated because he couldn’t stop thinking of Harry and him. How could he tell his family, let alone other people? What should Louis tell people if someone asked him about Harry? How they had met? Would people also treat him like the boy who came out at his old school? Would he be bullied too? Who made the decisions what was wrong or right? Louis snuggled closer to Harry who immediately put an arm around the boy. Louis felt loved, secure and happy in this moment. After a while, he closed his eyes.

Suddenly Louis felt a hand on his cheek. “Hey love, are you sleeping?”

Louis opened his eyes and looked directly into Harry’s face. He shook his head although he knew he was about to fall asleep. How soft this man’s face was and his fluffy curls were so beautiful. “I was just thinking about some things,” he answered and touched Harry’s curls.

Harry chuckled. “Well . . . I was also thinking about some things,” he said with a smirk. His eyes were sparkling as he gave Louis a gentle kiss. “A few things you might like,” he cooed as his thumb caressed Louis’ chin and lips.

His face came closer to Louis’ again and the boy’s heartbeat increased as his crush kissed him gently. Louis opened his mouth and let his tongue circle around Harry’s slowly before he pulled away again. Harry changed his position on the sofa, laid down next to Louis and turned Louis’ chin towards his face as he was looking deep into Louis’ eyes. The boy closed his eyes and let himself fall into the following kiss that was so intimate that it caused his body to react in that special way he only had experienced with Harry. After the kiss, Louis explored Harry’s face with his fingertips. “You’re so beautiful,” Louis whispered and kissed his boyfriend again.

 

The fire was still crackling and made a beautiful sound. Louis just looked into Harry’s green eyes that travelled across the boy’s face. When Harry focused Louis’ lips, he gently pulled Harry closer and kissed him again. Louis almost automatically buried his hands into Harry’s dense curls and Harry left little kisses all over Louis’ face. He turned his head a little what made Harry chuckle. “I know baby, I know,” he breathed into Louis’ ear and kissed it gently. Louis felt the tension building in his crotch immediately, just from that. Then he lifted his head and got up from his former position, straddled Harry’s legs and pushed the man back gently. Harry smirked as Louis leaned forward and hovered over him, his eyes glued to his beautiful face.

Louis looked Harry in the eyes for a long time while Harry slid his hand down Louis’ back slowly until he rested it onto the bottom of his spine. He smiled mischievously and pushed Louis ass down a little so that their crotches touched. Louis felt that Harry was a little hard too when started rubbing against Louis’s bulge slowly. Harry smirked at Louis, pulled his head down and licked slowly over Louis’ ear. “Do what I do,” he whispered and wrapped his arms around the boy.

Harry’s hot breath and the sound of his voice made Louis’ penis throb. He tried to rub his bulge against Harry’s, but it was way too clumsy at first. After a while he managed to find a steady rhythm and it felt good, it felt amazing. Louis’ jeans got tighter and tighter. He stopped his movements, sat down onto Harry’s thighs and started to open Harry’s zipper. While he was opening it, Harry reached out his hand to touch Louis’ face.

“You’re so beautiful, Louis,” he said and watched Louis’ hands.

Louis took his hand in his and kissed it. Then he tugged Harry’s sweatpants down towards his ankles. Harry kicked them off his legs and got into an upright position. He wrapped his hands around Louis’ body and kissed him sloppily before he started to push the boy down again until he had full access to his zipper. He pulled Louis’ jeans down too and straddled Louis’ legs. Louis’ bulge was clearly noticeable and his penis was already wet when Harry gently touched it through the fabric for a few seconds. Then Harry hovered over the boy again and started rubbing his crotch heavily against Louis’. The boy wrapped his arms around Harry to pull him closer and pushed his hips up to get more friction. Harry’s breathing was hot against Louis’ ear what turned him on even more so that he let out a quiet moan.

“This is so good Lou and you’re so wet for me already,” Harry breathed into Louis’ ear what send a shiver down his spine. He loved this feeling.

Louis slid his hands over Harry’s back, grabbed his neck and pushed his head down to hold him closer and give him a sloppy, wet kiss. Louis’ breath was heavy against Harry’s ear as the tension in his lower stomach got stronger. Louis continued to kiss Harry sloppily and thrusted harder against him. He was too close although he didn’t want to come yet but that was it. Harry’s breathing increased too when Louis suddenly released into his underwear. He whimpered and tugged at Harry’s hair while his body was shaking from his high. Harry let out a moan too.

“I love when you pull my hair, baby,” Harry breathed and gave Louis a kiss onto his forehead. “Fuck, you look so beautiful when you’ve come,” he whispered and let his fingers run along Louis’ cheeks. “Stay like this, please. Don’t move.”

Louis just nodded and bit his lip while he followed Harry’s movements. He took off his underwear and straddled Louis again. Louis just stared at Harry’s boner and bit his lip again, still feeling hot and dizzy from the sensation of coming. Harry’s right hand that wrapped around his huge penis that was already hard. He looked deep into Louis eyes when he started to let his right hand glide up and down his shaft in front of the boy. Louis buried his hands into Harry’s thighs and squeezed them as he watched Harry wanking himself slowly at first. Harry didn’t break his intense stare while Louis just kneeled in front of him. This was so dirty and the way Harry looked at Louis nearly killed him. This man was the sexiest thing ever and Louis couldn’t look away from him. Harry’s breathing increased slightly and he started to moan a little as the speed of his hand increased and got faster while he still looked Louis in the eyes. Louis kissed him again. Harry’s kiss was clumsy and hot and Louis continued to pull his hair.

“Oh . . . my . . . god, fuck!” Harry moaned loudly. He screwed his eyes shut, moaned again when he came and finally collapsed onto Louis who was holding him close.

The boy wrapped his arms around Harry, let his hand run up and down his back and held him close until he recovered from his orgasm. After a while Harry got off Louis and leaned onto his right arm. He looked at the boy and stroked a streak off his forehead.

“This was so good love, so good. If you could see your pretty face after coming, I just had to do it, thank you for letting me,” Harry said before he gave Louis a gentle kiss.

“Sorry that it happened so fast again, I . . .” Louis mumbled.

Harry shook his head. “There’s nothing to apologize for love.”

Louis hid his face as he nuzzled closer to Harry’s chest. “It’s so embarrassing, really.”

Harry moved away a little and pushed Louis’ chin up until their eyes met. “Hey. Trust me, it’s nothing to be embarrassed for. You’re new to this but you will get used to it quickly,” Harry said seriously. “You might be able to hold it for hours after some more practice,” Harry said with a grin. He gave Louis another kiss and touched the boy’s nipples slightly with his fingertips.

Harry’s gentle touch let Louis feel the warm feeling in his lower stomach again. He bit his lip and watched Harry’s hand. Jesus, he was so sensitive. Harry chuckled as he pulled away again.

“And then I’ll tease you until you can’t hold it anymore,” he whispered into Louis’ ear and gave him a quick lick.

The sound of his voice and his filthy words made Louis shiver. He couldn’t believe that it would be possible to pull himself together for such a long time. He barely lasted a few minutes so . . .

Harry noticed Louis’ look and chuckled. “Are you scared?“

“A little bit maybe.”

Harry gave him a cute little kiss onto his cheek.

“Don’t think too much about it. I just want you to feel good and in case if you aren’t okay with something just tell me, alright?”

Louis nodded and smiled at Harry. After they had cleaned the mess, Harry and Louis sat down on the sofa again and nuzzled close to each other. Harry put his head onto Louis’ lap who gently scratched his scalp and played with his hair. He had his eyes closed and obviously enjoyed Louis’ sweet gesture.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked with his eyes still closed.

Louis kissed his nose what made Harry giggle.

“Happy.” Louis answered and took Harry’s hand in his.

Harry opened his eyes. “Do you want to stay for the night or would you rather go home?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

Harry smiled. “Well, I don’t want you to leave so you have to stay, I suppose.”

 

 


	74. New sexual experiences

The clock showed 6:30 in the morning when Louis woke up. He groaned, closed his his eyes again and wrapped his arm around Harry’s body.

Harry slowly opened his eyes a little bit.

“Good morning, love,” he said sleepy and caressed Louis’ cheek.

Louis nuzzled closer to Harry and mumbled a muffled “morning” as Harry pulled him close and exhaled audibly. He put one arm around the boy too.

“I’m glad that you decided to stay here, my little student,” Harry smirked and observed Louis’ face.

Louis slapped his chest playfully. “Don’t say that again!”

Harry chuckled. “Why shouldn’t I? You are my little . . .” Harry tried to say it again but Louis wouldn’t let him because he covered his mouth with both of his hands but Harry took them away, kissed Louis and held both of his wrists tight. Louis kind of liked the feeling so he didn’t protest.

Harry got up, hovered over Louis and pinned both of his arms onto the mattress, still holding both of his wrists in his hands. His look was filthy and there was no nice smile on his face anymore. Louis tried to escape Harry’s grip because he felt a little embarrassed that he liked to be manhandled like this but Harry was much stronger than Louis.

“I will teach you a lot of things you didn’t even know about baby,” Harry said teasingly while he pushed the blankets away and leaned forward for a kiss. “I love you,” he said and got off Louis, just to support his weight on his left arm. Harry’s hand slowly caressed Louis’ face. Then he let his hand slide down Louis’ neck until he reached his nipples. “In fact . . .” he said, touching Louis’ nipples slightly, “you will definitely be my little filthy student, Lou.”

Louis giggled. “I will, probably.”

Then he looked deep into Harry’s eyes and leaned in for a kiss, but this time it was different. Harry’s kisses were rougher than before. Louis buried his hands into Harry’s hair and tugged at it while he pressed his body onto Harry’s. Harry let out a moan next to Louis ear and gave him a gentle lick. He left a trail of wet kisses onto the boy’s neck and nibbled gently at his soft skin. Louis let Harry’s hair go and looked at his tongue that softly circled his nipples. The boy whimpered quietly because he could already feel the tension building in his crotch and he definitely wanted to learn more.

Harry stopped for a second, looked at Louis and smirked. “You’re watching me. This is quite naughty, baby.” he cooed and smirked.

Harry kissed Louis again while he pinched the boy’s hard nipples a little. Then he moved down his tummy, pulled Louis’ boxers down and continued kissing the area around Louis’ crotch without touching his semi-hard length. Louis had never felt so needy before so he pushed his hips up almost automatically so that his penis nearly touched Harry’s mouth. Harry just smirked at him and moved his mouth away from Louis’ penis. As he was kissing the inner of Louis thighs, the boy could already feel pre-come leak. Louis was so embarrassed but Harry didn’t seem to mind. He looked Louis in the eyes and winked at him.

“So wet again,” Harry mumbled, gave Louis a few, painfully slow strokes and licked over his erection while he kept looking into Louis’ eyes. He took the boy’s tip into his wet mouth for a few seconds, blew air against Louis’ boner without touching it with his lips.

“Harry!” Louis whined and tried to push up his hips again. “Touch me? Please!” Louis whimpered because the tension grew in his lower stomach and he felt really needy but Harry shook his head.

“Be patient love, don’t hurry,” Harry said with his raspy voice while he continued kissing Louis inner thighs.

When Louis tried to touch himself, Harry pushed his hand away harshly.

“Don’t do that!” Harry said loudly.

He grabbed Louis wrist and held it tight that it nearly hurt but the boy but he liked the feeling. Harry shook his head.

“You’re such a bad boy, such a bad student.”

The man got up from down there to suck Louis nipples harder than before and it felt surprisingly good. Louis lifted his head to kiss Harry’s forehead. He grabbed Harry’s hair again and pulled it roughly what let Harry moan a little before he gave Louis a quick, harsh kiss and bit his lips gently.

“Do you want me to tease you a little more?” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear while he was blowing hot air out.

His voice combined with his breath got Louis goose-pimples all over his body. He didn’t answer but kissed him desperately while Harry pinched Louis’ nipples and let his hand run down his tummy again.

“Please Harry, please touch me now!” Louis pleaded before Harry gave him another wet, sloppy kiss as an answer.

When Harry pulled away, his hair fell down onto his forehead what made him look sexy as hell. Harry let his crotch sink lower as he started to rub it against Louis’ again. Harry supported his weight on his arms what made his muscles twist. They were so defined and his tattoos looked so good on him that Louis had to touch them and tried to get another kiss from him. But Harry just smirked at Louis and pulled his head away every time Louis thought he could reach him. Harry was still pressing his crotch against Louis but the friction Harry gave him wasn’t enough. Louis let out a little moan. He looked deep into Louis’ eyes, then he leaned in for another proper kiss.

“You’re doing so good baby,” Harry said into Louis’ mouth without breaking the kiss.

Harry moved away from Louis’ mouth. He left a wet trail of cute little kisses along Louis’ neck, chest and tummy before he stopped in his crotch area, looked at Louis’ length and gave him some strokes before he lowered his head slowly and took the hard penis into his wet, warm mouth. Louis had the feeling that he could burst when he felt Harry’s lips around him.

“Jesus!” Louis moaned, clearly enjoying these actions.

He pushed his hips up to get more friction again but Harry didn’t seem to mind. He continued to circle Louis’ tip with his tongue slowly at first, then he took the penis deeper into his mouth for a few seconds before he wrapped his hand around it too. Harry gave it a few more strokes while he was sucking and licking Louis’ throbbing length over and over again. Wet trails of saliva ran down Louis’ shaft as Harry pulled away again. The loss of touch made Louis whimper as he tried to touch his penis again.

“I promised that you would last longer but you aren’t allowed to touch yourself or move your hips,” Harry said rudely and gave Louis a rough kiss again. “Got it?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded, biting his lip.

“Got it,” he said but his words came out as a whisper.

“Good boy.” Harry smirked, caressed Louis’ cheek gently and moved away again.

Louis loved Harry’s voice but when they got intimate it changed so much in a very appealing way. He sounded even sexier than he already did.

While Harry continued to blow Louis, the boy pushed his hips up again without noticing. It happened almost automatically but in that second Harry pushed his whole body down, he grabbed both of Louis’ wrists roughly, pushed them behind his head and sat down onto the boy’s thighs that he couldn’t move anymore. Louis was so turned on by Harry’s look and his actions that he had the feeling he would come within the next seconds if Harry touched him again.

“Please Harry, I . . .  I can’t last . . . longer,“ Louis gasped between the sloppy kisses Harry gave him, squeezing Louis’ wrists harder that it almost hurt.

“You can. Don’t tell me shit Louis, you can last longer.”

Harry let go of Louis’ wrists but the boy let them rest over his head.

“That’s good baby,” Harry smirked. “Don’t you dare moving your arms again.”

Harry kissed Louis again and the boy squirmed under his body, trying to push his hips up again. The tension in his lower stomach was unbearable.

“I won’t touch you again today if you won’t stop that.” Harry said seriously and waited until Louis lied still again. Then he bowed his head close to Louis’ length. “I want you to hold it as long as you can and I will be the one who tells you when you’re allowed to come,” he whispered.

His words aroused Louis even more, his voice was so raspy and sexy, his breathing was hot and his body looked amazing.

“You look so good, so needy right now.” Harry added and let his fingertips glide over Louis’ mouth. “It would be a pity if this would be over too soon.”

Harry bit his lip and pushed his hair back. How sexy could someone be? He’s face was red, his muscles looked amazing and something in this moment encouraged Louis to become active. He got up from the mattress, put his arms around Harry’s neck and kissed him roughly too. Then he let his fingers explore his arms and his torso while he pushed Harry back onto the bed.

“Suck my nipples,” Harry suddenly ordered while he was squeezing Louis’ bum.

Louis tried to ignore his throbbing length and obeyed immediately. He loved that tone, he loved Harry, he loved _this_. He looked Harry in the eyes before he lowered his head and licked over one of Harry’s puffy nipples. Louis licked again and sucked at it gently. When he touched the other one with his fingers, Harry immediately grabbed his hair and pulled the boy towards his face.

“I told you to suck them. No licking, no teasing.” Harry pushed Louis’ head away forcefully. “Do it again and bite them too,” he demanded. Fuck. This was hot.

Louis never knew he liked being manhandled so much but that was it. The way Harry looked at Louis almost drove him crazy. While the boy was sucking Harry’s nipples, Harry let out a short moan. Louis tried to bite Harry’s nipples just as he had done it to him a few minutes ago. He was afraid that he could hurt him but it seemed the man was enjoying it. He grabbed Louis’ arms and held them tight. Harry inhaled audibly when Louis sucked and bite his nipples over and over again. The pressure on his arms felt good.

“You’re such a good boy,” Harry moaned.

He let go of Louis’ arms and grabbed his hair a bit rougher. “So, so good.”

Harry pushed his hips up to meet Louis. The boy gave him a quick kiss and moved his head towards Harry’s ear.

“What shall I do next, daddy?” Louis asked but stopped his actions in the second he realized what he had done and immediately put his hands in front of his mouth.

The words just blurted out of his mouth and he was so embarrassed.

Harry’s facial features softened all of a sudden. He looked directly at Louis what made him flush furiously.

“Sorry . . . I don’t know why I said that,” Louis stammered.

Harry got up, cupped the boy’s face in the palms of his hands and gave him a kiss onto his cheek.

“If you want me to be your daddy, I will be your daddy, baby. It’s fine. So do you want daddy to tell you what to do next? Is this what you want?” Harry purred quietly into Louis’ ear. Louis nodded and bit his lip.

“Daddy wants you to touch him down there again, would you like to do that again?” Harry asked and gave Louis a cute little kiss.

Louis wanted to touch Harry so bad but he was nervous because of his lack of experience. He had touched himself before but never another man.

“Don’t be afraid. You can’t do anything wrong,” Harry whispered softly as he noticed Louis’ insecurity and gave him another kiss on his mouth. Then he pressed his head close to Louis’ forehead. “Do you want me to help you?”

Louis nodded.

“You can wrap your hand around it like this, look.” Harry whispered and showed Louis. “And then you just move it. You can do it baby, you can’t do anything wrong, trust me. I’m sure I’ll love every single touch of yours, okay?”

Louis tried to give Harry a few, light strokes through the soft fabric of his pants. Harry seemed to like it because he closed his eyes. “Feels good,” he said. “Don’t stop.”

His eyelids fluttered and his lashes looked so cute. Louis continued to move his hand and after a while he tried to push down Harry’s boxers. He grabbed Louis’ arm to stop him.

“Did I tell you to push down my boxers?” he asked.

“No,” Louis said quietly but Harry’s look showed he wasn’t pleased. “It’s no daddy,” he corrected Louis and got up to give the boy a rough and sloppy kiss.

“No daddy,” Louis corrected his sentence. “Sorry.”

Harry looked him in the eyes. “I think you shouldn’t come too soon next time,” Harry said, kissed Louis againand gave him a few, teasing strokes before he pulled away his hand again.

Louis whimpered but Harry didn’t touch him further. “Do you like when daddy does these things to you?” Harry asked while he nibbled at Louis’ earlobe. “Do you like daddy teasing you like that, hm?” Harry breathed provocatively and sucked the skin on Louis’ neck that it nearly hurt.

“Yes daddy very much,” Louis nearly moaned as Harry took his penis into his mouth but pulled away again. Louis whimpered at the loss of contact.

“That’s what happens when you don’t do what daddy tells you to,” Harry said and propped his weight up on his elbows. “Touch me through my pants again.”

Louis wrapped his hand around Harry’s penis that was bigger than before. He started to touch it gently but wasn’t sure if Harry liked it. After a while he tried to pump a little faster but his movements were irregular, not as smooth as Harry’s. Louis took his hands away for a second. When he touched Harry again, he moaned.

“Are you teasing me?” Harry asked and grabbed Louis arm. “Squeeze it a little harder Lou, just a little.”

Louis tried his best and soon he felt how Harry got harder under his touch. His breathing increased and he clenched his fists while gripping the sheets with his left hand.

“You’re doing good baby. Find a steady rhythm and . . . move your hand faster, okay?” His words almost came out as a whimper.

Louis tried to get a steady rhythm what made Harry squirm. “Fuck! You make daddy feel so good!” he panted and looked at Louis.

His face was read, his body sweaty and his pupils were dilated. “Take the boxers off and make daddy come with your hands.”

Louis did so and started to stroke him faster and faster. Harry stopped him.

“Don’t pull that much, love.” Harry said and kissed Louis gently. “It feels a little uncomfortable.”

Louis was embarrassed and flushed. “Sorry, I . . .”

Harry cupped his head into his hands. “Hey, don’t be sorry. You’re doing great. I’m just trying to help.”

Louis tried again. He let his hand slide up and down Harry’s hard length but it seemed like it wasn’t enough for Harry. He got up, pulled Louis close and gave him a rough, sloppy kiss.

“Move your hand faster baby!” he moaned into Louis’ mouth.

Louis obeyed. He increased the speed what let Harry pant loudly. Louis gave his best to please Harry so he continued to pump his hand up and down Harry’s length, as fast as it was possible. Louis grip tightened and his strokes got faster so that Harry’s breathing increased again. He moaned and panted when his body started tremble slightly. Harry shut his eyes tight and pressed his lips together when he came.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear and pulled the boy close.

Louis buried his head into Harry’s chest. “I’m sorry . . . I haven’t done that before and . . . “

“Don’t be sorry love, you did very well,” Harry tried to calm Louis and kissed his temple gently. “I love you. I really enjoyed it and we’ll practise a lot, I promise.”

Louis kissed Harry’s chest and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m so happy to be here with you,” he mumbled.

Harry pulled him closer to his hot body and scratched Louis’ scalp gently.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to be my little student in private?” Harry asked Louis after a while.

“Well . . . maybe it would be a nice idea,” Louis chuckled and gave Harry a kiss.

 

They laid in bed for a long time. Harry’s steady breathing calmed Louis a lot so he fell asleep soon. They woke up around noon, stayed in bed for the whole afternoon and talked about random things. In the evening Harry ordered pizza again. They spend the whole evening on the couch and watched silly TV shows. It was such a nice, couply day and Louis has never been happier. He could forget about all his problems when he was with Harry and nobody in this world could take that away from him.

 

When Louis came into the bedroom at night, Harry was leaning against the bedframe. “Come here,” he said and patted the space between his legs. Louis went there and leaned his back against Harry’s chest. Louis felt so good when Harry wrapped one arm around Louis’ torso, pulled him closer and kissed his neck softly. Louis let his head rest on Harry’s shoulder.

“Daddy wants to make you feel good again,” he whispered into Louis’ ear.

Louis turned his head and kissed Harry desperately. His tone and his voice were sending shivers down his spine. Harry sucked onto Louis neck a little bit more and played with his semi-hard nipples. Then he let his hand slide down his body until he reached the waistband of his boxers. Louis’ bulge was definitely there although Harry hadn’t even touched him longer than a few seconds. Harry let his hand slide over Louis small erection a few times, licked over Louis’ outer ear and let his hot breath brush against it. “You’re always so good, so ready for daddy.”

Louis couldn’t get enough of Harry’s voice. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the tickling in his stomach when Harry started to wrap his hand around his penis. Louis placed a small kiss onto Harry’s neck, rested his head there and inhaled Harry’s smell. Harry was about to stroke Louis slowly at first but soon he tightened his grip and moved his hand faster up and down his shaft. Here and there he rubbed his thumb over the wet and sensitive tip to spread the wetness all over it. When Louis’ breathing increased, Harry stopped touching the boy.

“Don’t stop, daddy, please!” Louis panted and tried to put Harry’s hand back.

“I won’t,” Harry answered. “Can you be a good boy and take off your boxers for daddy?”

Louis did that and leaned back onto Harry’s chest. The man gave him a kiss on his temple. “Good boy,” Harry whispered and wrapped one hand around Louis’ torso again to hold him close. The other hand went down to Louis’ penis again where he teased Louis by only touching his tip at first. Louis whimpered silently against Harry’s neck, his breathing felt hot against Harry’s skin. The man kissed Louis’ forehead and gave Louis a few strokes until he stopped again. He held his hand in front of Louis’ mouth.

“Spit on it,” Harry demanded.

Louis looked at him confused what made Harry smile. He placed a cute kiss onto Louis’ temple again. “It’s better with more moisture so would you . . .”

Louis spat into Harry’s hand a few times. This was so dirty, wasn’t it? Louis leaned back again, closed his eyes and enjoyed every touch Harry gave him. It didn’t take long until Harry increased the speed of his pumping what made Louis squirm under his touch permanently. His breathing increased as the tension in his crotch and lower stomach grew steady and let Louis moan loudly. Harry’s touch felt so good and his arousal got to an incredible point where Louis just couldn’t hold it back anymore. Louis’ legs were shaking as he orgasmed hard and uncontrolled over Harry’s hand that the sensation of it made him scream as he came this time. After Louis came down from his high, he felt himself getting soft in Harry’s hands again.

“Thank you so much,” Louis said to Harry and pulled his head closer for a kiss.

“You’re very welcome love, whenever you want.”

 

 


	75. a well-intentioned surprise

The next morning Louis got a tremendous fright because of Harry’s alarm that went off way too early.

“Oh Harry, why?!” Louis groaned and turned around towards him.

Harry caressed Louis cheek with his thumb. “Because I got a surprise for you today,” he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Louis’ cheek and got up while Louis was nuzzling deeper into the warm covers. “Come on Lou! Get up!” Harry yelled jokingly and tried to pull the covers away.

Louis managed to keep them wrapped around his body. “Okay, okay, you won this time. I’ll have a shower first,” Harry said and went out of the room. When he came back Louis couldn’t help but stare at his perfect body. He had a white towel wrapped around his waist which was a nice contrast to his tattoos. Harry smiled at Louis and pushed his wet hair back slowly what made him look even sexier than he already did.

Harry and Louis left the house around nine. They drove towards the motorway Louis remembered from their first trip to the woods. Louis had no idea where they were going and Harry refused to tell him. “It’s a surprise,” he said, put his hand on Louis’ thigh and squeezed it gently. While Harry was concentrating on the road again, Louis looked out of the window. It was a sunny but very cold day at the beginning of December. The trees and fields were covered with a thin layer of ripe and snow. Grey fog was soaring up in the air. Louis loved that kind of weather because everything seemed so quiet and peaceful.

Harry parked his car onto a small parking lot next to the piers of Runcorn. “I have a friend here who owns a really nice café next to the piers over there,” Harry said and pointed into a certain direction. “It’s one of the nicest little cafés I’ve ever been to and I wanted to have breakfast with you at this place. That’s why we got up so early, love,” Harry explained.

When Louis got out of the car he shivered. The wind blew stronger at the coast and the clouds were getting darker from minute to minute. He zipped up his jacket, put his grey beanie on and wrapped a thick scarf around his neck.

“Wow, you look like a model.” Louis said to Harry as he watched him walking around his car and he really did.

“You’re exaggerating, baby,” Harry smiled.

Louis shook his head. “I’m not. Look at you, you look so pretty . . .” the boy insisted. He really thought Harry looked incredible beautiful with his long black coat in combination with the grey scarf he had wrapped around his neck and the blue beanie on his head.

“Well then . . . thank you very much.” Harry gave Louis a kiss.

After Harry had locked the car he reached out for Louis’ hand. Louis put his hand in Harry’s without thinking. Their fingers interlocked immediately and Louis gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. While they were walking towards the piers, Louis couldn’t stop smiling because he was so proud to call Harry his boyfriend and it felt so good to hold his hand but suddenly he pulled his hand away and put it into the pocket of his jacket, staring at the ground.

“Lou, what’s wrong?” Harry asked surprised and stopped walking.

“I was just thinking about . . . you know, about the people,” Louis sighted. “I mean . . . what would they say if . . . if they saw us holding hands?”

“To be honest . . . I don’t care what people think because you’re my boyfriend and I love you. But if you don’t feel comfortable we don’t have to hold hands in public, I’m totally fine with it,” Harry said softly and pulled Louis close for a second.

“Sorry,” Louis mumbled timidly.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Harry added “I can understand your doubts, don’t worry.”

As an answer, Louis gave Harry a quick kiss onto the cheek. Then they continued their way along the road until Harry stopped in front of a little café with huge white windows. The café was located in a residential area next to the River Mersey that was partly covered with a thin layer of ice. The interior looked like a combination of ancient and modern styles. The atmosphere was very cosy and Louis already liked the café. The room seemed to be low and there were a few chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. A huge fireplace was lit on the right what immediately reminded Louis of Harry’s flat where he had spent so many happy hours.

A waitress led Harry and Louis directly to the back of the room. There was a comfy little niche for about four or five people that couldn’t be seen from the front because it was hidden.

“This is the best place in here,” Harry said and gave Louis a sign to sit down onto the small brown sofa in the corner.

“I really like it here,” he remarked. “It’s beautiful.”

Harry smiled at the boy and stroked his shoulder gently. “I’m happy about that.”

Harry and Louis ordered a huge breakfast for themselves. It was so nice to be out with Harry, especially because they were in a public place where nobody knew them. It felt so special for Louis, so real and not awkward at all. They talked about random things, laughed about jokes and had a good time together.

“Oh Lou, I hope you won’t mind if my friend will join us later?” Harry asked while he took a sip of his tea.

Louis nodded. “Of course I won’t mind. He’s the owner, isn’t he?”

“He is and I bet you will like him. He’s got a good sense of humor and is very smart.”

After some minutes, Louis went to the toilet. On his way back he noticed Harry wasn’t alone anymore. There was a man sitting next to him, probably his friend he had talked about before Louis got off the table. Louis was too far away to understand what they were talking about but he could catch a few scraps of their conversation. Something was strange. The gestures in combination with the sound of the man’s voice seemed so familiar but Louis couldn’t tell why.

Just when he was about to walk toward the table again, he froze. His pulse quickened, his stomach turned and a cold shiver ran through Louis’ body. How was that possible? Louis rubbed his eyes but the picture in front of him wouldn’t go away. What he saw was definitely too much for the boy to cope with. All he wanted was to run away from this place as fast as he could. Just when Louis was about to turn around, he thought that Harry glanced briefly at him but he wasn’t sure.

It was very cold outside but Louis didn’t feel it because the adrenaline was pumping through his body. The boy didn’t think. He just ran back to the parking lot as fast as he could. There was a small area with trees next to it where he sat down on a wooden bench to catch his breath. Was the man really who Louis thought he was? What if he was wrong? But what if he wasn’t? Louis was confused. He just didn’t know what to think, feel or do.

While Louis was sitting there in the cold, the weather got worse. Thick clouds were floating in the sky that got darker and darker from minute to minute. The wind blew stronger and whistled through the branches of the trees. Louis suddenly felt how cold it really was. He pulled his legs closer to his body and wrapped his arms around them. His life was a mess. He just put his head onto his knees and stared into the dark. His body was shivering enormously and his teeth chattered and Louis couldn’t control it.

To cap it all it started to snow heavily after a few minutes. Louis rubbed the palms of his hands together and breathed against them to warm himself a bit but it was effortless. It didn’t take long until Louis’ trousers were wet, his back felt wet, everything was wet and cold and dank. But Louis just couldn’t go back to the café. He couldn’t.The boy sneezed a few times and dropped down on the bench again, trying to ignore the cold although it was nearly impossible. Louis’ limbs limbs were almost numb from the cold as he was close to tears. He didn’t remember how long he was lying there until he noticed someone calling his name. It was Harry.

“Louis, are you here?” he yelled and looked around the place.

Louis didn’t answer right away because he wanted to make sure Harry was alone. Then he got up from the bench and walked towards him. He was sobbing bitterly.

“Louis!” Harry yelled when he saw him. The man ran towards him and wrapped his arms around his shivering boy. “Baby, what are you doing here? You’re totally wet! You must be freezing!” Harry said worried, took off his coat and put it around Louis’ shoulders. Then he took off his scarf too and wrapped it around the boy’s neck but it was too late. Louis was already soaked to the skin. “Why did you run away? I was so worried when you didn’t come back!”

Although Louis was wearing Harry’s clothes too, he couldn’t feel anything. It was too cold out there, too cold. Tears were still streaming down Louis’ face as he pushed Harry away.

“Do you have any idea who that man is? Do you know who he is?” Louis yelled at Harry. He was enraged and waved his arms in the air. Harry stared at Louis, clearly confused.

“Louis . . . I . . . It’s my friend, I met him about a month ago and . . .”

Louis cried, shook his head and continued yelling at Harry: “Do you want to know who he really is? He’s not your fucking friend Harry!” Louis sobbed bitterly and exhaled loudly before he literally screaed into Harry’s face. “He’s my father Harry!” Louis’ voice cracked at the end of the sentence. He was desperate. Tears of anger and sadness streamed down his face as Louis covered it with the palms of his hands.

Harry looked at Louis in shock. He didn’t know what to say but wanted to hug his boy but he didn’t let Harry come closer. Instead of hugging him, Louis pushed him away. “Stay away from me!” Louis cried.

“He’s your father?” Harry asked disbelieving. “I . . . I didn’t know that, I mean how . . .”

Louis nodded while he rubbed his eyes that were bloodshot from crying.

The wind was blowing strongly and small snowflakes were falling from the cloudy sky. Harry reached out his hand for Louis again. The boy hesitated at first but then he finally put his into Harry’s. “Let’s go back to him. I’m sure he misses you as much as you do,” Harry said softly.

Louis didn’t answer and Harry led him to the car where the man took a dry jumper out of his boot and handed it to Louis. The boy changed in the car. Then they walked back to the café. Before they reached it, Louis suddenly stopped walking. “Harry, I can’t go inside like this,” Louis pointed at his face.

“It’s dark inside and you don’t look that bad,” Harry answered with a smile and wiped away a tear from Louis’ cheek. “It’s never wrong to show feelings,” he said and gave Louis a small kiss. The boy just nodded.

Louis was very nervous when he followed Harry back to their table. He had no idea what he should say to his dad and he was afraid of what would happen. When Louis saw him, he felt he was close to tears again. He was sad, angry, confused and he felt empty all at once. His dad got up from his seat and walked towards Louis.

“Louis . . . what . . . what are you doing here?” he said surprised and covered his mouth with his hands. “I have missed you so much!” he said and reached his arms out for a hug. Louis refused at first and flinched. He couldn’t hug his dad because the pain in his chest was too strong. He didn’t care where he was when the words just tumbled out of his mouth.

“Do you know what you have done to my family? Do you have any idea what we’ve been through because of you?” Louis yelled at him. “Why haven’t you answered my calls? Why? Where have you been all the time?” Louis nearly cried again.

It was so hard for Louis to control the tears that were burning in the corner of his eyes and ran down his face. He just couldn’t control himself anymore as he ran out of the café for the second time this day and sat down onto a dirty brick wall a few meters away where he buried his face into the palms of his hands and cried like a child.

“Do you want to leave, baby?”

Louis startled. He hadn’t noticed Harry standing next to him. Louis leaned against his boyfriend who slowly caressed the boy’s back.

“I . . . I can’t talk with him. . . I can’t,” the boy sobbed.

“It’s fine, just wait right here. I’m going to tell him and we can leave then.” Harry went inside again but came back after a few minutes.

Louis was glad that Harry didn’t ask stupid questions. He just took Louis’ hand and led him to the car. While Harry was driving, the man put his hand on Louis’ thigh and squeezed it gently. The boy remained silent during the whole drive. He just stared out of the window until they reached Harry’s house. The pain was burning heavily in Louis’ chest.

At home, Harry ran Louis a hot bath and poured in some mountain pine bath salt. While Louis sat in the tub, Harry made fresh hot tea for his boyfriend.

“I hope the bath will relax you a little,” Harry said and gave Louis a small kiss.

The boy opened his eyes and reached for Harry’s hand. “Sorry for yelling at you,” Louis said timidly. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Don’t worry, I know you didn’t.” Harry smiled at him. “You were overwhelmed and hurt. And I do understand your reaction, there’s nothing wrong about it.”

Louis bit his lip. “Thanks.”

Harry gave him a small smile and went out of the bathroom. After Louis had finished, Harry wrapped Louis into his favorite blanket in the living room. He put the tray with the tea onto the table in the living room and handed one cup to Louis. Then he had a quick shower too before he sat down next to the boy again. Louis was staring out of the window, with nothing but emptiness in his heart. He scooted closer to Harry, laid his head onto his broad chest and Harry put his arms around Louis. They stayed like this for a long time, until Harry started talking.

“He never told me that he had children,” Harry said thoughtfully.

Louis got up from Harry’s chest and sat down next to him. “Maybe he was trying to forget about us. He didn’t call us. He didn’t answer our messages, nothing. I don’t know what to think of him,” Louis said sadly. “I’m so disappointed because you know . . . when I saw him I was angry and sad, but on the other hand . . . I . . . I’ve realized how much I have missed him all the time and how much I miss him right now.” Louis bowed his head.

 “What about if I’d invite him so you two could talk? I could go over to Laura so you would be on your own. What do you think about that? Maybe there’s a reason why he didn’t tell you or something.”

“I’m afraid,” Louis admitted quietly.

“But if you don’t try you will never know. And I really like him, Lou. He’s a great guy, I’m sure there must be a reason for his behavior.” Harry paused and looked questioning at Louis. „What do you say?”

Louis stared out of the window for a while. Then he let out a sight and nodded. “Okay, maybe you’re right.” He hugged Harry and gave him a kiss onto his cheek. “Thank you for caring about me.”

Harry smiled and ruffled through Louis’ hair. “Always. There’s no school tomorrow so you could stay here for one more day?” Harry asked.

“What?” Louis wasn’t informed about the day off.

“I told you but you weren’t listening probably,” Harry laughed and shook his head.

“Maybe you were distracting me, that’s why,” Louis said and shook his shoulders.

Harry gave him a playful push what made Louis giggle. He got off the sofa and called Louis’ dad to arrange the meeting. While Harry was talking to Louis’ dad, the boy sent a message to his mum. He wanted her to know that he was staying another night with Harry. Jay didn’t answer at all.

“Where have you met him?” Louis asked Harry when they lied in bed in the evening.

“I met him at a gay bar in Runcorn,” Harry answered.

Louis looked into Harry’s eyes, trying to catch the joke. “You’re joking, aren’t you?” Louis couldn’t believe what Harry had just said. “Why would my dad go there?”

”It’s true. I was there with some friends and he sat there on his own. So we started talking to him,” Harry explained. “We got along quite well and since then we have met a few times to play golf and stuff.”

While Harry was telling Louis more about this evening, Louis fell asleep next to him.

 


	76. Dad

Harry invited Louis’ father after lunch. Louis was so nervous about the meeting that he felt like vomiting. When the doorbell rang, Louis escaped to the toilet but soon he realized how childish his behavior was. When he stepped into the living room his dad was sitting at the table with Harry. When Louis saw him, something in his head snapped. He didn’t want to yell or cry. He didn’t want to act childish at all but his feelings took control over him when his dad got up and walked towards his son.

“How can you be so cruel? Why did you leave? Where have you been? Why? Why didn’t you try to call me? Why didn’t you answer my messages?” Louis yelled at him.

His dad’s eyes looked sad as he came closer and pulled his angry son into a hug. This time Louis didn’t push his dad away but banged his fists against his father’s chest. “I hate you!” Louis yelled and started to cry bitterly. After a few seconds Louis gave up and let his dad hug him tightly.

“Why?” he cried into his chest silently. “Why have you done this to me?”

His dad still held the boy close. When Louis pulled away, the man led him to the table where Louis sat down next to Harry. His cheeks were stained with tears, his hands still shaking.

“Shall I leave you alone?” Harry asked quietly.

Louis grabbed Harry’s arm. “No Harry, please stay,” he said, his voice thick with tears. “Don’t go.”

Troy nodded. “It’s fine. I have nothing against it.”

It was strange for Louis to sit opposite his dad again after such a long period of time. He had nearly forgotten how he looked like or how his voice sounded. His dad seemed to be nervous as he was trying to find the right words.

“Louis, I don’t know where to start but I want to tell you everything that happened and you can ask me anything you want.”

Louis nodded. He wiped away the tears with his trembling hands while too much adrenaline was pumping through his veins. “Okay.” His voice was barely audible.

“First of all I want you to know that I have been thinking about you and your sisters every day.” Troy bowed his head. “I have missed you so much, so much.”

“If this was true, you would have answered our calls!” Louis nearly yelled at him again. Harry put his hand onto Louis’ thigh under the table to calm him.

“I know it might sound wrong to you but the whole story is quite complicated. I think I should start at the beginning.”

 


	77. Revealing the truth

“You know, I had my company for many years. Business was doing well at first but during the last two years things changed dramatically. We didn’t get enough orders and in the end I had to make many of my workers redundant. We tried so hard to get our success back but it didn’t work. The company was broke, my savings were almost gone and I felt like a total failure.” Louis’ dad paused and took as sip of his tea. “The company was broke and I needed money to save it. The only possibility I saw back then was to sell the house.”

“So you sold the house just to get your company back? And you didn’t care about us? What are you, a fucking egoist?” Louis yelled at him and hit the tabletop with his fist.

Louis’ dad shook his head and touched Louis’ arm across the table. “Please Louis, listen to me.” He stroked his face with the palms of his hands and rubbed his eyes. “I had no other choice,” he said and let out a sigh. Then he looked at his son. “What I will tell you now is a secret Louis. Well, at least I kept it a secret. I haven’t told this to anybody yet, even your mum doesn’t know.”

Harry took Louis’ hand in his under the table and rubbed tiny circles onto the back of his it gently. Louis needed Harry’s touch and he was so glad that he was with him.

“I had a co-owner back then. He found out about something that should have been kept private and blackmailed me because of that. If I wouldn’t have sold my house to get the company saved, he would have ruined my reputation in Doncaster and my family too.” Troy folded his hands. “He was shifty Louis, I wasn’t aware of it from the beginning. He did nasty things to me, bad things.” Troy sighted. “Please don’t make me talk about it now.”

Louis glared at him. “So that’s your damn excuse for selling the house and leaving us? That you co-owner blackmailed you? Why didn’t you call the police then? Or told us about it at least?”

His father took a deep breath. “Louis, please don’t judge me. It’s very difficult for me to tell you all this . . .”

“I don’t care, you know? I’ve suffered so much and I want to know the truth already!” Louis remarked dryly.

Troy exhaled loudly. “Okay, Louis, I will tell you. Do you remember our trip to London last year? I told your mum I had a terrible headache so I took a walk on my own.”

Louis nodded and Harry put his hand onto Louis’ thigh again.

“To be honest, it was a lie. I wanted to be on my own, that’s why I went out.” He sighted heavily again. “I always knew there was something deep inside of me I couldn’t quite understand, something that was on my mind for a long time but I never wanted it to be true. I thought it was just imagination, something that wasn’t real but then . . . Louis, then I met someone during this trip and that was the proof it wasn’t just imagination . . .” His voice got quiet.

Was he serious? Louis got off his chair, pushed it back and yelled at his father. “Are you telling me that you cheated on mum during your holidays? What kind of whore was that?” Louis was shocked by the words that he blurted out but he had no control over them. This story got worse every minute and Louis didn’t know if he could handle it well. The boy got up, went over to his father and started to hit his arm with his fists. “Louis, listen!” Troy tried to hold Louis’ wrists so that he couldn’t hit him anymore.

“Louis, please stop that. It’s not what you think,” his father said. “Please let me explain it.” Troy waited until his son had calmed down, then he let go of his wrists. His father pushed him down onto the chair next to him where Louis stayed to his surprise. “Louis,” the man said seriously and looked him in the eyes. “It wasn’t a woman. It was a man.”

Louis stared at him disbelieving. “What?” he asked barely audible, his throat was dry and almost hurt.

“I . . . I don’t know why but . . . this feeling . . . I tried to forget about it all the time but it didn’t go away and . . . and then I met him. Louis, I met him and I knew this was what I had missed my whole life.” Troy buried his hands in his hair. “Of course I had a guilty conscience but I couldn’t do anything about my feelings although I tried to ignore them at first. Your mum wouldn’t understand although I’ve tried several times to tell her how I felt, even before I met him.” Troy paused. “She never took it seriously, she never took me seriously and she never tried to understand what I wanted her to know.”

Louis was shocked. He couldn’t say anything because his throat felt almost constricted.

“Your mum didn’t want to believe me, no matter how often I tried to tell her about my feelings and insecurities. She thought the only reason why I had these so called fantasies were the result of overworking myself. She thought I just needed to slow down. Her opinion was that our marriage, you and your sisters were proof enough I was just fantasizing about something I wasn’t really feeling. I’m sure she tried to talk herself into thinking that the things I told her weren’t true. Homosexuality happened to others, not to our family.”

Louis’ father was close to tears and for the first time during this afternoon, Louis felt something like sympathy and pity for him.

“I was happy every time I was with him but on the other hand I felt so bad for cheating on you, your sisters and especially your mum. I knew it wasn’t right but . . . I just couldn’t leave him. Then we got problems with the company and my co-owner found out about my secret because I didn’t pay attention once I was on the phone.” He sighted heavily. “I’m gay, Louis. I always thought it wasn’t true but it is.”

Louis still wasn’t able to answer or ask him something. He felt almost paralyzed by his story.

“I’ve missed you so much and I still miss you all but I’m afraid to tell them the whole story. Your mum wouldn’t believe me, your sisters will probably hate me and you . . . you already do so I don’t think I’ll have a possibility to clear everything up.” He shook his head. “This was and still is a heavy burden Louis, a nightmare I can’t wake up from. When I decided to leave I gave my co-worker most of the money to protect my family and tried to get a new start, away from Doncaster. If I wouldn’t have given him the money he would have told everyone that I was gay what could have ruined us completely and I couldn’t live with the thought that I could be responsible for something he would do to my family so I decided not to risk it. I was forced to go.”

“Why haven’t you tried to tell us?” Louis asked him in a normal tone. He somehow didn’t feel that angry anymore.

“I was too afraid of your reaction,” Troy said. His voice trembled slightly.

Louis gave him a long hug. “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he whispered into his dad’s ear. “I didn’t mean it.”

Troy cried silently and held his son close as long as he allowed it. When he pulled back Louis hadn’t noticed that Harry had left the table. “Dad I . . . I have to tell you something too,” Louis said seriously.

“Do you remember my girlfriends?”

“I do remember them, yes of course!” he said and wiped his eyes. “Are you still in touch with them?”

Louis shook his head. “No I’m not in touch with them anymore.” He cleared his throat. “Back then I thought I had to have girlfriends because all boys did have girlfriends but . . . I didn’t enjoy the relationships much.”

Troy patted his son’s shoulder and laughed. “Maybe they weren’t the right girls for you?”

Louis shook his head. “Dad, it’s not that. I’m . . .” Louis couldn’t say the word so he just moved his index finger between his dad and him.

“You’re a dad? What?” he said confused what made Louis smile a little.

“No I’m not a dad,” he smiled again. “I’m just not into girls, just like you.” Well, I like girls but I don’t want to be in a relationship with them, you know.” Louis felt his cheeks flush but Troy just smiled at his son.

“So are you and Harry . . .” he said while he pulled up his eyebrows, “in a relationship or something?”

Louis nodded and pressed his lips together. His dad squeezed Louis’ shoulder gently. “He’s a great guy Louis, I liked him the first minute I saw him. That’s great.”

Louis lifted his head and looked his dad into the eyes. “So it’s okay for you that I’m . . . gay?” The word “gay” came out like a whisper although it wasn’t Louis’ intension.

“Of course it is,” he said and gave his son a friendly nod. “Does your mum know?”

His dad’s words hit Louis like a storm. It didn’t take long until he was covered in tears again as his dad wrapped his arms around his crying son and comforted him. After Louis had calmed down a little bit, he told his father everything that had happened so far.

Harry came back after a while and sat down with them again. Louis could tell it wasn’t easy for him as well. He had known Troy as a friend, not as the dad of his boyfriend.

“Harry, thank you for everything you have done for Louis,” Troy said.

“You’re welcome,” Harry answered politely.

Louis’ dad folded his hands. “Harry, I haven’t told you the whole story and if Louis agrees, I’d like to tell it to you too because I want you to know why I left Louis and his family. I’m not an asshole who doesn’t care about his family, I’m really not,” Troy said and looked into Louis’ direction. “You’re my friend and I haven’t told you the truth, I feel so embarrassed.”

“You must have had reasons why you haven’t told me yet. Don’t worry about it,” Harry said and patted Troy’s shoulder.

“Tell him,” Louis encouraged his dad who told his story again.

“We all have to get used to the new situation I think,” Harry remarked when Troy had finished talking.

“I’m still a little confused, it’s too much for me to cope with all at once . . .” Louis said.

“I think we all feel the same. Of course it’s not easy and it wasn’t my intention for you to understand everything at once. I’m sure it will take some time but I wanted you to know the truth about my story and I wanted to be close to the people I love again.”

Harry decided to make a cake spontaneously while Troy told Louis about his journey. He told him how he tried to get his life back, how he started his little café and where he lived. After Harry put the cake into the oven, he sat down at the table again.

“While I was making the cake, I thought of a plan but I’m not sure if you will like it,” Harry suggested. “It might help te get you and your family together again.”

Troy and Louis looked at Harry with questionning faces. “Well, we definitely have to do something for both of you. First I’d like you to get your family back and second I don’t want Louis to be thrown out of his home after school.”

Troy looked confused. “Who said that?”

Louis bowed his head. “Mum did,” he said barely audible and picked on the skin around his fingernails.

“You aren’t serious. She said that? Why?”

“Because I lied to her, because I’m gay and because she found out about Harry,” Louis answered quietly.

Troy decided they should definitely discuss Harry’s idea. The plan should be realized as soon as possible.

 

When Louis came home this evening, his mum was ignoring him completely.

 


	78. Unexpected visitors

Louis went home as fast as he could the next Friday. Harry’s plan sounded so easy but Louis wasn’t sure if it would be easy at all. Would it really work out? The boy was incredibly nervous when he sat down for dinner with his family. The doorbell rang about half an hour later. The plan had started and Louis got nervous, incredibly nervous.

“Who could that be?” mum asked astonished and looked at Fizzy who shrugged her shoulders.

Louis’ pulse quickened when he opened the front door for Harry and his dad. Troy held a beautiful flower bouquet in his hands and Louis gave them a sign to come in.

“I have two reasons why I wanted you all to be here tonight,” Louis said and gave Harry and his dad a sign to step into the living room.

There was no time for his mum and sisters to process Louis’ words. Harry was the first who stepped in, followed by Troy. Louis had never experienced such a silence in the house. You could practically hear a pin drop until his sisters realized who was standing in front of them. They started screaming and yelling, ran towards their dad and wrapped their arms around him. Troy hugged all girls at once while they gave him more hugs and kisses. He was close to tears as he nearly got knocked over by the girls.

Jay was in shock. Her face turned from pink to white while she covered her mouth with her hands. Louis stood next to Harry who stayed quiet.

“What are you doing here?” Jay asked, emphazising the word “you”. She didn’t know who to look at first. Troy walked over to the chest of drawers where he had put the flowers. “These are for you, Jay.” He handed them to Jay. She took the bouquet out of his hands and stared at him without saying anything.

“I know it’s late but . . . Jay, I just want you to know that I’m sorry.” Troy said quietly. “For everything.”

As Louis’ mum wouldn’t react, Fizzy took the flowers out of her hands. She gave the girls a sign to follow her out of the room.

“We need to talk,” Troy said seriously and touched Jay’s arm slightly. “I . . . I need to talk with you because . . . I’ve missed you all so much and I want to have my family back.”

Jay pulled her arm away. “All of a sudden? Do you think this is a game?” Louis’ mum almost yelled at Louis’ dad while tears were streaming down her pale face.

“Please mum, please listen to him!” Louis begged. He put his arm around her shoulders and let her to the sofa where she sat down almost automatically. Harry and his dad followed.

“Jay, I know you’ve struggled a lot during the last months. Louis told me how difficult it was for you and the kids. Thank you for taking care of our children when I wasn’t around,” he said and put his hand onto her knee. He sighted. “I really want to tell you why I left and I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

Jay sat there, obviously still shocked but she listened to him at least. Troy told her everything. He told her why he left, he told her about the blackmailing, he told her about the trip to London and he told her that he found a friend in Harry. “He’s a lovely guy, Jay. I wouldn’t be here without him.”

Suddenly, Jay started crying. Troy tried to touch her knee again but she wouldn’t let him. “Stop it, Troy, please,” she covered her face with her hands.

“I know it’s difficult to understand everything right now, Jay. But I want you to know that no matter what happened, I have missed you so much and it wasn’t my intention to hurt you or the kids.”

Jay signaled her refusal and interrupted him loudly. “Tell me one thing. How is it possible to have a family for years, to have children and then all of a sudden you discovered you were gay?”

“I thought it was normal to love a woman and to have a family but when I met him everything changed. It became clear to me that there was something I was missing all the time. I can’t explain it to you, it’s just a feeling you can’t fight and I’m sorry about it!” Louis’ dad shouted desperately. “Please Jay, you have to believe me!”

There was a pause. Then Jay pointed at Harry. “And he’s your . . . boyfriend or what?” she asked hesistantly but Troy shook his head.

“No, he’s not. He’s here because of something else.”

Jay turned toward Louis’ dad. “Do you know what I have been through? I had to manage everything on my own while you were doing whatever you wanted with a random guy! Have you any idea of how I feel?” Jay was very upset. Louis put an arm around her shoulders and surprisingly she leaned her head onto Louis’ shoulders. He was glad that she allowed him to be close to her again.

“Jay,” Troy said. “Please try to understand what I’ve done. It wasn’t easy for me, it wasn’t and it’s still not easy. But I’m here now and I want to do everything to help you and our kids as much as I can. I’ve always tried to get in touch with you, but you never answered,” Troy added.

“What?” Louis asked loudly and pulled away his arm.

“Yes Louis, I tried to call your mum but she didn’t answer her phone. Don’t you know about that?”

Louis glared at his mum who was wiping her eyes. “I didn’t tell you because I was hurt and I didn’t want to talk or think about him at all,” she admitted with a teary voice.

Louis scooted away from her. “How could you do that to me?” Louis yelled at her. “You knew how much we missed dad and you didn’t tell us that he tried to stay in touch? How long did you think you would be able to keep this a secret?” Louis could feel his face was red of anger as he was standing in front of his mum, waving his hands in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Troy looked at Louis, then he touched Jay’s knee again. “We both made mistakes but I made the worst. Jay, all I want is to have my family back.”

Harry was sitting next to Troy and he clearly felt uncomfortable. Jay was stressed out because of her husband and in this moment, Louis wasn’t sure anymore if it was a good idea to bring Harry here. He smiled at him weakly and he smiled back. Louis’ dad was still touching his wife’s knee while she tried to dry her teary eyes. “I don’t know how to handle all this.”

“‘Please forgive me and let me see my children again,” Troy begged.

“I’m not sure about that Troy. I need time, I need space. I can’t forgive you right now.” Her voice sounded emotionless. “Please go now,” she said while she was staring at the wall.

“Okay. But I’ll leave my business card on the table in case if you change your mind.” Troy got up, hugged Louis and Harry and said goodbye to Louis’ sisters.

When he had left, Jay turned towards Louis. “Now tell me, why is he here?” she hissed spitefully and glared at Harry.

Louis felt so sorry for his boyfriend. “It was dad’s idea to bring him here because they’re friends. He wanted you to get to know Harry, just as I want you to. You have been nothing but rude and disrespectful to him, you’ve been judging him since you’ve met him for the first time but you have never even tried to have a normal conversation with him because if you would have allowed that to your egoistic self you would know what a wonderful, nice, lovely and caring person he is! But you know nothing about him, nothing!” Louis yelled at his mum.

Jay just sat there in silence when Harry got up from the sofa. “I know that our encounters haven’t been the best ones, Mrs. Tomlinson,” Harry said with a low voice. “But I want you to know that I really appreciate your son. He’s such a kind young man, he has a good heart and he’s very smart. You should be proud of him, very proud.”

Louis was so proud of Harry too. He was still nice although he had been under her attack the whole time. When she looked at Louis, the boy could see she was struggling for the first time.

“You can ask me anything Mrs. Tomlinson. Anything you want. I just need to make sure that you know who I really am.” Harry’s voice was almost calming and Louis hoped that it would have the same effect on his mum. “You don’t have to worry about Louis when he’s with me, that’s all I want you to know.”

Jay shook her head, supporting it with her hands. She ran her fingers through her hair nervously. Louis could see she was close to tears while Harry was talking. It didn’t take long until they fell from her eyes. She put her hands away and looked at Harry first. Then she turned towards Louis.

“What are you trying to tell me?” she sobbed. Her voice was so quiet, she sounded desperate but also helpless so that Louis almost felt sorry for her.

“I’ve already told you,” Louis said quietly. “But you didn’t want to face it and I still think you don’t.”

More tears were running down her face as she was trying to talk. Her voice was trembling. “What do you expect me to do now? I lost my husband to a man and he took my son away from me!” she cried and pointed at Harry. “I can’t handle this anymore, Louis!”

The boy tried to hold her again but this time she wouldn’t let him. Harry looked at Louis and gave him a small sign. “I think I should leave,” Harry nearly whispered and walked towards the door. Louis’ mum didn’t react at all but Louis walked him to the door.

Before Harry left, he gave Louis a soft kiss. “Just give her some time. I love you.”

When Harry left Louis went back to his mum. He tried to put his arm around her shoulders again and this time she wouldn’t flinch. “Mum, please listen to me. I know you don’t like to hear that but . . . as much as you want it, I can’t be with girls,” Louis paused. “And nothing can change that, nothing. It’s difficult for me too and I’ve suffered a lot but you and I, we both have to face the truth. I’m gay and it’s a fact. I can understand that you’re sad about dad and maybe about me but I love Harry very much mum. He makes me happy, he makes me laugh and I feel so good when he’s around me. I . . . I never had that . . . with a girl, ever.” Louis sighted while his mum was still sobbing. “I love Harry, I love him so much. And dad . . . he loves a man but isn’t his heart still the same? Isn’t mine still the same? Is this fact really a reason to hate us? Please mum, please try to understand what makes us happy and try to respect us as the people we truly are,” Louis said quietly and pulled away from her. “You should know that I still love you very much,” Louis said and caressed her back gently. Then he walked out of the living room. This was huge and he couldn’t believe that he said it.


	79. Booting out

Louis woke up with a terrible headache. It was impossible for him to fall asleep again because the pain was too strong so he went downstairs and looked for a pill. When he was about to enter the kitchen, he noticed his mum sitting in the living room. Louis filled a glass with water, put the pill into his mouth and gulped it down quickly. Then he went into the living room and sat down next to his mum. She didn’t look good at all. Her eyes were red, her face was pale. It seemed like she didn’t get enough sleep or maybe she hadn’t slept at all.

“Hi mum, how do you feel today?” Louis asked her. He knew his question was stupid but he just didn’t know what else to say.

“I don’t know what I feel,” she said emotionless. “Yesterday was too much for me.”

“Mum, I’m sorry that . . .” he tried to excuse himself about bringing Harry too but she wouldn’t let him finish speaking.

“Louis! My husband turned out to be gay after all those years! Another man took my husband away from me – and as if that wasn’t enough there’s another man who wants to take away my son from me! Do you have any idea how that feels? I always thought I’d have grandchildren someday, a lovely wife by your side but now? What is this future? What will other people say about you, about us, about our family? Why are you doing this to me?” she yelled at Louis.

“But mum . . . I . . .” Louis stammered.

His mum didn’t listen. She got up and made a gesture. “Louis William Tomlinson. You know what? Keep your excuses and your explanations. Take your things, leave the house and come back when you’ve come clean. I can’t tolerate you here. If that Harry thing is a joke, tell me now. If not, I want you to leave the house within the next hour.”

What? Louis was shocked by her words. Although they hurt so much, Louis tried to be strong on the outside. It felt like his heart was ripped away in that moment. “Are you serious?” Louis asked. His voice trembled and his hands were shaking.

“Get out!” Jay yelled and slammed her fist against the table.

Just when Louis was about to walk out of the room he turned around once more. “Mum, I’m your son! Why are you doing this to me?” Louis must have sounded very desperate because she just looked at him without saying a word. “Harry is such a nice guy! He saved my life a few weeks ago, he cares about me, he’s got a big heart and dad . . . he really wanted to apologize for his mistakes and tell you the whole story but all you did was to turn them down!”

“Stop this, just stop!” Jay yelled back at her son. “I loved my husband and my son but there’s nothing that reminds me of these two persons anymore. I told you to pack your bags and leave,” she yelled, pointin toward the door.

“You’re so cruel!” Louis yelled and walked away. When he reached his room, he saw Phoebe sitting in front of it.

“Why were you arguing with mummy?” She got up and pressed her tiny body against Louis’.

“Mum hates me,” he answered and opened the door to his room.

“Is it because of Harry?”

Louis nodded.

“But Harry is nice. Why doesn’t she like him?”

“She doesn’t like him because he’s my boyfriend.”

Phoebe pulled a questioning face. “I don’t understand that. Fizzy has a boyfriend too and mum likes Chris.”

“But I’m a boy and Harry is not a girl. But I don’t understand it either,” Louis sighted while he pulled his sister down on his lap.

“And daddy? Why did he leave? Will he come back?”

Louis kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her. “He loves us, he will come back. Maybe not today but I’m sure he will come back soon. You can call him anytime you want, he left his phone number yesterday,” Louis said and pulled out his business card. Phoebe noted down his number and left. Then Louis started packing his bags. After a while he noticed his dad had sent him a message.

“Hey Louis, I’m sorry how everything worked out. I’m sure mum will get over it. Just give her some time and she’ll change her opinion, I’m sure about that. Whenever you need something just call me. I love you, dad.”

His dad’s message was nice and Louis was happy that he had messaged him but tere was only one place Louis wanted to go and it was the only place he could go that early in the morning. Of course Harry’s phone was switched off so Louis just went to his house. Harry opened the door, wearing only black pants. His hair was messy and his eyes looked tired - Louis had apparently woken him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t . . . I didn’t know . . . where to go,” Louis stammered.

Harry smiled, came closer and pulled Louis into a warm hug. He gave Louis a cute little kiss onto his hair, took his hand and led the boy into the bedroom where Louis took off his clothes and got under the covers with Harry.

“Harry, I’m really sorry that . . .” Harry interrupted him.

“Shhh, baby, don’t talk now,” Harry said with his raspy morning voice. He spooned Louis from behind and kissed his neck gently. “It’s too early.” Louis nuzzled closer to Harry’s chest and Harry wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “Close your eyes, okay? You’re safe here, don’t need to worry.” Harry kissed Louis again and it didn’t take long until Louis was fast asleep.

When Louis woke up later he turned around and pressed his body close to Harry’s again. “I love you.” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear and gave him a cute little kiss. It felt so good to be close to him again.

Harry looked at Louis but closed his eyes again. “I love you too, baby,” he said softly and closed his eyes again.

Louis sighted and buried his face into Harry’s neck. After a while Harry caressed Louis’ cheek with his thumb. The boy opened his eyes slowly. “How are you feeling?”

Louis just looked at him for a while. Harry was so pretty with his messy hair, his bright green eyes and his wonderful curved, pink lips. “Mum kicked me out this morning,” Louis said barely audible, “and I didn’t know where to go. She told me if you were a joke I should tell her and if not I should leave her house. I didn’t want to lie about you again so I left.”

“I’m sure she needs some time,” Harry said and pulled Louis closer to his chest.

Louis closed his eyes again, enjoying his warmth of Harry’s body. Harry’s slow breathing let him drift to sleep again.

It was almost noon when Louis woke up again but Harry wasn’t in bed anymore. Louis turned onto his back, sighted loudly and looked out of the window. The view was beautiful. Thick snowflakes were falling from the grey sky and turned the landscape in a wonderful, white wonderland.  Louis sighted. He thought about the argument he had with his mum this morning. Why was his life such a mess? Would he ever be able to get his whole family back? Would his mum and Lottie accept him again? Why was it all so complicated? What had he done wrong? Louis couldn’t find answers to his questions. He got up, put on a worn t-shirt from Harry and went out of the room to look for him.

He found Harry in the kitchen where he was making a cake. Louis gave him a little kiss on the cheek, caressed his back and leaned onto his shoulder for a few seconds. Harry gave Louis a kiss onto his hair.

“Did you sleep well, love?”

The fact that Harry called Louis love was so flattering. “I always do when I’m with you.” Louis pulled Harry close for a warm, gentle kiss, then he wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist and leaned onto him. “Why are you baking?”

Harry smiled. “It’s for you because from now on you’ll be my flat mate for I don’t know how long and I thought you’d maybe like chocolate cake with extra chocolate as a welcome present.”

 “That’s so sweet! Thank you! If you only knew how happy you make, seriously.”

Harry wrapped one arm around Louis and bowed down to kiss his temple. “You’re such a cutie,” he chuckled. What a cute sound that was.

The weather was stormy that day so they cuddled up on Harry’s sofa in the afternoon. “Harry?” Louis turned his head to face him. “I’m very sad about the whole situation with my mum and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“It’s really complicated, I know,” Harry said. “But did you think about writing a letter to her? Sometimes it’s easier to read things instead of listening, maybe it would help?”

Louis liked the idea. A few minutes later his dad called him. Harry and Louis told him about the idea and he liked it. Then he suggested he would organize a dinner in Manchester with Louis’ mum the next weekend. He didn’t want to mention Harry before they met but Troy asked him if he would join them too.

“But dad, she didn’t like the last time so why do you think this meeting would be okay for her?”

“She was upset but I know her very well and I can tell she’s not happy with the situation at all. There’s a little chance to get everything into order again,” he said. “In case anything should go wrong you could give her the letter.”

they stopped talking with Louis’ dad, Harry continued to read a book and Louis wrote the letter to his mum.

 


	80. Doubts

Harry and Louis had managed to keep their relationship secret during the last weeks although Nathan knew that there was something going on between them. Louis was so thankful for his discretion but he wasn’t sure if it would really last because there were so many possibilities to get caught. What if others saw him entering Harry’s house? What would Louis tell his friends if they wanted to come to his hous? Should he move to a friend? But what would their parents say and what would he tell them? Louis was lost in thoughts when we went to bed in the evening.

“What are you thinking about, love?” Harry asked while he was undressing.

“I’m afraid that someone will find out about us before you leave school,” Louis answered and got under the covers.

He turned to the left, put his hands under his cheek and followed Harry’s movements. His body was amazingly beautiful. The black tattoos were a nice contrast to his skin that looked so smooth and soft this evening. Harry gave Louis a fond look while he got under the covers too. He leaned over, placed a kiss onto Louis’ forehead and caressed his cheek.

“We’ll find a way to handle it, I’m sure,” he said softly and looked deep into Louis’ eyes. “We just have to be careful.” Harry lied down on his back and crossed his arms behind his head.

“But what if people see me walking past my house?” Louis asked Harry. “Maybe they will ask me where I’m going or they will find out that something isn’t right.” His mum’s house was just a few streets away, but still.

“You’re right. But you could use another way,” Harry suggested. “I know a little path where you can pass unseen. It ends near your mum’s house. But you could also say that you’re sleeping at a friend’s house because you want to be on your own. Something like that.”

“I could try it,” Louis sighted and put his head onto Harry’s chest.

Harry put one arm around him and caressed his back slowly with his fingertips. It was one of Louis’ favorite things in the world.

“You know, the good thing is we’ll only have to hide for a few more weeks and even if someone finds out you’ll be old enough then.”

“But haven’t you told me that you could lose your job and eventually go to jail if someone found out? What about my mum, I mean, she knows and she could go to the police . . .” Louis panicked.

Harry shook his head. “I know your mum is angry, but if she wanted to report me she would have done it already. You’re her son and no matter how angry she is, she won’t deceive you. I’m pretty sure.” Harry kissed Louis’ hair. “And I won’t go to jail probably I’ll only have to pay penalty and I won’t be able to work at your school again.”

“But I don’t want to risk it. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me,” Louis said.

Harry smiled, reached out for Louis and pulled the boy on top of him. “I don’t mind getting in trouble because of you,” he said quietly and gave Louis a kiss onto the lips and gave him an intense look. “Don’t be afraid, I’ll take care of you.”

Louis caressed Harry’s hair. “Oh and . . . there’s good news too!” Harry smiled happily. “Now it’s official. I’m going to stop teaching at your school after the winter holidays what means that we can be dating officially from then on!”

“Really?” Louis said frowning.

“Really.” Harry said assuredly and pinched Louis’ nose. “It’s official now.”

His words made Louis incredibly happy. He gave Harry a quick kiss onto his neck and rested his head onto his chest again, relieved that all the hiding would be over soon. Harry’s warmth spread all over Louis’ body and his breathing calmed him a lot. “Thank you for everything,” Louis mumbled sleepily.

Harry caressed Louis’ cheek. Then he wrapped his arms around Louis’ body. “Always, love. If you’re afraid people could see us . . . there’s just one thing you could do,” he said. Louis could feel his breath on his neck.

“What do you mean?”

“If you’re afraid that someone could notice that you live with me you could ask a friend, Eleanor or Nathan, if you could stay at their houses.”

Louis moved away from Harry’s chest. “No, I don’t want to. I would like to stay with you.”

“Okay love, it was just an idea. You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” Harry said, nuzzled close to Louis and closed his eyes.

Louis wrapped his arm around him, kissed his cheek and scrached his scalp with his fingers. “Harry?”

“Hmm?” he mumbled, not moving at all.

“I’m afraid that mum won’t listen again.”

Harry kissed Louis’ neck and got back into his position. “Don’t be. I’m sure everything will be fine in the end. Your dad’s idea is a good one. Oh and . . . please don’t stop what you’re doing. I love it so much,” Harry mumbled half asleep.

Louis kissed his forehead. “I won’t,” he whispered, kissed Harry again and continued to please him until he was fast asleep.

 


	81. Jealousy

“Hey Louis!” Eleanor chirped happily when she saw his friend in the morning. “It’s good to see you again! I’ve sent you a few messages, is your phone broken?”

“Oh sorry El, I think I lost it somewhere,” Louis lied.

“We just wanted to invite you for watching movies but now it’s too late actually.” Nathan and Eleanor told Louis how scary the movies were and as they were telling him about their evening Louis got the feeling that there was something going on between them.

When they walked through the school gates, Louis saw Harry’s car standing at the teacher parking lot. The first lessons were boring as always although Eleanor tried to entertain Louis by scribbling messages onto a piece of paper all the time. She informed his friend she really had a little crush on Nathan but she wasn’t sure about his feelings. Louis was happy about that. Eleanor would probably spend as much time as she could with Nathan instead of Louis so it would be easier for him to hide his secret. Eleanor let Louis almost forget about Harry because she was as chatty and joyful as always. The friends spend the lunch break together and had a great time.

After lunch they went outside where Eleanor told Louis about her movie night with Nathan. Louis smiled the whole time because it was obvious she didn’t have a little but a huge crush on him.

“You should tell him, El,” Louis told her.

She hit him playfully. “It’s easy for you to talk. He’ll probably laugh about me and think that I’m crazy.”

“Oh come on El, of course you are, everyone knows!” Louis laughed. “But I’m sure he likes you too, haven’t you noticed yet?” Her eyes widened.

“Don’t look at me like that, okay? Just go on another date with him and get together finally,” Louis smiled at her.

She blushed and ran her fingers through her hair. “So you really think he likes me? Why?”

Louis nodded. “I think he does. He’s always trying to look over to you during classes and it seems like he’s almost acting a little bit shy when he’s around you. I noticed it this morning but I didn’t want to embarrass you,” Louis chuckled.

When Harry entered the room, Louis felt how his stomach tightened. Nadine, one of the most arrogant but popular girls at school waited at his desk. What the hell did she want from him? She was a total bitch to people and she tried to gain the attention of males almost all the time, no matter if they were students or teachers. Her attitude drew Louis crazy, especially when she was near Harry. The majority of his teachers didn’t seem to mind but how could Harry not fall for her or at least find her attractive? Louis just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Of course he had told Louis he was gay but what about the smiles and gestures? How could someone be so friendly to almost everyone? What if he found her attractive or something? The more Louis thought about it, the stronger the pain inside of his heart grew. Did Harry really love Louis or was it just a game he was playing with him?

“Ms. Kane, why aren’t you at your place?” Harry asked her friendly. Louis couldn’t stand it. Why did he smile at her, what the fuck?

“Oh . . . I just wanted to give you something,” she chirped and stuck a note onto his desk.

“I don’t think it’s more important than our topic today,” Harry remarked and made a sign for her to sit down. Then he put the note away and greeted his class.

Louis couldn’t really concentrate on the lesson because of Harry and the note Nadine had given him. The note in combination with Harry’s behavior towards the girl got Louis totally off the course. The whole situation was bothering him so much that he suddenly had a sense he was nicer to her than to him during class. Was it true? Or was it just imagination? A painful pressure occurred in Louis’ stomach. He missed Harry. He missed his closeness, his touch and his warmth. Louis caught himself as he was observing Harry during the lessons - even more than he had done before. The feeling in his stomach was disturbing and it wouldn’t go away.

There was another worse moment that Louis nearly couldn’t bear. When Harry was standing in front of Nadine’s desk, he gave her a bright smile and pushed his fluffy hair. This move was so special to Louis. Harry would do it when they were at home and Louis loved how Harry’s hair fell into place again and he also used to do it when he hovered over him and now he did that gesture in front of this slutty girl? Even in front of his entire class? When Nadine asked him something that wasn’t regarding subject matter he bit his lip while he was looking at her. Had he always done these little thins during classes? Louis couldn’t remember properly. All he knew was how much it hurt him. Louis had to admit he was jealous, he really was. As he was staring at the scene, he felt a lump building in his throat. He should have been the one who should have received this look, not her. Maybe it was childish to think that but Louis couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stand how Harry was acting towards Nadine and other classmates. He couldn’t stand how distant Harry was at school. Louis got angry about himself. Why couldn’t he just act normally? Why couldn’t he just sit in his seat and participate in the lesson just like everybody else? Instead he was drowning in jealousy and self-doubts. This negative feeling got worse with every nice word Harry said to someone else. The fact pulled Louis deeper into his miserable situation he couldn’t escape of. At a certain point Louis left the room without asking for permission. He just got up and went out of the room, ignoring Harry who was calling him.

Although it was cold Louis went out of the school building and ran towards the pitch where he sat down next to the stands. He was just too exhausted to go to another place and he really didn’t care. Tears were streaming down his face while the blowing wind made him shiver. Why was he always running away? It seemed to be a returning pattern, obviously. Would Harry come after him? No, of course he wouldn’t. Harry wouldn’t run after his childish boyfriend who couldn’t deal with his jealousy. Louis’ thoughts hurt him so much as he pulled his legs closer to his body. His face and hands were almost numb from the cold, his body felt nearly frozen. Louis needed the pain that came from the outside because he could control how much of it he could endure. The pain inside of his heart hurt more, definitely.

All Louis wanted was Harry. He didn’t want to share him with others. He didn’t want him to treat others as nice as he was usually treating him. The boy wrapped his arms around his legs and put his head onto his knees. Then Louis closed his eyes and tried not to think about anything.

After some time Louis heard someone calling his name. It was Nathan who was running across the yard. “Louis, what are you doing here? It’s so cold!” he yelled. “Jesus Louis, you’re almost frozen! Let’s go inside, I don’t want to imagine how long you’ve been sitting here!” Nathan said worried and pulled Louis into the sports hall. There he opened an empty changing room where they sat down. Louis was shivering and Nathan wrapped his warm winter jacket around his friend. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I . . . I don’t know it’s just . . . it’s so difficult to act as if nothing had happened. Harry is so different at school. He ignores me all the time . . . I can’t stand when others are . . . flirting with him.” Louis’ voice was thick with tears. “Nadine is flirting with him all the time and he’s so nice to her and he’s so nice to the other girls too. He’s nice to everyone except me . . . “

“Oh Louis, he’s just acting professional. Don’t cry,” Nathan said and rubbed Louis’ arm gently, trying to comfort him. “I don’t think he even likes Nadine but he has to treat her just as everybody else and you know him. He’s such a sweet guy. He’s nice to everyone around, really.”

Louis shook his head. “He ignores me completely. I can’t stand when he’s that nice to others, I just can’t,” Louis said while he was wiping his nose.

Nathan sighted. “But Lou, you know that he can’t act differently at school because of you.”

Of course Louis knew but he couldn’t cope with it. “Let’s go back, okay? It’s so cold even in here and I don’t want you to get ill,” Nathan said and walked back to the main building with Louis.

“I’ll stay here,” Louis told Nathan when they walked into the entrance hall. “I can’t go into the classroom like this.” Louis pointed at his face.

Nathan went away but came back after a few minutes. “Mr. Styles told me you should wait in front of his office. He’ll be there in a few minutes.”

 

Ten minutes later, Harry opened the door to his office and let Louis in. “Love, what happened?” Harry asked him and wanted to hug the boy.

Louis flinched. He took a few steps back and blurted out everything that was on his mind in that moment. “Why are you ignoring me? You’re nice to everybody except me! You didn’t even try to smile or talk to me, instead you were flirting with Nadine who’s clearly interested in you and I couldn’t stand how friendly you acted towards my classmates as if nothing had happened! I was sitting there like an idiot trying to get your attention but you wouldn’t notice me, of course not because you were too busy with the other girls and . . . and. . . “ Louis’ last words were drowned in his tears. He was sobbing so hard that he couldn’t speak anymore. The boy covered his face with his hands and dropped down onto the sofa where he buried his head into the fluffy pillows. His body was shaking and he almost choked on his own tears. Harry sat down next to Louis and wanted to touch his back but Louis pushed his hand away.

“Don’t touch me Harry, don’t,” he sobbed although he needed him so bad.

“Louis, I can’t treat you special in class,” Harry said seriously. “We’ve talked about it already.”

Louis turned his head towards him. “But you can flirt with Nadine and the other girls, can’t you?” His face was covered in tears and they wouldn’t stop running down his cheeks.

Harry shook his head. “Baby, I didn’t do that. You got it completely wrong. I just tried to be nice to her. That’s not flirting,” he said calmly. Harry gently touched Louis’ thigh.

Louis wiped his eyes and got up slowly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to yell at you,” he said. “But . . . I can’t handle this.”

Harry took Louis hand and pulled him close for a kiss. “First of all, it’s normal to be jealous sometimes. And it shows I’m important for you.” Harry caressed Louis’ hair. “As much as I can understand you have to control your temper baby, okay?”

Louis nodded and wiped away his tears. “It’s so difficult.”

Harry kissed Louis’ temple. “I know. But please do it for you and for me. I really don’t care about Nadine, Jessica and the other girls. I’m not attracted to them at all, please believe me. The only one I want is you but I can’t show that in class.”

Suddenly his tone changed to a lascivious manner. “Just wait until you come home. I’ll show you how much you mean to me if you’re my good boy for the rest of your day.” Harry’s voice was raspier than ever as he smirked at Louis and let his right hand slide down Louis’ stomach slowly. Louis immediately felt the warm tickling in his lower stomach.

“Don’t do that here!” he chuckled and pushed Harry’s hand away.

“You like that, don’t you?” Harry smiled and held his hands up in defense what made Louis laugh.

“I’ll pull myself together,” Louis answered and got up from Harry’s lap. “I promise.”

“You’re a good boy,” Harry cooed into Louis’ ear, licked over it and leaned in for a filthy, deep kiss.

Louis felt relieved when he left the office. He tried very hard to pull himself together during the next hours and luckily it wasn’t that difficult because the mere thought of what would happen at home was enough to keep the boy distracted from every jealous thought that could have occurred that day.

 


	82. Good boy

When Louis came home he figured that Harry was showering. Louis went into the bedroom and changed into one of his jumpers, put his sweatpants on and sat down in the living room where he scrolled through his phone. The fire in the fireplace was lit and the temperature in the room was nice. Eleanor was too cute. She was constantly texting him about Nathan. They exchanged a few messages when Louis startled by a knocking sound.

Louis looked up and saw Harry leaning under the door frame. His body was only covered with a white towel he was wearing around his hips. He looked at Louis with an intense look as he was pushing his fluffy hair back. Louis just stared at the beautiful man. He had never felt so attracted by someone and even this time it was unique although he had seen Harry’s naked body before.

“You’re cute when you’re concentrated,” Harry said with a wink and walked towards the couch.

Louis’ heart started hammering in his chest because the man’s presence alone made Louis nervous as hell. Harry cupped Louis’ chin with his right hand and gave him a gentle kiss that made Louis’ stomach flutter. He kissed Harry back as he cupped Harry’s face into both of his hands and pulled him closer. Harry opened his eyes, looked at Louis and leaned in for another kiss again.

“Stay here, I’ll be back in a few seconds,” Harry said, kissed Louis again and went out of the room.

He came back, wearing only tight black panties. Louis’ eyes were glued to Harry’s crotch immediately as he entered the room again. His stare was sending chills down the boy’s spine as he walked towards him. Harry talked with his eyes only as he sat down next to Louis. His look was deep and almost piercing that Louis couldn’t act any differently than kiss him.

Louis got up from the sofa without breaking the kiss. He straddled Harry’s lap and buried his hands into Harry’s hair he loved so much. The warm feeling of Harry’s mouth onto his and the way he kissed Louis took him to another level of intimacy. Louis could already feel the arousing tickling in his lower region while Harry was holding Louis’ hips strongly that it almost hurt a little. A small gasp came out of Louis’ mouth when Harry breathed some filthy words into his ear. Then Harry started to plant small kisses down Louis’ neck until he started sucking the sensitive spot under his ear.

“You’ve been a good boy for daddy today,” Harry moaned while he kissed Louis’ neck. The voice alone let Louis squirm and he could feel his bulge grow. “What do you want me to do to you?” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear.

Louis flushed and wasn’t able to answer. He flinched back a little and stared into Harry’s green eyes. “Baby. . . ” Harry said and stroked Louis’ hair. “Did I do something wrong?”

Louis shook his head but avoided Harry’s gaze. He felt so good around him, that wasn’t the point. Louis loved Harry so much, he loved his touch, he loved the sound of his voice but the lack of experience was disturbing for him and made him feel sort of guilty. A strange feeling of insecurity, shame and his lack of experience suddenly caught Louis. He thought it was ridiculous because they had already done these things, but something deep inside of him told Louis to stop.

“Shall we stop, I mean . . . we can also watch a movie or do something else?” Harry proposed.

“No, no. It’s not that. I . . . I like it but . . .” Louis stammered embarrassed, “ it’s just, you know I’m . . . I’m afraid that I can’t give you back what you’re giving me because I don’t have that much experience with . . . these things and I’m so insecure when it comes to this,” Louis said insecurely. Harry gave Louis a gentle kiss onto his cheek and took both of his hands in his.

“Baby, I’ve already told you not to worry about it. It’s not a competition, Louis. I enjoy every minute with you, seriously and I’ve nothing against giving as long as you enjoy it.” Harry kissed Louis’ knuckles. “I enjoy it as much as getting so please don’t worry. You’ve been amazing until now, but as I have already said - if you don’t feel like it or if you aren’t ready . . .” Harry said but Louis interrupted him by putting his hand over Harry’s mouth to stop him from talking.

“No Harry, I like it . . . I like it very much and I love what you’re . . . I love what you’re doing to me.” He blushed.

Harry smiled and looked at Louis’ bulge that was clearly visible. “I can see that,” Harry smirked and chuckled.

“Let me make you feel good okay? Just relax. Daddy’s here,” Harry said teasingly while he took off Louis’ sweater and exposed his torso. Harry’s low voice calmed Louis down immediately and it didn’t take long until he felt the tickling in his crotch again.

“Okay,” he breathed against Harry’s mouth as they started kissing again.

Louis bit his lip as Harry was hovering over him and straddled his legs. Harry was so close to Louis’ face that he could only look him into the eyes. Louis loved how Harry looked at him when he was in this position and he loved to feel Harry’s curls tickling his skin. Harry gently slid his index finger down the boy’s jawline and neck until he reached his semi-hard nipples. His first touch let them already get hard and the feeling increased so much when Harry let his tongue circle around them quickly. Then he sucked gently at one while he touched the other one with his fingers. They were so sensitive that Louis’ arousal increased and let him push his hips up to get some friction.

“I know you like that baby,” Harry whispered as he gave Louis a rough kiss and pinched his nipples a few times what made Louis moan slightly.

Harry smirked and bit Louis’ lip before he ran his tongue over them to soothe the light pain. While Harry was licking and biting Louis’ nipples again, he rubbed his crotch onto Louis from time to time. Louis tugged at Harry’s hair again while he left a wet trail of little kisses down Louis’ tummy. Then Louis grabbed Harry’s cross necklace and pulled him close to give him an intimate, tender kiss. Both boys were panting while kissing and soon pushed Louis’ sweatpants down. Louis pushed his hips up to help Harry undress him.

Harry smirked at Louis and licked through the thin fabric of Louis’ underwear a few times before he gently touched the sensitive area. Louis pushed up his hips again but Harry pressed him onto the sofa. “Don’t,” Harry said seriously. “If you do that again I’ll stop. Remember last time? Try to be good for daddy okay?”

Louis whimpered quietly because of the loss of friction and Harry’s words. He wasn’t aware of the fact how much he loved Harry’s tone, how much he loved to be manhandled, told what to do. Louis put one of his hands onto his stomach to remind him of Harry’s words and grabbed Harry’s arm with the other. Harry looked deep into Louis’ eyes while he was touching Louis’ growing length as he came closer to his face and gave Louis another quick, rough kiss. Louis tried to touch Harry’s penis through his pants, but Harry put his hand away gently. “Don’t touch me yet.”

“Why?” Louis asked but Harry didn’t answer. He really wanted to touch him. Harry held his wrist tight again. “Did you hear me?” he asked and looked directly into Louis’ eyes. Louis just nodded and bit his lip. “Good boy,” Harry cooed into Louis’ ear, gave him a quick nibble and teased Louis’ hard nipples again before he lowered down. Louis loved it so much that he couldn’t help when a loud moan escaped his mouth. He felt his penis throb slightly when Harry nearly touched it. He needed Harry to grab it, he needed Harry to touch it or lick it or do whatever he wanted to but he couldn’t just lie there without being touched. The tension was there but Louis wanted more so he pushed his hips up again.

Harry stopped his actions and grabbed Louis’ chin. “What have I just said to you?” he asked loudly and punched Louis nipples hard what made Louis whimper. Harry came close to Louis’ face, turned Louis’ head a little. “Don’t you remember what I said?” Harry almost yelled harshly. Louis loved the rough and loud tone of Harry’s voice that scared him a little but aroused the boy at the same time. He liked it so much. Oh god. That’s why he did it, totally. Maybe.

“I shouldn’t move,” Louis whispered barely audible. His mouth was dry as he looked into Harry’s eyes.

Harry shook his head. “I can’t hear you, what did you say?” Harry asked loudly, squeezed Louis’ my cheeks with one of his hands that he almost couldn’t speak properly.

“I shouldn’t move my hips, daddy.” Louis answered louder.

“You aren’t listening to daddy, young boy.” Harry said teasingly. He suddenly slapped his semi-hard penis what made Louis yell out. It was just the shock, it actually didn’t hurt that much.

“Do you want daddy to slap you again?” Harry asked, not looking away from Louis. The boy couldn’t move his head because Harry’s strong hand was holding it in place. He shook his head as good as possible.

“Say it!” Harry demanded and pinched Louis’ nipple stronger than he had done it before.

“I won’t do it again daddy,” Louis whimpered quietly.

Harry loosened his grip and let his index finger glide over Louis’ face. His voice was teasing, his tone low. “Daddy doesn’t want to slap you, you know. But if you don’t listen you’ll have to be punished,” he said slowly.

Harry’s hot breath against his skin caused Louis’ whole body to react. He shivered and got goose-pimples all everywhere. Louis needed to feel Harry’s hot breath on his mouth again, so he turned his head until he could look into Harry’s eyes again. Louis lifted his head to kiss Harry gently. Harry licked over Louis mouth but pulled away as the boy wanted to lean into the kiss. He pushed his tongue out but couldn’t reach Harry. Harry smirked, came closer again, kissed the boy quickly but pulled away again. Louis’ enjoyed the game but let out a quiet, disappointed whimper when Harry didn’t let him reach his lips.

“Never forget who’s in control here,” Harry whispered and gave Louis a short smirk. “Let’s take off your pants now. They’re already too tight as far as I can see.” Harry lowered his head, kissed Louis quickly and sucked the skin on his neck again. While he was hovering over Louis again Harry pushed one hand down Louis’ torso and gave Louis’ length a few gentle strokes before he pulled down the pants and threw them onto the carpet.

“You’re already that big, wow,” Harry purred into Louis’ ear and started to pump Louis, but not with a steady rhythm. Louis felt like he was going to explode because Harry would loosen his grip sometimes but then he would tighten it again. Suddenly Harry applied more pressure and pumped faster just to go slow again before he put his hands away completely. The feeling in his tummy grew stronger then subsided again. Harry’s variation got Louis crazy and needy as hell. Louis wrapped his fingers around Harry’s left hand he was using to prop himself up. It was so hard not to push his hips up when Harry continued teasing him. From time to time he let his tongue slid over Louis’ mouth and kissed him desperately until a little moan escape his mouth too.

All of a sudden Harry sat down onto Louis thighs. He let his hands slide over Louis’s torso, took Louis’ hands and pulled the boy up while he gave him a long, deep French kiss. Louis wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and buried the nails into his back. Then he moved his hands up towards the neck and let his fingers run through Harry’s thick hair.

Harry got off Louis’ lap, grabbed the boy’s hips and pulled him into a new position. Harry arranged Louis’ legs at his sides, kneeled down between them and pushed his hands under Louis bum to hold him in place. Louis felt exposed but not too uncomfortable. Louis rested his head onto the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. First Harry licked over Louis inner tights and just let his warm mouth glide over his throbbing length without touching it. The warm feeling tickled onto Louis’ skin. Harry took Louis’ penis into his mouth for a second just to let it go again what let Louis whimper at the loss of contact. Then Harry gave Louis’ balls a soft squeeze with his hands before he let his tongue slide over them with pressure.

“Open your eyes, love. Daddy wants to see you,” Harry demanded. Louis felt a little embarrassed to see Harry looking at him while he was doing these things to him. “Good boy,” Harry whispered as Louis opened his eyes and kissed his temple.

Harry let his tongue glide along Louis’ shaft with pressure until he reached the tip. His eyes never left Louis’ as he let it slide into his mouth slowly, his lips gliding over the already sensitive tip over and over again. Harry never lost eye contact to Louis. He held Louis’ length in his mouth without doing anything before he applied more friction to the bottom and let his mouth glide down the shaft again so that the tip of his penis hit Harry’s throat slightly. The feeling was incredible, teasing, warm, tickling, burning. Louis moaned when Harry moved his head up and down his hard penis. He tugged at Harry’s hair again and tried to hold him in place.

Harry smirked, pulled the penis out of his mouth and let it fall onto Louis’ tummy. He gave him a lick and watched it twitch as he wrapped his right hand around it, spat onto Louis’ tip and gave it a quick, teasing massage with his thumb. Louis couldn’t believe the sensation that came with it. He had closed his eyes again because it was impossible to leave them open. The feeling Harry was giving him was amazing, too amazing to be true.

Louis whimpered as Harry stopped touching him and leaned in for a rough kiss again. “Can’t you leave your eyes open, baby?” he whispered into Louis’ ear. Louis bit his lip and made a few, desperate sounds. He couldn’t even talk properly. “Alright, then close them again,” Harry’s voice changed from harsh to soft.

Louis held Harry’s head close. “Thank you, daddy,” he panted into his ear and pushed Harry’s head down. “Please . . . daddy, touch me, please!” he whimpered what made Harry smirk.

He went down on his knees again and gave Louis’ length a quick lick before he let his wet tongue circle around the tip a few times, then let it sink deeper into his warm mouth. He immediately and started to move his head up and down. After a while he started to wrap his hand around Louis’ penis too and gave him strokes too. The combination of his hand and mouth was breathtaking and Louis’ felt the increasing tension growing stronger and faster. He let out a few quiet moans when Harry concentrated at his tip again. The pressure was so intense and Louis’ breathing got louder.

Harry pulled away for a few seconds and played with Louis’ fully hard nipples again. They were so sensitive that Harry’s small bites nearly hurt. As Louis’ whimpered in lust and pain, Harry kissed them gently to soothe the pain. Louis pulled Harry close for a kiss while Harry’s wrapped his hands around Louis’ penis again and gave it a few, incredible slow strokes. The teasing was so good that Louis grabbed Harry’s head again.

“Don’t stop daddy, please don’t stop touching me!” he pleaded, the words tumbling out of his mouth without thinking. “It feels so good!”

Harry’s breath felt hot against Louis mouth, his touch set him on fire and he wasn’t able to speak properly because suddenly everything around him got blurry. Harry had started to stroke him harder and faster while he looked Louis in the eyes.

“Look at you. If you could see how beautiful you are,” Harry whispered and licked over Louis’ lips teasingly.

They kissed again but Louis’ couldn’t concentrate on the kiss properly. The friction and the need were too strong so the kiss got sloppy while both boys breathed into their warm mouths. Harry gave Louis’ nipples a few quick licks before his head went down again where he took Louis into his mouth. He started bobbing his head faster this time so that Louis’ tip touched his throat almost every time. Harry spat onto Louis’ tip, rubbed his thumb over it and took the penis into his mouth again. The pressure increased again Harry started to pump Louis in addition to his sucking. The sounds Harry made while blowing him were so dirty and appealing that Louis couldn’t help but moan again. Harry spluttered and gagged while moving his head up and down Louis’ tip and shaft that Louis thought he might explode. The man’s mouth felt incredibly hot and warm around Louis. He moaned and squirmed under Harry’s touch when the tension in his crotch got stronger than ever before. When Louis’ breathing got louder, Harry increased the speed again, spat onto the penis again and blew the boy until he was almost there.

Louis was done, he was so close but Harry wouldn’t allow him to come yet. It was nearly impossible for Louis to control his whimpers when he pushed his hips up against Harry’s throat again. He didn’t think about his actions, his body was in control by Harry but he needed to feel more, he needed the friction and he needed Harry. He grabbed Harry’s hair, tugged at it and tried to push his penis deeper into Harry’s mouth. Louis acted automatically, following the signals his body was giving him. He couldn’t think properly anymore because the growing sensation didn’t let his brain work normally.

Harry’s movements brought Louis to the edge, his legs begun to stiffen and tremble a bit, everything happened uncontrolled and Louis was so needy, he was sweating, his breathing was so heavy and the pressure down there increased too fast so he had no other choice but to push his hips harder into Harry’s wet mouth. Louis wrapped his hands around Harry’s strong arms. “Faster daddy, please!” Louis whimpered loudly and Harry obeyed. When his tip touched the back of the throat again, he came hard into Harry’s mouth. This time, the feeling was overwhelming, at the edge of nearly passing out. Louis’ whole body trembled and twitched as he was releasing into Harry’s mouth.

Harry didn’t flinch at all. He held Louis’ penis in his mouth until the boy had released all of his cum. Then he pulled away gently. He opened his mouth and let Louis come run down his chin, dripping onto Louis’ pulsing penis. Harry leaned in for a slow, tender kiss while he gave Louis a few very light strokes. The sensational pain of it made Louis almost cry out. He wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him closer for a long hug. Harry kissed Louis’ temple, wrapped his arms around the sweaty boy and pulled him on top of his body.

Louis was almost feeling dizzy after this experience. His breathing was still quicker than usual as he buried his head into the crook of Harry’s neck. The pleasant, satisfying feeling that was filling his body calmed him down after a while. “Oh my god, this was . . . amazing.” Louis panted, still recovering.

After a while Louis got off from Harry and looked into his eyes without saying anything. Harry gave Louis a kiss on the forehead and covered Louis and himself with a blanket.

 “You won’t come that fast again, I will tease you until you beg me to let you come,” Harry said, caressing Louis’ hair.

How could words be so appealing? Louis almost felt the tickling in his crotch again although he had just had his orgasm. Louis pressed his lips together. “I want to do the same to you,” he said quietly but didn’t dare to look into Harry’s eyes. He remembered the last time that was a little mess, according to Louis at least.

Harry caressed Louis’ cheek and gave him a cute kiss. “I would love you to but don’t put yourself under pressure.” Harry let his fingers interlock with Louis’. “You should really want to do it and I promise I won’t stop you then.” he smirked.

Louis felt a little bit guilty again. He enjoyed the feelings Harry gave him and he was the best thing ever. He enjoyed his closeness, his warmth and his loving words. But what if he was just saying that to make him feel better? Why was he too shy to touch Harry the way he did touch him? What if he did something wrong? What if he disappointed Harry? Harry seemed to notice something wasn’t okay with Louis. He pulled the boy closer and gave him a small kiss onto his temple.

“I have enjoyed every second with you, I really did,” Harry smiled at Louis. “You have to believe me. You’re such a special person and I love everything about you. I don’t care if you had already have sex or not, I really don’t.” Harry kissed Louis again.

“Really? But I feel so embarrassed . . .” Louis mumbled.

Harry slapped him playfully. “Would you stop it? As I have already said to you, sex is not a competition. We have enough time to experiment with it and as long as you enjoy it, it’s all good, okay?”.

Louis looked up. How beautiful his messy hair was. He brushed a few streaks away that were falling into Harry’s face. “Thank you, Harry.” Then Louis pulled Harry’s head close for a long, intimate kiss.

“You’re such a good kisser, natural talented,” Harry whispered into Louis’ mouth as he massaged Louis’ tongue with his. Louis just giggled and let his fingertips explore Harry’s beautiful face.

Harry’s eyelids fluttered a little bit and his facial features softened as Louis touched him. His skin was smooth but rough at the same time and his puffy lips were still pink from everything he had done to Louis a few minutes ago. Louis let his fingers travel over Harry’s straight eyebrows, over his closed eyelids. He gave them a few gentle kisses what made Harry chuckle a little. Louis pushed Harry down so that he rested his head onto Louis thighs. Harry looked at his beautiful face, caressed his cheeks gently, ruffled through his hair and scratched his scalp for a few minutes. It didn’t take long until Harry fell asleep. Louis kissed his forehead. “I love you,” the boy whispered.

 


	83. Nightmare

When Louis passed his mum’s house the next morning he saw his little sisters walking down the street. When they saw Louis, they immediately started running towards him, wrapped their arms around their older brother and held him close.

“My babies, how are you?” Louis asked them happily. It felt like he hadn’t seen them for weeks.

“We miss you,” both of them answered simultaneously and wrapped their little arms around Louis’ waist again. “Mum told us you were staying at a friend’s house. Don’t you want to come back to us?” Daisy asked.

Louis sighted. “Of course I want to come back, but as long as mum doesn’t want me to, I can’t,” he answered sadly.

“I think mummy is sad that you aren’t with us,” Phoebe remarked.

“I don’t know about that.” Louis shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m sure she is,” Phoebe added. “Daisy and I saw her crying in the living room the other day. She would say your name over and over again and talked to herself about you.”

Louis didn’t know what to think about it. “Maybe she’s just sad. I’m sure she’ll tell me when she has changed her mind.”

When they crossed the street next to the park the girls continued their way to their school. Louis waved at them and leaned onto a huge walnut tree where he usually waited for Nathan and Eleanor. A few minutes later he could see them approaching. Were they holding hands? When they came closer, Louis couldn’t help but smile because they looked so cute together. Eleanor suddenly let go and ran towards Louis, gave him a small kiss onto his cheek and hugged her friend.

“You seem very happy,” Louis whispered into her ear.

“Yeah, I am,” she replied happily and reached her hand out for Nathan again who was slowly approaching them.

Nathan smiled at her too and took her hand into his. Louis gave her a light nudge. “Should I ask him or do you prefer to tell me the details?” Louis whispered into Eleanor’s ear and earned a playful slap from Eleanor.

Of course Eleanor and Nathan told Louis what had happened during the last days. His friends at school were in a good mood too and Louis realized how occupied he had been during the last few days. His family issues and Harry had been capturing him so much that he had nearly missed everything that was going on with his friends. This morning Louis felt like a normal teenage boy who wasn’t gay, who didn’t have any problems and who wasn’t in love with his English teacher.

Louis was in a very good mood when he walked down the corridor towards his classroom. It changed drastically when he saw Nadine and a few girls standing there. Louis almost felt jealous again although Harry was nowhere to be seen. The way Nadine and her friends looked at the boy was kind of degrading and arrogant. Their eyes scanned every inch of Louis’ body what made him feel very uncomfortable a lot. Why did they do that? Louis had barely talked to them and as far as he remembered he hadn’t done anything what could have made them angry.

“I really don’t care about Nadine, Jessica and the other girls. I’m not attracted to them at all, please believe me. The only one I want is you but I can’t show you that in class.”

Louis remembered Harry’s words but it was so hard for him to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach. What was happening with him? Harry wasn’t there even! And although Louis should have been used to the situation at school it still was difficult for him to handle it properly. The need to be close to Harry wouldn’t go away. It was impossible for him to ignore the jealousy that increased every time Harry was too friendly or nice (in Louis’ opinion) to other students. Louis wanted everybody to know that Harry belonged to him and he wanted the girls to know that Harry wasn’t interested in them at all but of course that wasn’t possible.

 

Louis decided to stay longer at school on Wednesday. He had too much work to do and it was always hard for him to focus onto work when Harry was around. If he came home later it could also minimize the risk to be seen next to Harry’s house. That’s why he bought himself a sandwich and a hot chocolate in the cafeteria, sat down in his classroom and started working on his biology project in the afternoon.

Louis was so engrossed in his work that he hadn’t noticed it was already getting dark outside. The sky was covered in dark grey clouds and the wind was blowing strongly outside. The weather also made him very tired. Louis had a stretch and sighted. He decided to take a quick break from work so he crossed his arms, put them onto the tabletop and laid his head onto them.

 

A few minutes later Louis heard a loud knock and startled. When he lifted his head from the table, he saw Nadine and her friends standing next to the doorframe.

“It’s already late, what are you doing here?” she asked Louis while they were walking towards his desk.

Her friend Jessica closed the classroom door and switched off the lights. The girl’s silhouettes looked scary and almost threatening in the dark. Louis’ hands were sweating and he felt a lump building in his throat. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t because the words got stuck in his throat.

“Look at him,” the third girl said with a fake smile. “How cute and innocent he is.”

She pushed Louis’ books and notepad from the desk, sat down onto it and looked deep into his eyes. Then she grabbed his chin with her hand and turned his head to the side roughly. “How pretty you are,” she said mockingly. “Look at these cheekbones and that cute little nose!” She tried to ruffle through Louis’ hair but he flinched. By that time, Nadine and Jessica were already surrounding his desk what made Louis feel shift uncomfortably.

“Hey baby!” Nadine said mockingly, “you should better take your eyes off Styles because I’m sure he’s not interested in innocent school boys who have crushes on their hot teachers.”

Nadine’s words made Louis blush and Louis got even more nervous. What did she know? Had she seen Louis and Harry somewhere? His hands got sweaty all of a sudden and his heart was pounding heavily as she crouched down next to Louis. “You shouldn’t try to mess with us, beautiful,” she said teasingly.

“I haven’t done anything to you!” Louis nearly whined.

Nadine giggled. “How cute he is, trying to defend himself.”

“Darling, you’re such a beautiful princess,” Jessica chirped. “I think it’s time for us to show you that being gay isn’t worth it. You could have a cute girlfriend instead, you know?”

She gave the third girl a sign. “It will only take one lesson to learn how important it will be for you to stay away from Styles.” Nadine and Jessica glared at Louis. The other girl took a black plastic box out of her bag and handed it to Nadine.

“We know you’re a disgusting little faggot who’s admiring Styles, everyone can see that,” Nadine said and walked around Louis who was still sitting in his place. He was so shocked that he didn’t dare to move. “Styles is mine, and you have to understand that he will never be yours, never. Our little lesson will definitely help you to forget about him,” Nadine said slowly while she slid her fingers down Louis’ cheek. “Trust me, today was the last day you couldn’t take your cute puppy eyes off him.”

Louis’ heart started beating louder than before because he was so scared of what would happen. Just in that moment Nadine gave her friends a sign. Louis couldn’t react at all as they grabbed both of his arms, pulled the boy off his chair and pressed Louis’ back against the wall. Nadine opened the box and took a black silicone dildo out that was shaped like a penis. She held it up in the air.

“Have you ever had such a nice thing shoved up your cute little ass?” Nadine asked and grabbed Louis’ bum. Louis flinched but Nadine only laughed about his try. “You know, that’s what faggots do. They fuck themselves with their huge cocks instead of pounding wet vaginas,” she hissed sharply and caressed Louis’ face with the toy. “And if they can’t get a real cock, they use these.”

Louis was incredibly scared and close to tears. “I have never . . .” Louis nearly cried.

Nadine gave him a nice smile and silenced him with her hand. She pressed it against Louis’ mouth and made sure it covered his nose too. Louis panicked because he nearly couldn’t breathe anymore. A few tears were running down his face and he whimpered quietly.

“Shut up Louis or I will stuff your dirty little mouth with something else.” Nadine’s tone changed negatively. She scared Louis so much that he nearly pissed himself.

“Go, Jenna,” Nadine ordered when another girl appeared next to her.

Louis hadn’t noticed her before. Jessica and her friend were holding Louis’ wrists up forcefully. Jenna kneeled down and started to open Louis belt and tried to pull his jeans down but Louis defended himself. He moved his hips and tried to kick her into her face and called for help. Nadine immediately grabbed Louis’ cheeks and pressed her nails into his skin.

“Will you shut the fuck up?” she hissed. “If you don’t stop moving we’ll tie you up!”

“Leave me alone!” Louis cried, still trying to free himself from Jessica and the girl.

“You won’t listen, will you?” Nadine pulled a thin scarf out of her bag and put it around Louis’ face so that it covered his mouth. Then she tightened it around his head and tied it roughly. The fabric was so stiff that it hurt the corners of Louis’ mouth.

“It hurts!” Louis cried but his words came out as a muffled sound. The girls ignored him completely. Although they held him tight, Louis somehow managed to slap one of the girls but they were stronger than him and pushed his arms onto his back hurtfully.

“Don’t you dare, you little piece of shit!” Jessica hissed and both girls tightened their grip.

“We need the tape!” Nadine ordered and nodded at Jenna. She took a bold silver tape out of another bag and started to wrap it around Louis’ wrists. Louis was terrified and tried to scream but nothing than hot air released his mouth.

“Stop whimpering, you wet blanket. We haven’t even started yet!” Jenna yelled into Louis’ ear.

It didn’t take long until they had fixed Louis’ wrists behind his back. The boy was nearly unable to move when Jenna and her friend pulled off his jeans. Nadine touched Louis’ crotch and looked him in the eyes. Then she pulled his boxers down and slapped Louis’ balls and penis with her hand. Louis squirmed and yelled out in pain but the scarf that was wrapped around his mouth turned his yell into a quiet, muffled sound. Nadine didn’t seem to mind. She slapped Louis’ penis again and squeezed his balls so hard again that the boy almost collapsed on the floor.

The pain was intense. “Please, stop it!” Louis cried but the girls only smirked at him. “Please!”

But the girls didn’t listen. They pushed Louis onto the floor and fixed him. “Oh no baby boy, we won’t stop. We haven’t even begun,” Nadine replied. Her face was close to Louis as she caressed his cheek gently. “All we want is to help you,” she whispered and placed a kiss onto Louis’ cheek. He tried to flinch but he couldn’t move at all because the girls were holding him in place forcefully. It was disgusting.

“Ass up!” Nadine ordered.

The girls turned Louis around, pushed his head down onto the hard floor and the others made him kneel so that his bum was up in the air.

“What a cute little bum you have, Louis,” Nadine said while she caressed it softly first, then slapped it hard with Louis’ belt.

Louis yelled out in pain. Was she insane? He was scared to death about what was coming next. Louis couldn’t stop crying, he was at his wits’ end. He felt exposed, humiliated and degraded. The tried to scream from the top of his lungs again to ease the pain but it wouldn’t work. How long had they planned to keep him here? What was their plan? Louis had problems to breathe through his nose only and tears were streaming down my face the whole time. Nadine hit Louis again and laughed at his pain.

“Will you be a nice boy for us, Louis?” she asked teasingly while she let the belt glide softly over Louis’ body. “Because if you promise to be good, we might be gentle, you know,” she said and pulled his chin up that he had to look her in the eyes.

Louis’ face was twisted in pain. His eyes were bloodshot and teary. He nodded desperately and tried to speak through the scarf.

“Shhh, don’t talk, pretty baby,” Nadine whispered and walked away. “I will make you feel so much better in a few seconds.”

The girls talked about gloves and lube just when Louis felt something cold dripping onto his whole. He flinched in panic but the girls immediately reacted. Two held his arms, two fixed Louis’ legs with tape. Then he felt someone touching his whole gently at first. Louis’ body started to tremble. Nobody had ever touched him there.

“I’m afraid! Stop it, please, stop!” he yelled as loud as he could but nobody reacted.

He cried and sobbed bitterly but the girls only caressed his hair and ignored his pleas. Nadine circled Louis’ whole for a while, then she pushed her finger into the soft flesh. Louis was tight so she couldn’t push her finger in too deep but the sudden sting Louis’ felt made him scream from the top of his lungs. He had never felt such an intense pain bevore.

“Do you like that?’ Nadine asked him while she caressed Louis’ soaked cheeks. Louis shook his head frantically and tried to bear the pain somehow. “But that’s what fags do and I thought you might like it?”

“I’m sure you have to get used to it, baby. I’ll try again.” Nadine whispered.

“No! No!” Louis cried but nobody listened.

She pushed her finger inside again and again, until Louis nearly collapsed to the ground. “My idea was to try it without lube, you know,” she said while she rested her finger inside Louis’ bum. “But I’ve heard it hurts even more without and I didn’t want to hurt you that much.”

Louis whimpered. “Please stop it, please!!”

“What?” Nathalie said and freed Louis from his scarf. “What did you say? I couldn’t understand the words that were coming out of that pretty mouth of yours!”

Louis cried. “I said I promise I’ll stay away from Mr. Styles but please, don’t do this to me again!” the boy repeated.

“Oh no, baby,” Nathalie said, “I won’t stop yet. You haven’t even experienced half of the pleasure of being full.”

Suddenly Louis felt something soft tickling his whole slightly. “Maybe it won’t be satisfying enough for you but that thing was all I could find,” Nadine said and showed Louis the dildo. She squeezed lube onto it and let her hand run up and down the shaft. “That’s what fags do too baby, rubbing that cock nice and slow. Now you’re going to get a real good feeling, a real good one,” Nadine said, kissed Louis’ forehead and walked over to his bum while Jessica coveren his mouth with the scarf again.

Without warning, Nadine showed the dildo into Louis’ whole. The pain was unbearable. It was an agonizing sting that nearly ripped Louis apart. He yelled out as Nadine started to pump the dildo in and out. This was torture, so painful that Louis was nearly passing out. Tears of pain and despair were running down his face while the girl took this thing out of his bum and they pushed him down onto the floor.

“Now turn around,” she ordered and gave the girls a sign to turn the boy onto his back.

There was fear in Louis’ eyes. Nadine stroked Louis’ hair and looked at the dildo she was holding in her left hand. “Maybe we’ve done it wrong? It shouldn’t hurt you that much. I’m sorry. Let’s try something else,” she said softly.

It wasn’t difficult to tell she really enjoyed torturing Louis. Louis’ eyes were wide, his breathing increased and his heart was about to explode as fast as it was beating in his chest. Jessica and her friend held Louis’ arms close to the floor so they made sure he couldn’t get out of his position. Nadine took the dildo again while Jenna bended Louis’ legs. As Louis tried to close his legs, the girls changed their positions quickly. Jenna and Jessica held Louis’ legs while the other girl was sitting onto Louis’ wrists.

“Let me try it again. I’ll be gentle.” Nadine spread Louis’ legs even more and run her fingers down his tights. “You’re so beautiful Louis, it’s a shame you’re gay,” she remarked while she came closer to his face, pushed the scarf aside and kissed Louis on the lips. Just when he was about to yell again, she pushed two of her fingers down his throat. Louis gagged terribly what caused him to cough. He hated her so much. Then she put the scarf back over his mouth. “It won’t be that bad, you’ll see,” she cooed into his ear. Louis couldn’t react. He just lied there, shivered and cried.

Nadine’s hands travelled down Louis’ body until they reached his whole. “You’re so beautiful Louis.” she repeated and let her fingers run up and down his rim. She squirted a lot of lube onto the black dildo and pushed it into Louis’ whole without warning again. Louis nearly collapsed because of the stinging burn inside of his butt. The pain was so much worse than before. Louis struggled to breathe while tears were streaming down his red face. He tried to push his hips up to ease the pain but it didn’t help at all. He was writhing in pain. Nadine just laughed, pulled the dildo out a few inches just to push it back inside again. Louis gasped. This was hell, this was torture and he wasn’t aware that such intense pain existed. Suddenly he noticed something ripped inside of him and seconds later he could feel a liquid leaking out of his whole. Was he bleeding?

“Stop it, please, it hurts so much, please stop doing this!” he cried but Nadine just shook her head.

She put the black dildo back into the box and took a bigger one out of her huge bag. “This was just the beginning, Louis. This is a real thing.”

Louis was paralyzed. It was so big in his eyes. Nadine took the dildo and let it touch Louis’ face. She wouldn’t . . .

“This is what you should like, baby boy. This is what faggots do when they have sex.” Nadine was sliding her hands up and down the fake penis.

She poked Louis’ burning whole with the toy. The boy’s eyes were opened widely, full of fear and pain. “I want you to make you understand that gay sex is disgusting Louis. I want you to understand how much it hurts to be gay.”

Jenna caressed Louis’ face gently but her touch felt so rough, so disgusting and humiliating. Nadine looked around, pulled Louis’ jacket off his chair and put it under his bum. Then she touched the whole with one of her fingers again and said: “Such a cute little asshole this is. I wonder if you have you ever had a real dick in there?”

Her words were already causing Louis pain because he could only vaguely imagine what he was about to feel during the next minutes. He wished one of the girls would feel sorry for him and could help me out of this night mare. “Help me, please!” he pleaded but Jenna was only caressing his cheek.

Nadine glared at Louis. “I think you haven’t yet so let me show you”, she said and slowly pushed the dildo into Louis whole, “how it really feels.”

The pain it caused was unreal, the stinging Louis had experienced before was nothing compared to this excruciating burn. She pushed the dildo deeper slowly and every inch hurt as hell. Louis screamed from the top of his lungs and I tried to free himself again. The pain in his bum was unreal.

“Stop it, stop it!” Louis screamed. He nearly passed out when Nadine continued to push the toy inside again and again.

Nadine laughed. “Are you enjoying it being a faggot? Does it feel good to be that full?” Louis couldn’t scream anymore because he was too weak. Nadine finally stopped her assault and pulled the toy out of his bum. It was covered with blood.

“That’s what happens when you like sucking dick and get fucked in the ass.” she said while getting up.

She threw the dirty dildo into Louis’ face and kicked him in the balls. Louis arched his back because of the tremendous pain that filled his whole body. Then the girls went away and left Louis behind: raped, wounded and humiliated.

 

Suddenly Louis felt someone touching his arm and calling his name. Louis panicked immediately. “No, please, don’t do that to me again! Stop it, get away from me!” he yelled out and hit his arms out in all directions.

“Louis! Baby, it’s over!” a low voice said calmly. “You had a nightmare . . . I’m here!”

Louis slightly opened his eyes and saw Harry standing next to him. Louis was exhausted, his forehead and his hands were covered in sweat. His head felt hot and Louis’ breathing was quicker than usual.

“What . . . where are the girls . . . what . . . are they gone?” Louis stammered confused.

“Lou, you had a nightmare,” Harry said and caressed Louis’ hair.

At this point, Louis realized that it was actually only a dream. He covered his face with his hands and sighted. “How did you find me?”

“I still had a lot of work to do and when I passed the classroom I heard someone screaming so I thought I should have a look and then I saw you sleeping in here,” Harry said quietly.

Louis bowed his head because he got reminded of his dream all of a sudden. It seemed so real that Louis broke out in tears. Harry wrapped his arms around the younger boy and held him close while he was sobbing against his chest.

 

When they came home, Louis told Harry about the nightmare. “Sometimes dreams express our biggest fears,” Harry answered. He put his arms around Louis and pulled him into a warm hug. “I’m sorry that you had this nightmare, it must have been horror.”

“Does it really hurt when . . . you know, when . . .” Louis asked Harry shyly and made a gesture.

Harry smiled. “It might hurt a little but if people are gentle and use a lot of lube it’s fine,” he explained. “Always depends.”

“I’m afraid of this kind of sex,” Louis said quietly.

“To be honest, butt sex is one of the best things if it’s done properly but no worries – I won’t force you to try.”

Louis smiled at Harry and kissed the man’s mouth. He didn’t let go as he hovered over him. The kiss got hotter and Harry couldn’t hide a little smile while he let his tongue interact with Louis’. He let his hands run up and down Louis’ back. Louis continued to kiss Harry when he touched his nipples through the shirt. When Louis stopped, Harry took off his shirt, let it fall onto the floor and smirked at Louis. Harry gave Louis another kiss as he noticed his insecurity.

“You’re doing well. Keep going and don’t think too much about what you’re doing, just try,” he smiled and leaned in for another deep kiss.

Louis led Harry into the bedroom where he pushed him onto the bed. He wanted to be active this evening, he wanted to try all these things Harry had done to him and most of all he wanted to return something to Harry. Louis straddled Harry’s lap as he licked over his nipples gently at first but when they got hard he tried to bite them softly. His actions caused Harry to moan what aroused Louis too and it didn’t take long until his bulge grew slightly. Harry got up and pulled off Louis’ shirt too. While they kissed, Harry touched Louis’ nipples too and gave them little pinches.

Louis pushed Harry back again and opened his zipper. He pulled Harry’s trousers down and looked at the bulge that was showing through the fabric. Harry was so big that it hurt. Louis touched Harry’s length slightly with his fingertips then he moved his hand across the fabric but pulled the pants down within the next seconds. Harry chuckled and winked at his boy. Then he lied back onto the bed, crossed his arms behind his back and enjoyed his view. Louis wrapped his hand around Harry’s penis and gave him a few strokes. Harry put his hand onto Louis’.

“Careful, baby, don’t pull the skin too much,” he said.

That wasn’t how Louis had pictured it. He wanted to be good to Harry but obviously it wasn’t that easy. “Sorry . . . I . . .” he stammered and flushed.

Harry shook his head and smiled at him fondly. “It’s okay, just have another try,” Harry gave Louis a kiss again and leaned back with closed eyes. “See, I won’t watch you. Just explore and do whatever you like to.”

Louis stared at Harry’s length at first. He was so big and his penis wasn’t even fully hard yet. He wrapped his hands around him again and started to stroke slowly. Louis could feel how Harry got harder. From time to time, Louis gave his tip a few quick licks and even took it into his mouth gently. He was too afraid to hurt Harry but he seemed to enjoy Louis’ actions because he let out soft moans and grabbed Louis’ arm.

“Faster baby, faster, please!” Harry almost whimpered and pushed his hips up just as Louis had done it before. “It feels so good baby, so good!” Harry exhaled and tightened his grip on Louis’ arm.

Louis tried to pump faster but it was hard for him to find a steady rhythm. “I’ can’t do it properly,” he said sadly and pulled away his hand. “It’s so frustrating, seriously.”

Harry looked at his boy, cupped his face and kissed his eyelids. He got up and took an orange bottle out of his drawer. “It’s easier when it’s wet,” he said and handed Louis the bottle. “Keep going.”

Louis felt like an idiot. Was that so difficult? He sat down next to Harry and squeezed a little bit of lube onto Harry’s penis. He wrapped his hand around Harry’s length again and tried to spread the lube as good as he could. To Louis’ surprise, Harry was right. It was much easier with the lube. Louis could control his movements better than before and Harry seemed to like it too. He grabbed Louis’ thigh and squeezed it when Louis’ grip around Harry’s throbbing length got stronger. He stroked him faster and tried to find a good position he could hold for the next minutes. It seemed to work! Harry’s body tensed up, his breathing got quicker and his grip on Louis’ thigh almost hurt but as it was a sign of pleasure, Louis didn’t mind. He slowed down his speed again and squirted more lube out of the bottle.

“Oh Jesus, that feels so fucking good!” Harry panted while Louis continued to move his hand along Harry’s hard length. When Harry started to moan slightly again, Louis increased his speed. The wet sound of the lube made him horny too while Harry’s body twitched and he released pearly ropes of cum all over Louis’ hands. The deep moans Harry let out while coming aroused Louis so much. He looked at Harry’s beautiful face while he recovered from his orgasm and caressed his face.

“You look so beatiful,” Louis smiled at Harry who returned the smile. Then Harry nuzzled close to Louis and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and closed his eyes. Louis kissed his temple what made Harry exhale loudly. “Thank you so much for the pleasure, you did so well baby. I love you.”


	84. An important evening

Louis hurried home when he had finished his training on Friday. There wasn’t much time left to get ready for their evening so he had to be quick. Harry was already getting ready when Louis came home. He was standing in front of the mirror, trying to fix his curls. He looked stunning although he only wore his blue skinny jeans and a simple black button-up shirt. Although his hair wasn’t done yet, his look was mind-blowing.

“Wow!” Louis whispered amazed. He just couldn’t stop staring at Harry who just winked at Louis.

“Here Louis, put your clothes on and you’ll look amazing too,” Laura said with a smile and handed the boy a pile of clothes while Harry went into the bathroom.

“I’ll do Harry’s hair and then it’ll be your turn.”

Louis undressed quickly and put the clothes on. He had bought them with Lauren a few days ago: skinny black jeans, a black shirt with an orange print and a blazer jacket. Louis wasn’t used to wear blazer jackets but that one looked good on him, especially in combination with the shirt it didn’t feel too classy. Louis went into the bathroom.

“Wow,” Louis said astonished when he saw Harry. His curls weren’t messy at all. They still looked natural and fluffy but they were put in place what made him look like an angel.

“Do you like it?” Laura asked.

“He looks so pretty.”

Harry reached out his hand for Louis and kissed his knuckles. “Thanks baby.”

“Wait until you see him wearing his hat!” Laura smiled. She put a few curls into place, applied a little bit of hairspray and squeezed Harry’s shoulders. “Alright, you look the bomb. You’re next.” Laura said to Louis and pushed the boy into the bathroom.

Harry sat down on the bath tub. Lauren took a little bit of wax and started to define certain strands of Louis’ hair. Louis was very pleased with the result: his hair looked defined but still messy as he usually liked it.

“That’s it,” Laura said after she had fixed Louis’ hair with hairspray too. “You two look amazing!”

Harry and Louis hugged and kissed Laura as a thank you. Then they went out of the bathroom to get completely ready. Harry took his dark-green velour coat off the coat-hanger, put his brand-new black Saint Laurent boots on and pulled his black hat out of the wardrobe. Louis’ literally stood there, his mouth wide open. He had never seen Harry dressed that elegantly. He always looked amazing but this was too sexy. Louis almost forgot to close his mouth.

“You . . . you look like . . . like a model. . . ” Louis said in amazement.

Laura smiled. “The hat fits him so well, doesn’t it? He didn’t want to believe me. Good someone else said it too finally,” she winked at Harry who flushed a little.

“Thanks.” Harry smiled.

While Louis was putting on his jacket and shoes Harry called Louis’ dad quickly. The boy took the letter for his mum from the dresser and put it into his pocket. When they were about to leave the apartment, Laura stopped them.

“Wait. Before you leave, I’d like to take a few pictures of you two. You look stunning.” After Laura had finished, Harry and Louis said goodbye to her and walked to Harry’s car.

Louis was incredibly nervous when Harry pulled the car out of the parking lot and drove along the empty streets of Holmes Chapel. His dad had sent Louis a message that he was already at his café with his mum. Louis was insecure and scared of the encounter. Would everything turn out the way he wished for? What if something went wrong? What if his mum wouldn’t talk to them at all? Louis thought of many different horror scenarios and got more and more nervous. That was why he stayed very quiet during the drive and didn’t talk much. Louis’ whole body was incredibly tensed. While they were driving along the motorway, Harry put his hand on Louis’ thigh.

“Don’t be scared baby,” Harry said while squeezing Louis’ thigh. “I’m sure everything will turn out the right way this time.”

When they arrived in Runcorn, Louis’s nervousness increased. It was impossible for him to calm down and he nearly felt sick when they reached the café. He really thought he would vomit during the next minutes if it didn’t go away.

“I feel sick,” Louis said and nearly gagged. It was horrible, he had never been that nervous in his life.

“Come here,” Harry said softly and pulled the younger boy into a long, warm hug before they stepped into the café. “It will be okay, trust me. I’ve only met your mum a few times but although she was nothing but rude to me I can tell that wasn’t her real self.” He gave Louis a soft kiss and took Louis’ hand into his. “I’m here with you and I love you.” Louis leaned his head onto Harry’s arm but stayed quiet.

When Louis stepped inside the café, he couldn’t spot his parents anywhere because the place was too crowded. A familiar scent tickled his nose, the same scent that he had smelled before when he got here for the first time a few weeks ago. Harry talked to a nice waitress who gave them a sign to follow her.

“Don’t be afraid,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear and squeezed his hand gently. The waitress led them through another room that was separated from the main café. At the end of the room there was a small wooden door with a small glass window. When they approached it, Louis’ heart was pounding immensely. He could hear the voices of his parents coming from behind the door. The waitress knocked and opened the door carefully. Louis wanted to pull his hand away but Harry held it tightly and gave Louis a small kiss on his temple.

When the waitress went away, Harry and Louis entered the lovely decorated room. His parents were sitting in a corner next to the window. Jay turned around on her chair and her facial expression showed Louis that she had no idea they would be coming too. Her facial expression was shocked but also kind of happy? Louis couldn’t quite tell. Jay got up and walked towards Harry and Louis slowly. She had put her hands in front of her mouth and Louis thought she must have been crying a short time ago because her eyes looked red and sad.

Harry pulled his hand away from Louis and walked over to Troy. Meanwhile Jay touched her son’s face gently as if she couldn’t believe he was there. Then she burst into tear and hugged Louis tightly, sobbing loudly into his neck. Her whole body was trembling as she tried to catch her breath to say something but she wasn’t able to speak. Undefined sounds left her mouth while her tears were wetting Louis’ shirt. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and caressed her back while she cried like a little child.

“Darling, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say!” she sobbed as she was cupping Louis’ face and kissed his cheeks over and over again. “I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through, I’m sorry for slapping you and I’m sorry for everything Lou! I love you, please forgive me, please.” She put her hands in front of her face and cried bitterly. Louis pulled her into a hug again and held her trembling body as close as he could.

“It’s okay,” he whispered into her ear. “It’s okay, don’t cry,” Louis held her until she pulled back a little. Then the boy put his arm around her waist and guided her towards the table where Harry and his dad were seated.

She obviously was in inner turmoil and wasn’t able to speak. Louis’ dad turned towards her. “Jay, I know this would be overwhelming for you,” he remarked while touching her arm gently. “I’m very proud that you agreed to come here and I want to thank you for that.”

Jay was still burying her face in the palms of her hands while small sobs escaped her mouth. Troy looked alternately at Louis and Harry. “Thank you for coming,” Troy said. “Jay and I have already talked about some things this evening,” he said and gave Louis’ mum a small smile to a calm her a little.

When she finally took her hands off her face Louis could see that her skin was pale and he could notice how uncomfortable she felt. He caressed her shoulder slightly. Jay looked at the tabletop, cleared her throat and tried to speak. Her voice was still trembling and it was clearly noticeable how hard it was for her to find the right words.

“I . . . I don’t know how to start but . . . first of all I want to say that I’m incredibly sorry for what I have done and said to all of you.” Her voice almost cracked. “I’ve made so many mistakes and I’m aware of the fact that . . . that I can’t take them back.”  
Jay’s eyes watered again and small sobs escaped her mouth as she was trying to wipe away her tears.

“It’s okay mum, we all make mistakes,” Louis said but she shook her head.

“It isn’t okay darling, it isn’t.” Jay rubbed her face and sighted loudly. “I was unfair, rude and I said some inexcusable things to you,” she said seriously and looked at Louis.

Then she focused on Harry while she tugged a hair stand behind her ear. “I have no words left to say how sorry I am for treating you the way I did.”

Harry just looked at her, no judgement in his eyes. “I wish I could apologize for my behavior but I don’t know how.” Although Jay made the impression she had calmed down a little she was still struggling to speak. She looked directly at Harry. “Mr. Styles . . . Louis is a very smart boy, talented and sensible. If Louis likes being with you . . . I mean . . . if he likes you so much as he said it’s clear that you must be a very special person, just a she is.”

It was very quiet in the room so that you could nearly hear a pin drop. Suddenly something inside her snapped and she blurted out everything that had must have lied heavy on her conscience.

“First of all, I want to thank you for saving my son’s life . . . I don’t want to imagine what could have happened if . . . if you wouldn’t have helped him.” She paused and looked at the tabletop. “That horrible incident wouldn’t have happened if I had been more reasonable, so basically it was my fault. I know you said that to me back then and you were right. I’m sorry.” She sighted. “I have to admit that I was hurt, the difficult circumstances concerning my family gave me a hard time and everything was a mess. But . . . I don’t want to use this as an excuse. I just want to tell you what I’ve been through.” Jay took a sip of her tea. “I was so selfish and bitter during these months and I have to admit that I . . . I was incredibly disappointed when I found out that . . . Louis . . . that he liked you this way.” She almost started to cry again. “It’s not a secret that I knew my husband was gay, I knew he was with a man back then but the point is . . . I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit it because it hurt my feelings so I started to pull up a wall around me. I hated Troy for being gay. I hated him for falling for a gay man. I was sad, angry and disappointed back then when Troy tried to tell me about his secret feelings. His admission only intensified how I felt about myself: unwanted, unloved and rejected. We moved to Holmes Chapel because I wanted to escape of this misery. I wanted a new start for all of us and I wanted to forget about Troy and his boyfriend.” Jay paused and rubbed her face with the palms of her hands. “It worked quite well until I found the note.”

Harry was listening to her attentively and Louis was so proud of him, so proud.

“I know my son very well and I could tell something wasn’t right but . . . he didn’t talk about it and I was too occupied with work and my other children. When Louis told me he wasn’t into girls, I thought he was joking. But when I found the note . . . it was clear that . . . Louis was telling the truth. The mere thought of my son being gay hurt me again . . . it’s so hard to describe and I don’t think anybody would understand what I felt but it was like . . . it felt like another man would take my son away from me, just like this man had done it with my husband. It was such a hurtful experience and it should be repeated again? I literally lost my mind and couldn’t control my feelings anymore.” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry,” she said and exhaled loudly.

Then she turned to Louis. “Louis . . . you have to believe me . . . I didn’t want to hurt you. I know I did and I know you must have thought that I hated you but seriously, it was never true! I love you so much and all I can say is how sorry I am for hurting you so much.” Jay started to cry again. “l have no idea how to make up for what I’ve done to you but you have to believe me that I love you. I love you more than you will ever know and I have always loved you, even when I wasn’t able to show it.”

Jay’s face was in tears and she sobbed bitterly when Louis wrapped her arms around his mum. He held her close for several minutes until she calmed down. “I’m so sorry, I just don’t know what else to say,” she whispered and covered her face again. Louis caressed her back gently.

After a while Jay finally managed to pull herself together. She exhaled loudly before she turned her attention to Harry again. “Mr. Styles, I don’t know what I can do to make up for my mistakes. All I can tell you is that I deeply regret all those hurtful things I said to you, I regret every single word I threw into your face and I really want you to know that I’m very, very sorry.” She sighted again. “I have no idea if you can forgive me, but that’s all I beg for.” More tears ran down her face as she tried to speak again. “Please Mr. Styles, please forgive me,” she said barely audible, her voice thick with tears, then she bowed her head.

“I will forgive you, of course,” Harry said with a calming voice. “Don’t worry about it anymore. We all make mistakes and I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you, especially as a mother.”

He got up his chair surprisingly, walked over to Jay and gave her a small hug from behind. Harry’s reaction seemed to overwhelm Louis’ mum. She got up and gave Harry a hug too. She cried and sobbed bitterly in his arms.

“I really appreciate your words Mrs. Tomlinson,” Harry said softly. “Thank you for your apology again.”

Louis and his dad were touched by Harry’s lovely gesture. Louis was so proud of Harry. He was such an angel, he truly was. When Jay pulled away, Harry went over to his chair again. Troy hugged him too and whispered something into his ear.

“I’m so embarrassed, Mr. Styles . . . I can’t even look you in the eyes without feeling guilty. And I think that’s what I deserve . . .” Louis’ mum said sadly and wiped her eyes.

Harry reached out his hand to her and waited until she put hers into his. He cupped Jay’s hand and looked at her. “Please don’t punish yourself. It’s okay, it really is. I forgive you.”

His voice was so comforting, so loving. Louis’ mum looked up and gave Harry a small smile. He returned it, pressed his lips together and squeezed her hand slightly. “Everything will be fine,” Harry said and pulled his hand away gently.

“You don’t know how much your words mean to me. Thank you very much.” she said quietly. Then she turned to Louis again and took his hand.

“Louis, you need to know that I had the feeling like my family broke apart for the second time. I didn’t want it to happen, that’s why I did all these horrible things to you. I had to organize everything on my own, the job, my children . . . I mean . . . everything and it wasn’t easy for me at all. I didn’t want to believe you, I just didn’t want it to be true so I tried to change you . . . I even threw you out of my house . . .” Jay said sadly and bowed her head. Her last words came out as a whisper.

Louis hugged his mum and held her tight. “I’m so sorry Louis, I can only repeat what I’ve said before . . . you’re my son and I love you, no matter what. I said all those hurtful things to you but I didn’t mean them, I really didn’t. I love you so much.”

The situation was so emotional for everyone. Louis was nearly overwhelmed by his mum’s words, the way she said them and how honest she was about everything that had happened. Jay touched his heart so much and just in that moment Louis realized how much he had missed her during the last weeks. He noticed that even his dad wiped away a tear.

“I love you too, mum and I’m also sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it either and I really want to forgive you. I love you so much,” Louis said and caressed her cheek a little what made her smile.

“This is so strange for me now,” Jay said when she sat down again.

“I’m sure it is but . . . you should know that I’m proud of you, Jay. I’m proud that you were honest and that you were so brave and opened up to us,” Louis’ dad said and gave her a small smile. “You did so well and I think we all are relieved that you did. Thank you so much.”

Jay flushed a little. "You’re all so nice to me although I really don’t deserve that after everything I did to you.”

Louis shook his head. “Don’t worry, mum. Don’t worry about it. You apologized and it’s fine, just as Harry said.” He gave his mum a little kiss onto her cheek. She pulled her son close for a short moment and gave him a kiss onto his hair. “I love you.”

After a while Jay seemed to calm down finally. Her tears had dried, her voice got normal again and she even smiled a little.

“I think it’s time to have dinner, what do you think?” Troy asked. “You’re invited,” he smiled and got up to get the menu.

After everybody had chosen something to eat and drink, Troy went out to order the food. When he came back, the atmosphere had calmed a little bit.

“Mrs. Tomlinson, may I ask you something?” Harry asked politely.

“Everything you want.” Her tone was friendly and she gave Harry a small smile.

“There’s one thing I still wonder about. Why didn’t you report me for being with Louis when you found out that I was his teacher?”

Louis’ heart dropped when Harry asked the question. “I didn’t do it because of Louis,” she answered. “When Louis went away a few days ago, he left a note. He told me that he was with you and this was the point where I stopped and thought about it. The fact he gave me the information was so brave and significant for me that I decided to respect his decision,” she explained. “I realized how important you were for him and I didn’t want to hurt my son again although I was still not happy about the situation.”

“Thank you.” Harry answered with a nod. “I’m glad that you didn’t do it.”

“You’re welcome,” Jay answered.

It didn’t take long until the food was served. Troy talked about his café and the atmosphere wasn’t that tensed anymore. Louis enjoyed his burger, Harry ate some fries and toast and Troy shared a plate of sandwiches with Jay. Louis was so hungry that he even ordered a second burger within ten minutes.

“By the way, there’s also good news. I will change schools in a few months,” Harry said and took a bite of his toast. Everyone looked at him. “My contract in Holmes Chapel is going to end soon and then I’ll just stay at school for a special project,” Harry explained. “Today I got the contract from my new school in Northwich. I’m going to start there at the beginning of February.”

“Congratulations!” Troy said and Jay nodded. “That’s good news.”

Louis looked at Harry who gave him a nod and a small smile. The boy couldn’t believe his luck. Harry wouldn’t move far away from him because Northwich was just a few miles away from Holmes Chapel. Louis was so happy but didn’t dare to say something because he was still a little bit shy because of his relationship situation and if he was honest to himself, he didn’t want to talk about it in front of everyone. He didn’t know if his mum thought they actually were in a relationship or if they were just friends so he decided to stay quiet about it.

Jay was very interested in Harry and she just didn’t stop asking him questions. Harry didn’t seem to mind and answered all of them and told her a lot of personal things. What he did after he had finished school, how he decided to become a teacher and what he liked about the job.

Troy also started talking about his school time that seemed to be very funny since he always managed to cause trouble with his friends. Everyone laughed about Troy’s stories in the end and they even brought tears to Harry’s eyes. His laughing sounded lovely as he covered his eyes and shook his head. The atmosphere got more and more relaxed the more time passed and Louis was really happy.

“Oh, that reminds me of something,” Jay said and giggled. “When I was in high school . . . I had a crush on my arts teacher.” Everyone looked at her.

Troy laughed out and frowned. “You? Seriously? I had no idea!”

Jay nodded and smirked. “I haven’t told you that because it never was such a big deal but I remember how I used to make a greater effort when it came to my works because I wanted to impress him.” She shook her head. “My friends were teasing me about it but not in a bad way. But that was all. I never thought about meeting him or something, it was just a little crush.”

Troy couldn’t stop laughing about it but Louis felt a little dizzy when his mum mentioned her little crush. Harry shook his head and smiled. “I think it’s something almost every adult has experienced before,” he said and winked at Louis who flushed. Luckily his parents didn’t notice.

“I mean . . . I know it’ not unusual but . . . I wonder how you two met?” Jay asked quietly.

Louis nearly choked on his fries. Why was she asking that? Louis didn’t want to talk about it in front of his parents. He was too embarrassed and let out a breath he was holding when Harry started talking. He told her about Louis’ accident at the school yard and how he took the boy to the doctor’s after they couldn’t reach anyone at home.

“You are such a kind person, Mr. Styles. How could I be so rude and disrespectful towards you . . .” She shook her head and pushed her hair back. “Thank you so much for your effort, others wouldn’t have done it.”

“It’s fine. I liked Louis and he was in pain – there was no other possibility for me than to help him,” Harry answered and smiled.

Troy patted his back. “Since the first day I met you I knew you were a great guy, Harry.”

“Thanks,” Harry smiled and took a sip of his water. “It’s normal for me to help, it’s not a big deal rally.”

Louis was relieved that they changed the topic quickly and didn’t talk about Harry and him anymore. It was about ten o’clock when everyone decided to end the evening. Troy hugged Jay and thanked her for coming.

“I just want you to know that I still love you, Jay.” he said. “I might have a boyfriend now but you’ve been my wife for so many years and nothing can change my affection and love to you, even if it’s on another level.”

He took Louis’ mum’s hands in his and squeezed them. “I’ll be there for you and the children, no matter what. I’ll continue to pay for them and if something shouldn’t be okay, just call me. Don’t hesitate. Would you be happy about that?”

Jay had tears of joy in her eyes. She nodded and hugged Troy again. “Thank you so much for everything,” she said and wiped away a tear. “You don’t know how much that means to me. The kids will be happy to have their father back.”

Troy smiled at her. “I can’ wait to spend more time with all of you again.” Then he walked over to Harry to say goodbye to him.

Meanwhile Jay turned towards Louis. “Darling, I just wanted to tell you that I’d be very happy if you would come back and live at our house. I won’t kick you out again. I promise,” she said and gave him a warm hug.

“I would love to,” Louis whispered into her ear and gave her a kiss. “Can I stay at Harry’s for tonight? I’ll come home tomorrow, if you’re okay with it.”

Jay nodded. “That’s fine. And you don’t need to call, come home whenever you want and just ring the doorbell,” she said in a warm voice. Then she turned towards the others. “I have an idea. What do you think about a family brunch at our house next weekend?”

“That’s a great idea. We could all meet and talk about everything.” Troy smiled. “I like your idea. I’d be very happy to meet everyone again.”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t come over during the week to spend time with the kids.” She paused and bit her lip. “What do you think about . . . I mean . . . would you like to bring your boyfriend too?”

There was silence all of a sudden. “Oh . . . Jay, that would be great. Do you really mean it?” Troy asked quietly.

Jay nodded. “Of course I mean it.” She put her arm around Louis’ shoulders. “And Louis . . . Harry can join us too if you like him to.”

Louis couldn’t believe her words. He looked at her baffled for a few seconds but then he threw his arms around her neck and squeezed her. “Oh thank you mum, thank you so much!” He gave her a few kisses onto her cheek.

“Thank you for the invitation, Mrs. Tomlinson,” Harry said when Louis’ mum walked over to him. “I would love to join you.”

Jay smiled at him. “Please call me Jay, Mr. Styles.”

“I’m Harry then, nice to meet you, Jay!” Harry smirked and reached his hand out to her.

Jay shook it but then she pulled him into a hug. “I’m happy you accepted my offer,” she said when she pulled away. “Troy, I thought it was the best idea to organize this evening. It was hard and unpleasant for me at first but . . . it was necessary. I couldn’t be happier now.”

Jay’s words were nice and it seemed like everything would be good in the end. Before they left the room, Jay pulled Louis close. “Harry is a wonderful person, just as you are,” she whispered and gave Louis a kiss.

When Louis was about to leave the room, Jay walked after him. “Wait . . . just a second . . . may I ask you if . . . I mean, are you and Harry . . . together?”

Louis looked at his mum and nodded. She just looked at him but then she nodded and gave her son a small smile. “You made a good choice,” she smiled. Then Louis turned around and left the room.

 


	85. Relief

Louis felt incredibly relieved on their way home. He wasn’t expecting his mum to react that way at all and it made him so happy. When he stepped into Harry’s apartment, Harry pulled him into a tight hug, his arms wrapped tightly around the boy’s waist.

“I heard your mummy said something nice about me this evening,” he said quietly and looked fondly at Louis.

“Maybe she did so,” Louis replied with a smile. “Thank you for everything,” Louis mumbled as he leaned his head onto Harry’s chest.

“You’re welcome, love,” Harry answered and kissed Louis’ forehead gently. Then he cupped the boy’s face with his hands and looked deep into his eyes. “There will be no more secret meetings when it comes to your family, isn’t that nice,” he smirked and pulled the boy closer again.

He let his fingers run down Louis’ face as he touched his chin and pulled it up for a gentle kiss. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and pressed his body closer to him. Harry licked over Louis’ lips and when the boy opened his mouth a little, the kiss became more intimate within seconds. Harry suddenly pulled away. When Louis wanted to kiss him again, he shook his head.

“Stop teasing me!” Louis whined.

Harry gave him a smirk. “No, I won’t. In case if you forgot, there’s still something you have to be punished for.” Harry’s voice was slow and incredibly sexy. He took Louis’ hand and pulled him into the bedroom. “I think tonight’s the night daddy should show you how.”

Harry’s tone and his words made Louis’ stomach flutter immediately. Harry closed the door and pressed Louis against it. “I’ve been wanting you the whole evening,” he whispered into Louis’ ear and let his tongue run over Louis’ earlobe.

Harry’s hot breath let Louis’ body shiver. His curls tickled Louis’ when Harry leaned in and kissed the sensitive skin of Louis’ neck. It didn’t take long until Louis could feel his bulge grow. Louis started to unbutton Harry’s shirt a little while Harry was just watching him. Harry gave Louis a wet kiss while the boy ran his fingertips over Harry’s nipples. Harry kissed Louis roughly again when he took off Louis’ blazer and pushed his hands under Louis shirt to take it off too. His kisses got rougher and sloppier as he pushed Louis onto the bed and hovered over him, his legs parted between Louis’.

Harry wouldn’t stop looking at Louis’ who was pinned down on the mattress. He held his hands over his head and leaned down. “Daddy will take care of you tonight,” Harry whispered as he licked over Louis’ lips again.

Louis’ body was so ready for Harry that he squirmed under his breath. Harry looked so hot in his half-buttoned shirt that showed his chest tattoos that Louis couldn’t wait to touch him. The boy was already aroused by the look of his boyfriend and the hot kisses only. The way he talked to him made everything worse. Harry’s impact was so huge and it somehow felt different his evening. Louis loved to be manhandled by his boyfriend. He loved it so much that a tiny squeak escaped out of his mouth when Harry started to give his nipples a quick lick. They were so sensitive and Harry’s warm tongue felt heavenly.

As Louis wanted to kiss Harry, he pulled away. It was only a few inches but enough for Louis not to reach his lips. Harry smirked at the boy and looked deep into his eyes. Louis tried again to reach him but Harry didn’t let him. This little game aroused Louis and Harry seemed to notice. His hands touched Louis’ bulge slightly.

“You like that, don’t you?” he whispered slowly and let his tongue brush over Louis’ lips again what made the boy lift his head to lean into a kiss but Harry pulled away once more.

He shook his head. “Don’t get impatient, baby,” he smirked and let his thumb run over Louis’ lips while his eyes were focusing Louis’. Harry turned Louis’ head to the side gently and let his tongue brush over his ear and neck. He nibbled slightly at the soft skin below Louis’ ear while his hands started to touch Louis’ nipples again. The moving of his tongue against them and the combination of using his tongue and fingers caused Louis to whimper quietly again. He wouldn’t have anything against it if Harry chose to do this for hours. When Harry pinched them slightly, Louis could nearly feel little explosions in his lower tummy. He buried his hands into Harry’s dense hair and pushed his hips up.

“More Harry, please!” the boy whined. Harry came closer to Louis’ face, gave the boy a rough kiss and stopped his actions.

“That’s not my name here, isn’t it?” Harry said with a frown. His voice was loud and he squished Louis cheeks harshly

“Sorry daddy, I won’t mess it up again,” Louis tried to say.

Harry gave him a kiss again. “Good boy.”

Then Harry leaned down again to suck Louis’ nipples and left a wet trail of kisses down Louis’ tummy. Harry started to unbutton Louis’ jeans that were showing his excitement clearly by now. When Harry had pushed Louis’ jeans away, he hovered over the boy again and looked deep into his eyes. “I can see your excitement, baby,” he cooed and kissed Louis again. “And I find it really appealing.”

Louis wanted Harry to touch him already so he pushed his hips up again. Harry looked Louis directly in the eyes and pushed his hips down again without touching his crotch. “Stop that,” he said loudly.

Louis whimpered. He loved that tone and the way Harry looked at him. The boy bit his lip and nodded while he explored Harry’s face with his fingers. Harry took Louis’ hand away from his face and kissed every of his fingertips before he interlocked his hand with Louis’ and pushed it aside gently. Harry leaned in for another intimate kiss and continued to play with Louis’ hard nipples. Louis enjoyed that so much that he tried to touch himself through his pants.

Harry immediately grabbed Louis’ hand and held his wrist tight. “No baby, don’t touch yourself yet,” Harry ordered and pinned both of Louis’ arms down to the mattress. “Be patient, just as I’ve told you before.” Harry’s voice was calm but decisive.

“Daddy please!” Louis groaned loudly and bit his lip. “Please touch me there!”

Harry shook his head and placed a hand over Louis’ mouth. “Shhh, don’t talk. Daddy is here for you but you have to be a good boy and listen to what he tells you, okay?” his voice was so soft but still serious.

Louis nodded. He wanted to touch Harry so bad but he was still fully clothed so Louis tried to unbutton his shirt again while they were kissing. Harry stopped immediately, grabbed Louis’ chin between his thumb and his index finger and increased the pressure.

“Have I allowed you to touch my shirt?” Harry’s voice was louder than before, even rude.

Louis tried attempted to wriggle out of Harry’s tight grip. “No daddy, you haven’t,” he whimpered as Harry pushed back Louis’ head onto the bed.

“Don’t dare touching me or yourself without my permission again!” Harry was still holding Louis chin and looked him in the eyes. Harry nodded. “Fine. But if you will do it again I’m going to tie you up,” Harry said softly and caressed Louis’ cheek. His little game drove Louis insane, he enjoyed it so much and he really wanted Harry to punish him, he really did.

Harry hovered over the boy again and slid his hands down Louis’ torso, gently touching his crotch. Then he lowered his face and breathed against Louis’ inner tights. He licked and nibbled at the skin before he moved his head over Louis’ crotch where he just let his hot breath brush against Louis’ swollen length. Harry made sure he never touched Louis there and when he did this for another time, Louis just couldn’t stand the tease anymore. He pushed his hips up for the third time and tried to touch himself again what made Harry push Louis’ hand away harshly. He hovered over Louis and pinched one of his nipples harder than he had done it before. It hurt but Louis kind of liked it.

“You’re a bad boy today, Louis. I told you not to do that,” Harry said nearly aggressive while his eyes sparkled. “I think it’s time for your punishment,” he whispered into Louis’ ear. His hot breath made Louis squirm under Harry’s body and his filthy look made the tension in his crotch build up even more.

Harry pushed Louis’ hands above his head. “Stay like that, don’t move.” Harry ordered and climbed off the boy. He took his trousers off quickly before he went over to his dresser and opened a drawer. “You are going to wear these from now on so you won’t be able to touch yourself again.”

Louis turned his head to the side and saw that Harry held handcuffs in his hand. Harry smirked and walked back to the bed. Louis’ heart was pounding. What would happen to him? He wasn’t afraid really but excited about the new experience he would face in a few seconds.

“Turn around,” Harry told Louis and showed him the direction. “And now hold your wrists up,” Harry ordered.

Harry put the handcuffs around Louis’ wrists and wrapped them around the pole of his bed. He didn’t look at Louis at all while he made sure he was cuffed properly. Louis tried to move his arms but it didn’t work. Harry shook his head.

“If you want me to touch your dick, you have to do something for me,” Harry said with a filthy tone.

He put the key onto his bedside table and leaned in for a slow French kiss. Louis didn’t want it to stop because it increased the tickling in his stomach and it felt so good. Louis’ nodded desperately. He felt his penis throb and he would have died for a touch from Harry who started to undress slowly and threw his shirt away. Then he pulled off his pants too. He looked deep into Louis’ eyes as he started stroking himself slowly. On one hand, Louis felt a little embarrassed as Harry started stroking himself in front of him again but on the other hand it was so appealing and sexy as he was looking directly into Louis’ eyes. Louis gulped. His mouth became dry and he wanted to touch Harry so bad. Louis tried to move his arms but he couldn’t.

Harry gave him smirk. “Would you like to make daddy happy now?” he asked Louis who nodded quickly, biting his lip.

Harry arranged the pillow under Louis head and made sure Louis was comfortable. He stared at Harry’s body, licked his lips and bit them while Harry hovered over the boy and kneeled down in front of his face. This man looked so sexy and he was such a tease. Harry gave his penis a few more strokes. “Lick that tip,” he said quietly and made sure Louis couldn’t reach it the first time. “Yeah baby, try to get daddy’s tip into your mouth,” Harry said and looked at Louis who was trying to reach Harry’s tip with his pink tongue again. After Louis had managed to give Harry’s tip a few licks, he moved a little closer to Louis’ face.

“More.” Harry demanded and pushed his penis back and forth in an unsteady rhythm. Louis licked over the parts he could reach and tried to do as well as possible. The handcuffs were obstructing his movements a lot. “You’re doing so good, baby, so good.” Harry said softly and caressed Louis’ cheek with his hand. “Now open your mouth for daddy.”

Louis did so and Harry pushed his penis into Louis wet mouth slowly. He made sure it wasn’t deep because Harry didn’t know how much Louis could take. Louis moved his tongue around Harry’s length and sucked a little what mage Harry moan slightly.

“That’s my boy, oh my god,” Harry moaned and closed his eyes. “You’re doing so well, fuck!” Harry’s breathing got quicker while Louis tried to find a way to please Harry with his tongue. It wasn’t easy at first but after a while he found a certain way to move his tongue around Harry’s length and his moans and facial expression showed that he liked it. He applied a little bit more pressure here and there and repeated his actions. Harry seemed to really like it because his cheeks flushed and Harry’s penis was constantly getting bigger in his mouth. Harry looked directly into Louis’s eyes as he pushed his penis into Louis’ mouth again and again.

“Oh my god baby, you’re doing so well! Wrap your lips around it, just like that!” he breathed and leaned his hands against the wall to steady himself. After a while Harry pulled away. He leaned in for a kiss before he gave himself a few more strokes in front of Louis. “You did well but you know . . . I think you enjoyed this little experiment too much.” Louis bit his lip and flushed. Harry leaned down and bit Louis’ lower lip. He pulled it with his teeth and let go again, then he kissed him roughly again.

“Open your mouth again!” he said loudly as he pushed his penis against Louis’ mouth.

The boy opened his mouth as Harry wanted it and Harry pushed his penis into Louis’ warm mouth slowly again. Then he propped himself up against the wall again and suddenly started to thrust it forward without warning so that Louis nearly chocked for a second. He coughed and spluttered while Harry continued to use the boy’s mouth for his pleasure.

“Are you suffering?” Harry asked teasingly while he continued to move his hips forward in a steady rhythm. “That wouldn’t have happened if you had listened to me,” Harry said in his raspy voice. Harry pulled his penis out for a few seconds and let Louis have a break.

“Is that okay baby? I mean if it’s too much we can stop it and . . .” Harry said gently but Louis just shook his head. “Are you sure?” Harry asked the boy again but he just nodded and smiled.

“I actually like it very much,” Louis said quietly and flushed.

Harry gave him a gentle kiss and caressed his hair. “Okay. If you want me to stop just tell me,” Harry said and leaned in for another soft kiss.

“Please daddy, please touch . . .” Louis whimpered but Harry just pushed his penis back into his mouth forcefully and started thrusting again. “Fuck Louis!” he moaned and pulled back after a few seconds. “If you don’t stop begging, I’ll shove my dick down your throat until you can’t take it anymore,” he said harshly but pulled his penis out, holding it inches away from Louis’ mouth.

“Did you hear me?” he asked loudly and Louis nodded.

“Alright so . . . show me what you’ve learned so far,” Harry said and came closer to Louis’ mouth again. “Suck daddy’s tip again!”

Louis loved that game so much. He looked Harry in the eyes and wrapped his mouth around Harry’s tip but Harry pulled away again and pinched Louis’ nipples that he cried out in pain and pleasure.

“You’re not listening to daddy, are you? I think it’s about time to punish you even more!” Harry hissed into Louis’ ear and gave it a lick. “I said suck it, not lick it!”

Louis couldn’t talk properly. He just let out a tiny squeak when Harry started to kiss his body again and nearly reached his crotch area. “You’re so big already, look at this huge dick!” Harry said before he spat into his right hand and gave it a few, awful slow strokes. Harry’s touch and the wetness felt sensational and Louis couldn’t help himself. He was desperate for more friction and pushed his hips up to get more of it. Once more.

Harry pulled away from Louis what let the boy whimper loudly. “No baby, that’s not the way it goes. Open your mouth again,” Harry ordered and hovered over the younger boy again within seconds.

He pushed his penis inside of Louis’ mouth again and gave him a few deep trusts. He was rougher this time so that Louis gagged even more and tears were wetting the corner of his eyes. “You didn’t . . . behave . . . well at all . . . and daddy . . . just has t . . .  do . . . this to you.” Harry said in between his aggressive thrusts.

He grabbed Louis’ hair and pushed his head forward so his penis nearly slid down Louis’ throat. Louis spluttered again, he couldn’t breathe properly and he felt saliva running down his chin. Louis couldn’t control his gag reflex at all. Harry’s assault was pushing him to the edge as he gagged and spluttered like crazy every time when Harry’s tip touched the back of his throat. When Harry pulled his penis out of Louis’ wet mouth it was red and smeared with spit and pre-come. He looked at Louis for a while and caressed the boy’s face gently.

“You did well for daddy, didn’t you? Oh god, you’re so beautiful, baby.” Harry whispered and leaned in for a kiss. “I think that’s enough for now, ” Harry said, took the key from his bedside table to open the lock of the handcuffs. Harry kissed Louis’ wrists and pulled the boy up. He run his fingers through his messy hair and leaned in into another intimate kiss. Harry’s touch was so gentle, a complete contrast what had happened in the last minutes.

“What do you want me to do to you now?” he asked Louis quietly.

Louis’ cheeks flushed at Harry’s words because he was too shy to tell him exactly what he wanted him to do. Harry seemed to notice Louis’ insecurity and caressed Louis’ cheek. “Hey baby, don’t be shy. I’m your daddy. I’ll take care of you.”

His voice was so soft but raspy at the same time. Louis bit his lip and looked down. “Okay, you don’t need to tell me.  I think I know something you might like. Just lie down and enjoy, alright?” Louis nodded.

He pushed Louis down gently so that he halfway sat onto the bed. Harry spread Louis’ legs, touched the boy’s penis with his hand and gave it a few strokes. Then he lowered his head down and gave it a strong lick. Harry circled his tongue around Louis’ tip and pulled away what let Louis let out a quiet moan.

“You want more, don’t you?” Harry said and took the boy into his mouth again while Louis buried his hands into Harry’s hair.

He let his wet tongue swirl around Louis’ tip a few times, pulled away and started to use his hands in combination with his warm mouth. Harry let his wet tongue swirl over Louis’ tip and his whole length over and over again. Then he suddenly stopped and reached out for the small orange bottle that was placed on his bedside table. Harry squirted the gel onto Louis throbbing penis and started to run his hand up and down. The sensation of the wetness felt even more intensive when Harry’s grip got a little bit harder and his speed increased slightly. Harry found a steady rhythm and moved his hand along Louis’ penis what made Louis squirm under Harry’s touch. This felt too good, it felt amazing and the tickling feeling grew from second to second. Louis’ breath increased and he let out quiet whimpers and moans while Harry was touching him.

“You’re so good for daddy and you’re so needy, aren’t you?” Harry asked but Louis was too dazed to answer. Harry gave Louis a kiss while he was still pumping him, slower this time. He let his tongue run along Louis’ ear and nibbled at his earlobe. “You are allowed to push your hips up whenever you want and as hard as you want to,” Louis breathed into Louis’ ear what made the boy whimper again.

Louis leaned his head against the wall, closed his eyes again and buried his hands into Harry’s hair rougher than before while Harry moved down again to lick and suck Louis’ balls softly while he was holding his penis in one hand, pumping it nice and slow. What a sensational feeling that was. Then Harry took it into his mouth again, let his tongue circle around the tip while he wrapped his hot mouth around Louis’ length too and moved his head up and down, sucking at his boner. His grip got stronger and he applied more pressure to Louis what nearly made him explode.

“Please daddy, don’t stop!” Louis nearly yelled while he tugged Harry’s hair. “Oh . . . my . . . fucking  . . . god!” the boy panted, pulling Harry’s head closer.

The sensation was overwhelming, almost too much and he wasn’t sure if he could last  a lot longer. The tension in his crotch grew rapidly and Louis just couldn’t stop himself from pushing his hips up forcefully. Harry let Louis thrust into his mouth without restrictions and he did it so hard. Harry reached out his hand to play with Louis’ hard nipples while he shoved his penis harder into Harry’s wet mouth.

All of a sudden Harry stopped sucking Louis. He pulled his hands and mouth away, propped himself up onto his hands and leaned in for a gentle kiss. “You are close, aren’t you?” Harry asked teasingly and licked over Louis’ lips.

His breath was so hot against Louis’ skin. Louis wrapped his hands around Harry’s muscular arms while he leaned in for another kiss. He breathed a panting, quiet yes into Harry’s mouth while their tongues brushed against each other. Harry pulled back after a few seconds but Louis tried to reach him for another kiss. He needed the touch, He needed to feel Harry all the time.

“You’re so hot when you’re desperate, I love that,” Harry teased and pinched Louis’ nipples a little bit too hard then he intended. Louis let out a little cry but Harry immediately soothed them with soft kisses and let his index finger trail up and down Louis’ chest.

“As I told you, you won’t be coming too soon this time,” Harry said. “I want to hear how needy you are, how much you want me to touch you.” Harry kissed Louis slowly and although Louis tried to kiss Harry rougher, he wouldn’t let it happen. This was hell.

“Please Harry, please touch it again,” Louis cried. “If you won’t do it, I will!”

Harry shook his head and grabbed both of Louis’ wrists with his right hand. “Oh no, you won’t. I’ll handcuff you again so it won’t happen. And second, that’s not my name.”

He pressed Louis’ wrists together what made Louis squirm but Harry was too strong. “Sorry daddy! I was just so desperate, please, don’t handcuff me again!” Louis whimpered while Harry started to wrap the metal around Louis’ wrists again.

“Please just stop and touch me down there, please!” Louis begged and pointed towards his red, swollen penis.

Harry kissed his temple. “Wait until I’ve finished here,” Harry whispered and closed the handcuffs.

When he had cuffed Louis, Harry sat down next to the panting boy. He just looked at him. He was clearly just as aroused as Harry was but he couldn’t control it as much as he could. That was sexy. Harry let his fingers trail along Louis face, down his neck and his chest. He looked so innocent, so delicate and soft. Louis’ cheeks were flushed, his body was sweaty and his chest rose and fell quickly because he couldn’t breathe normally. Louis wetted his lips with his tongue and pressed them together while he tried to wriggle out of the handcuffs. Harry smiled softly at his hopeless try and leaned in for another, teasing kiss that let Louis’ penis twitch slightly.

“Please daddy, please touch me!” Louis pleaded whining. “Please, I need it so much!”

Harry smirked at him. “You’re so hot when you’re begging for daddy’s touch, so appealing.”

Harry’s words and his tone let Louis squirm again. Harry gave him another kiss and hovered over the boy again. He started to stroke his penis in front of Louis again and talked to the panting boy who looked directly into his eyes.

“Do you wish daddy would touch you like this?” he said incredibly slow, pumping his hard length. “Watch daddy wanking himself. Do you like it?”

Louis pressed his lips together and nodded. Harry tilted his chin up. “Look me in the eyes and tell me how much you wish it was your dick.”

“Very much, I wish it was mine. Please daddy, don’t torture me like that!” Louis pleaded. Harry stopped touching himself as he held his right hand in front of Louis’ mouth. “Spit onto it, baby, make it wet.” Louis spat but there wasn’t much saliva coming out of his mouth. “Try again.”

When Harry’s hand was wet enough, he put his hand against his length again and gave his penis more strokes that got quicker fast. His breathing increased as he was wanking himself in front of Louis. “If daddy comes now, he won’t let you orgasm today,” Harry said under his breath as he was increasing his movements.

“No, daddy, please!” Louis whined and squirmed. “I need to come today!”

“Then convince daddy how needy you are, tell me and I’ll stop.”

Louis bit his lip again. “Daddy, please stop touching your dick. I’m so needy, I can’t stay like this for long and I really enjoy your touch down there,” Louis whined. “Please don’t torture me that way and let me come, please!” Louis nearly cried. “And please free me, it hurts so much. I promise I won’t touch myself until you allow it, please!”

Harry nodded. “Alright baby, that was good. Daddy will free you and let you feel good again because you were such a good boy.” Harry finally gave in. He gave Louis a small kiss and opened the handcuffs.

Louis immediately ran his hands through Harry’s hair and pulled him close to kiss. Harry smiled and moved down to Louis’ crotch again where he gave his penis a few teasing licks, then wrapped his hand around the wet penis again and started pumping it slow but steady. The arousal increased so Louis squirmed under Harry’s touch again. Louis pushed his hips up but Harry wouldn’t increase his speed what drove Louis crazy. The feeling was incredible and this torture was so sweet. Louis’ whole body was on fire when the boy felt the sensation of Harry’s wet mouth around his length again. Harry was so good at this, so good. He sucked, licked and touched Louis’ penis without a pause what nearly brought the boy to his orgasm. When his body twitched a little, Louis let out a loud moan because he was so close.

“Oh god daddy, please make me come!” he cried, hoping for Harry to let him release finally. It was so hard, the pressure was there and Louis’ nearly exploded.

Just in that moment, the telephone rang. Harry smirked and started to handcuff the boy again. “You shouldn’t be able to touch yourself while I’m away,” he said gently, kissed Louis’ forehead and went out of the room.

While Harry was on the phone, Louis tried to imagine how it would feel to come and just the mere thought of it made him whimper quietly. The pressure in his lower stomach was nearly unbearable, he felt hot and his penis was twitching and throbbing. He needed a touch, a friction, something. Louis closed his eyes to distract himself from the torture but as hard as he tried, he couldn’t concentrate on something else.

A few seconds later, he heard Harry entering the room again but he was still talking on the phone. Harry put a finger in front of his mouth. He sat down onto the bed, wrapped his hand around Louis’ penis and started to give the boy gentle strokes. It was so hard for Louis to contain his temper and not to whimper or moan because the feeling Harry was giving him was so sensational. Harry’s touch felt amazingly good but it just wasn’t enough for the state Louis was in. Harry’s touch was a hell of a tease. His strokes stayed slow and gentle. No matter how often Louis pushed his hips up, he wouldn’t change a thing about it. After a while, Harry went out of the room again and left Louis alone until he had finished his phone call. It felt like ages until he came back finally.

“Baby, how are you feeling?” he asked teasingly as he walked closer to the bed. He didn’t even wait for Louis’ answer. “You’re close, aren’t you? Shall daddy finally help you out of this?” Harry asked quietly and pointed at Louis’ hard length.

“Yes! Please help me out, I can’t take it anymore!” Louis begged whining.

“What’s my name again?”

“Daddy, please help me out!” Louis said and Harry nodded.

He freed Louis from the handcuffs and gave him a kiss before he kneeled between the boy’s legs. Harry licked over Louis’ tip gently without applying much pressure. He let Louis’ penis slide into his warm mouth slowly just to pull it out again what made Louis moan. Harry took the boy deeper into his mouth and combined the movements of his hand and mouth again. The warm, pleasant feeling increased and Louis’ arousal grew steadily as pushed up the hips again. Harry let Louis do it without interrupting him. Then he pulled his mouth away and sucked Louis’ nipples roughly, let his tongue circle around them and let his hand slide up and down Louis’ throbbing length. Louis squirmed and moaned over and over again what made Harry to intensify his grip and pump Louis faster. The boy gasped when Harry slowed down his movements again.

“Daddy, I can’t take it anymore!” Louis was close to tears. “Why do you punish me like that?” The pleasure was so intense and the feeling had never been that consuming that he couldn’t control his emotions anymore. “Please stop teasing me I can’t bear it any longer,” Louis begged him loudly. His voice was weak and his brain wasn’t working properly. “Please stop teasing me, I can’t!” Louis panted, his hands gripping the sheets forcefully.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re needy,” Harry whispered. Wonderful, you look so hot. And now I can see you really need to come,” he said with his raspy voice as his eyes scanned Louis’ face.

“Oh my god!” Louis moaned loudly and pressed his head into the pillow. He covered his eyes with his hand. “I can’t . . .” he whined desperately. “Please daddy, please help me out! Please!”

“Get up,” Harry ordered and sat down against the bedhead. “I will make you come now, just come here,” he said and squirted a huge amount of lube into his right hand.

Louis sat down between Harry’s thighs and leaned his head onto Harry’s broad chest. He bit Harry’s neck a little while Harry wrapped his left arm around the boy’s torso and held him close.

“Alright baby, let’s make you come now,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear as he wrapped his wet hand around Louis’ penis and started to spread the liquid while gliding his hand up and down the boy’s length.

Harry didn’t tease him this time. He tightened his grip right away and pumped Louis qfaster and faster. Louis’ breathing got hotter and he moaned almost all the time while Harry pleased him. Louis’ buried his head into the crook of Harry’s neck, nibbled and sucked his skin. Harry’s touch felt heavenly satisfying and it didn’t take long until Louis’ body started to twitch and shiver. The heat that was crawling up his whole body was sensational and the boy just couldn’t contain himself anymore. He was a whimpering and panting mess and Harry kissed him gently. The pressure was nearly unbearable and Louis had the feeling he would explode under Harry’s touch. While Harry was jerking him off, he whispered dirty words into Louis’ ear. Louis lifted his head and tried to kiss Harry but he couldn’t quite concentrate on the kiss. It got sloppier every second and Louis moaned his name into Harry’s mouth because of the sensation he felt in his lower stomach.

“Come for daddy, Louis! You’re so close and you’re doing so well!” Harry said and pumped Louis as fast as he could. “Show daddy how much you want this, how much you need it.” His breathing was hot against Louis’ ear again what nearly brought him over the edge.

Louis felt the increasing pressure in his lower stomach tighten as he grabbed the sheets and tightened his grip around Harry’s waist. He was so close that his body started to tremble within seconds. He lost control over his body when Harry gave him the final strokes that let Louis come furiously. The release was so sensational that Louis let out a load moan while his legs were shaking and he squirmed under Harry’s touch. It took him several minutes to recover from his forceful orgasm that was stronger than anything he had experienced so far.

Harry held Louis close until he recovered and pressed sweet kisses against his temple. “You did fucking well, Louis,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear and leaned in for a gentle kiss. “And you lasted so much longer than the last times, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Louis whispered. “That was amazing.”

Harry smiled. “You’re welcome. It was so hot, seriously.” He got under the covers with Louis and spooned him from behind.

After a while Louis turned around and gave Harry a kiss. He caressed his hair gently and let his index finger explore Harry’s face. “What do you think about . . . I mean, I would like to make you feel good, too.” Louis said quietly and felt a wave of heat rush through his body.

Harry smiled at him and kissed his nose. “I’d love that, I’d really do,” he answered and wrapped his arms around the younger boy to pull him closer. “Is there anything special I could do?” Louis asked into Harry’s chest. His words came out as a muffled sound. “Oh god, I’m so embarassed.”

Harry giggled. “Hey, I’ve fucked your mouth, you shouldn’t be.”

Louis put a hand over Harry’s mouth but smiled at him. “If you keep holding your hand like that I won’t be able to tell you what I like,” Harry mumbled against Louis hand and he took it away

“My dick felt so hot in your mouth. Would you mind if I put it in again?”

Louis nodded. This time Harry asked Louis to kneel on the carpet in front of the bed and Louis obeyed. “Do you want to take daddy’s dick into your filthy mouth again, yes?” Harry breathed after they had been kissing for a while. Louis nodded. “Then open your mouth and let daddy use it the way he wants.”

Harry’s words let Louis feel the tickling in his lower stomach again. How could someone be so sexy? Harry’s voice turned Louis on and he couldn’t do anything about it. Harry grabbed Louis’ hair and started thrusting into his warm mouth.

“It feels amazing, baby. Don’t move, okay?” Harry purred and started to move his hips faster.

“Your mouth is so wet, you make daddy feel so good,” Harry moaned as he pushed his penis further into Louis’ mouth.

Louis spluttered again and saliva ran down his chin. Harry enjoyed that view so much that he thrusted harder and deeper into Louis’ mouth. The boy gagged and nearly choked but Harry didn’t stop. His warm mouth was such a tease and the feeling of his tongue swirling over Harry’s tip felt too good to pull away. He started panting and whining when he was close to his high. Louis didn’t move his head and let Harry pleasure himself as he liked to. He gagged and spluttered again but he didn’t want to stop. Harry was absolutely out of breath and he couldn’t articulate himself in a whole sentence anymore.

“Can I . . . I’m close . . . baby . . . I need . . . release . . . into you . . .” Harry stammered while he was thrusting into Louis’ mouth forcefully but the boy didn’t move at all.

He wanted to please Harry, he wanted to give him everything he wanted and no matter what would happen, he wanted to do it because of Harry. Harry’s moans got louder and his breathing was so fast that it didn’t take long until he came into Louis’ mouth with a load moan. Louis gagged a little again and coughed after he had swallowed Harry’s load. “Jesus you did so well!” Harry panted as he kissed Louis harshly. “Thank you so much baby, thank you.”

Louis and Harry went to the bathroom where they showered quickly. Then they covered themselves with the thick covers and cuddled up against each other. Louis kissed Harry’s neck gently and let his fingertips run along his torso.

“I wasn’t aware of the fact that my little boy could be such a slut for daddy,” Harry cooed into Louis’ ear. “It was amazing.”

Louis just smiled gave Harry a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Harry answered and caressed Louis’ hair gently while he looked deep into his eyes. “You know, there are so many other things I want to show you . . .”

Harry’s tone sent shivers down Louis’ spine. He touched Harry’s nipples slightly. “I can’t wait to experience them with you,” he answered and chuckled. Then he turned around again and pressed his back close to Harry’s chest. Harry wrapped his arms around the boy again.

“Lou?” Harry asked after he was almost drifting asleep.

“Harry?”

“I can’t wait to meet your family next weekend,” Harry said and closed his eyes.

 


	86. The week after

Louis left Harry’s after they had breakfast the next day. He was happy to see his family again and he was excited to meet his mum and sisters after the nice evening at the café. The only thing he wasn’t sure of was Lottie’s reaction to everything. Had his mum talked with her? Had she told everyone about the meeting?

His twin sisters came running towards him immediately. Louis opened his arms and kneeled down to give them a tight hug.

“Louis is back!” Phoebe yelled and jumped up and down. “Louis is back!”

Jay and Fizzy came out of the kitchen too. When Fizzy saw him, she ran towards him, jumped onto him and wrapped her arms around her brother. She gave him a firmly squeeze.

“I’ve missed you so much Louis, so happy that you’re here again!” She smiled and let go of Louis. Then she took his hands into hers. “I’m so glad that the meeting with dad and mum turned out so well, you can’t even imagine how happy we all are!” Fizzy said and ruffled through Louis’ messy hair. Why did she only mention their dad? Hadn’t she told them about Harry too? When Louis went into the kitchen to greet his mum Jay gave her son a huge smile, opened her arms and pulled him into a warm hug. “I’m so glad you’re back again,” she whispered into his hair.

“Doesn’t Fizzy know about Harry?” Louis asked quietly when he pulled away.

Jay shook her head. “I only told them I would meet with Troy – like it was planned.”

Louis nodded. “Maybe it’s better that way.”

His mum caressed her son’s arm. “I thought it’s none of my business to tell them about Harry. You should do it and I think you have plenty of time to do so today,” she remarked.

“Yeah, maybe it will be better if I do it, you’re right.” Louis nodded and took off his shoes.

“Oh Louis,” Jay sighted while she walked back to her son. “Lottie is in her room, maybe you should talk to her first?” she asked.

Louis did so. He went upstairs and knocked onto Lottie’s door. Why did his mother want him to talk to her? Had she changed her opinion on him?

“Who is it?” Lottie asked.

“Louis.”

It took some time until the door was opened. Lottie just looked at her brother with a neutral expression.

“Hi,” she just said and sat down onto her bed.

Louis closed the door and leaned against it. “Mum said I should talk to you.”

Lottie pulled her legs close to her body and stared out of the window. Her face was empty and she didn’t even try to look at her brother. Louis looked around her room and walked over to her make-up table to sit down on the small, pink stool.

“Go away from there!” Lottie suddenly yelled.

Louis frowned. “Why?”

“Because it’s my room! You can use my beanbag instead,” she answered unfriendly, got up and threw the bag toward Louis.

“What’s wrong with you? Mum said I should talk to you but she didn’t warn me about your bad mood, Lottie!” Louis’ voice rose.

“Nothing is wrong with me, look at yourself. Something’s wrong with you!” she shouted. “You’re the black sheep of the family, Louis!”

Louis threw the bean bag away. “Is this what you wanted to tell me? Did I come here just to get insulted by my younger sister?” Louis glared at her but then he noticed that Lottie was close to tears. “Just leave my room!” she yelled and buried her head into a pillow.

Louis shook his head. What was wrong with her? And why should he talk to her? Louis went into his room and closed his eyes for a few minutes before he went downstairs again.

Do you know what’s wrong with Lottie?” Louis asked Fizzy and his mum when he entered the kitchen.

Fizzy shook her shoulders. Jay looked at Louis and sighted. “I’m sure something happened but she doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s been in this mood for a few days now, we have no idea.”

Except Lottie’s mood everything was fine. Louis felt so good to be back at home and he spent the whole evening with his family. On Saturday they went to their aunt Carol who had made a huge chocolate cake for her guests. In the afternoon the family took out their sledges and went to the nearest hill where the kids could sledge perfectly. It was such a wonderful day with his family that Louis couldn’t get his smile off his face. Only Lottie wasn’t with them.

 

In the evening Jay, Louis and his sisters sat around the telephone in the living room and called Troy. It was so nice to hear his voice and especially Daisy and Phoebe were so happy during the whole call. Jay left soon to prepare dinner while her children continued to talk with their dad for at least one hour.

Lottie’s behavior during the following days was strange. She was away most of the time but when she was at home she would only sit up in her room.

“That’s her age probably,” Fizzy said when Louis told her about it. “I was the same when I was thirteen.”

 

On Wednesday afternoon Jay wanted to wash some clothes and she needed Louis’ help. “Lou darling, I wanted to wash Lottie’s dark jumpers too. She forgot to put them into the hamper but I know they’re lying on her bed. Would you get them for me please?”

Louis nodded and walked up the stairs. When he knocked onto her door, nobody answered so Louis carefully opened it. She wasn’t in there. Louis sneaked into her room and found her jumpers on the bed. But then he remembered Lottie’s strange reaction when he wanted to sit onto the stool. Why didn’t she want him to come close to her make-up table? Louis turned around and looked at it. Everything was tidy and clean. He pulled one of her drawers out and looked into it. Louis didn’t really know much about make-up so he couldn’t tell what those small boxes and packages were but just when he was about to close it again, he noticed a small steel box that was clearly different than all others. Louis pulled it out and opened it. The content shocked Louis.

Just when he was about to put it back, he heard steps outside. He closed the drawer and let the box quickly slide into his pocket. Then he took Lottie’s jumpers from the bed and walked out of the room.

“What are you doing in my room?!” Lottie yelled at her brother when she saw him.

“I’m helping mum with the laundry and you forgot to give her your jumpers,” Louis explained and slipped the clothes into her arms. “She’s waiting, now go and give them to her,” he said and pushed Lottie out of her room. The girl only muttered some words and went downstairs.

Louis went into his room and took the silver box out of his pocket. Why did Lottie need blades? He knew Lottie used razors but they but they had built-in blades. All of a sudden it flashed through Louis’ mind: What if his sister cut herself? Louis wouldn’t be surprised if that was the reason her reaction was so strange a few days ago. Louis remembered that exactly the right drawer was pulled out when he was in Lottie’s room. And something else was strange. Lottie would usually roll up her sleeves but since Saturday, Lottie was only wearing long sleeved shirts and jumpers. But what if he was wrong? Maybe he was just exaggerating and he just hadn’t notice that before? Louis didn’t know what to think but he worried a lot about his younger sister. He called Eleanor who came up with an idea. It didn’t take long and the girl rang Louis’ doorbell.

“Here it is.” She handed Louis a beautiful white silky shirt with a round hem. “I know she likes it very much because once she was at my house, she tried it on and we took some pictures,” Eleanor told Louis. “I wanted it to be her birthday present but I think now is the better time to give it to her.”

“Alright, your idea could really work.”

“If she won’t put it on, you’ll know because she loves that shirt.” Eleanor pushed her hair back. “I hope she will put it on because the imagination of her harming herself makes me sick.”

“But I think it would be better if you gave her the shirt. She’s on bad terms with me at the moment and I think she could refuse to put it on just because I’m with you.”

Eleanor nodded. “Okay. See you in a few minutes,” Eleanor said and went out of the room.

She came back soon. “No way, she wouldn’t put it on.” Her voice sounded sad. “She was so happy that I gave it to her but she didn’t want to wear it.”

“What was her excuse?” Louis asked.

“She said she was about to call a friend,” Eleanor said. “I asked her about putting in on later but she said she would leave in a few minutes.”

Louis and Eleanor spend the rest of the afternoon together and Jay invited her to stay for dinner. When Eleanor left, Louis went up in his room to do some homework but the boy couldn’t concentrate on his work. Louis just couldn’t stop thinking about his younger sister. He went to her room and put his ear onto her door. She was there, talking with someone while she was clearly looking for something in her room. Her voice sounded upset. Louis knocked onto the door.

“Wait!” Lottie yelled and her voice got quiet.

After a while she opened the door. Her hair was messy and her face flushed. The room looked like a mess, a giant mess.

“Can we talk please?” Louis asked softly.

Lottie nodded but her face was cold. She seemed a little bit nervous as she sat down on her bed. “What do you want to talk about?” she sked and gave Louis a sign to sit down.

“I’m sad because you’re not okay obviously,” Louis said.

Lottie bowed her head but stayed quiet. “Please be honest with me, Lottie. I’m afraid that you’re cutting yourself.” He didn’t know how his sister would react to his words but he didn’t want to beat about the bush.

“Why should I do that?” she hissed without looking him in the eyes. “You know shit about me, Louis!”

“Oh you think so? What about the shirt Eleanor gave you? Why didn’t you want to put it on? Why are you wearing only long sleeved shirts and jumpers lately? Can you show me your forearms right now? Would you do that?” Louis tried not to raise his voice too much.

Lottie didn’t respond. She just played with the sleeve of her jumper. Louis expected her to scream or shout at him but she didn’t. Instead, she wiped her eyes and when Louis looked at her again, she was close to tears.

“Why do you torture me like this,” Lottie sobbed.

Louis sat down next to her and pulled her close, In this moment she started to cry bitterly. Louis stayed quiet for a long time and just held his sister close.

“I love you, Lottie,” he said and gave her a kiss onto her hair. “That’s why I’m asking, not to upset you.”

Lottie put her head onto her brother’s chest and wrapped her hand around his waist. Louis waited for her until she was ready to speak. After some minutes she finally pulled away from Louis, sat down cross-legged and pulled her hair into a bun. Then she rolled her sleeves up that showed old and new scars on both arms. Louis was shocked although he had feared the worst. He gently touched Lottie’s arm and looked at her unbelievingly.

“Lottie, why are you doing this to you? It must hurt so bad . . .” Louis said softly while he was gently touching the scars on her arm.

“It doesn’t hurt when I cut, it feels good actually. It helps me to forget,” Lottie said and ran her fingers up and down her left arm.

“But what happened to you? Did someone hurt you? Please Lottie, let me help you,” Louis said quietly and took her hands in his.

Lottie looked sad. “It’s not that. It’s . . . it’s something . . . something that scares me,” Her voice was barely audible and Louis noticed her lip trembling. She was about to cry again and Louis rubbed her shoulder gently. Lottie gulped. “I . . . I kissed a girl,” she sobbed. “But the problem isn’t that we kissed because it was just a joke . . . the problem is that I . . . I . . . I liked it.” Lottie said with a teary voice and covered her face.

Louis couldn’t believe her words. “But Lottie . . . is . . . is this true? I mean, it’s not a problem at all but . . . I mean, do you still think I’m disgusting now?” Louis felt a little bad that he made his sister’s problem about him in this situation but he just had to know.

“I never thought that to be honest,” Lottie sobbed. “I just said it because I used to think homosexuality was weird, bad, disgusting. I was so angry and disappointed about myself, you know. I’m so afraid Louis. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to be gay. I want to be normal, like everybody else!”

“Hey . . . first of all, don’t label yourself. Just because you kissed a girl once it doesn’t mean you’re gay. You could like boys and girl or you could really just have a phase,” Louis said quietly. “And even if you found out that you were gay . . . so what? You would still be Lottie, you would still be yourself.”

Lottie had stopped crying and looked at Louis. “I don’t know.”

“Lottie, don’t worry about it too much. Just be yourself and do what you think is good for you.” Louis said and hugged his sister.

She wiped away her tears. Louis pulled out the silver box of his pocket. “Can we throw them away together? Maybe later, so that mum won’t see it?”

Lottie nodded. “Thank you for everything and Louis . . . I love you. You’re the best brother in the world and I’m sorry for being so mean and unfair to you.”

Louis smiled at his younger sister and gave her another hug and a cute kiss onto her cheek. “Everyone makes mistakes, Lottie. I’m happy you apologized. Let’s meet at midnight to throw the box away, okay?” Louis suggested and Lottie agreed.

When Louis lied in bed he was happy. Lottie seemed to be okay for now, his family was together again and his relationship with Harry was nearly legal.

The rest of the week went by quickly and Louis was looking forward to the brunch on Saturday morning. His sisters were also happy about it and went grocery shopping with their mum and Louis on Friday afternoon. The atmosphere was relaxed and happy – for the first time since Louis’ family had moved to Holmes Chapel.

 


	87. Family brunch

Louis woke up very early in the morning because he was too excited how the day would pass. He still felt a little bit uncomfortable when he thought about introducing Harry to his family, officially this time. How would they react if they found out he was his boyfriend? Louis still thought it was a dream because Harry was such a kind person and the sexiest man he had ever seen. He was attractive, no matter if he wore his expensive Saint Laurent boots or his sweatpants and a worn out jumper. His tattoos were unique and his hair was so pretty. Louis sighted. The mere thought of Harry let his stomach flutter tremendously. He sent him a short message and went into the bathroom to have a shower. Then he went downstairs where his mum and some of the girls were already preparing the buffet in the dining area. It smelled so good in the kitchen that Louis couldn’t wait and grabbed a few of the salmon morsels with horseradish and dill.

“Louis!” Fizzy yelled and swatted her brother’s arm. “Stop stealing our food! There will be nothing left for the guests!”

Louis laughed. “I’ll make up for it,” he chuckled.

“Stop bickering now!” Jay said seriously. “You better help me with the food here. We still have a lot to do before your dad and the others arrive. We need to make the dough for the little pizzas, someone needs to cut the vegetables, eggs need to be cooked and I wanted to offer a few more varieties of small sandwiches so better hurry up and help.”

“It’s fine mum,” Louis said and kissed her cheek what made her smile at her son. “I’m so happy to be back.”

“Me too,” Jay smiled and gave him a little kiss too. Then she continued to slice the ananas. “Oh by the way, I’ve invited Carol and your cousins too. We haven’t seen each other for so long so I thought that might be a good idea since this is a family brunch.”

 

After about two hours they had nearly finished everything. Daisy and Phoebe helped to set the table and Fizzy decorated it with flowers and petals. Lottie was nowhere to be seen so Louis decided to look after her. He knocked on her door and waited until she called him in. His sister was still in bed.

“Hey!” Louis said and smiled at her.

“Hi. We forgot to throw away the blades yesterday.”

Louis looked at her and frowned but Lottie gave her brother a small smile. “I threw them away on my own. When you went away I tried to sort out my thoughts and I really thought I was just panicking because . . . I don’t know.”

Louis smiled at her. “I’m glad to hear that. Do you really think you’re okay? I mean . . . you know, with the cutting?”

Lottie nodded and pressed her lips together. “I think so. I wasn’t doing this for a long time . . . it was a way to cope with it because I didn’t want to tell anybody . . . I think that I won’t need it anymore,” she said thoughtfully and reached out for Louis who came closer and hugged her.

 “Thank you for worrying about me and if you should notice again, talk to me.”

“I will.” Louis pulled away from her and took her hands. “But Lottie, I mean . . . Harry will be here today too and I’m afraid how you will treat him,” Louis said quietly, biting his lip.

Lottie nodded. “Yeah, mum told me. I think it might be a little bit weird because he’s a teacher at our school but . . . I will behave this time.” She smiled at the end of her sentence and gave her brother a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry, okay?”

Louis nodded and walked to the door. “Come on, we’ve already prepared everything. Maybe you could help mum cleaning the kitchen?”

“I’ll just take a shower and then,” Lottie agreed and got off her bed.

 

Jay and Louis’ sisters were getting ready for the brunch while Louis sat down in the living room. He wouldn’t have thought he could ever talk about Harry in this house nor invite him over. Louis was sure his sisters would love him although he was still working at their school but as Harry had pointed out it wouldn’t take long until he could start his new job. Everything would be okay then, wouldn’t it? Louis pulled out his phone and texted Harry.

Louis:                   Hi! I’m nervous, when will you be here?

Harry:                  I’m just getting ready and I’ll be on my way. Can’t wait to see you again!

Louis:          Can’t wait. I’m sure you’ll blow everyone away, won’t you?

Harry:         We’ll see. See you in a few minutes! ;)  
Oh and . . . thanks for the compliment, love!

Louis smiled at Harry’s messages and walked through the ground floor. His heart was hammering in his chest and he had the impression he had never been that nervous. Should he hold hands with Harry? Would Harry kiss him in front of the others? How would they react? Louis had no idea how he would behave in front of his family and this insecurity made him extremely nervous and shaky.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang for the first time. “I’ll open the door!” Louis shouted. His heart nearly stopped beating at the view. Harry was standing in front of him, dressed like a model and pretty as hell. His hair was loose, a little trimmed and defined. It looked so soft and fluffy. He held a boquet of white flowers in his hands and smiled fondly. Louis hugged Harry and they gave each other a small kiss.

“You look stunning, Harry.” Louis whispered. “Fuck.”

“Oh would you stop swearing? But thank you. I wanted to impress your family,” Harry smiled and stepped into the house. “And you, of course.” He smiled and kissed Louis’ temple gently what made Louis’ stomach flutter.

“Harry!” Jay yelled out and walked towards Harry with open arms. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“Good morning!” Harry said happily and hugged Louis’ mum. “These are for you. Thanks for the invitation.” Harry gave Jay the flowers.

“Wow, they’re so pretty. And you look amazing!” She buried her nose into the flowers and inhaled the discreet scent. “They smell wonderful, thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. And I can only give that compliment back,” Harry answered politely.

Jay swatted his arm playfully. “Oh Jesus, don’t exaggerate that much.” She smiled and Harry chuckled.

Then Jay went into the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. Meanwhile the twins came walking down the stairs. When Phoebe saw Harry she immediately ran towards him and wrapped her tiny arms around his waist.

“Harry!” she said loudly and nuzzled close to him, “Harry! I didn’t know you would come?”

Harry smiled at her and gave her a hug. “Hi! Yeah, I’m the special guest for today, I guess,” he said jokingly.

Daisy reached her hand out for Harry and smiled nicely. “Hi Harry!” she said quietly. Daisy had always been the shy twin, especially when it came to people.

Harry stroked her back quickly. “Hi Daisy, how are you today?”

The girl nodded. “I’m fine,” she said politely and took her sister’s hand.

“We got a new book from auntie Carol, would you like to read it with us?” Phoebe asked Harry as she reached out her tiny hand for him.

“Yeah, we could do that!” Harry smiled at the girls and took Phoebe’s hand in his. He gave Louis a wink and let the twins pull him into the living room where they sat down in a cosy corner. Daisy gave him the book and Phoebe snuggled close to him.

While Harry read the book to the twins, the doorbell rang again. It was their aunt Carol who was accompanied by her children Matt and Sue. Louis introduced them to Harry but didn’t tell them he was his boyfriend. He didn’t know how they would react and maybe there would be a better point in time to tell them how Harry was linked with Louis. Matt started talking with Harry soon and it seemed like they got on really well. Sue got occupied with the twins and Lottie at a certain point and the atmosphere was quite relaxed. Louis’ stomach fluttered when he looked at Harry. He looked so incredibly good. When he noticed Louis’ gaze, he gave him a small wink and smiled at him secretly what made Louis blush furiously. How should get through this?

After a while Jay joined them and it didn’t take long until the room was filled with voices and laughter. When Louis’ father arrived with his boyfriend Richard, everybody sat down on the table.

“I’m glad you’re all here today,” Jay said when it got quiet. “As you all know, a few things have changed in our lives during the last months - far more than we had expected at first.” Jay looked around carefully. “I thought we could spend a nice day together and . . . maybe this day could be a good opportunity to put everybody in the picture of what happened during that turbulent time.” Jay paused. She seemed to be a little nervous because her hands were shaking a little as she pointed to the sides. “Two persons in this room are especially welcomed today: Richard, the boyfriend of my husband and Louis with his boyfriend Harry,” Jay said and gave both men a warm, welcoming smile. “I’m glad that you came today and I hope that you’ll enjoy your time with us. Welcome to the family.”

Louis blushed when his mum said Harry’s name because he didn’t know that she had planned to tell everyone who Harry was. Harry noticed Louis’ nervousness and caressed his back gently. Everybody seemed to be okay with the information although Louis had the impression that Sue and Matt looked a bit puzzled but they hadn’t been home for months so it was normal.

“Alright then, I hope you’re hungry enough. Eat whatever you want, as much as you want and have fun!” Jay announced and sat down on her chair.

Everybody clapped their hands at Jay’s words. Matt and Fizzy were the first ones at the buffet, followed by Richard and Troy.

“Jay, the food looks fantastic!” Carol said and smiled at Louis’ mum. “Matt and Sue arrived this morning and I swear, they were starving. I hope the others will get enough to eat.”

“I don’t think we’ll run out of food today, we’ve got tons of it,” Jay smiled at her sister who pulled her close for a few seconds. “You’re such a strong woman, Jay,” Carol said quietly. “It’s a big thing that you invited Troy and Richard.”

There was a strange tension in the room at first but it didn’t take long until the atmosphere relaxed. Louis looked around. The twins and Fizzy were eating, Matt was talking to Harry about football, his dad’s boyfriend had a nice chat with Carol and Lottie. Jay smiled all the time and seemed quite happy. Louis was happy that the presence of Harry and Richard didn’t seem to be a problem at all because everybody was talking, laughing and having a good time. The atmosphere was so nice and relaxed and the food was delicious.

While they were eating Harry put his hand onto Louis’ knee and gave it a small squeeze. This little gesture made Louis’ stomach flutter and he flushed. Harry just smiled at him and continued his conversation with Matt. Phoebe suddenly leaned her head onto Harry’s arm while she was eating.

“Phoebe, would you get up and sit properly? You’ll make his shirt dirty!” Jay said to Phoebe who pulled away immediately. Louis’ smiled because of the normality of the sentence and because he knew that his sister had a little crush on him. After about an hour Phoebe and Daisy got up to play with their dolls. From time to time they went over to their dad and gave him a kiss which was very cute.

“Daddy, do you hate mummy now?” Daisy asked while she was wrapping her arms around her dad’s waist.

“I don’t hate he honey,” he answered and gave her a kiss.

“But . . . why is Richard your boyfriend then?” she asked and wanted to get up onto her dad’s lap.

Richard turned his head towards his little girl. Troy gave her a smile and pulled his daughter onto his lap.

“You know, I love your mum . . . I really do but . . . more in a friendly way. She is the best mum you could ever have, darling and I’m sure you know that.”

Daisy nodded. “I know. And I’m glad you don’t hate her.”

“I would never hate her,” Troy answered and gave Daisy a kiss.

Phoebe got up and sat down onto the chair next to her dad. “Daisy look, it’s the same with Louis. I mean, Chris is Fizzy’s boyfriend and Harry is Louis’”, she explained a little confusing but Daisy seemed to understand.

“So Richard is your boyfriend and you’re not mum’s?” Daisy asked her dad.

“Exactly. Things change sometimes,” Troy said with a sigh and Daisy put her arms around his neck to hug him.

“Will you move in with us again?” Phoebe asked.

Troy shook his head. “I’m very sorry, girls. I won’t live with you,” he said quietly.

The twins’ face fell a little. “Oh . . .” Daisy said and bowed her head. “I hoped you would.”

“You know, I have a job in Runcorn where I live with Richard,” Troy explained and pulled Daisy closer. “But no matter what, you and everybody else can always visit me. And if I want to see you or you want to see me, we just have to make a phone call and we’ll meet,” Troy said. “That shouldn’t be a problem at all, I promise. I could even stay for the weekend, if your mum would let me.” He winked at Jay who gave him a smile.

“Of course Troy, always,” she answered.

“See. I love you all and I don’t want to lose touch again but I won’t move in, I’m sorry.” He kissed Phoebe and Daisy and let Daisy slide down his lap.

“That’s cool, daddy,” Lottie said. “We’ve missed you very much.”

Troy hugged Lottie and gave her a small smile. “I’ve missed you too. Fizzy and you got so beautiful, I’m so proud of you both.”

It really was a nice day and the brunch was a full success. It didn’t take long until Harry and Richard were integrated into all conversations and they already felt like family. In the afternoon they all had a walk to the forest where they stopped at the small hill. The twins had taken their sledges with them and occupied Harry and Richard with their games. Daisy and Phoebe really liked the men and Louis could tell they enjoyed their stay as much as everybody else. Louis built a snowman with Matt and Sue while Carol, Troy and Jay were talking about random things while they waved and laughed at the twins from time to time.

When they came home Jay offered her guests cake, ice-cream, coffee and tea. Carol had made two cakes the day before and there was still enough ice-cream left. Everyone was eating their desserts happily while they were talking and laughing with each other. What a wonderful day that was. Louis couldn’t wait to see them all again around Christmas and of course, for his birthday.

 


	88. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. I hope you liked my story and if you did - don't forget to leave a comment or maybe a kudo. Thank you so much for reading!!! :*

After Louis had spent the Sunday afternoon with his family, he went over to Harry’s for the night. When Harry opened the door he was covered in flour. He gave Louis a small kiss and went back to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked and put his rucksack down.

“Something to eat!” Harry yelled.

Louis stepped into the kitchen. “Oh, really? You’re making pizza again? That’s so nice!” Louis said happily and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “I love your pizza!”

“Be careful, you’ll get dirty,” Harry said but Louis just chuckled.

While Harry was kneading the dough, Louis helped him to prepare the toppings. “I’m so happy that everything went well on Saturday,” Louis said while Harry was forming the dough into a smooth round piece and put it away to make in leaven.

“It went so well, yes,” Harry answered and gave Louis a small smile. “Your family is so nice but Phoebe is my favourite member.” Louis frowned. “But you’re my number one,” he added with a laugh and nudged his nose.

Louis chuckled. “Well said. But yeah, she’s cool and she has a little crush on you, clearly.”

Harry smiled. “I like her too but you know . . . I also have a crush on someone,” Harry said and turned towards Louis.

He grabbed the boy’s neck firmly and pulled him up from his chair. Then Harry cupped Louis’ face into his hands and looked him in the eyes before he pulled him close for a slow kiss. Louis kissed Harry back and wrapped his hands around his waist. He slid his hands down Harry’s butt and squeezed it gently.

“Are we back here for new experiences now?” Harry breathed into Louis’ mouth as he was kissing the boy.

Louis pulled his shirt out of his trousers and wrapped his hands around Harry’s waist. “Maybe?” he chuckled and looked him in the eyes.

“I mean . . . we have about one hour left and . . . I think it’s about time for daddy to play with you?” Harry said teasingly as he was pushing Louis out of the kitchen. “Daddy missed you a lot.”

Louis couldn’t stop kissing Harry. His words and this tone were so appealing and it took only seconds before he felt the special tickling in his tummy again. Harry was like a drug and Louis was addicted to him so badly. Harry pushed Louis onto the bed and hovered over him. He let his index finger slide all over Louis’ face and gave special attention to his lips. Louis’ chest rose and sunk fast as Harry let his hand trail over the skin of Louis’ neck and reached his nipples.

“I know you like when I touch you like this,” Harry purred and let his fingertips move over Louis’ nipples over and over again. Louis nodded desperately and lifted his head for a wild kiss. “I love when you’re so needy for me, my baby, so needy.”

Louis whimpered quietly when Harry pulled his shirt off and started to lick over his nipples. He gently rolled one between his thumb and index-finger and let his tongue circle slowly around the other one. Louis tugged at Harry’s hair and enjoyed the warm tongue on his sensitive skin. Harry nibbled at Louis nipples and licked his way to Louis’ crotch. Louis felt his bulge growing as Harry opened his jeans and let his hand slide over his length gently. He bowed his head and touched Louis’ penis through the fabric with his wet tongue. “I won’t tease you today baby, don’t be afraid,” Harry whispered when Louis let out another whimper.

“Thank you daddy,” Louis said panting as Harry pulled Louis’ boxers off and gave his length a lick.

Harry wrapped his hand around Louis’ semi-half penis and pumped it in a steady rhythm before he took it into his warm mouth and started moving his head up and down while his tongue was swirling around Louis tip with a firm pressure. Then Harry kneeled down onto the floor and started to blow Louis stronger. Louis whined and tugged Harry hair but suddenly he pushed Harry away.

“Wait . . .” he said and got up from the bed.

Harry stopped his actions and took his hands off Louis. “Oh sorry baby, have I done anything wrong?”

Louis shook his head but flushed immensely. “I . . . I wanted to ask if . . .” Louis stammered and looked away. He felt so embarrassed all of a sudden.

“Hey hey,” Harry nearly whispered and took the boy’s hand. “What do you want to ask? Don’t be shy. You really don’t have to be.”

“Can I . . . I mean . . .  can I try that out what you did to me when . . . you know, when I was handcuffed there?” Louis asked quietly but it nearly came out as a whisper.

“Do you want to tie me up?” Harry asked Louis.

He shook his head. “No, I don’t mean that.”

Harry tilted Louis chin up and gave him a slow french kiss. “Oh I think daddy knows what you want,” he breathed into Louis ear and gave him a firm nibble. “Would you like to take off daddy’s shirt first?” Harry cooed again and looked Louis in the eyes.

Louis bit his lip and nodded. He was still shy when it came to sexual actions but he enjoyed them so much and it was just too hot with Harry. He gave him another kiss and started to open the buttons of his shirt. When he saw Harry’s nipples, he gave them a light squeeze and a few licks what let Harry moan.

“I love when you’re doing that baby, they’re so sensitive,” Harry moaned and pushed Louis head down again. “Please do it again, don’t stop.”

Louis brushed his tongue against Harry’s hard nipples again and played with them for a while until Harry lied down onto the bed and gave Louis a sign to come closer.

“Come on, hover over daddy and prop yourself up against the wall,” Harry said and gave Louis’ penis a few slow strokes before he lifted his head a little and licked over Louis’ tip. “You’re already wet for me baby, I love that. Now push it in and do what you like, use me the way you want,” Harry said and opened his mouth for Louis.

That view was too good to be true, Harry on the bed, half-naked with his pretty mouth open. Louis pushed his erection into Harry’s mouth gently. The sensation of Harry’s tongue was overwhelming and when Louis started to push his hips forwards and backwards, he couldn’t oppress a few tiny whimpers. Harry closed his mouth a little and wrapped his lips around the boy firmly. Louis’ arousal grew steady but he didn’t dare to push it in stronger. When Harry noticed that he grabbed Louis’ hips and helped Louis to move them faster. He spluttered and gagged a little when Louis hit the back of his throat but he loved it as much as Louis seemed to. Harry suddenly pulled away and gave Louis a few strokes and kissed him tenderly.

“Oh baby, you’re doing so well pushing your thick cock into daddy’s mouth. I like it so much, so fucking much!” Harry said and leaned forwards to suck Louis again.

“Don’t stop daddy, please!” Louis whined when Harry pulled his mouth away just to adjust himself on the pillows.

“I won’t stop baby, don’t worry. Now use me again and release into my mouth,” Harry said while he lied back again and pushed Louis hips towards his mouth roughly. Louis couldn’t believe that Harry’s dirty words made him so horny. Why was that so appealing? Louis started to push his hips harder into Harry’s mouth until he could nearly feel the wave rolling through his body. He closed his eyes when he was close, let out a loud moan and whimpered because of the sensation of releasing into Harry’s mouth. Louis’ whole body twitched and shook as he was exploding from the pleasure Harry had given him.

“Harry, that was . . . amazing,” Louis whispered when he had calmed down again. He put his head onto Harry’s chest and drew figures onto it.

Harry wrapped his arms around the boy. “You’re getting better and better, I love you.” Harry gave Louis a kiss onto his hair before he started to scratch his scalp.

“Thank you so much,” Louis kissed Harry’s chin quickly and sighted because Harry’s soft touch felt heavenly and calmed Louis so much. Louis gave Harry a gentle kiss and sat down next to him. He looked him in the eyes and glanced over Harry’s beautiful, defined body. The tattoos were such a beautiful contrast to his white skin that Louis’ let his hand touch some of them gently. Louis watched Harry’s chest rise and fall as he let his fingers move over the large butterfly in the middle of Harry’s stomach. Then he touched Harry’s tummy until he got to the waistband of Harry’s jeans. Louis looked at Harry who nodded at him. Louis opened the jeans and pulled them down. He kneeled down next to Harry and let his fingertips run over Harry’s thighs gently. He was so beautiful, so pretty.

“Wow Harry, you’re . . . you’re already so big,” Louis remarked when he saw Harry’s erection.

Harry smirked. “You did your best baby. I owe it all to you.”

Louis chuckled, got off the bed and took the small, orange bottle out of Harry’s drawer. He squirted the liquid over Harry’s length and wrapped his hand around it. He started pumping it slowly and this time it went well for the first time. Louis’ movements were slow and stady. Harry touched Louis’ thighs and closed his eyes. His breathing increased and he started to moan because of the feelings Louis gave him. Louis focused on Harry’s length and tried not to break his rhythm.

“That feels so good, baby, so fucking amazing goo,.” Harry moaned loudly and balled his fists. “Don’t stop, please don’t,” he panted and squirmed heavily under Louis’ touch. Louis moved his hand faster and faster while he also tried to touch Harry’s tip with his thumb on a regular basis.

“You’re doing so well, baby!” Harry moaned as he got up from his position to give Louis a hot, sloppy kiss.

Louis’ grip got firm after a while and he started to pump Harry faster and faster. This time he could keep the rhythm up and Harry’s reactions showed him he was doing it right. He screwed up his eyes because of the sensation that was going on in his lower stomach. Harry couldn’t stay still. He squirmed under Louis’ touch as he moaned and whimpered loudly while Louis was continuing to bring him close to his orgasm. Harry’s fists were clenched and the grip on the sheets was so strong that Louis could see his knuckles turning white after a while. Harry’s moans and whimpers were so hot that Louis got hard again. Harry’s body was sweating and his face was completely red. Louis tried to stroke him faster until his body started to twitch, indicating that he was coming.

"Fuck!" Harry yelled loudly and squirmed. It took a few more strokes until Harry was completely releasing onto Louis’ hands and his stomach.

“That was amazing, thank you Louis.” Harry whispered while he was recovering. “You’ve learned so fast and I can’t wait to show you more . . .”

Louis looked at Harry. “What do you mean like . . . what is more?” He didn’t know what Harry was talking about during the first seconds.

Harry smiled at Louis and kissed his forehead. Then he let his hand slide down Louis’ spine until it had nearly reached his whole. “You know, there’s something inside of you that can give you sensational feelings of pleasure and arousal . . . but we still have enough time to figure it out,” Harry explained softly while he was running his fingertips around Louis’ bum.

 “You mean like . . . shoving things up . . . there?” Louis asked shyly and hid his head into the crook of Harry’s neck because he was so embarrassed.

Harry pulled Louis close and chuckled. “You’re too cute,” he said and gave Louis a small kiss onto his ear. “But it’s not just that, you can do way more to your whole than shoving things up, you know. The skin there is sensitive too and you can also lick . . .” Harry said but Louis suddenly put his hand in front of Harry’s mouth.

“Don’t tell me now, okay?” Louis mumbled into Harry’s neck. He felt his cheeks flush immediately. “It’s so . . . embarrassing.”

Harry pulled Louis’ hand away and leaned in for a long kiss. “You’re so cute when you’re embarassed,” he chuckled and let his fingertips run down Louis’ spine. “It’s fine. We don’t need to talk about it now.”

Harry took Louis’ hand in his and kissed his fingertips gently. “Don’t worry about it okay?” Harry said and smiled at Louis. “What do you think of having a shower together and then we’ll finish the pizza? I’m so hungry!” Harry whined and Louis agreed.

It was a nice evening at Harry’s. He lit the fire in the fireplace and switched on his indirect lights. After they took the pizza out of the oven they sat down on their couch and ate while a movie was entertaining them.

Louis found out that Harry liked to play chess so they started a game until they got tired. It was around midnight when Harry and Louis lied in bed, snuggled close to each other. Louis listened to Harry’s heartbeat and his breathing calmed him down so nicely. Louis nuzzled closer to Harry who wrapped his arms tighter around the smaller boy. He placed a small kiss onto Harry’s naked chest and let out a small sigh.

“I’m the happiest person when I’m around you,” Harry whispered and gave Louis a tiny kiss onto his temple. “I love you so much.”

Louis leaned in for a kiss as he cupped Harry’s face in his hands. When he pulled away gently, he looked Harry in the eyes. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You’re the best teacher in the world,” Louis chuckled and kissed Harry again. “And the best boyfriend I could ever imagine.”

Harry put his head onto Louis’ tummy and looked at him in silence. Louis caressed Harry’s cheek and let his hand ran through his messy hair. There were no words left to describe how Louis felt when he was close to this beautiful and kind man. How could he be so lucky?

“Harry?” Louis said quietly into the dark.

“Yes baby, what’s up?”

“I’m happy that my family knows about us and I’m happy they like you.”

“No more secrets, no more lies.”

“But . . . I’m worrying about school. What if they find out about us? I mean, what if they talk shit about you and me?” Those thoughts drove Louis crazy and he had tried to suppress them for a while but they wouldn’t go away. “What if they will bully me because I’m gay or because I’m with their old teacher? Harry, I . . . I’m so insecure about so many things that I still don’t know how . . .” Louis was close to tears although he wasn’t sad at all. He really didn’t know why he got so emotional in this moment.

“Shhh Lou, don’t cry,” Harry said softly, got up from Louis’ tummy and pulled the boy into a hug. He kissed his temple and caressed his hair for a while. “I can understand your worries, one hundred percent. But you know . . . it’s not necessary that you talk about us if you want to keep it private. You don’t need to tell everyone about your sexuality, you know.” Louis looked at Harry with teary eyes. “Don’t put yourself under pressure. Never forget that I’m on your side and I’ll be there for you whenever you need me. I love you Louis and I don’t care if people like it or not,” Harry said softly and gave Louis a small kiss onto his mouth. “The only thing that matters is that you’re happy, that we are happy together.”

Louis sighted and nuzzled closer to Harry again. “Can you hold me until I fall asleep?” Louis asked quietly and Harry wrapped his arms around him.

“Of course, love.” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear and kissed him again.

“Thank you,” Louis whispered barely audible and closed his eyes. Harry’s breathing calmed him down as he was drifting asleep slowly.

Harry placed a soft kiss onto Louis’ forehead. “Don’t be afraid, baby. Everything will be good in the end, I promise.”

 


End file.
